>We are police detectives! Open up, anon! We have a warrant

weIl?

origiweII

>>35860941
>Quickly unmount encrypted drives in truecrypt
>let them do their job

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Go ahead officers I have nothing to hide.

>>35861367
>Quickly unmount encrypted drives in truecrypt
Why?

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>>35860941
>"Sure, go ahead!"
>they find nothing
>Det. Stabler: "Wow, he's boring. Not a pedo, no creepy internet behavior, just regular lesbian porn."
>Det. Benson: "Yeah, I definitely wouldn't date him. Wanna go rough up a few black people on the street? That makes me wet."

>>35860941
Shotgun blasts through the door. Propane tank explosions.

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>mom opened the annual candydoll delivery gift box

Keep all my risky porn on my flash drive which I can sallow before they break in.

>>35860941
you aint gonna find shit on me pig

>>35861519
...candydoll?

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NOTHING YOU CAN SAY!

>>35860941
>uses psycho telekinesis to wipe out the data on all hard drives

Heh, nothing personnal five-O

>>35862169
>an /asp/ meme that is actually related
Never thought I'd see the day

>moIotov everything

>>35860941
No one by that name here gl getting jurisdiction lol bye beta boys

>>35860941
>We have a warrant
no you don't. go away

>>35860941
this happend already, they stole all my stuff

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>>35862397
>Alright boys!

>>35862549
Why did it happen?

orihap

>>35862583
the charge: possession and disseminating of child pornography

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fl1dMVXFnk

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>>35862127
loli sex doll but I'm sure you've already googled it and the van is on its way

sudo dd if=/dev/sda of="Suck my balls"

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>>35862261
So, it's a New Day is it?

>>35863146
YES IT IS

Oreganario

>>35860941
I'd ask to see a copy of the warrant.

>>35862646
You dun goofed. How did you get caught? Your reaction? What happened next?

details pls

Empty a mag at the door
reload and shoot myself

>>35860941
Blowtorch to hard drive after smashing open my PC case in a hurry

No im not a pedo, but drugs are just as bad in The Law's eyes.

>>35861367
Oh, and be held indefinitely in a jail until you hand over the passwords once the forensics dudes find the mysterious partition that obviously belongs to a crypto container

>>35863662
drugs arnt that bad if your just using and especially if its weed and not crack or shrooms r-right?

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>Encrypt a folder called "CP"
>Make the police waste time (tax payer's money, could be investing serious crimes) trying to decrypt it.
>It contains nothing but photoshop images of me eating pizza"
But yeah I'd smash my harddrive because I don't want anyone finding out about the fetishes I have or that I ERP with people.

>>35863757
eating and fucking*

>>35860941
Wipe everything before I get charged with treason.

>>35863707
Drugs are bad in the eyes of The Law, but online drug related activities take you straight to multiple felony charges. They'll add on shit like intent to traffick and you'll be investigated by the DEA and other federal agencies. Not a good place to be.

>>35863904
So, how many bomb guides have you written Ahmed? Asking for my friend, Charlie I. Adams

>>35860941
That's why i have a HUGE neodymium magnet on the other side of my room and all my 24TB of data is on HDDs... i can kill them in a second.

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I'd let them search it

At least loli isn't illegal in the states yet.

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Probably the most incriminating thing would be the Mega Folder. I would imagine some of the info is illegal. In terms of porn, they would be disappointed to know that I really only have a penchant for vanilla.

>>35864052
24TB of what?

>>35865199
Data, you fucking retard

>>35865222
What kind of data, my non-retarded friend?

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>>35860941
Sure what are they going to find? Out of my 7tb it's, 3 of anime, 1 of 2d porn, 1 of games, 1/2 of miscellaneous 4chan reactions and pics. Nothing illegal, they'd probably just be creeped out at all the 2d porn and complete lack of 3d.

>>35865250
I'm not that anon I was just memeing desu

Now I feel bad because you're legitimately curious and will never get an answer

I'm sorry anon.

>>35862646
I think I remember you.
How's life?

>>35862646
so like, we're gonna need more info

what happened?

>>35861367
>any year
>using truecrypt

kek, you're fucked

>>35865601
this

Bumpump

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>>35860941
me : oh shit shit shit shit shit
take all my HDD and put them in the microwave by the computer and fry the evidence

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>>35860941
I'd soon make up a story that I study criminology as a minor subject, and that I am going to make a research on Elliot Rodger, to explain all of those E-files on my computer (I have to have them there too as I do no trust clouds or memory sticks only.).

i mean, the only thing they'd find are some pirated games and software. i wouldn't really mind, i feel like it would take a while though so that would be annoying.

Not too worried. All they'd find is anime, futa doujins and 10 gigs of frog pictures.

>"Why is all the porn just of guys turning into girls?"
Haha it's for a prank Mr. FBI

Id be really annoyed, quickly but on a shirt and some jeans and answer the door. Id tell them i was at the toilet or something and then let them get on with it. The worst thing i have on my hard drive are images for 4chan and they arent illegal.

>>35864851
I thought i varied from state to state

>>35860941
Hard drives are in an external custom housing
3 drills mounted on a motorized drill press
2 battery backups
Housing contains a commercial microwave magnatron, turns on when the drills hit bottom
Have a capacitor hooked up to the motherboard, will try in moments

No worries, I use a neighbors wifi, enjoy watching to party boys kick in his door, he is a registered sex offender, not supposed to have internet access

>>35867972
>Hard drives are in an external custom housing
>3 drills mounted on a motorized drill press
>2 battery backups
>Housing contains a commercial microwave magnatron, turns on when the drills hit bottom
>Have a capacitor hooked up to the motherboard, will try in moments
Why?
>I use a neighbors wifi
How did you manage to? Are you friends?
>he is a registered sex offender
What did he do?

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>>35860941
>let them enter because 2 scared and dindu nuffin
>they see all my futa porn saved on computer
>then laugh at me
>cry self to sleep

I don't care, just read them and get on with it. You're interrupting my LoL game.

>Just take me to fucking prison I'd rather not dissapoint my parents anymore