I just asked a girl on a date expecting her to make an excuse

>>35858886
Go on the date

Why not just go on the date you fag ? I swear some of you niggers can't grasp hapiness when it falls into your hands.
Take her to the zoo or some shit. If you don't wanna talk much and she's not a complete normie invite her to watch a show or an anime like Redditman.

>>35858925
I cannot do that Anon. I will have a nervous breakdown.

>>35858965
Then do you have resigned yourself to be a wizard ? Because otherwise you're gonna need to go on a date someday, might as well do it while you're young. Even if it's bad it will be some experience for you

>>35858943
I've already sort of promised to take her for a meal and a drink. I haven't thought this through.
>>35859044
I am already a wizard. I can't do this because I haven't thought it through at all. I don't know where to go or how to plan it or what the fuck. I can't even drive.

And I've left her hanging for the last two hours after she said yes.

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>>35859155
What the hell do you want to "think through" ? You pick a nice place where to eat, you meet up with her at a place where it wouldn't get you too long to reach the restaurant/cafe/whatever, you make small talk on the way, you get to the restaurant, you ask for a table for 2, you sit down, you bee urself, you eat, you ask for the check, if you know a good place for deserts you ask if she wants some, you bring her back, you tell her it was fun hanging out with her and you'd like to do this again, you go home, you take a big fat load, you wipe your ass, you wash your hands, you sit down in front of your PC and you make a thread telling us it went great and that you were a faggot for stressing this much.

Got it ?

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>>35859859
>you go home, you take a big fat load, you wipe your ass, you wash your hands, you sit down in front of your PC and you make a thread telling us it went great and that you were a faggot for stressing this much.

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>>35859859
>you bee urself

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>>35859859
i-is this really how dates go ?

>>35860194
You tell me anon, does it sound plausible to you ?

>>35858886
why did you asked her then if you pussy out now?

>>35859859
Got it. Okay. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. Fuck.
>>35861542
I didn't think she'd say yes. When you are a desperate lonely virgin all you think about is getting the date. You never consider the consequences.

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>>35859859
>non autistic, somewhat decent advice on /r9k/

>>35861639
Okey, dont forget to tell us the story anon - pics or it didnt happen

>>35861639
Proud of you bb. Remember to be on your best that day.

>>35859859
>you meet up with her at a place

Personally, I would pick her up at her place and take her to the restaurant/cafe/whatever. You don't even need to have a car or know how to drive, just call for a uber or cab.

>>35861865
>>35861913
I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks guys.
>>35861947
Yeah, just for clarification, should I pick her up in a cab or meet in a public place? Also, is Friday a good date night?

>>35862003
Shit, also what time should it be at? Like 5 in the afternoon? 7? Sorry I'm such an autist.

>>35862003
You definitely should pick her up in a cab (assuming you don't drive or have a car). Just don't fucking make it awkward (as in being mostly silent), smalltalk all along the way, but, most important, listen to her.

>It's so cold today
SHIT-TIER SMALLTALK

>I was listening to the beatles yesterday, do you like them?
NORMIE-TIER SMALLTALK

>You have a nice ass
CHAD-TIER SMALLTALK

Be yourself, be nice, be gente, be polite.

>>35862003
Forgot to say, friday night is nice for a date. Unless you play magic the gathering

go on a date bring her to like a nice dinner place.

>>35859859
>you make small talk on the way
How do I do do this?

>>35862099
>>35862120
Okay, okay, okay, 7pm Friday night. Picked out a restaurant, dessert place and bar all within walking distance of each other. Here goes nothing.

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>>35862120
>Unless you play magic the gathering

>>35862296
dont forget to comb your hair

>>35862296
Nice. Now, you shouldn't forget that she exists until friday. Keep talking to her on normiebook and try to make her yearn for the date you are going to have.

This can be useful to get to know her better and to present yourself.

Also, this is a good way to adjust expectations. As if, you are all Chad talking to her online, she will expect you to be a Chad in person. If you are all shy/awkward online, she will DEFINITELY expect you to be awkward in person.

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>>35862150
Depends if you know her or not. If you do, I trust your enough of a real human bean to know what to tell her (considering she accepted the date and you know her then you at least connect a little). If you don't, anything goes as long as it's not autistic.

>>35862296
Godspeed, you're gonna make it.

>>35862150

Normie here with two gfs.

People like to listen to themselves talk, if you just ask leading questions that cannot be answered simply with a yes/no, while asking them in such a way that makes her want to open up.

Leading questions that give lots of room for her to talk and you to listen and comment always feel great if they are a normie girl.

Literally just ask stupid shit like

What is your major?
Why did you pick that?
Oh really? I've always heard that people in that field are like this, is it like that?

That is cool, I find that stuff facinating, where would you like to do that at if you have even thought that far? Here or move someplace else?

Oh yeah I'm personally more into colder climate weather because that is what I grew up under a climate like that nearby, are you from around here originally?

Oh that is cool, what was growing up in that area like? I am mildly familiar with "this thing in that area that connects us"

It is literally just an improvisational script.

If you do this + not being ugly, you can pick up women anywhere, anytime. Usually I do this, and transition it into them coming home with me or getting coffee at a later date, but it fits well with your thing.

>>35862334

This nigga knows what's up. Proper hygiene. I mean, I don't, and you don't expect her to see your penis, but groom yourself like she might. Also, whatever you do, do NOT. DO NOT. WEAR YOUR OWN FAPPING SOCKS TO THE DATE. If you have to, buy some new ones, and treat them to a nice date too before using them.

>>35862488
This guy fucks

>>35862492
Personal hygiene is a MUST here. Also, take a shower and brush your teeth before the date.

OP here furiously taking notes. You guys really are a good bunch of people. Thanks.

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>>35862624
Remember lad, I know it's hard, but don't spill spaghetti and don't act too eager. Eagerness and desperation is a huge turnoff to women. You probably think that it's your last chance or some shit because you're above 30 but remember that if it goes terribly, you'll be back at square one but this time with the experience of what you shouldn't do. You could get this one date, it means you can get another.
As long as you're willing to reflect on your mistakes and willing to learn, you're going to be fine and you'll get through this.

>>35862774

Here is something that I took away from my public speaking class in Uni. If all hell breaks loose and you drop your spaghetti, don't fucking panic.

Depending on the context you either want to laugh it off quickly and laugh with her, while pivoting the subject around to something different (self-depreciate in a funny way, or spin it back on something earlier in the conversation, keep your cool)

If you feel like you can't do that, the second thing to consider if you massively fuck up is

I cannot say this enough.

Don't just stammer out something really really dumb off the cuff after you spill the spaghetti that is just going to make a bad situation worse. If you can't laugh it off elegantly off the cuff then don't try to do it. You will only make things that much worse.

Instead, take a moment to pause and collect yourself before saying anything. Don't take too long or it will get creepy, but like 3-5 seconds of not saying anything to think of what you need to say to fix whatever it is you did wrong or play it off, is infinitely better than just blurting out something without thinking. Composure time for a few seconds does not look awkward from the other persons perspective. Stammering and saying dumb shit without thinking for a second does.

>>35862774
>>35862917

OP I hope you're reading these guys specifically, they're providing sage advice and if you take nothing else away from the thread, remember these two(because you can't bring your notes with you on a date. I tried. It doesn't work well, even if you try to sneak a peek while she's in the bathroom. Much like actually trying to sneak a peek while she's in the bathroom.)

You have good senpais in this thread regardless, but these two just handed out some masterclass shit you'd have to usually pay someone to tell you, but only after paying the additional 12 installments first.

NotOP here
I am going to a party this weekend and there will be women including acquaintances of mine. They know me well enough to see through it if I act differently even though it has been a few months since I last saw them
Should I keep it in my pants or try anything?

>>35863456

Do you like the way you are acting currently or the impression of you that they currently have?

If you signal to people, "I've been considering doing this differently/making this change in my life" and then do it, it won't be so abrupt next time you walk into them with the self-improvement changes.

Just act it off like "Yeah I decided I was over that" or "Yeah I really just needed to fix that" actually acting differently is really powerful and people like to see that.

If you are already happy with how they perceive you then this advice is irrelevant obviously. And you should just go there and be yourself however you deem yourself to be.

Personally if I was in a town where the people I would run into at a random bar/party thought negatively of me because of my own actions, I would simply move for my social sanity desu. No shame in starting from a clean slate somewhere. Cities/towns are dime a dozen.

>>35863615
It's not really that my behaviour is "out there" or anything. They just know that I was at the brink of developing schizophrenia, had near-psychotic episodes which they witnessed, but I got stabilised and am now just "mentally vulnerable" which basically means that if I stress myself too much, I'll risk crossing the line for good

>>35862917
not OP, but I would need more time to think than these 3-5 seconds. In these 3-5 seconds I would go like "fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I screwed up, what do I do, what do I do?" and then would probably end up saying something autistic.

I admire every anon who can talk to another person for more than 10 minutes at the time. How you guys do it is beyond me.

>>35863811

Honestly I don't have any advice other than to say that it just comes with practice of screwing up massively and fucking it all up.
You should be able to screw up massively and improv off of it almost instantly. If you can't recover instantly you should stop and think and compose yourself until you can. Even a longer silence than what I mentioned is better than saying something autistic.

IF you just play it off quickly, you change the subject and made a joke or whatever, it signals to the other person that the problem has been resolved in your eyes and they are free to continue on what they were doing. You are steering them to believe the problem is over whether it actually is or not, and it stops feeling like a big deal to them. You cut it down and make it a non-issue before it can become an issue.

On the other hand, the longer you wait on the silence coming up with a solution, that sends a huge red flag signal, it signals, this conflict is not over and has not been resolved. Not only has it not been resolved but anon is signalling to me that the issue is an actual issue. It feels heavier the longer you take to lead to resolution. Every second you go unresolved makes the spaghetti grow in power. It is a feedback loop in a sense, the issue gets bigger, and then it suddenly feels like an issue that can't just be resolved with a quip or a simple statement. Then the issue has to be talked about in a more substantial way to give the other party closure feeling, which is not what you want.

All this is to say, spilling the spaghetti is only as bad as you allow it to be. Remember you are the one who screwed up, the resolution to the problem is in your court 80% of the time.

>>35858886
if she said yes she likes you so you better go on this date you fucking loser or ill find you somehow and beat the living shit out of you

dont end up like me

>>35864456
Had a girl say she wanted a date a few months ago. I ignored her and now she hates me.

I turned 27 last week. Still a virgin. I've started thinking about suicide again.

>>35859155
Hire an uber, take her out to a bar, take an uber back It doesn't matter that you can't drive since you will both be drinking anyway.

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This is a really good thread, lads. Sometimes you guys surprise me.