>tfw hairy ass so anytime i take a shit i have to jump in

Trim your fuckin ass hair you animal

Ok mr fancy. If you just wait a bit it'll dry and wont be squishy

>>35741261
Change your diet, swampass-san.
I shit out 3/4 -1'' nuggets with a 7 Mohs hardness the color of enriched uranium, that resemble mutated broccoli more than actual poopoo. Fibre and protein ftw.

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>>35741341
>swampass-san

>>35741261
Stop eating so many fucking carbs and eat more fiber your poops will be dryer

>>35741261
Throw some Nair on your hairy ass, swampu-kun

>>35741266
...how??? i dont know how...

>>35741261
just do a lewd doggy position near the sink and wipe your ass with your hand+water and dry it with tp/towel


and you can trim it with scissors

>>35741261
You know theres this thing called bidet, right?

Laxatives exist, you know? Swamp -> free-flowing, fiber-free, flatulence-forced, freedom-fighting feces/

>>35741261
Accept your fate, Louisiana-kun.
Your ass shall forever be swamp-like.
Put a piece of tissue in between your ass checks, after wiping, and let it settle.
Change it later, much like a woman with a pad.

>>35741261
Just take a razor and shave your ass.

I shaved my asshole so that way I would be cleaner, and you should too.

>>35743084
Also, make sure you use a straight razor.
Don't wanna be a little pussy pansy-ass bitch now, right?

>>35743115
Does it matter, you still get an ass that doesn't get as much shit stuck on it. Which would save you toilet paper and time costs.

Do you guys really shave your boipussy just so you don't have to deal with your improper wiping techniques?

Swamp ass isn't from shitting, it's from being an unhygenic fat fuck.

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>>35741261
I know that feel fellow asshair-bro. Altough, I'm fat so it just makes it even worse.

Trust me, you want to shave that ass or you'll end up like me. Getting a pilonidal cyst is not what you want, that shit is awful and mine has started to come back again. You start to leak smelly puss and blood out of your ass, it literally tries to creates a second asshole.

>>35741261
Just an fyi WalMart sells Flushable wet wipes in the back of the store near the TP in 3 packs of 50 sheets for like 2 bucks.

Start with a wet one, do it again until no streaks, finish with dry regular toilet paper, then was your fucking hands.

Problem solved.
T. A fellow bear

>>35743263
>wiping techniques
What kinda autist jitsu you usin', brah?

>>35743193
don't fall for this meme. some guy shaved his ass and immediately regretted it. look up his experience

>>35741261
>not enjoying the frequent squeaky clean feeling of a daily enema.
Your ass hair isn't the problem, it's your perspective.

How do you guys wipe your ass? Personally I stand up, still in shitting position so I don't smear the shit all over my cheeks. Bend a little bit forward and then put my arm between my penis and balls and wipe from upside to downside untill it reaches my ballsack area.

I found this really effective, only thing is if you have some pee left on your cock it might go onto your arm, but that shit you can just wash off in the sink. How do you wipe?

>>35743408
Same
Cept I purposely smear dribbling pee onto forearm

>>35743408

Same position, but I go outside instead of in. The con to this is that my right rear delt is much more developed than my left, so I can't recommend this too much. might try your way

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>>35741585
I usually take a piece of toilet paper and rip the hairs out of my asshole in clumps.

You mighht bleed a bit but you're already sticking tissue down there so its no problem.

I shaved my boipussy cuz i want to be loved by Gay-Chad

lol, i just ate a few squares of tp after each meal and let my shit clean after itself