>go into supermarket >get cashier to scan all my items

>>35853174
>tfw they'd call me to put your items on a cart and put them all back

Please don't do this, anon. I am but a miserable wagecuck

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>>35853174
You are such an horrible person

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>>35853174
>go into public bathrooms
>go into a cubicle and lock it from the inside
>crawl under the stall and do it to the next cubicle
>continue untill all the cubicles are locked from the inside

>>35853328
>crawling on a piss-soaked public toilet floor

kinda owning yourself there

>>35853436
>Come to devilish thread
>Pretend to be newfag
Your being extra mischievous aren't you?

>>35853459
h-ha ha y-yeah anon, that's definitely what I'm doing

>>35853174
>go into university bathrooms
>stand at urinal pretending to pee until someone goes into the cubicle
>leave and switch the lights off as i do so

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>order a burger and fries
>actually wanted a milkshake

>>35853174
>attend meeting with boss at temporary placement
>decide it would be better to not ask about employment after my placement in order to benefit myself so that I don't get embarrassed
Wow guys I must really be inconveniencing him haha what a nob

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>>35853174
>touch my dick
>don't wash hands
>touch normies

That's what you get Stacies for ignoring me

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>>35853174

> HEB cashier: Have a nice day.

> I ruin my own day intentionally and make it bad.

>>35853623
>holds the mental confidence and is able to be within close vicinity to a normal with little to no effort whatsoever.

fucking normies

I don't know which one of you guys pisses ENTIRELY on the fucking bathroom floor, but fuck you, someone has to clean that.

Same with the person who finds it funny to shit in the urinal. Fuck you too.

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>>35853174
>go into public bathrooms
>remove all the toilet paper from the holders

get fucked normies

>take a friends cell number
>go to a craiglists and yellowpages
>take out an add for hot cum slut wants dick pics
>get them sent unsolicited dick pics in mass
>they freak out on facebook
>been doing this for years now
>still not caught
its real funny

>>35853723
That's actually pretty kek worthy

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<sign on door says push
<Pull

>>35853795
>break door
>get cut on broken glass
>need to go to hospital
>develop a crippling morphine addiction
>overdose and die

>be with a racially mixed group of lowlives
>a white introvert walks past us
>we loudly laugh at something unrelated

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>wagecucks neighbor leaves for work and flips the little flag on his mailbox
>run outside and flip it back down

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>>35853174
>go into university bathrooms
>take epoxy glue in with me
>smear ot on the inside of the stall locks
>multiple complaints about people being stuck in the stalls

ive been doing this for months

>see a car with a parking ticket
>pretend its my car, act outraged when grabbing the ticket so no one questions
>walk away with ticket
>they either get another one, or go months without knowing and have to pay a much larger fine

>store clerk: have a nice day!
>don't tell me what to do.

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>>35853857
>how to trigger /r9k/ in 3 easy steps

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>>35853857
every time
i know it's not me but it still makes me anxious as fuck

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>>35853174
>be teachers assistant at shit University
>have pin-worms
>setting up for class on a Tuesday
>wipe my ass with my hand and dip it in my professor's weird fruit drink
>professor cancels class two weeks later
>apparently suffered an "intestinal related issue"
>mfw I gave him pin-worms
>mfw this was over two years ago and I still have pin-worms
Great success.

>go into library
>get on a computer and fire up mspaint
>black bucket tool
>print 50

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>>35853717
this picture makes me laugh everytime

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>antivirus tells me to restart the pc to remove the trojan
>click on restart later
Who else /assertive/ here.

>go on /r9k/
>make thread on how easy it is to get a GF

GIVE ME YOUR (YOUS)

>>35853723
>popular saying is "en masse"
>madman says "in mass" instead and doesn't even acknowledge it
HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT

>>35853961
ishygddt
you have been muted for 4 secundos.

>>35853174
Not hard to handle, we just total void your items and throw your shit in the returns or trash depending on the item.

>get on bus
>Pay only to the next stop
>Stay on for more than one stop


I AM UNSTOPPABLE

>go to pee in public bathrooms
>Intentionally piss on the fragrence blocks so they dissolve quicker

Ha! Take that system!

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>>35853174
>go into Carl's Jr
>order a $4 meal
>that will be $4.40 including tax anon
>all i have is this $4 mister
>don't worry about it
>mfw i actually did have 40 cents
>mfw my money won't be helping out grhetto schools anytime soon

>>35853483
I've done this to someone before and as I walked out of the bathroom they yelled "I CANT AIM"

>>35856401
Ghetto school don't deserve shit. They waste all there money on there worthless football teams to make the players feel part of something.

>>35853723
You can actually get in a lot of trouble for this.


Some guy in my town did the same thing, But posted his ex wife's address and niggers and gooks kept showing up asking for sex lol

She eventually called the police and arrested one of the guys. The guy said he got the info from craigslist and the police back traced him.


Apparently its called "using a computer to commit a crime" and It's a high misdemeanor

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>>35853174
>be at uni
>Sitting in class.
>See two roasties come near me to sit down
>Put feet on the seat in front of me
>mfw they can't sit on the row in front now
>mfw stacy will have to be somewhere else
Will somebody ever stop me?

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>shower and shave
>put on suit and tie
>print out resumes
>go to job fair
>speak with recruiters
>hand them resumes
>leave
>never get a call for an interview because no one wants to hire a creepy one-eyed retard

>classmate texts me asking for me to vote his band on facebook for whatever shit contest, he said it was really important for him
>open the contest page, but instead of voting his band, i voted the one i liked the most

feels good man

>>35856566
I made a Skyrim character like you.

I call him Barok Magic Eye

He views magic as a lesser art to archery but had to learn some to cope after losing one of his eyes to a frost troll.

>>35853723
for years huh lol. you crazy fucker

>print off "Shop is closed" signs
>Go into random shops and stick them to the doors

>>35856566
What the hell is going on with that eye?

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>>35853526
>ask for medium rare
>they bring me medium well
>"how is everything?"
>"g-great, thanks"
wew I'm bad

>>35857106
Legend has it he lost it fighting a frost troll up near High Hrothgar. Since losing his depth perception he had to adapt by harnessing dormant magical energy.

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>>35853857
>A day will come when you think yourself safe and happy, and suddenly your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth, and you'll know the debt is paid.

>>35857196
>The legendary forgotten son of the Lannisters: Autismo Lannister

>>35857089
haha that's actually neat.

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>friend is doing a cumputing and coding course at uni
>replace a 1 with a 0 randomly on his program coding

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>>35857708
Id actually fucking kill you you scumbag

>>35853174
OP, if you do that we're going to assume you're a thief if you don't actually come back and buy stuff. I work at a store and that's what all the clueless thieves do. (Smart thieves get in, grab something, and get out quickly without attracting attention instead.)

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>Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
>I rolled the world

No one can stop me.

>hear the party van coming for me
>they are going to try and take me away
>i weigh 800lbs

>someone posts a strawpoll in a thread
>fire up my VPN and skew the results in my favor.

>>35853723
Once I got pissed off at a friend and posted his Snapchat username in 4chan threads asking for dick pics

He freaked out about it but never found out who did it

Probably the most passive aggressive thing I've done

>>35858966
>passive aggressive
how is this passive aggressive?

>>35858835
this

orgorg

>>35858966
that's not passive agressive, that's active agressive

>>35859013
>>35859079
Well it still felt beta not confronting him and instead hiding behind anonymity

I'm more wojak than pepe

>>35853623
damn, i'm going to start doing that

rub my hands all over my dick when i'm going to shake hands with a woman or something

>>35856566
Anon that'd cool as fuck

>>35854272
you made me a racist

>>35856566
>not showering with the ashes of your dead comrades
>not putting an eyepatch over creepy dead eye

Looks like those recruiters played you like a damn fiddle, boss.

>>35856566
Boss?
When are you going to build mother base?

>>35853174
bring like 4 shopping carts up there and walk away