>tfw fat How do I lose weight? None of that "eat

cut off your dick and be a cute little pudgy faggot

>>35944176
but being myself is fat

>>35944193
my dick is long gone inside my fat, sorry

>>35944171
Get a friend that wants to get fit with you. It helped me a lot me and my friend dieted together and we'd always run or jog outside his house and work out and walk for miles and we would laugh constantly and play video games so it wasn't that bad. I'm getting fat because he's gone it was so easy to get fit with a friend this is just hard. I can barely walk a mile by myself.

Just remember, OP. Fast doesn't last. If you want to lose weight and keep it off, make gradual improvements to your diet and exercise routine.

>>35944200
it still has mass
maybe it will be what you need to kick start your weight loss
DO IT
5
4
3
2
1
do it now.

>>35944171
Eat less, you fucking faggot.

see if you can get yourself a tapeworm

>>35944214
fast lasts if you keep it up long enough and eat maintenance calories when you hit a normal weight.

Anybody else legitimately, morbidly obese?

316lbs was my highest recorded weigh which was verified two years ago by my doctor. I haven't weighed myself since, but have gone up two two pant sizes.

>>35944171
>none of that eat less shit

Be ready to exercise like a mad man to increase your daily calorie expenditure then.

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I'm close to being underweight according to BMI but I'm disgustingly skinnyfat. How the fuck do I escape this mode and attain nattydom without putting on too much fat?

>>35944282
where could you acquire one?

>>35944171
>none of that eat less shit
Take adderall. Not joking, look it up and have fun being a high functioning skeleton!

>>35944321
Or you know, you could give actual advice like how OP should cut back on the carbs and sodium and instead eat more proteins and lipids.

>None of that "eat less" shit please
I'm not really sure what you're hoping for.

t. Another fat ass

>>35944344
Nice digits.

Parasites are a no go, since you can get more than just tapeworm but...
by eating roadkill possums/raccoons

>>35944211
Nah i went to the gym before and didn't like it

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>>35944171
You can eat whatever you want. Just work it off/moderation. Running is good and easy way of working it off. Just put on some banging tunes and do it. Once you actually start running you realize it's not that bad.

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You know how to lose weight and not be fat you fucking mook.

You just want us to give you some half assed solution to your weight problem that allows you to sustain the lazy habits that made you fat in the first place.

Quit being a fucking faggot, eat less (caloric deficit), work out, and stop eating shitty processed food in favour of healthy food.

Progress yourself by losing the weight, or continue being a fat fuck. The ball is in your court.

>>35944411
T. Someone who has no clue about nutrition

Just accept being fat. Eating is a good replacement for love, reward wise, so the ideal activity for social outcasts.
You don't have to look pretty for anyone, after all.

>>35944397
Fat ass. Did I say go to the gym? No. I said find someone to hang out with and diet with and walk around a lot with.

>>35944428
I doubt he's willing to change his diet.

Here's a life hack: don't eat snacks you don't like.

Sounds obvious, but when I was younger I used to buy the cheapest box of jaffa cakes in the store and eat them in one go. Now if I look at the candy aisle and if I see nothing I like I just buy nothing; or I just buy something smaller and more expensive and don't feel as bad about it as I would before.

I've lost a bit of weight this way; I'm still a fatty but at least now I'm a gourmet fatty. Utility increased!

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>>35944419
Pic related: the only type of girl you'll be capable of getting with if you keep this degenerative pattern up. Grow a fucking pair and change your life..

I'm not trying to bully you, I'm trying to strike fear into you as a motivational tool because fear is what really gets us primates going.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and being a pussy, just fucking do it. A million other weaker faggots than you lost much more weight than you. GET OFF THE FUCKING COUCH.

>start eating less to lose weight
>get hungry in the middle of the night
>start eating everything in sight

>>35944419
>he fell for the healthy food scam

1000 calories of healthy food are worth the same as 1000 calories of """"""""unhealthy"""""""""" food

just because it costs twice it doesn't make it better

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>>35944483
>all healthy food costs twice as much
>he thinks "organic", high priced food is the only healthy food available.
>he disregards the importance of avoiding toxic substances and the benefits of micro nutrients completely, ignorant of the fact that macro nutrients aren't the only important aspect of a healthy diet if your goal is to lose weight and be in good health overall

>>35944569
If they were unhealthy they would be outlawed.

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>>35944576
>he thinks the government, with all the special interest groups and lobbyists that are intertwined in the food industry value our health over money so much so that they're willing to lose money if it means the consumers won't be exposed to carcinogens and toxic chemicals that will cause negative health consequences in the short term and long term.
>he's niave
>he should stop replying

>>35944621
David Israel working for big corn would never risk the health of goyim just so Schlomo Felthberg at big pharma and Esther Zuckerstein at big biotech can make some extra shekels. That would be immoral by christian standards!

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>>35944171
Eat fewer calories. Swap out high energy food with low energy foods. Cut back on the soft drinks, or switch to diet. Although I've never seen a skinny person drinking a diet coke.

>>35944621
>he thinks the consumer rights associations would let it slip to have toxic hazards in your food
>he is paranoid schizophrenic who should take his meds

>>35944330
Lift things and put them down Mister skellington.

>>35944707
fuck you man you take my meds
>not even that anon

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>>35944483
1000 calories of healthy food is higher in fibre so you are going to be satisfied with less.

>>35944171
>None of that "eat less" shit please
I don't understand this. When I wanted to lose weight, like legitimatly, I stopped eating. I ate like one small meal a day and nothing else, lost over 60lbs in a year by starving my self. It does get harder as you lose more weight though

>>35944171
Give up sodas. You'll lose weight like crazy for a while.

>>35944747
After the third day you will realize you rather eat than lose weight.
What then?

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>>35944714
Isn't GOMAD + SS a meme or something? I don't wanna end up as a t rex.

>>35944171

Really your only options are:
>1. eat healthier food (this includes cutting out sugary drinks)
>2. exercise
>3. stomach-stapling surgery

It's best to do 1 and 2 together, and 3 is a drastic move that's really only suitable if you're obese.

>>35944750
>drop the sodas
>start drinking chocolate milk instead

>>35944171
I want to go from fatty to daddy.
HOW DO!

>>35944707
>he thinks consumer rights associations isn't just but a mere platform for big corporations to throw tantrums at each other until one of them caves in or they find a consensus
> he should really take his meds

>>35944171
THIS IS A MEME THREAD YOU FUCKING NEWFAGS

you all fell for the bait, some guy makes this thread like once a month apparently

Practice putting your fucking fork down at least 30 times a day.

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Dont listen to calorie-counting cucks. You want to eat BIG and eat WHAT EVER YOU WANT. So thats what you should do.

But only one meal a day, and do some workout before you chow down. Dont eat on days you dont work out on. Your overweight will melt off, thats my guarantee!

>>35944707
>toxic hazards
Cheez Whiz and Cool Whip could fool anyone who's not used to an American diet, but they're not actually toxic.

>>35944171
Try amphetamines.
They stop you hunger.

>>35944756
I didn't have that problem and I was over 250lbs at 5'9". I guess cigarettes and depression help

Dont consume less, just replace your food with the equivalent weight of sand and eat that.

>cut the carbs to once a day (lunch). meat-only dinner, or soup, no carbs at night
>stop drinking sugary drinks. it's easier to limit drinks than food, so do it

tl;dr eat fucking less you fat fuck, what the fuck do you expect? you'll stay the fat fuck you are if you think you'll get skinny but NOT eating less

and of course
>excercise

>>35944171
Start smoking. It will suppress your appetite. Your life expectancy is still fucked tho.

Get those pills that make you unable to absorb food properly so you constantly shit oil

>>35944171
There are lots of things you can do, but one thing that helps to lose weight is to change your snack food. Let me make this clear: I'm talking about SNACK FOOD, not meals (breakfast, lunch, dinner).

Eat only fruit (bananas, apples etc) and veges (carrot sticks) and nuts (unsalted, no nut-mixes with raisins as they raisins are sugar packed) for snacking on. Don't eat any potato chips, biscuits, chocolate etc.

>>35944932
[citation needed]
construct additional originals

>>35945027
mcarthur grant kinda thinking
/thread

>>35945127
percocet?
my liver is fucked
t. to intelligent to cwe

>>35944171
Eat more, move less

Fatty

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>>35944171
Eat le-

Oh, your one of those faggots. Okay, bulk up. Turn that fat to muscle. Work yourself until you can't even walk or lift up your arms. Your only fat because you take in more than you work off.

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>guys how do I stop getting lung cancer?
>none of that "stop smoking cigarettes" pls

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>>35944171
Move around all Day
Take some speed/meth/cocaine
Drink prosecco

>>35944369
aka eat less filling things, may as well just be saying eat less

easy, look for someone with normal weight and eat the same amount as they eat. No more, no less. Also, learn to be hungry. Hungry is a feeling that can be annoying for a dozen minutes or so and then your body kicks in your body stocks. That doesn't mean starving yourself, just learning not to stuff your face the instant your stomach starts grumbling

>>35944763
It's a meme cus it fucking works, you fuckin imbecile. Smarter people than you have figured out this shit long ago. There are people who dedicate their entire fucking lives to physical fitness. Don't be arrogant, assuming shit that works for 99% of the population won't work for you.

>>35945675
Don't say another goddamn word. Up until now, I've been polite. If you say anything else--word one--I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this fear engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins you will hear the sound of children screaming--as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of nothing will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark work will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth.

>>35944171
Rigor mortise
as in KYS
the worms will eat all your fat

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>pls tell me how to lose weight without doing the actual thing that makes me lose weight other than surgery
Fat people.

whenever you get hungry
go to sleep

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>>35945734
This. It works when I can't get drugs. It MUST work for food also.

>>35944704
I drink diet and im skinny (because i dont want to be slightly overweight again)

>>35944320
Tfw 380lbs. Kill me.

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>>35945693
Kill yourself then, mongoloid. But you won't end up as the lord of hell, more like a skeleton with flames coming out of his ass.

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>>35945555
>these digits
>this sanctimonious anti-American propaganda
don't listen to this nut, Anons. Wouldn't you prefer the smooth, mild relaxation of a Phillip Morris branded product instead of a lecture?

>>35944171
Ever heard of a place called Aushwitz ?
Supposed to be very good

go vegan brah
or low carb
I dunno man

Watch "Training with Hinako".

OP you are a fucking joke and this attitude towards losing weight is the same reason why you will never find love, cause you're just a lazy fat fuck who will never put any effort into changing his life. kys faggot

>>35944464
Very good, good quality vibes gourmet anon !

I can't stand obese people, I think they are disgusting. Not their shape or their appearance, but being around someone who's constantly over eating

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>>35944171
>don't tell me to eat less
>don't tell me to beat my cravings
>don't tell me my addiction will break
>don't tell me to count calories
>don't tell me to exercise
>don't tell me to start small
>don't tell me to set a cheat day
>don't tell me to walk
>don't tell me to cut snacks
>don't tell me to cut soft drink

It never fucking ends. You dont want fucking advice, you want some faggot to hold your fat sweaty meatball hand and tell you that you're gonna make it, that one day you'll wake up thin

You have 3 options:

Ketonics. Mostly cut out carbohydrates and eat lots of fat. You still get to eat a lot but after awhile your body will adapt and youll burn fat for energy. You can even start fasting once you get comfortable. Use carb free sweeteners and eat a fuckload of cheese.

That or take ephedrine on an mc stack and juat stop eating almost entirely

Smoking cigarettes

>>35944171
I m trying to eat less than 500 kcal a day for at least two weeks it might work (also only veggies and non fat meat 3x a day)

> morning : banana + coffee
> lunch : veggie (carrot, cucumber, tomatoe) + half a slice of ham
> dinner : potatoe (or bread) + 1 slice of ham

Also drink alot of water and do 30 min workout a day (especially crunches)

Eat less you fat fuck. Also move your ass off your mom's basement and work the fuck out.

>>35945912
>fat sweaty meatball hand
unrelated but why are fat people so sweaty? it's disgusting

>>35945926
>crash dieting
Does metabolic damage.

>crunches
Muh spot reduction myth.

>>35946053
>>crash dieting
>Does metabolic damage.
>>crunches
>Muh spot reduction myth.


what if your metabalism is alreayd ufcked form being fuked

how do you fight alway shungryh

>>35946005
It's like they're wearing 10 sweaters at once. Also even the slightest movement is super strenuous for them. Combine the two and you have a lot of fucking sweat.

>>35946104
By eating right and only eating slightly below your TDEE by only 200-500 calories. Taking it slow is easier than depriving yourself by a lot.

>>35946005
It's because yeah, fat holds onto heat so anything we generate gets trapped.

t.fatfuck wholly aware of why his fat and how to combat it

>>35944171
Got to /fit/ and read the sticky senpai, get fit and girls will like you

>>35946702
>meanwhile, another /fitizen/ posts another ">tfw no gf" thread