Bored psychiatrist here, why don't you let it all out here

Had an awful spice trip and i still believe i haven't fully came back after 5 months

Is this all in my mind or? (otherwise im a normal functioning person with no problems)

>psychiatrist
>this is my job
no your job is to hawk medication

File: sehy.jpg (35KB, 499x603px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 499x603px

>can't remember the last serious conversation I've had with anybody
>everything I say I try to turn into a joke
>don't know how to even open up to someone

>>35807021
I need some help but I want proof you're a psychiatrist before I tell you anything.

>>35807160
that is pretty much everyone here Mr.SnowFlake

>>35807021
my self esteem is in the pits. fat face, weak chin, stupid, uneven nostrils. don't have any motivation to do anything. suicide was an excuse not to live.

i had a dream that said it all.

jack reacher was beating the shit out of me with a desk in the middle of a park, and when i got away from him maggots were swarming all over me, from a discarded carryout order in a paper bag.

File: 1480201047597.jpg (16KB, 500x400px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 500x400px

>>35807021
Fuck you, buddy.
I ain't telling you shit.

>I've lost all my friends because of me being a absolutist.
>All those who loved me leave me
>I can't stop hating everyone and everything
>The only reason I haven't blown my brains out on Livestream is because I'll be stuck doing I ove and over in hell

File: Nothing really mattress.jpg (31KB, 400x300px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 400x300px

>>35807021
>Bored psychiatrist here, why don't you let it all out here and tell me about yourself and why you're here?

You do Inpatient or outpatient?

Anyways, here goes. 40-year old virgin, Asian male. Finally got my shit together in my 30's as a non-trad and now grinding my way through residency.

Burning out though -- not really feeling depressed mood, not really in any emotional distress Just not functioning well, very anhedonic. Long history of MDD, but this feels different.

Also a bit lonely, but the feeling is kind of distant, much more so than in the past. Ironically, I'm closer to getting a girlfriend than ever before, but I just can't seem to make the jump. Like the girls I meet just don't seem "good enough", even though I would have killed to have opportunities with the kind of girls who are interested in me now.

Would appreciate any insight you have, not sure where I go from here.

File: Rakka1.jpg (42KB, 704x396px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 704x396px

>>35807142
I don't know, can you tell me more?

>>35807160
That's common with people that bottle up their emotions, do you have anybody to open up with?

>>35807183
I'm staying anonymous, sorry.

>>35807260
Inpatient. Have you contemplated that you're afraid of getting in a relationship altogether, and the feeling is only getting exemplified by the fact that you could get in one now seriously? This could potentially be why you think they're not good enough in your eyes.

File: wtf2.jpg (55KB, 490x490px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 490x490px

>>35807021

Can you become my psychiatrist waifu?
Thanks.

>>35807387
I'm a man, sorry. But I can talk to you if you'd like!

>>35807021
Psychiatry is a meme. Talking about my problems won't solve them, if that were the case I'd be cured already. You just want my money. You don't really want to help me, faggot scum.

>>35807021
>hallucinations
>can't talk or think when not on antipsychotics
>think people can read my mind when not on antipsychotics
>scared that everyone near me will try to hurt me
>huge social anxiety
>depressed af
>used to self harm
>mood can drastically change in seconds
>poor hygiene
>trouble sleeping
>sometimes it's so hard to fall asleep that not even nonbenzodiazepine help

>>35807021
Why are all psychiatrists fucked up in the head themselves?

>>35807203
(you)ing myself

get off the internet you fucking faggot

>>35807021
>Bored psychiatrist here, i'm here to tell you the same bs solution you've heard 1000x before

ftfy

File: 1484352159732.jpg (47KB, 500x390px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 500x390px

>>35807525
you can't make me

hahaha

>>35807373
>Inpatient. Have you contemplated that you're afraid of getting in a relationship altogether, and the feeling is only getting exemplified by the fact that you could get in one now seriously?
Yes. I figure I'm actually now in a position to actually make decisions about relationships, when in the past I was a noGF recluse, so the question was kind of academic.

>This could potentially be why you think they're not good enough in your eyes.
I felt rather bad about using the phrase "not good enough". I should clarify that I don't consider myself hot shit or anything, and some of them are really quite high quality, being inteligent, well-educated, accomplished. But it's accurate in a way -- if I were younger I might have some chances to explore and develop, but I'm at the age where I only have a few chances to get it right, and the girls (er, women) really expect you to make a decision quickly and commit quickly. So I find myself seeking the perfect candidate, because I feel like I won't have a second chance, and I don't want to hurt both her and myself by developing a relationship that doesn't lead to long-term commitment.

One big problem is children. I really like children and want a family, and so do the women -- that sounds like a perfect match, right? But it isn't, because most of the women who I meet are aging out of their fertile years.

>no motivation to do anything except drink alcohol, use drugs, browse the internet and sleep
>can't trust anybody - automatically assume people are just lying to me or trying to manipulate me to gain something
>get scared to do anything that involves me leaving my house (unless its to buy alcohol)
>go from out of this world happy to cataclysmically depressed multiple times a day
>abuse any alcohol and drugs i can get my hands on
>feel that there is no meaning in my life and im too crushed by the lack of meaning to go and find it or create it for myself
>feel like suicide is just an inevitablity in my life, kind of like taking my own is my destiny and im just counting down the clock

>>35807021
I have depression, hypochondria, paranoia, Deprecorophobia, insomnia, and sometimes anxiety

i smoke cigarettes, rarely use alcohol, rarely use weed, however like this anon >>35807142 , i smoked spice, however, i didn't know it was spice, i thought it was weed, it was one of the scariest things that has ever happened to me, and i'm 50% sure it fucked me up mentally

i spent 3 weeks in a mental hospital due to self harm

>>35807373
@spice trip

Got high as fuck and i lost my shit that night, started believing that i was going to die or end up with brain damage, somehow i got home and fell asleep after praying for like 30 minutes(note: im an atheist).

woke up the next day after about 16 hours of sleep without feeling disabled nor noticing any disabilities. however that's when the shit started, i guess i was looking for signs that i had brain damage for the most time being awake, if i'd notice something weird i'd google it and see if i could link it to spice, this went on for around 2-3 months?

Also, for the first few days i felt strongly dissociated, and following the next 2 months i felt like something was off, i was anxious and depressed and i believed i was close to dying.

Went to a psychiatrist and she gave me 10mg Escitalopram and 15mg buspirone daily, i guess after that things came back to normal, but i still feel like that trip changed me forever

File: haibane-renmei-600-207687.jpg (90KB, 600x378px) Image search: [Google]

90KB, 600x378px

>>35807021
In your opinion, what is the message of Haibane Renmei?

I can't stop wanting to be a child again and I think /r9k/ would be the best place here to talk about sadness like that.

>>35807849
i feel you bro :( (im this anon >>35807802) spice literally needs to be banned everywhere, it's such a small drug almost like no one hears about and like you never hear about it in MSM, or even media in general for that matter and it can really fuck you up long term

I feel like I'm afraid of success. Not that I've achieved anything lately, but when opportunities come by, I feel like I subconsciously avoid working towards them. I think self sabotage is the term. Why do I feel this way and how do I stop doing this to myself? I don't want "me" to be like this anymore.

>>35807021
I am suicidal over not looking like a cute girl

>>35807373
Of course I don't have anybody to fuckin open up to, all I have are feels threads on this board, and even then it's only greentext

>>35807021
I like being somewhere do discuss things anonymously

the real question is why people think being here at all is the strange thing to begin with

>>35808056
I'm like you, but I actually have someone.
And that someone gets sad because she thinks I'm not willing to open myself because I don't trust her

>>35807021
>>35807021
>>35807021
>God syndrome
>Hate everyone around me beside myself and a couple of others
>Hear voices for a couple of years
>Parents weren't absent but i wanted them to
>Closet fag

Are you still there, psycho-san?

>>35808586

We were probably too boring for him, and he left.

>>35808656
If he was expecting something good out of this shithole then he doesn't deserve his title

My mom just yelled at one of her friends at the door (told her to fuck off because she's tired and stuff) and I enjoyed it very much even though her friend is usually very nice to us. What's wrong with me Mr. Psycho? No, I'm not attracted to either of them.

is it more likely that a narcissist would cheat on you if they say they wont or will make it a point not to? a boy.

File: wario being borned.png (87KB, 1000x920px) Image search: [Google]

87KB, 1000x920px

i'm hacking up gallons of blood and bile and there's a searing, penetrating pain in my right lung

how do i treat this form of narcissism

>>35807782
That makes two of us, anon

ravioli ravioli give me the origioli

what do you think about melfi in sopranos?

does having studied psychology benefit you in your everyday life?

I just got diagnosed with Bipolar II, you think I can function without meds? The lows suck and my highs might make people think I'm an autist, but meds in the past made me feel like a didn't have emotions. Is it manageable if I just do CBT and mindfulness DBT without meds?

File: Rakka3.jpg (259KB, 800x600px) Image search: [Google]

259KB, 800x600px

Sorry for the late response, I was busy talking with a surprise patient on the phone. I'm at home on Sunday and usually have the whole day to myself.

>>35807436
I'm doing this for free out of my own free time.

>>35807478
You should get that checked out, talking to me won't solve your issues until you have medicine and a clear state of thought.

>>35807499
I'd say most psychiatrists are somewhat messed up, they learn so much to learn more about themselves and their own issues. Becoming a psychiatrist helped me fix my own issues.

>>35807734
I think you explained it well yourself then, you're looking for a long-term relationship and you don't want to mess it up. Once you get to that age you need something stable. How many children are you ideally seeking? Most women are aging out of their fertile years, usually late 30s and early 40s. If your goal is a family, you'll need to go younger.

>>35807782
That's severe depression and anxiety, do you take meds? I hate to throw around medication so casually, but if you truly feel this way you should think about it.

>>35807802
>>35807849
That's something that concomitantly happens when you do spice to some people, this is why you're able to relate and have similar experiences. However now that you're aware of the dangers, you should stick away. You're both aware now.

>>35807854
The message is very close to what most people here deal with, from what I can understand. Fragile people thrown in a scary unknown world, forced to learn to find happiness but are scared and can never seem to find it. It's only when Rakka truly struggles to enlighten herself that she finds her way.

>>35807960
You're scared of leaving your comfort zone, that's why you think like this. This is fairly common, most people would rather stay stagnant then pursue. The next time an opportunity shows up, think about all the positive things related that it'd give you and try to shut out the negative ones.

Will cont. in a second with more people

I STARTED TAKING MY TRINTELLIX AGAIN AND IT'S MAKING ME SHIT WATER INSTEAD OF JUST STOMACH UPSET
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

File: Haibane 4.jpg (361KB, 1436x2131px) Image search: [Google]

361KB, 1436x2131px

>>35808056
You'll have to face yourself, it's a lot easier to put up a facade and bottle up your emotions. You have to be honest with yourself, and you need to tell this to a real human being not me on 4chan. This is extremely important for your mental health, you can go to a support group if you can't find a trustworthy friend to talk to.

>>35808372
Were you always like this anon, or did you grow up like this?

>>35808656
>>35808586
Still here, sorry. Like I said in my earlier post I was busy.

>>35808839
Do you have any previous similar experiences?

>>35809012
Dunno, depends on the personality of the person. I can't really say unfortunately.

>>35809069
Go to a hospital please

>>35809220
Don't know her, but psychology helped me understand and get past my trauma as a child.

>>35810235
>Do you have any previous similar experiences?
Yeah I guess, seeing her explode and shitting on other people always excite me. Not only with her though, I enjoy those moments no matter the people involved in it. I guess I kinda like seeing people get hurt sometimes. I'm a really emotional person and I don't want to be like this Mr. Psycho.

>>35810235
I believe everyone will die and go to heaven apart from me

>>35807733
jack-and-jill.jpg

>>35807021
I've been pretty much taking care of all the responsibilities in the relationship and it's been hurting my SO; making them feel useless. Any time I try to drop any responsibility to them tho, regardless of what it is, they stress out and get really frustrated very fast. What's the winning move here?

>calls himself a psychiatrist
>doesn't comment or suggest medication; only general psychological advice
Fuck off you retard RPing psych major cuckold.

>>35810601
Psych student here. Your relationship is only salvageable if the girl gets some classes on how to cope with stress and frustration to turn it into productivity. Suggest that to her.

>>35810711
Is there anything I can do myself with them? I'm the only one they feel comfortable with.

File: download (1).jpg (14KB, 225x225px) Image search: [Google]

14KB, 225x225px

>>35810750
Take the classes with them. Maybe take a relationship class together. Either way, she needs those classes on coping with stress and frustration if you really want this relationship to last. if she doesn't want to take them then she clearly doesn't really give a shit about how much she provides. That's my opinion on the matter at least.

>>35810791
I mean I don't mind what I do, but I don't want it affecting them that way. We're just not that well off financially to be taking classes.

Also I'm the girl lol

>>35807021
I'm 19, take one college class, and have no interest in getting another job. The jobs that I have had lasted less than half a year. I'm very lazy and undisciplined but I'm unable/unwilling to change and I don't mind. Thoughts?

>>35810889
Try picking up a different hobby that can make money on the side. Like knitting, or haircutting. That way you can make some money to provide more responsibility and help with the situation at hand in your relationship in best case. Worst case you'll have a new hobby that takes up some money when you wanna do it.

File: kazuma.png (47KB, 248x216px) Image search: [Google]

47KB, 248x216px

>>35810927
Get a job anyway and play vidya games with your free money. If you're unwilling to change you won't, so at least do something productive so you don't die on the streets.

>>35810969
I'm not the one that needs more responsibility, I'm the one taking care of everything. I might bring up something like that to him to knock two birds with one stone.

>>35807021
How can I get a girlfriend that's a virgin and as reserved as me?

>>35811005
Working is stressful and the only job where I've come close to satisfying my boss was at a retail job. Generally speaking I don't satisfy my bosses even when I'm trying my best.

File: anger.jpg (8KB, 236x236px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 236x236px

>>35807021
everything is so fucked it's never going to be better, if it got better I would immediately burnt it to the ground; it's always been shit, I'm shit, why any of this nonsense?

fuck me running

>>35807021
Please analyze OP >>35810372

>>35807145
>no your job is to hawk medication
This
Psychiatrists are scum

>>35807021
What sort of problems do normies have? Like what sort of things do you hear on a daily basis?

Also how do I talk to you guys normally and report symptoms honestly without sounding like a paranoid internetchild?

I see a psychiatrist/cpn/therapist and have trouble talking to all 3 because I don't want to be the lowest functioning person they'll see all day, though I probably am.

(abused by parents, raped at 15, homeless at 16, probably autistic, anxious/depressed for years, still can't sleep thinking about parents/rape, constant intrusive memories, age 22 and think I'll an hero before my personality disorders form at 25, but have dream of being loved and going to uni one day. help)

File: me.png (44KB, 304x148px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 304x148px

>>35811107
The point isn't to be happy with your job. It's to make money and survive so you can do what you actually do give somewhat of a damn about. As long as you can keep a job and keep working at it you'll eventually get a pay raise and can keep living. Give up trying to live luxurious, settle for a low class lifestyle that's comfy.

>>35807021

Sup psychiatrist. General practitioner here.

I'm a KV wizard because I have deformed jaws and a horrible hairline plus I'm short (ie. short and ugly) and I had a lot of health problems for my first 33 years of life.

I take mirtazapine 15 mg qhs just for my chronic insomnia (which is partly due to muscle spasms that make relaxing hard) and it helps mildly with the depression of my life.

I'm planning some surgeries to become better looking. ie. revision jaw surgery, hair surgery. But by the time I'm done that I'll be in my late 30s.

My question is this: What would you suggest I do about my KV wizard status? Options as I see it are:

- buy a hooker
- buy a sugar baby
- hit on hundreds of girls to find one who tolerates me and isn't obese (hard on the already poor self esteem)
- wait to become better looking and try again in a few years

I also have a smaller than average penis and low physical endurance due to my health problems so I don't expect to be "good" at it.

Anyway, just doctor to doctor wondering if you have any advice. Can't really talk to anyone about this stuff IRL.

>>35811076
just get him to get a new hobby that can make money and talk him into classes.

>>35811222
Reporting symptoms isn't too hard actually So long as you gush to us how you're feeling we can generally understand what you're symptons become. Just tell us what made you anxious etc and we do our best to help.
As for normie probs: From my knowledge so far, constant issues with depression and relationship issues.

The prospect of having a romantic relationship seems completely and utterly impossible, I simply have no idea how to approach people and with every year that goes by the gap in social ability between me and other people only widens.

File: image.jpg (77KB, 640x552px) Image search: [Google]

77KB, 640x552px

>>35807021
>animeme
you are just yet another attentionwhore

>>35811371
Behavioural and psycho therapy. Take classes for behavioral rehabilitation so you can become a normie for the most part. Psychotherapy to fill you with the sense Relationships are possible as long as you work hard to get and keep one.
After that just keep trying at social interaction and eventually you'll find someone. Maybe.

emotional fuckeroni shutin who wants to vent and find people who are relatable in the kind of sadness they have. Simple as that

File: kek.jpg (31KB, 960x639px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 960x639px

>>35807021
want to fuck my aunt

sometimes have this fantasy where i'm flown into this island of feral women that i have to chase down and rape. basically vision me chasing a girl who is running fast from me but i grab her and put my legs in front to bring her toppling down then i get her.

cant make friends nor get a job for some reason. really low tolerance to failure (like i dgaf if i fail) but if i have plans to do something and they become hindered i just shut down completely cant fucking act on my feet and adapt.

File: 17098583_708698779299860_5883594849287652185_n.jpg (22KB, 480x525px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 480x525px

>>35811420
Diagnosis: Browse 4chan all day.

File: 8241.jpg (58KB, 250x350px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 250x350px

>>35811435
Didn't need to know about the dream and how you want to fuck your aunt. As for making friends or getting a job, all there is to it is social interaction and constant applying for jobs. As for when you shut down, all i can think of for that problem is therapy treatment for coping.

>>35811438
fuck off aqua

>>35811397
he is worse than normal attentionwhore, avatarfag
he is so huge faggot that trip or name is not enough.

>>35811271

OP are you actually a psychiatrist?

Are you going to just ignore my post because it's not as easy as "do CBT, take SSRIs"?

File: 1489979385261.png (918KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

918KB, 1920x1080px

Still the psyche student here providing advice but here's my problem for OP
>>35807021
I have constant social anxiety whenever i'm placed in a non contained situation wtihin an area i'm not familiar with. As such i freeze up and start to cry when i can't think of what to talk about. What should i do? i'm already taking behavioural classes for this problem but they don't seem to be working for me for the most part yet.

>>35811603

If you've been the one here providing advice, then what makes you think OP is even still here?

>>35811603

Also, as a G.P. I can give you simple advice on that. Try a beta blocker as needed like propranolol 10-40 mg (you'll have to adjust the dose to effect) 30-60 minutes before a provoking situation.

Easy fix.

>>35811271
I feel like you already have most of your problems sorted out here other than self esteem issues. Sex isn't just about being good, way i see it. Get a girl you actually give a damn about, get rid of the KV wizard status with her. I'm the same situation almost, being KV but not quite a wizard yet. 20

>>35811247
But that's the attitude that I've always had, that the job's purpose was to make money that I could spend for myself. I've always tried to do exactly what I needed to get done. Despite that I make mistakes and my bosses complain about it. So I try to take it slower so I make less mistakes and they complain about that too. I wind up getting my hours cut and/or fired. A job I had last year just straight up stopped scheduling me and didn't give an explanation. The only time this didn't happen was with the retail job I mentioned earlier, I didn't try with that one because I knew it was going to be short term anyway.

File: 1456850523378.jpg (44KB, 438x720px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 438x720px

I'm having a bad day and I'm fucking lonely.
I try to do everything right, and yet it feels like there's some barrier between me and where I want to be, that I can't cross.
Sometimes I feel bad about my self image. Gays, older women, and my mom tell me I'm attractive, but I don't feel wanted by the kind of girls that I want. I don't feel wanted, and I'm growing older, and soon I'll be in my 30s.
I work out and try to eat healthy, try to stay employed, get the best job I can, develop artistic talents, get out of the house and go to events.
Not today. I'm staying in, doing nothing, posting online and drinking shitty economy wine.
I'm afraid to talk to the kind of girls I'm attracted to because I'm afraid I won't have anything to say that they will understand.
My faggot roommates wouldn't come with me to the weeb convention yesterday. I wanted to go out and do something interesting and meet people, but my roommate just wanted to stay home and play vidya with his new gf.
Only a few weeks ago, he was constantly having suicidal outbursts about being foreveralone and not having a gf in over 10 years, since he was in his teens, and I was the shoulder for him to cry on. Now, when I'm obviously having a shitty day, he ignores me.
I'm conscious of the fact that it's a selfish way of thinking, something that I need to fight, but sometimes I wish I wasn't always the one who didn't have to try and reach out to other people. That maybe someone else would go out of their way to talk to me for once.

>>35811271
have you considered suicide?

seriously doesn't take a psychiatrist to know that you just need to end it you loser.

>>35807021
It's my only escape from an anhedonic life that I lack the discipline to change, and isn't giving me that discipline soon.

>>35811668

You're a 20 year old kid who has no idea how hard it is to find a girl "who cares about you" when you're a short ugly wizard.

I'm not fucking fatties and they're the only ones interested.

My self esteem is not nearly as big a problem as being physically unattractive. Being physically unattractive (bottom 3%) is what caused the self esteem issues.

>>35811654
I'll talk to my doctors about propranolol being added to my prescriptions then. Thanks for the advice.

File: one-million-years-b-c-raquel-welch-1966.jpg (61KB, 366x488px) Image search: [Google]

61KB, 366x488px

>>35811435
>chasing and raping feral women in the middle of a jungle
wtf that is my fantasy

>>35811696

That's not going to accomplish anything worthwhile. I'm going to die no matter what I do. That eventuality is already predetermined. There is no particular rush.

I'm trying to change and fix what happens before that inevitable endpoint.

>>35811669
I'm not sure how i can help you with any more advice then. Life's cruel like this man. Just learn the key to speed and efficiency through years of practice with jobs i guess.

>>35811719

For reference what else do you take?

>>35811747
So I won't be able to hold down a job for years just because of my lack of practice, which I'm not given because it's hard for me to land a job in the first place?

>>35811634
lol good point. OP prob ditched after i showed up.

>>35811776

What do you think is the fundamental problem? Are you dumb? Attention deficit?

>>35811776
welcome to capitalism and the job market in general. Blame baby boomers.

Last night I got the urge to cut but I ended up masturbating instead, is that a good sign?

File: Haibane Renmei 5.jpg (88KB, 736x705px) Image search: [Google]

88KB, 736x705px

>>35811782
>>35811634
Sorry guys, OP here. I'm unexpectedly busy today, I just wanted to stop in and tell you I didn't abandon ship because of anybody here. I'll make sure to reserve a day to chat with all you anons! I'll tripfag as Psycho-san so you know it's me, sorry again!

>>35810637
You can't call yourself a real psychiatrist if all you do is suggest medication, I commented it one time and that's only because it seems like the one anon tried everything he could. There's a lot of medication that'll make you insane, it shouldn't be the go to solution for things that some people can potentially solve without.

>>35807021
why are doctors such a pain in the ass to deal with?

so many of them don't really listen to what I say and instead imagine their own bullshit, seem absent minded when I'm talking to them

then when I'm trying to not be an idiot and describe what I have clearly so many of them react negatively to it

My family doctor is a cool guy, he treats you like I described when he notices that you're just saying something and have not really thought about it, but since I make a list of things to say and describe everything to the best of my wikipedia knowledge (describing symptoms mostly, not making my own diagnoses, or only as a weak sidenote at the end) he really listens to me and takes me seriously, he even educates me a bit when I get something wrong

but every other doctor just gets angry, thinks I'm being somehow arrogant or something and will insist I play dumb with him, as if saying 'yeah I have tension-headache' is such a big deal. one even said to me I should stop reading wikipedia and describe it all on a very stupid level to him, as if this doesn't affect the discourse when I'm clearly already thinking of tension-headache

I know they are busy people, but I just don't get this, can they not just talk normally with me and ask for clarification when they think I'm saying dumb shit

Working out in November Bulged a disc carrying cement for job. I am still in pain I've been to pt got a spine epidural. Nothings working I'm going to kill myself in August if it's not better.

>>35812270
My doctor doesn't believe my tibias being rotated is a big deal.. Even though I have constantly pain just take pain killers!!

>>35807021
Nothing really terrible. I have explosive rage but I have full control over when and how it explodes now. I'm usually quite calm. My current worries are on my family since my dad never learned how to reign in his own anger despite taking anger management and any small bits of advice I give him seem to bounce off. He's very forgetful and negative and my stepmother (his wife) doesn't help. She's been ignoring him for 6 months because he mentioned divorce at one point and he has grown irate due to dealing with his side of the family being insane (especially his sister that rants and raves similarly to him). She has high blood pressure and cannot physically handle any more stress at the time while dad is ranting more and more about finding another place to live, cleaning the bank and getting a divorce. I advise them to handle it and how they can resolve it but neither party wants to chill.

I'm here because I want a distraction from my failed attempts, even while dad raises his voice on the phone as I type this. I can hear him even when I blast loud music with earbuds. I know this isn't "my problem" to solve but it's going to affect me and my half-brother if they split up. It's a problem that has been going on for years and it is very similar in behavior to his prior marriage (him and my mom), where the wife ignores him, makes him move his stuff to his limited room space/the attic, and all the other stereotypical things that happen in a bad marriage where the wife spends a lot, is allowed too much power and the father is a high source of income.

I grow very weary of his negativity. Even /r9k/ is less negative than my father, because I can at least dismiss some things are shitposting. Even when I am alone with him to spend quality time, he rants and raves, I'm tempted to just jam my earbuds in. He goes on about my mom ruined his life, what a bitch she was, how she denied him sex by water-jacking, spent all the money on scratch-off tickets.

>>35807021
What are the long term effects of SSRIs and SNRIs?

Also, would SNDRIs have superior efficacity compared to SSRI/SNRIs?

SSRIs wise, is Sertraline the god of them?

Also, which meds help the most with social anxiety?

>>35812373
he thinks you just want opiates

you'll have to somehow convince him the pain is real, maybe tell him you already did paracetamol and ibuprofen and it doesn't really help, but you're not seeking for a drug solution if possible or some such. of course only say it if it is true

that wasn't really relevant to my question

>>35812535
(cont.)
I know my one solution is most likely to get my shit together and get away from my family, but I have a few problems. I have no job, I have no experience, all I have is an associate's degree in accounting. I'm betting on that to at least help me get started. As much as I would like to live in a family unit, they affect me negatively. I've been having more trouble restraining my rage and have resorted to mentally smashing their noses in. I'm pretty sure all I can do is hold out with my distractions and efforts to (eventually) stray from them.

File: bb4afe57ac470527842afee44f50b96e.jpg (114KB, 675x900px) Image search: [Google]

114KB, 675x900px

>>35807021
I'm a sick fuck and it aint my fault, all I ever did was mind to my own and do what I do. I never hurt no one and for some fuckin reason everyones shit has to fall down onto me.

All these fuckers do is god damn push me and I'm soooooo off my shit. I fingered and fucked my dog the other day and I liked it, 3 years ago I would have never done that or even thought of it.
I also never felt the need to light shit up or smash glass because I like how it sounds, or think of myself dead on as an anthropromorpic animal that ought to be skinned.

And I keep recessing further and further into these sick ass thoughts. Whats even crazier though is how ive walked away from some shit,
I crashed my car going 55-60mph THROUH A 16'' CEDAR TREE and I couldent be granted the courtesy to fucking die already, I WALKED AWAY A-OK.
2 years ago I survive a botched heart surgery, not enough sleepy gas so I woke mid way, panicked and hemoreged. it was like my heart exploded and I got the HD FUCKING experience.

i lost my job, have no money, no car, and my tax return is chump change because i have to pay FUCKIN DEBT.
I'm trying to move out of this madhouse I'm livin in before i wind up torchin it, and alllll i fucking want is to go home. i want to go back to before this shit all started and pretend this never happened.
I want to sleep without the nightmares of hell i keep getting. I'm fuckin atheist, like WTF. my sisters prego bc shes a total fucking ho and idgaf about that either.

I'm so hurt and no one give a shit, no one even sees it, my friends are states away and i got no one to talk to. i don't expect to either, people are only in it for themselves to them I'm just bitchin.
when i relax, my ''chill time'' is listening to 90s and 80s through backs while i drink and browse bestgore and ths stupid ass site.. at least if I'm not fuckin my dog RIGHT.

man fuck everything idgaf anymore. all i want is some damn progres. didn't relize it took a miracle.

and yeah my spelling sucks

File: d928967f5a58edc15455426209bafa11.jpg (97KB, 640x428px) Image search: [Google]

97KB, 640x428px

>>35807021
I've never opened up or had a meaningful conversation with anyone, not even my parents. I feel like a stranger to everyone.
I don't remember having ever felt happiness or sadness in my life. The only two emotions I know are anxiety and laughter.
Love and sexual desire are just foreign ideas to me. I'd like to have someone I care about, but I know I can't.
I dont' have any motivation to do anything that requires effort. I feel nonplused about everything. Sometimes I try to care, but it just makes me feel anxious so I choose not to.
I get the urge to kill myself whenever I get anxious, so I avoid it as much as possible. I'm just choosing to stay comfy and not care about anything until everything inevitably falls apart.

I feel like a robot someone tried to build but they just stopped half-way through. I'm an empty shell, I can think and move but that's it.

>>35808372
>>35810235
Not even sure anymore some memories of the past indicate a certain alteration from what i remember, remembering back to my childhood i din't change at all

File: KnaveSmig1.png (245KB, 2076x628px) Image search: [Google]

245KB, 2076x628px

I came here because I heard about Adam Lanza threads here, and I just never left because people occasionally talk about mass shooters, and that is my biggest interest.

Also, if I could sacrifice 100 people on this board to bring Adam Lanza back, I would. You're all terrible people.

>>35807414
I know you're a man, catch the hint.

;D

How does a person keep living on when the only point seems to be observation and logical deduction. I've detached myself from all emotional feelings towards others and of all material needs so that there's nothing to stress about. I've pledged myself to never lie and minimize any harm I might cause to others so conscience won't get in the way.I've pledged to never lie (though I allow myself to remain silent) no matter the consequences. I've pledged to never allow outside substances to affect my state of mind. I've basically reprogrammed myself to only accept reason.
My only wish is to get rid of my physical body which is a burden to the planet.