What keeps you going, /r9k/? What's stopping you from shuffling

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>>35937030

There's nothing really Keeping me here in a real sense. I just listlessly move from activity to activity and before I know it the day is over.

Over time I've sort of shut out the world and only existed as someone occupied in escapism. Recently I've become obsessed with the idea of hitchhiking/vagabonding. What's a better form of escapism then just focusing on day to day survival?

>>35937030

I'm just living one day at a time, I guess. Work 8-5 Monday to Friday in an office. Evenings and weekends I don't really do much. I tell myself that I'm going to do something different but it's always the same for me.

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>>35937107
That does sound pretty neato, but I'm too much of a pussy to ever do something like that. I'd be worried about getting stabbed and mugged and whatnot.

But hey, if you got the balls to do it, more power to ya.

I'll stick to sitting in front of the comforting glow of my computer's monitor.

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>>35937287
Is your job enjoyable at least? That's all I'd want is an enjoyable job, regardless of salary.

Do you have much of a personal life, or is 4chan your personal life?

>>35937030
Spite

Oregano

>>35937030
>What's stopping you from shuffling yourself off this mortal coil?
Privacy.

>Are there things you just enjoy doing enough that you want to avoid death as long as possible to maximize the amount of time you have to do them?
No

>Are there goals you are striving towards that you don't want to give up on?
No
>Finding that GF maybe?
No


>Do you not really know and are just living one day to the next
Yes
>hoping for the best?
No? unless you mean the best for me.
A donnie darko tier death.
Something that just happens and I dont have to get outta bed or have time to avoid it

>>35937030
That's almost exactly how I was sitting, damn. Anyway, I'm not really sure. I don't really enjoy living, and I'm certainly not looking forward to next year, much less another 60. I guess the only things I really like about life are wasting and escaping it. I'm pretty sure I'll kill myself sooner or later. I wanna wait, so my parents aren't around anymore when I do it, but I kinda doubt I can hold out anywhere near that long.

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Failed in my attempts to an hiro- I needed it to look like an accident and was repeatedly saved by fate or the quick wit and kindness of strangers.
Years have passed since then, I feel now that there's no point in rushing towards the inevitable, I will die eventually and I may as well try to make some sort of way for myself in the meantime.

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>>35937030
The only reason I haven't killed myself yet is because of my waifu. If I can't live for myself I am at least trying to live for someone else but I don't know if it will be enough.

At this point all I need is a big enough push and I'll end myself.

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At one point, I truly loved life, and under the right conditions I know I can get back there. Things have been rather shitty so far, including childhood, so I keep going with the idea that I haven't experienced the best there is, and I can get there. Things like true love and lasting friendship are goals. I've glimpsed them before, and it's astoundingly better than being alone.

From your description, it sounds like we're similar. I never think about suicide, because my life isn't awful - it's just extremely dull. I just hold out hope that my chemistry will sort itself out and I can pretend like these last few years have been one long, frustrating nightmare.

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>>35938913
I admire your optimism, desu.

And I wouldn't say my life is awful, either. Born in a 1st-world country to a stable, loving family. No real health defects apart from my mental ailments.

One big shift in my way of looking at the world or thinking and things could turn around.

I just haven't the slightest idea how to do so and my patience is running out. Trying to live day-by-day with no substantial motivating factors is excruciating.

>>35937030
>What keeps you going, /r9k/?
Fear of pain and fear of going to Hell.
>What's stopping you from shuffling yourself off this mortal coil?
The fear of going to Hell.
>Are there things you just enjoy doing enough that you want to avoid death as long as possible to maximize the amount of time you have to do them?
At this point, nothing. I get satisfaction from nothing.
>Are there goals you are striving towards that you don't want to give up on? Finding that GF maybe?
All my dreams have been taken from me.
>Do you not really know and are just living one day to the next, hoping for the best?
The best for me would be a painless death so I guess?

>>35937363

Some days are better than others. The job itself is pretty monotonous but my main gripe is the lack of communication, both within my company and the accounts I work with. Problems that should be able to be resolved in a day take weeks or months. I do enjoy the bits of analytical work I've been able to do from time to time, so my hope is that I'll be able to transfer to a more analytical role in the future. Either that or I'll give up and become NEET.

Personal life? Not much to speak of. I have one friend I see semi-regularly but he's mostly living the normie life now. Family ties have always been tenuous. My grandmother died in February and I didn't know until after she passed. Hadn't seen her, or any of my extended family in years. Even my mom and brother, who live in the area, I don't see or talk to for months at a time.

>>35939513
It's optimistic, but still grounded in reality. As far as I know, most mental health ailments like depression fade eventually. If you're a young guy and you're already different from the norm, a shift in hormones or a chemical imbalance can really fuck you over. Sometimes life isn't easy. The motivating part is that shit like that has happened before, and people survived. I think it takes a lot of patience, but it can be done.

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I'm still pretty young, almost out of high school, but I'm probably gonna have to stay longer. I've just kind of lost the will to try to excell at school. My grades are plummeting, but I can't bring myself to care in the slightest. I just go through the motions, thinking about how much happier I used to be while trying to figure out where things went sour. I can't even listen to the same songs I used to because I'll just start crying. I try not to dwell on MY feelings, though, because I know that there's robots out there with problems far worse than mine.

I'm only 20 and even though I think about killing myself almost everyday, I still have that little optimism that keep me going.

Lately I've been feeling really stuck, though.

>>35939608
hell isn't real anon. deep down we all know religion isn't real