Well boys, this is it, I'm gonna kill myself Heh...

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>>35753265
top meme familamamam

honestly my whole life revolves around le :^) man these days. every part of my soul is inside of that simple text character. i don't even know how to feel anymore, it's become too abstract.

>>35753391
My feelings have become abstract as well, brother.

I know this because my face is a large grimace which fluctuates between that, a neutral face, and frowning literally all the time.

I want to yell and cry and get angry about shit but that only will make things worse so I keep it tucked in, inside.

I just don't know who I am anymore, I feel like my identity has been tampered with and I don't know if I'm suffering from a mental illness or not aside from a mix of depression, anxiety, and autism.

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>>35753512
those are the big 3 for me as well. finally went to a psychiatrist and i'm getting treatment.

for a long time i was convinced that i wasn't human, or that i didn't experience human emotion, because my feelings were so detached from reality and from concrete events (because there was nothing happening in my life, ever).

but yeah man, identity's a fucked up thing. it's just a collection of memories and ideas, and their respective feelings and images attached to them. it's pretty simple to just imagine it all fade away and leave you empty-handed.

>>35753552
There was a time when, I was happy with who I was before, but something changed about me the following years after highschool and I wasn't the same since.

Atleast, that's what I recall. Perhaps this has always been with me but I didn't realize it. Atleast I didn't realize it fully until I took psychadelics.

And that has changed me alot as well. Oh anon, life is so peculiar, what should I think of it?

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>>35753675
i wouldn't think anything of "life" in general. to me that seems like a waste of time, like when people say i'm just thinking about life or i've got things in life to sort out or "what is life?" nah, that's futile. and while it has some kind of cliched objective understanding, a lot of the things we say have no real meaning without a base assumption of cultural context, ya feel. most of what we say is literally just a cultural artifact with no purpose or meaning when you deconstruct it. we rely on so many implications.

but whatever man, don't think about "life." it's just a dead end. to me it's a pretty immature character who spends his time attempting to think about the cosmos or "life" or etcetera standardized "deep" subjects. the goal is to make your own life a microcosm, your tiny insignificance should become a universe where every object, every moment begins to have a significance, or a symbolic meaning, or whatever.

I don't know why i just wrote all that. I haven't spoken to anyone in a while and it's 4:30am. I hope you have a good night/day man.