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ITT: shit about you nobody would believe
>there's two people in my family who are seriel killers
>they don't know about each other
>one is my cousins cousin who has killed 10 people
>the other one is my dad
>I know of at least 4 of his victims
>my dad is also an advocate and a body-building chad
>I've seen the dark triad up close
>my dad has threatened to kill me and shoot me
>he's told me vividly how he killed those victims, including and up to dumping the bodies
>when I was in 2nd grade he got hijacked and had his beemer took and got shot 3 times
>in coma
>healed, found the hijackers and killed them
>took me for a ride to the beach and showed me blood stains on his jacket in the backseat
>told me about the murders he committed that morning
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>>35757230
>I once ate an entire tube of glue
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>>35757230
>I've never gotten laid and I'm 5'8"
The world feels upside down
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>>35757301
I only get laid when I'm 5'8"
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>>35757230
HAHA What the fuck bro where do you live that something like this happens? Also more stories and personal details about your dad please
>he's told me vividly how he killed those victims, including and up to dumping the bodies
Greentext please. Also location. I love reading crime stories HAHA
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>I'm 6'4", fit, good-looking and generally pretty likable but have NEVER even had a girl TOUCH my penis
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>I deliberately gave myself a concussion one time by hitting myself in the head with a rock
>I make animal noises and talk in weird primitive broken English at my parents instead of speaking normally, even though I talk normally around everyone else
>I lived in the woods alone for about a month while my parents thought I was in college
>I saw into a parallel universe one time in which I was a genetic mutant creature
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>be 5'6"
>fucked over 100 girls
>had gfs taller than me
Of course everyone in real life believes this. But on /r9k/ they don't since it goes against their worldview.
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>>35757364
Obvious FBI is obvious. Leave normie
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>i don't have a girlfriend
orignanldlfweq
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>>35757230
>I saw into a parallel universe one time in which I was a genetic mutant creature
How you do his
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>>35757364
South Africa, not sharing stories, it's really not a joke. It's real people man. Funerals were had. Mothers mourned. I've had nightmares about this shit.
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>>35757402
ur ugly and skinnyfat harry fuck off
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>>35757409
>I saw into a parallel universe one time in which I was a genetic mutant creature
No that's still the same universe you're in right now.
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>>35757476
I'm none of those things, including harry.
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>>35757508
But why do you say that anon
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>>35757475
And then it made sense.
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>I'm building a guillotine to cut all 4 of my left fingers off
Actually have some JB weld drying as I type this
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>>35757555
Because I don't have a gf and now I take out the rage on anons like you. Sorry.
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>>35757660
This introspective apology made me giggle. hopefully you'll find someone anon.
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>>35757595
Gave me a good laugh. Best of luck, anon!
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