>Found out at age 17 that you're meant to shower more

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>>35806229
holy kek, how did you masturbate?

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>>35806252
I didn't retract my foreskin until I was 19 and I masturbated everyday since I was 11. It was pretty smelly under there. I'd do anything to experience the sensitivity of that shower again.

>>35806252
I learned at age 5 that humping the bed made my penis tingle.

>>35806290
you're lucky you didn't contract something

>>35806290
>is a reject in school
>finds out why at age 17
thats not retard mode, you probably shoulda died from an infectious disease

>>35806290
Bet it tasted amazing. I remember my first pull back at 17 I was able to scrap a thick ring of smeg from below my helmet. Delicious.

I didn't physically wash my butthole in the shower until age 20. Washed everything else but between my asscheeks.

>>35806229
found out at 21 that everyone thinks im weird and its not because i dont branch out

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>>35806229
I started showering more than once a week at about 14 or so I think.
I only learned about foreskin retraction at about 17 or something, I'm 18 now. I never masturbated.

>>35806229
>found out at 20 that my actions at 13-18 would affect me for life.
>found out at 18 that girls aren't in high supply or available, at least the good ones.
>found out at 22 that showering twice a day isn't really that important if you never leave your flat for anything except groceries/alcohol.

>>35806296

>tfw 19 and still do this instead of wanking

>>35806876
It's not actually good for you, it can bend your dick out of shape and compress your urethra

>>35806876
Me too. I know you're not supposed to, but it feels so good...

whats wrong with not showering?

i mean, i stink but not THAT bad.

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I didn't know that cum had a smell until 18
I would always just shoot it wherever and let it land, on my stomach, clothes, etc. I would jerk off before school, cum on my stomach, dry it out so there were no visible stains and then go to school like that. Even now that I know to cum into a tissue it doesn't matter because I've developed a cum fetish and love cumming on my own stomach and chest multiple times during the course of a night, lifting up my shirt and sticking my face into it to get a nice, thick inhale of that musky scent. I've become a fucking degenerate because I didn't know it had a smell, but now I can't get enough of it

>>35806374

You horrible fucking sod.

did you consider using a shoe box?

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>>35806229
>Did not know how to use a washing machine until I was 28

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>>35808916
This is just a meme, right? You're trying to ruse me into thinking cum has a smell. I've masturbated most days since I was 12, and I've never noticed a smell from it.

>>35806229
Apparently wiping your ass going through the front is not normal.
Apparently youre supposed to reach behind you and wipe.
Never knew.

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>found out at age 16 that girls don't piss through the asshole
>would probably still be ignorant about that now if not for idly scanning a page of a biology textbook one day

I was writing the number 1 backwards until i was 17

>>35806229
I didn't realiz I was supposed to be breathing through my nose all the time until like age 18 when a doctor told me.

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>>35809145
I-I don't know how to tell you this anon. I thought the exact same thing, I didn't realize until someone pulled me aside in senior year and told me about it.
Once I started community college a year later someone in my class started walking in reeking of cum, and I finally realized how I smelled all the time.
It's clear, clear as day, from halfway across a room sometimes. And the worst part is that "sex smell" differs from jerkoff smell if you get what I mean, I didn't realize that until it was explained to me by a nonvirgin friend of mine. Women can tell if you jerked off, or if other women have had sex with you recently if you hadn't showered since then. It's like pheremones

>>35809218
Are you a /chinlet/ now?

I was afraid of my dad smelling my cum so I ate it every time I fapped until I was 17

>>35806229
I used to shower daily. Now I only do it before I shave my butt (which I keep very clean with other methods). I haven't washed my hair since 2016 and bf says it doesn't smell like anything. Skin chills out and maintains a nice equilibrium on its own when not constantly stripped.

I learned how to properly fap when I was 18, I used to make like the 'ok' sign around my dick.

>>35806229
>>35806252
>>35806290
wait, it should retract? I thought the guys in porn were all circumcised...

Is it too late to try to fix it at 22 without circumcision?

>>35809609
I've never been able to get off with just a hand, not even with the best German-engineered lubricants. I've used a mains powered vibrator for most of my masturbation.

>>35809346
I don't believe this shit. I've always had cum tissues around when I lived at home and no one said shit. Now I jerk off in my room when I can't be bothered fucking my girlfriend and she doesn't say shit either.

But then again when I smoked weed with an ex I couldn't smell that shit either.

>>35806838
You can tell us more, Anon. What happened when you turned 20?

>>35806229

Yeah. But my life is such a blur at this point now that I forget how I was retarded before.

>>35806229
>shower once a week

I wash my hair every morning. Showers? Uhh...

Been so long that my legs are turning blue from the dye of the same pair of jeans I wear every single day.

Who /blue legs/ here?

Did anybody else have an alternate way of masturbation? When I was 8 I was sleeping over at a friends place and I turned on some late night TV. There were these ads for girls gone wild playing and I was getting aroused. So for some reason I thought to push my soft peen back up inside my crotch and stimulate it until I came. I did this shit until I was 15.

Not as embarrassing as some of the stuff in this thread but I bet I have all you fuckers beat.

I was 7 or 8 before I found out you're supposed to close your eyes to go to sleep.

>>35809881
I used to have a small beanie baby dog type thing that was filled with lightweight beans or something
I used to put my dick through the legs and jack off my dick with it while laying on my back. The bean filled legs would slap my balls, felt goodman

>Didn't figure out how to masturbate normally until I was 17.
>Before then I would give myself a wedgie until climax. Or Tie a rope around my balls and pull, it would hurt a lot at first, but if you kept pulling it would feel great.

>>35809881
This method also curved the fuck out of my cock and my dong doesn't extend to its full length.

I didn't know that I was supposed to pull my foreskin back until 16, couldn't jerk off normally until 17. I used to just hump a pillow until I came.

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who /showertwiceperday/ here?

mine are between half an hour and one hour

I like the warmth and I live in an apartment building with free utilities as part of the rent.

>>35809692
I thought the exact same thing as you.
>get a hot shower/bath
>let the hot water loosen it
>slowly pull it back
>don't force it too much but don't be a pussy

You can't carry on with it being the way it is.

>>35810088
Sometimes. I have awful hyperhydrosis, so I feel filthy almost all the time, just because my armpit are pouring sweat. Steaming myself half to death in the shower is the only reprieve.

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>didn't realise you're supposed to pull it back until age 21
I hate my phimosis.

>>35806374
I barfed in my fucking mouth

kys

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>>35810358
I'm 23 and still confused, you're supposed to pull back your foreskin? The fuck is this? Why haven't i found anything about this untill now?

>>35810358
How bad it is it? I didn't retract until I was 15 and my dick looks like a fucking anteater. I can retract all the way though.

>>35810117
okay so I just tried this.. after about 15 minutes of trying and pain it finally pulled back, but my dick was really sensitive - I mean I couldn't even spray water on it without flinching, let alone touch it. I don't suppose this is normal, how to overcome this?

>didn't masturbate until I was 18
>didn't know how to wash my own clothes until I was 24
>didn't shower regularly until I was 25

Theres being a late bloomer and then theres just being a retard

>>35810616
>until I was 15

*19

>>35810622
That's normal. You have to give it time to adjust to the world. just clean it thoroughly with lukewarm water. DON'T USE ANY SHOWER GEL OR SOAP. Now enjoy your new pen0r. It wall take a while for the sensitivity to wear off. you just have to give it time.

>guys who don't even know how to man their dicks

Holy fuck.

>>35809042

lmao just let your mom do it

>>35806229
>no idea what a foreskin looked like until high school, and only because I saw a diagram in a biology book
>still don't know what people are talking about by "pulling" and "retracting"
>no idea what a rotary was or that they even existed until age 19
>probably other things that I've since forgotten or have yet to realize

>>35810673
thanks anon, I really appreciate the advice

i knew that for a while. some people the smell differs some girls think it was disgusting others it was cool.

high school i barely took showers because of wow and video games.

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>>35810616
It looks something like this currently when I 'fully retract'

>>35811015
doesn't it hurt?.. never knew this was a thing untill today.. it blew my mind..

>>35810497
How about you "kys" my smegma coated mouth you tweet-speaking mouth-breather

>>35811015
Holy shit it looks like your dickhead is about to explode

>>35811015
That foreskin looks tight as fuck.

>>35811234
It is. You only have five minutes to diffuse it before it blows.

>>35811234
you really made me laugh anon, caught me way off guard

>tfw didnt retract foreskin when youngrr
>tfw the shower method or lotions dont work
>tfw will have to circumcised sometime in the future

Fuck life

>>35810780
>no idea what a rotary was or that they even existed until age 19
What is a rotary?

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>tfw cut at 7 when I was literally incapable of consenting to body modifications

>>35809829

sort of, i have blue feet where my jeans rub on them when i dont wear any socks

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>>35809740
iktf reeee
REEEEE EEEE REEEEE
WHY DOESN'T ANYONE EVER SAY I SMELL LIKE CUM AND WEED IF I DO
it's not that I would enjoy the call out but why hasn't anyone said anything for the years and years I must have reeked
IT WAS A CONSTANT STREAM OF SHIT ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE FUCK

fucking bump this gold thread

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>>35811799
this
what the fuck is a rotary?

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>>35812588
>>35811799

i think he means a rotary phone

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>>35806229
>Found out at age 17 that you're meant to shower more than once a week
FUCKING THIS
WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T MY PARENTS TELL ME ANYTHING ABOUT IT

>cried about literally everything until I was 17
>in public

Who else dick point to the left here?

right pointing fags get out

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>>35812820
Mine hooks around.
>less than 180 degree bend fags get out.

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I only found out at age 20 that I was American when I got my first passport.
Until then I'd always believed myself to be Chinese. Apparently when I was a little toddler I had a globe in my room and my parents kept finding me pushing my wiener into the chinese nation so they told me I was Chinese and never corrected me

Luckily it didnt hurt me too much but I didn't get a job until I was 22, probably because I had been putting 'Chinese' on my job applications

>found out what deodorant and shaving was at age 16

Jesus. My example of this isn't as bad as some of the ones in this thread, but I think it's part of what shaped me into being a robot:

>be 9th grade
>think it's normal to spend all day playing video games and assume a lot of kids are doing the same
>spend like 8 hours a day playing vidya, I remember a lot of it being TF2
>become the beta orbiter of the class Stacey
>10th grade
>one day she's telling me about drinking and having sex
>feel somewhat horrified, because I didn't realise my peers were doing things like that yet
>my child mind still feels like those things are too adult for me and I want nothing to do with it
>continue to play vidya, browse 4chan, watch anime, listen to music, and read books all day instead of doing social shit like the normies were.

It turned me into a cringey autist who couldn't make friends or get a girlfriend.

>>35812820
Me, Have you fucked anybody with it yet?