Why doesn't she like me, /r9k/? I don't think I'm

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>she just wants to be friend
it fucking done anon, you lost
cut contact or you will end up painfully orbiting her for years
move the fuck on

>>35797569

It's the autism and the oneitis. Smells like death to women.

>>35797569
>being "friends" with the opposite sex

what did you expect

>>35797569
Also, when I first met her I was a bit more weird/awkward back when I was a lot nerdier and didn't give a fuck about what people thought of me. But recently for the past year or so I've been trying hard to become more attractive, less awkward and whatnot. Does she still see me as who I was 2 years ago, as just some weird, awkward kid that she's friends with? I really think I've changed since then, I've made a lot of new friends, and feel like a completely different person. If anything I think it's my weight, but I'm determined to lose it. I've been eating only 1000 - 1200 calories on a low-carb high-fat diet for a little over two weeks now, and burning off 350 - 500 every day or two (some days I can't make it to the gym) just from working out and exercising. I'm normally never motivated for anything, but if it means getting even the slimmest chance of taking her out on a date, I will never stop exercising until I fucking drop.

>>35797743

None of this shit matters, you're just beta.
Stop trying to rationalize how to get her, you can't game the system. Ask her out and if she says no then move on. There's nothing else to do.
Basing your entire life around self-improvement solely to get a single date with some stupid meme bitch is the most beta shit I've ever heard.

>>35797723
I just feel like I'll never get the chance to have a girl that has the exact same interests as me and is still attractive to me. I don't want some random fucking thot. I talk to other girls too and am friends with her best friend and some of her other friends, so it's not like she's the only one I talk to.

>>35797802

>same interests as me

this is a meme. you need someone who is compatible, not someone who "shares muh interests."
Pro-tip - Compatibility involves mutual attraction.

>>35797777
I already asked her out and she wants us to remain friends, but friendships can change and develop, so it's worth a shot improving myself physically, hanging out with her more as friends, then eventually asking her out again. And if she rejects me again, then it will be clear that there's nothing I can do about it and that I should just move on. And plus, I'd hopefully end up getting gains and being fit, so even if I don't get her at least I would have done a lot to improve myself.

>>35797864
> t. beta orbiter about to waste years of his time

>>35797864

You're delusional.
She rejected you and now you've moved the goalposts to "well...she didn't reject me TWICE"

You sound borderline stalkerish. You aren't ready for a relationship. It has nothing to do with how much you work out. Your attitude is fucked up.

>>35797857
And part of comparability also involves common interests. And if I can become more attractive it would be worth a shot to ask her out again.

>>35797864
Sorry anon, but she's not interested. The 'let's stay friends' pitch means she doesn't want you as a partner.

Either:
>Stay friends, knowing it's going nowhere
or
>Cut contact and find other girls.

Good luck with your self improvement mate, lose that fat and keep the gym up.

>>35797914

Common interests have nothing to do with compatibility.
This is how I know you're autistic. A relationship isn't sitting around discussing Zelda or whatever fucking stupid shit you think will last a lifetime.

>>35797905
We were friends for a long time before I asked her out, how the fuck am I being stalkerish? You're saying that just because I got rejected I should throw away our friendship and act like I don't know her? Let me remind you, SHES the one that said she wants to hang out with me and likes me as a friend. So why would treating her like a friend be stalkerish?

>>35797947

Because she openly said no and you're entire idea of her revolves around gaming her to say yes. You sound like a shit friend.

>>35797935
Are you actually fucking retarded? Having common interests is a huge part of having a successful relationship. And I know this because I've dated other girls, and the ones where we had more common interests tended to be the happier ones, at least for me. But attractiveness did play a large part as well, obviously. But my point is you need both.

>>35797996

Oh really, well then excuse me Chad, I'm not sure why you're desperately asking /r9k/ for advice but after all your experience I'm sure you've got things under control.

>>35797978
I don't have very many friends that I still talk to that are into the same things I "nerdy" things I mentioned, and as I said, I've talked to for a long time, the only thing I would be doing to try to get her to like me is improving myself by losing weight. And if she still doesn't like me by then, then I totally understand. but she's really skinny/petite in comparison to me, and I'm large and fat, so I think that's why she can't find me attractive. And there's no harm in finding out whether or not that's really the reason .

I'll be honest, the main reason Im finding it so hard to move on is because I asked her out with tons of confidence and thought she would say yes, cuz she's not really out of my league and she's not really hot or anything, and we were good friends. I asked out 2 before her, one that I am also good friends with, that were out of my league with basically no confidence, expecting to be rejected, and I was. And I got over it, no problem. I just asked her out with too much confidence and such high hopes and having a hard time getting over it. I'm sorry

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>>35797569
>We're both kind of nerdy (although I hide my nerdiness and don't hang out much with my nerdier friends much anymore)
>I've made a lot of new friends, and feel like a completely different person.
If you burned your "nerdier friends" to try and impress theoretical roasties there's a deep circle in hell for cunts like you, repent.
Fucking normalscum.

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>>35797864
>self-improvement meme to impress a girl

Young robot, don't do this; if you don't find a better reason to do those things, and there are so many, the other shoe will drop hard.

You're setting yourself up for a black pill. Women are trash.

>>35798520
I didn't really stop talking to them deliberately, we just ended up going to different schools and never really got the chance to hang out much except during winter/spring/summer breaks. It would only make sense that I would start talking to different people at my own school. Also my new friends are a bit geeky but not much, and I didn't start talking to them just to impress her, she's kind of a big nerd/weeb

>>35798628
Fair play, then.
Your tone suggested otherwise, glad to hear you're not bent over entirely for the women meme.

You really do need to cut contact with this chick though. It's not going to be a good time for anyone, except maybe her, and she clearly holds you in contempt.

>>35798579
It's not just for her, it's for any other girls too, my own goals, and partly because of fashion. If I'm more fit, I obviously have a better chance at getting an attractive gf, right? I'm not expecting her to say yes, I'm just looking for another chance to ask her out as a new, fit, and (hopefully) ripped me. And if she says no, then I fully understand that. Women are trash, but I'd rather be with the trash than lonely and depressed all by myself forever. At least it's temporary happiness

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>>35798762
>It's not just for a girl.
>It's for a girl, girls, [me, I guess], clothing (girls)
>If I work really hard... [maybe girls]

Sincerely, good luck. I'm pretty sure happiness is just perspective, so anything could theoretically work. Even temporary happiness is exceedingly fleeting when turned over to the hands of succubi, though.

A robot tying his future fortunes to the actions of women is just taunting God, wearing a "Kick Me Harder, Please" sign on his back.

>>35798839
I'm not into fashion just for girls. The girl I'm talking about isn't into fashion or anything, she could care less if I wore designer or Walmart clothes.

>>35798839
Well how would you suggest changing that perspective? The only time I'm not depressed and am genuinely happy is when I'm hanging out with people. When I'm alone and left to my own thoughts I become depressed and unmotivated to do anything. Which is partly why I started going to the gym with my friends, but now I found my own motivation to go myself.

>>35798839
Sorry I'm on mobile, meant to say it's not for her or any other girls, although it would increase my chances as a bonus

>>35797569
You friendzoned yourself your toast unless you break out of the friendzone and that can take months of 0 contact AT A MINIMUM.

Being a 'friend' is actually a very risky move because while it does temporarily increase your chances. Eventually its going to hit the point of no return which results in a friendzone.

Its a gamble as the longer you wait the better the increase...that is until it hits peak and crashes into the Friendzone.

Which is an extremely common mistake that is made by fuck tons of men. You think oh starting of as friends is not only easy it also increases my odds for when I finally ask her out on a date.

Its a fucking gamble not a surefire method that wont backfire on you.

>>35798996
Well I think there's also a lot of risks involved in not talking to her for months. I've talked to her regularly to semi-regularly for 2 years as friends, and if I just out of the blue stopped talking to her after getting friendzoned and her expressing her interests to remain friends and hang out just as friends, wouldn't she think it's a bit strange? Or would she not think anything of it at all?

>>35798996
Also I already asked her out so how should I try asking her out again in the future after hopefully becoming more attractive? Maybe I should stop talking to her for a few months, considering that I already tried asking her out. I think asking out + stop talking for a while + get attractive + ask her out again would work better than asked her out + remain friends and talk + get attractive + ask her out.

>>35798996
>>35799141
Well, there's a bit of a problem. I still have a semester with her in one of my classes, she sits next to me in class, and we're doing a course-long project together... So maybe I'd stop talking to her in the summer and maybe start talking to her again mid-winter.

>>35799095
Breaking out of a friendzone isn't meant to be easy. Otherwise so many other guys wouldn't just give up and move on or become an orbiter.

Breaking out of the friendzone requires forcing a hard reset on the relationship. Usually this happens naturally when you move away due to job/school or whatever then come back for whatever reason a long time after of no contact. Suddenly you have changed and those old memories are greatly weakened to begin with.

Which here is the biggy because includes your PREVIOUS status.

Technically you just gotta be out of their minds for a long enough time and change just enough as to suddenly make them reconsider you as a person...and when that happens. So you don't even necessarily have to move away or cause some other super large enough change. All its really about is forcing you to change enough that you cannot easily be compared to the old you and keeping the old image of yourself from being reinforced(otherwise its not gonna work because then your image even if its wholly wrong is still 'fresh').

Old evaluations are tossed and new ones are instated. Including the tossing of your previous status of friendzoned.

The fastest method I ever heard there being pulled off still took months, no contact(you CANNOT allow yourself to be refreshed in their mind it sets the clock back to 0 EVERY time it happens even by accident), and causing a large enough change that suddenly they are FORCED to reevaluate you.

In your case this can be a simple as losing enough weight in the meantime.

Suddenly months(or even years later) you show up again as a seemingly new person. Due to the lack of contact your previous image has long atrophied and the encountering the 'new you' is a large enough shock. That it forces a hard reset of your status as you are reevaluated.

Thereby allowing you to break out of the friendzone.

I have even heard of women using this exact same trick on men who friendzoned them. It works no matter your sex.

>>35799266
Well, I'm in a class with her so I won't really be able to cut contact until the summer. Would this still work if I continue to somewhat talk to her (though I'll limit it to our project) for these remaining 3 or so months, then cut contact?

>>35799266
Note doing just one of the steps isn't going to work. You have to do BOTH.

Also the more time you can keep the no contact up and the more you change the better. The trick is the more you old image has been allowed to atrophy without reinforcement the weaker it is going to be. Which means its easier to break out of the friendzone.

The bigger the change you undergo is about causing the largest shock as possible. In this case the more and stronger it is the better. After all the greater the shock the larger the blow...which is required to actually destroy your old image even if its super weak after many years of 0 contact. If you haven't really changed at all its just gonna refresh itself instead of resetting like you want...

>>35799408
It has to be 0 contact and the shortest I ever heard it working was around half a year.

I think the BEST record was like 3-5 months and that was after the guy changed to a gigantic degree. As in not even his own mother would recognize him tier. No really she didn't.

>>35799434
Thank you, anon. So by both steps you mean cut contact + come back a new, changed person, right? Sorry, I'm sleepy as fuck after a long day of work and am just a bit worried I missed something while reading. And again, thank you for the advice. I'll be sure to remember you when and if I ever break out of the friendzone.

>>35799549
Pretty much but it has gotta be 0 contact though. Remember if there is ANY kind of contact it resets to 0. Even worse if she catches you amidst the change. As then she'll be caught off less guard thereby reducing the shock value.

>>35799750
Alright, thank you. I won't be able to have 0 contact until the summer, so I guess in the meantime I'll try not to change tooo too much, lol

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>>35797569
Hey OP, I feel you and want to give some advice. Your situation reminds me of my own a few years ago.

I think you are on the right general path. Focusing on self-improvement isn't "a meme", it is your salvation. I'm gonna be frank, it will probably never "work out" with this girl, but turning this period in your life into something positive is the best you can do. I know you can't just stop crushing on her.

But like everything else, it will pass.

The idea of having a perfect soulmate is very romantic, but it is just that, romantic. It isn't realistic. You have no soulmate, but by the same coin you have a million soulmates. The future you will look back at this point in your life and wonder what made you so infatuated with this particular girl.

And you won't be able to answer, because the reasons aren't inherently objective. A lot of it is probably created in your head, caused by your idealization of the girl in question.

If you want to improve yourself with the goalpost of asking her out again someday, and that makes you motivated, go for it. If it doesn't work out, that's fine. The skills you have learned and the growth you will have made won't have gone away. And when you are the new, improved anon, you will have a much higher respect for yourself. Not only will this help you with finding happiness and attracting females.

Perhaps most importantly it will help you move on.

I wish you all the luck in life my friend. We are all going to make it.

>>35797569
Who knows dude girls are fucking weird. Get out while you still can. You've probably gotten to know 10 girls max in your entire adult life, there's very little chance you met someone irreplacable.

You probably wont head this warning, but moving on is the objectively best strategy.

_WHY_ she doesn't like you doesn't matter, It's not something you can change. The only thing that would appeal enough would be a high power position job or a SHIT load of money, but would you want a woman who only likes you for what you have instead of who you are?

>you see her as a potential mate, not a friend
>she sees you as a friend, not a potential mate

There is no way you two can work, in any way, even as friends.

Cut all contact and move on, I've done it three times in the past 14 months and honestly it hurts less each time.

The other Anon was practically right, OP. The way I see it cutting the contact is the easiest possible way to obtain an actual chance of a partnership. I've seen it with my Oneitis that everytime I've decided to forget her, she started being seemingly more interested in me as I didn't pay her much attention. Unfortunately and exactly according to Anon's theory, Ive distrubed the process of her forgetting my former self by talking to her in a attempted flirty manner. I am not able to ignore her if she shows at least a tiny bit of unplatonic affection towards me. Fuck.

>>35797569
It's probably how ugly you are, it took me the longest time to realise how much of an ugly piece of vermin I am bit once I realised, I've never been happy again

>>35797569
What anime is this from?

I'm writing this so the post is original

>>35797569
Iktf anon.
>she cares about you but dont love you
>she's always messaging with a lot of people during classes
>your late night conversations are probably not that meaningful to her
>You're so much in love with her you struggle to be your true self
>She never invite you to anything and she's too 'busy' all the time
>But she's always there for you when you're down
>She always gets you up and helps you become a better person so you cant hate her

I should give up and ask a 6/10 nerdy girl out but its not what I want.