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>be me
>be 300lb normie slayer
>wake up 5 in the morning
>tummy growls for tendies and mountain dew
>screech at the top of my lungs
>then proceed to yell
>"THE NORMIE SLAYER HAS AWAKENED NOW HE MUST FEAST ON TENDIES"
>hear mommy sobbing
>I didn't ask for crying I asked for tendies dumb normie bitch
>"THE NORMIE SLAYER SHALL NOT WAIT, FOR HE IS A GOOD BOY"
>still hear mommy crying like a little bitch
>Thats it
>grab my pee and poo jar
>lay on my skateboard (my big bones are to heavy for me to walk)
>surf down the stairs and get a big owie
>start crying
>"MOMMY THIS IS YOUR FAULT YOU LAZY CUNT NOW YOUR BIG BOY IS HURT"
>sobbing gets louder
>bitch doesn't even come to give me kisses
>normie slayer is enraged
>stand up because of my anger strength
>knock down mommy's door
>bitch is screaming in fear
>YOU HAVE BEEN A BAD MOMMY, NOW YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY THE PRICE, PREPARE FOR THE PEE POO DICE"
>take off my diaper throw it at her face
>spin around and shit and piss everywhere
>mommy is begging for mercy
>too late bitch
>throw pee and poo bottle on her
>headshot
>glass breaks on her
>she's knocked out cold
>pick up a glass shard and stab her nipples
>she's bleeding from her head
>go to the freezer and grab all the tendies and stuff them in my pockets
>run go back up stairs to my dojo
>watch mlp for 6 hours while eating frozen tendies
>hear sirens outside
I hope they take my abusive mommy away and give me a new tendie vendor
>>
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>be me
>23 y/o tendie enthusiast
>$800/mo tendiechecks
>I call them tendiechecks because I exchange them for GBP
>Mommy brings me tendies this morning as usual for 15gbp
>Says she will increase the price of tendies over the coming months if I don't look for my own place
>Explain that no places on Craigslist accept GBP and that I'm her good boy
>She leaves crying and has a long phone call with dad
Unrelated: what do you do when a poo bottle spills and has already soaked into the wood floor after a couple weeks of neglect ?
>>
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>be me
>mummy's chunky 550 pounder
>wake up at 5pm
>roll over in my play pen
>something is missing
>my waifu pillow is gone
>that bitch has kidnapped her
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>no reply
>roll out of the pen but too fat to stand
>crawl along the floor
>poopoo and peepee bottles fall and spill in my wake
>my soiled mlp onesie becoming a jackson pollock canvas of poo and pee
>roll down the stairs and see mummy in the kitchen
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HER, WHORE?!
I-I don't know what you're talking about sweetie
MY WAIFU! WHERE IS SHE!
Your pillow... thing. I took it to the washateria it was all gross and crusty
MY WAIFU PILLOW I SHALL FIND, THEN YOU SHALL EAT TENDIES FROM MY BEHIND
>pull myself onto my legs for the first time in weeks
>can feel my knees buckling under the weight of my ample frame
>i strap on my naruto headband, grab my minecraft sword and waddle out the door on my chivalrous quest
>people gag as i pass them on the street
>others flee in terror at the sight of me lumbering down the street trailing pagaido behind me
>get to the washateria
RELEASE HER FROM HER SOAPY PRISON!
>laundry lady looks shocked
e-excuse me
MY WAIFU YOU ODOROUS CRONE! I AM TO BELIEVE THAT SHE IS HOUSED WITHIN ONE OF THESE SPINNING DEATHTRAPS!
oh, y-you're mrs anon's ch-child... your mother's laundry is over here
>i see my love being drowned in a vortex of water and suds
REEEEEEEEEEE! SHE'S DYING YOU MALODOROUS FIEND! HOW CAN YOU LET AN INNOCENT FLOWER WILT AND DIE THIS WAY!
>i use all my tard strength to rip the machine door from it's hinges
>water floods the room as i stand triumphant sword held high and waifu in hand
>make my way home expecting tendies for the returning hero
>instead see the blue and red flashing lights of the law
>they tackle me to the ground, the stench causing them to vomit all over me
IS THIS HOW AMERICA TREATS IT'S HEROES?!
>they separate me from my love and throw me in the back of a car
>i can see them dragging her away as my eyes fill with tears
>never see her agai
>>
>>35936486
>a jackson pollock canvas of poo and pee
I'm dying
>>
I'm 5'8 300lbs and wear 2xl shirts, how fat is OP pic? that shirt looks like a 5xl
>>
>>35936193
>>35936399
What is this genre called?
>>
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>>35936568
Goodboy/tendie stories
>>
>tfw tendie economist
>Increase tendie demand by increasing consumption
>Tendie crowding out occurs
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>Force mom cunt to increase GBP supply to knock down interest rates
>Tendie inflation begins to fucking skyrocket
>dumb cunt decreased required GBP reserves too much
>Throw worthless gbps at mommy
>She accidentalied decreased GBP reserves to 0
>INIFINITE FUCKING GBP MULTIPLIER
>ALL gbps are now fucking worthless
>Can no longer recieve any tendie
>Tendie market has crashed
>The shit in my daiper is worth more
IM FUCKING STARVING
IM GOING TO KILL MOMMY
>>
>>35936193
>be 35 year old powerlifter
>wake up at 9pm, after all-night tendie bulking feast
>Oh no, gym closes at 11!
>shout for mummy to bring me my lifting gear
>"Anon, I'm with New Daddy right now. You're a big boy, can't you get it yourself!"
>ungrateful bitch! she knows that if I have to walk up the stairs to get my gear I'll be too winded to do my deadlift singes!
>engage operation stench press
>roll my 500 pound frame out of bed and into the kitchen
>grab some of my shit jugs and store them in between my rolls of fat
>starting to get dizzy from rolling around and vomit all over myself
>finally get to kitchen
>mummy and new daddy are playing wrestling on the table
>"Anon, I thought you were in your room!"
>"Mummy won't get my lifting belt, she will wish she never smelt (my diarrhea)"
>unleash torrent of chocolate poopie funtimes all over mummy and new daddy
>table collapses under the weight of my big boy poopie
>new daddy screams and starts running towards me
>little does he know the awesome strength I have built by participating in the venerable sport of powerlifting
>grab him like a twig and deadlift him off the ground
>abdominal muscles are so strong that they squeeze my stomach from the effort, propelling gallons of chunky milkshake out of my mouth
>mummy starts pleading with me and says she'll make me all the tendies i want if I just stop and be a good boy
>grab my shit jugs that i stored in my fat rolls
>pour them on mummy's head
>9:30
>too late to go to the gym now
>order 500 tendies from Mickey Dee's
>can't cheat on my dirty bulk just because it's a rest day!
>>
>>35936399
>>$800/mo tendiechecks
They're called "NEETBux"
>>
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>Be me average neet getting gbp one day at a time
>usually able to save up enough gbp to get tendies 2 even 3 times a week sometimes
>get once in a lifetime opportunity
>mummy says she'll give me a million gbp if I go to university
>ace all exams
>get into stanford
>first couple of weeks felt like limitless tendies
>had enough to move from the basement to the attic
>dumped old loli waifu for even younger loli waifu
>after a few weeks though tendie prices started skyrocketing
>went form 20 to 50 to 500 gbp in the matter of a few weeks
>soon enough I'm paying thousands of gbp for a single tendie
>stopped doing chores so now the entire house is in chaos
>threw a piss bottle at professor as a show of strength
>ended up getting kicked out
>doesnt really matter I only went a couple of times because I didnt feel safe around those (((normies)))
>mummy fines me hundreds of thousands of gbp
>couldn't make payments on attic
>waifu leaves me
>got evicted by daddy #6 muhammed
>be me now back in basement
>market still at inflation prices so chores arent even worth doing since it'll take weeks to get one tendie
>making arsenal of piss bottles, poo canisters, and cum rags to allahu akbar this house
Don't fall for get comfy quick schemes lads. You'll just end up waifuless, tendieless, and in need of serious domestic reform like me. Beware of GBP inflation!
>>
>>35936399
>what do you do when a poo bottle spills and has already soaked into the wood floor after a couple weeks of neglect ?
Easy, you let mommy clean it up :)
Thread posts: 12
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Thread images: 6