Any of you here? I'm not diagnosed or anything but I fit

Explain the mysterious shit. I don't have autism but people kept telling me that I seemed mysterious. What did those people who thought I had autism mean by that?

I have been officially diagnosed with Aspergers and live off NEETbux.
I just browse the internet and play vidya/watch anime/jack off all day. I sleep from 4am to 1pm and wake up feeling like shit, make myself ramen or order a pizza for breakfast/lunch/dinner and mainly drink sugary water or alcohol.
Guaranteed to become a wizard hikki unless I die before 30.

>>35865567
You get any extra money for being aspie?

>>35865481
It means you don't draw attention to yourself or talk much like normal
people do, but you're also attractive or come off as confident, leading others to believe you have some other shit going on in your life which is why you seem so uninvested in their social bullshit.

Example: some guy has a hot girlfriend and a huge group of friends back at home, therefore in class or knitting club or whatever other place he's around people, he doesn't really care enough to talk to anyone much, his social needs are aready being fully met elsewhere, and it shows in his demeanor.

>>35865597
Not sure, I didn't get money until I got diagnosed in the first place.

>>35865438
Parents took me to get evaluated because I'm almost 30 and a total loser besides the fact I've earned a worthless degree.

>>35865567
>>35865597
>>35865671
From where, the government?

>>35865693
At least you got a degree, I got kicked out of college after finally standing up for myself

>>35865754
>after finally standing up for myself
What happened?

I'm pretty sure I was somewhere on the autism spectrum growing up. I don't remember acquiring any language skills until after kindergarten. I had to be held back and repeat kindergarten for another year, because my teacher couldn't even assess what I had learned.

From there, it was one awkward incident after another. Teachers were constantly getting on my case for doing cringy things like singing in class. But I had no genuine understanding of why these things might have been inappropriate or distracting. I don't think I ever managed to make any friends, probably due to said behavior. There were plenty of bullies, though. It seems like the teachers joined in the bully. That, or my inability to understand the impact of my own actions tested the patience of my teachers, and I perceived their reactions as completely unprovoked. I still have raw feelings about that.

I mostly withdrew during my teenage years. That kept me out of trouble, since not interacting with people meant I was less likely to do something they wouldn't approve of. But in my 20s, I started to get a better genuine understanding of social conventions. That was the result of a lot of perceived "bullies" in my life persistently raising objections to things I did or said. I eventually swallowed my pride and told myself to interpret their criticisms constructively. That improved my relationships with the people in my life.

Now in my 30s, I can usually have brief conversations without spooking people, but I have a lot of mental blocks. If I don't stammer, most of the sentences I put together come out fragmented, or with inflections in the wrong places. I think my current level of speech gives the impression that I've used one too many recreational drugs, or that I'm a bit slow in the head. Either way, I don't believe people suspect something along the lines of autism.

It's funny that I can articulate all of that much better through typing.

>>35865778
My roommate kept disrespecting me and stole a bunch of money from me, called me a bitch. I had two friends who felt bad for me. I attacked him and they jumped in to help me.

>>35865937
>they jumped in to help me
God, I'd kill for friends like yours. I want nothing else

>>35866078
Friendship is truly the most valuable thing. They got kicked out of school too, I doubt I'll ever see them again. I feel very guilty that they got dragged down with me

>>35865784
Definitely relate to you a lot. Especially on the speech. People think I'm retarded or high, I'm perfectly fine when I write or type but I'm awful with speech

>What is your life like?
Shit. Relatively speaking, I know I live in the first world and all. But this is a fucking curse.
Almost every interaction with someone who doesn't know me well enough, they either look at me like I have two heads or they're overly nice.
I grew up hearing how people like me are burdens and inferior weaklings, and now I can't get it out of my head. I will probably never be viewed as an equal, and there is nothing I can do or could've done about it.
I'm so used to being patronized and white-lied to that I no longer know who to trust when I need an honest opinion. So many people think I can't handle it
The amount of people that think you can't experience empathy or have deep/complex emotions is outrageous.


>>35865784
i'm the same way with speech vs. typing

>>35866348
Yeah, it seems people either treat me like the Black Plague or they're extremely patronizing. Any interaction that isn't online feels forced. Even when I feel perfectly at ease (very rare), whoever I'm talking to/with will be stressed out and uncomfortable, they start displaying obvious signs of distress, looking around and trying to get away from me asap. Work is a nightmare everyday, I'm tolerated or pitied at best, and despised at worst. I'm just aware enough to pick up on these cues but am entirely incapable of fixing whatever it is that's wrong with me. I constantly dream of dying, seems like my life was a horrid genetic mistake, my very presence is an unwelcome sight to anyone who is unfortunate enough to have to deal with me.

Just posting here as a blog: I've been reading about selective mutism and just learned a term called progressive mutism. Apparently it's the progression from only talking to a few people to talking to no one at all. I've hit that stage. I'm incapable of talking to anyone, it's been this way for years now. Its all fucked