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>5AM
>bitch of a mother is being loud as hell
>why can't she leave me in peace doesn't she know 3-6AM are fappy and nappy time
>I hear a loud thump
>reeeeeeee this bitch she can't do anything right
>I reeee at her until she just says 'sorry hun-huns'
>that's it, I can't stand this bitch anymore
>I yell back at her
>I don't want a sorry i demand 50 good boy points and i will kill the hamster if you don't do it
>fag op mom better deliver
>All this yelling has really been strengthing my peepee
>I decide I will man up i am a man now and I will follow through
>I grab the hamster which mommy gave to me something about turning 30 and being a big boy and learning responsibility
>she doesn't understand i am still a growing boy
>look at hamster
>the hamster has a large poopyhole
>le big idea.jpeg
>I say to hamster odds fap evens sleep
>I slide my hard peepee all the way into the hamsters asshole, casuing it to instantly spray blood averywhere from being torn open
>I guess 2 and 5/8 inches is too much for anyone to handle
>Oh man this is almost as good as tendies
>I see my door open
>I forget to reee and instead my peepee shoots all over mommy's nice work clothing and face
>'mommy you bitch get back in the kitchen i need tendies'
>I see her just fall on her knees and start crying
>I reeeee as loud as I can until she gets back up and runs away from my room
>Great now I have to scoop the peepee googoo'd into my peepee poopoo googoo jar
>why do i still let her live in this house
>>
is the hamster gonna be okay?
>>
>>35875964
>why do i still let her live in this house
Who will make the tendies if she leaves? Geez anon you got to think about these things. I mean this sort of line of thought leads to radical concepts such as...dare I say it...cooking your own tendies which as we both know is completely unacceptable.
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>>35875964
So does this mean OP isn't a wizard or do hamsters not count?
>>
>>35877230
>or do hamsters not count?
I don't see why they shouldn't
>>
>>35877601
>normans out now
>>
>>35875964
>i am still a growing boy
>turning 30
you dumb fucking manchild
>>
>>35875964
>losing virginity to hamster
NORMIE GET OUT
>>
>>35878048
That sounds like the most un-normie thing a person could do desu
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>>35875964
You're fucking disgusting. I hope your mom throws your ass out onto the street
>>
>just got back from local gamestop that my mom drove me to
>rush to my room knocking over piss bottles and pushing things out of the way
>dorito dust is still on my fingers as i visit 4chan /mlp/ board
>pull down my pants and start to tug my 2cm penis
>start clopping to mlp porn thread
>about to cum so hard
>get my cum jar out with a mlp figure in it
>thought i heard the garage door open and foot steps
>it is my normie sister and her teenage stacy friends in the kitchen
>i think they heard me
>they get closer
>sis is telling them about me
>i start mad sweating
>they are at my door
>hear the knob turn
>i put my cumjar to the side and try to waddle to the door
>i fall and pissbottles break and comp wires and tangled up and comp stuff falls with me
>can see the door opening
>her friends see me with what mess i am
>'i'm telling mom' my sis yells and slams the door
FUCKING NORMIES
>>
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>>35878779
>doesn't she know 3-6AM are fappy and nappy time
>i am still a growing boy
Hearty chuckle
>>
>>35878821
Meant to quote the OP
>>
>>35878779
>and try to waddle to the door
lol with your pants still around your ankles?
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>>35878779
>>'i'm telling mom' my sis yells
Aw dude, weak. How much GBP that cost you?
>>
>>35875964
I don't get it, what was your mother doing at that hour to cause so much noise?
>>
>>35875964
>fag op mom better deliver
Oh I kek'd
Thread posts: 17
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Thread images: 2