What's the most illegal thing you've done? >tfw

>routinely possess illegal drugs and paraphernalia
>have forged prescriptions in the past
>have drunk and drove countless times
And if you're really the FBI, statute of limitations has passed

drove over 20 over which is a misdemeanor iirc

>>35812686
Grow my own weed

I fed a neighborhood child

The results were messy

>>35812686
>AOC is 18
>living in a cuck state

Wow one year difference what a stupid law.

>>35812686
>>35812887

A 16 year old and I were fuck friends when I was 25


It's legal here :^)

Probably racially abusing a paki while high on E

I masturbated in a public park in view of a nearby trail people jog through.

>>35812686
I got caught stealing a candy at the local swimming pool. A lady caught me and gave me a talk and then gave me 20 cents to go pay for it.

>>35812944
>racially abusing a paki
Is this really a crime in Bongistan? In the US you can verbally harass brown people with legal impunity

>>35812686
OP you're going to jail you sick fuck

>>35812686
>stole mozzarella cheese from every large shop in my city
never get caught
>cause road accident (my bike vs someones car), made up fake personality on spot to avoid paying guy (because he was jewish)

>laundered thousands of dollars for one hundred

Not smart

Driving while drunk very often
Possession/consumption of class a felony substances
Backed into a car and fled
Stole over $500 from charity
And lots of other smaller things

>>35812738
>>35813092
I hope you druggies get shot

>Got drunk at age of 12
>Stole pringles from the market and got caught

>>35813077
Individual money laundering is barely a crime
Unless you've been dealing with literal terrorists or organized crime, its insignificant

>>35813164
Mine are just coke lsd and shrooms. Not even consistently, I have just done them a few times. I did weed some too but I don't like it

>>35812686
>HeIping to bring the 9 eIeven hijackers to the USA
>Covering up pizza related crimes
>selIing weed to teens

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I refilled my drink cup at the McDonald's soda fountain without paying a second time.

>>35812686
>slept with
Not so bad.
I slept with my mom and dad as a kid.

Hell I slept with all my cousins at my grandmas house plenty of times some were years younger than 18 at the time howssat illegal?

>>35812938
I have that situation lined up exactly. I just told her to wait until she's 16. It's only gonna be 2 months. I also clarified no sexual pictures at all until she's 18 because for some reason she can have sex when she's 16 but can't take pictures of it.

>>35812686

Don't worry OP I have too, and I have absolutely no hang ups about it. Just because something is illegal that doesn't mean its immoral

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possession of schedule 2 controlled substances with intent to distribute

but I didn't distribute. I just ate them all instead.

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I lied on the internet about committing crimes

>>35813289
Oh I don't care if anyone thinks it's immoral. That bitch was fine as fuck and as I age prime teen pussy is getting harder to get. I once had a 15 year old with huge tits want to bang me too but I told her no lel

>>35812686
I brought 13 items to the self check-out machine. I made the FBI most wanted yesterday.

>>35812686
>>35813382
how old were you at the time of the incident?

>>35813252
You fucking devil, I did almost the same thing, asked for water and they gave me a mcflurry cup that I used to go get Sprite since it looks like water

>>35813479

> I fucked a robot in his car

I already have so many questions

>>35813432
25 with the 17 and I think I was 23 with the 15

>snorted meth

>go for a jog at 3 AM

>slow down to smoke a cig

>use a match

>throw the match into brush

>started fire

>didn't do anything about it

>just kept moving

>>35812686
Where I live it is illegal to exceed the speed limit by more than 50 km/h.

So one morning with a couple of friends I took my dad's V6 Accord and brought it up to about 210 km/h on a straight stretch of 80 zone at 2am. The car was just about ready to fall apart. Also I had a level 2 license and was also not allowed to drive at that time or have more than 1 passenger in the car.

I'm too much of a pussy to do anything worse than that.

>>35813568

The only thing that would make me paranoid about the 17 or 15 year old is if you got them pregnant that shit could fuck your life up in a second.

>>35813547
You guys both gay?

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>be 15
>dad asks me to pull in the car
>do
/devilish/

>>35813479
how did you two meet up exactly? just shared contact info in a thread? what kind of thread? how close were you to each other?
>tfw will never get fucked by a robot as a cute shota

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Nice try FBI. I plead the 5th.

>>35813568
.. did you take any precautions when meeting them?

Revealed the existence of a large scale operation by the us government to monitor its citizens electronically.

>>35813598
I'm the other anon who banged a 16 year old.

I wasn't that worried since teenager girls who just want to fuck everyone all the time don't want to he tied down by a life-ruining kid. Abortions and morning-after pills and all that are free here unlike Trumpistan.

>>35813667
Hey Ed

>>35813598
I didn't have sex with the 15 year old, that's too young for me desu. 17 is the lowest I've ever gone. I could've gotten her pregnant because I never used a condom but luckily I didn't.
>>35813654
Nope. I met the 17 year olds mom and she was cool with it. Told the 15 year old I was too old for her. I would have felt like a predator going through with that

>>35812686
I definitely did not steal candies from a candy vending machine my vigorously shaking the knob basically giving it a handjob until it blew it's load like my classmates did in fourth grade.

>>35813680

>Unlike Trumpistan

Yeah here my worry is either expenses or jail or both, I don't really wanna fuck with any of it.

Where do you live?

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>>35812686
>Go to party I technically wasn't invited to because I knew some guys
>Girl I liked was so drunk she had to sit
>I talk to her for about a minute before she falls asleep/passes out
>Kiss her on the mouth and feel her up (she was a busty girl)
Kind of frustrated she passed out because she was flirting with me so I probably could've fucked her.

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>Stole 1200 pounds worth of Warhammer stuff from a games workshop with my friends when I was 15
>Lots and lots of underage drinking
I was an edgy kid

>using and selling class A drugs
>threw rocks and hit cops with a stick during protester
>driving without license
>shoplifting
>insulting police officers
>spray panting walls illegally

i saw gay people on the streets. may allah forgive me for not ending them.

>>35813772
around where do you live? i'm close in age to you (totally not underage mods haha yup) and it would be cool if we could talk over email or discord or something. doesn't have to be anything serious, it would just be nice to have a friend (theoretically) around my age. it's alright if you aren't interested though.

>>35812686

Bought/smoked weed.
Drove slightly buzzed.

I'm pretty milquetoast.

>>35813835
Typical edgy college liberal

I've looked at some possibly illegal pictures on my computer

>>35814010
Dont call me liberal please plus i'm not in college anymore

>>35814082
What were these pictures anon

>>35813164
If you happen to see them in the Philippines, you'd be able to do it yourself

>>35813815
>>Stole 1200 pounds worth of Warhammer stuff
You did good
GLORY TO THE EMPEROR

stole a pricey custom pc from a job.

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>>35813761
pic related.


Age of consent was actually 13 not too long ago, no bullshit 13 too not like "she can be 13 but you musn't be older than half her age minus your age gap multiplied by your astrological sign"

>>35812686

It's legal now, but I possessed a quarter of an ounce of marijuana.

>>35812686

Ate a candy from a store when I was 5 years old, got caught and the cashier started yelling at me until mommy saved me.

>>35814265

>fucking a 13 year old

What normal person would go that young?

Stalking. :( It isn't so bad. I'm a nice stalker.

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>>35814247
Thanks my dude
The dark angels I got served me well for a good few years

>>35813092
>Driving while drunk

Stop doing that, you stupid fuck. I don't give a shit about you, but you can seriously fuck other people's lives up or even end them that way.

>>35813249
Are you memeing or what?

>>35814311
Someone who literally just turned 18 like a day prior.

I mean have you seen 13 year olds these days? w h e w

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>>35812686
Sold LSD, shrooms, weed, oxy, alchohol, cigarettes, heroin, mdma, and paraphernalia.
Possession of all the above plus some other substances.
$100k+ of property damage during my teenage years.
Converting rifles to full auto.
Selling firearms without a licence.
Driving without a licence
Train hopping
Robbery
Unlawful entry
Crossing international borders illegally.
Transporting weed across international borders.
A bunch of other minor shit.
Only ever got caught tresspassing, and i was 12.
Literally no criminal record at all.

>>35814497

I have and they're not attractive at all, that shits way too young. At youngest I'd go 17

I used to steal shit and money from friend's parent's houses. I poop on people's car hoods sometimes and pee on random stuff at night. Narcotics possession. Recorded girls changing clothes without their consent. Can't think of anything else

>>35814541

Fucking norman get out. Why do you come here, you dont belong.

>underage drinking
>underage weed smoking
>borderline raping my cousin

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>>35814541
>seventeen

10 burgerclaps for you my friend, also people shouldn't be allowed to drink until they're 37 years old

>>35812686
Got a few, not sure what was the most illegal.
>Bought and distrubuted large quantities of weed and coke. Would be around 12kg of weed total and 400g coke.
>Same as OP, fucked a 15 yo (age of consent 16) she lied and said she was 17. I was 22 at the time.
>Beat the shit out of a coke/heroin dealer with a baseball bat to steal his days earnings and his leftover drugs. The booty contained 2,3k cash. 17,5 gr of heroin and 11gr coke.
>Exchanged around 2200 euros of fake 50euro bills in different shops/market places.

That are the 4 worst things I did.

>>35814789

Nah there shouldn't be any rules on drinking for the most part except for drunk driving

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I purchased a fancy goose at safeway with my EBT, returned it,got cashback. then i purchased Garden soil at Home depot with the cash

>>35812686
Yesterday I broke into somebodys garage and stole two guns and 70 USD

>>35813092
I would kill you. If I saw you driving drunk I'd run you off the road and leave you for dead.

ordered a small cup at cafe rio, grabbed a large and got away with it

>>35816264
SOMEBODY STOP ME
original post do not reproduce

>>35812686
drove 120 in a fucking dodge avenger. somehow escaped police when I quickly drove into an apartment complex at 3am and lost them. driving fast is the shit.. of course until I die that is

>>35813767
y no rape anon?

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>>35812686
I stole some M&M's from a gas station when i was 6

>underage drinking
>underage smoking
>spray painting walls
i miss being 15

>Lots of drunk driving offenses
>Lots of driving under the influence of other substances
>Failing to stop for an accident
>Driving with a suspended license
>Destruction of property
>Reckless driving
>Destruction of property
>Various drug offenses
>Failing to report a death
>Small time theft
>Drunk and disorderly
>Some other mostly harmless shit

I don't know what you think is the worst. Just take your pick.

Not illegal, but probably the worst thing I've done is watch a dude die without getting help. We were the only two at an outdoor track. I see him lie down, passed him several times and just ignored him. Left after about 20 minutes. Turns out he had a heart attack.

>>35812686
Went 132mph in my ford focus downhill.

Speed limit was 55.

I'm a serial jaywalker
I'm a monster. SOCIETY MADE ME THIS WAAAAAAYYYYYYYY

I crossdress but I'm not a tranny

SOMEBODY STOP THIS MADMAN

>>35812686
>tried to kill the queen of england
>charged with conspiracy and some stuff i forgot
>travel to usa years later
>got caught trying to "infiltrate" the white house

Trespassing, drinking back when I was underaged, Internet piracy, and speeding.

Nothing exciting at all. I imagine it would be hard to find someone who hasn't done any of those things.

>>35812686
How have you not been banned yet? This immediately breaks global rule #1.

I've solicited a prostitute four times.

>>35812686
shoplifting. A lot of shoplifting.
I also drunk a lot of alcohol before age 21 but that's actually pretty normal in america anyway

>>35818758
I bet you were the hall monitor in school.

>>35812686
I robbed the Rothschilds

>>35819946
I fucked the Judds

Smoked weed before it became legal. Pirated a ton of games/music/movies/TV shows.

That's pretty much it

>>35812686
>watched porn when I wasn't 18 yet
>age for watching porn is 18
>clicked on the "yes I am 18 button"

>>35814311
old enough to bleed, old enough to breed.
oregano

I kicked a duck up the ass.

>>35813835
Holy shit get a look at this faggot