How do you "make your personality better" without becoming

Life experience is all.

>>35964141
Look a the positive over the negative, try to be more empathetic, try to filter yourself more when the situation requires it, bring others up rather than put them down

pick a concrete improvement you want to make, and practice.

>>35964141
Fake it until you make it. You don't become a phony and a fraud, you grow out of it.

>>35964141
empathy and not lying to yourself

>>35964141
If being a good person is "phony" for you, then you should hate yourself enough to want to actually change yourself.

As far as personality changes go I feel like it's sort of a ship of Theseus problem. You do all this work to change yourself in order to make yourself happy, changing out all the pieces of yourself, and you've changed the core of your being in order to accomplish that. Is that really you being happy, or an entirely different person? I want to make me happy, not some guy who looks kinda like me but really isn't. To me changing your personality like that on purpose is tantamount to suicide.

>>35964181
>>35964259
Can you really change how empathetic you are? Or are you just supposed to lie to yourself about how much you care about other people, thus becoming a phony? I don't care about them. I don't see how I'm just supposed to start.

>>35964141
>without becoming a phony and a fraud?
Yeah, be sure to avoid this. Though there's being phony and then there's having some tact.
But the main thing is you have to actually care. If you have to force yourself to act differently then you're not actually being a better person, you just act like it. You have to genuinely be interested in other people and develop some real insights in how they work and want to have constructive interactions just for the sake of it.
Most people aren't all that genuine desu.

>>35964403
>I don't care about them.
Then why do you want a better personality?

>>35964422
I just don't see how I'm supposed to just gain that interest is the thing

>>35964439
I'm not sure I do. At least not when it comes to those aspects.

>>35964491
Personality has a lot to do with how you relate with other people. If you don't care then you can't have much of a personality.
The aloof thing is only attractive when it's Chad.

Take this with a grain of salt cos I'm still learning.

>take a genuine interest in people's lives, remember details they tell you about themselves and bring up things such as "how was your holiday to (wherever they were going)" or "how's the house hunt going?" Shit like that, you get the idea
>listen to what they're saying and don't make everything about yourself
>wait for them to finish before you speak
>in fact the less you talk about yourself the better (within reason)
>avoid complaining about your life/ things

It takes practice, every day.

t. formerly shit personality and always had to talk about myself

>

>>35964525
Oh, I mean I care and engage with people when I'm interacting with them on a personal basis, probably too much so. I thought you meant general empathy towards the human race or something.

>>35964141
There are ways. For example, if you're in a situation where you're happy all the time, it'll be much more easier to be happy, even when shit stuff is happening. Basically there's this thing I call the "base happiness level", which is your average happiness for a given period of time. This can be only really be increased throough relatively constant positive experience, but their are ways to help it. If you're in school, it helps to actually enjoy your classes, which can be a tricky thing to do, but it is possible.