What keeps you going /sci/? This is not an /r9k/ >tfwnogf

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>yfw you realize you are a ghost stuck inside a meatcage with no chance of escape except death and then you realize it's a simulated universe inside another dimension on some fat guys computer and it just loops around like that through infinite

Is this a fucking joke? I'm aware that porn is just pixels on a screen stimulating my photo-receptors causing my neurons to misfire triggering some genetically-encoded reproductive instincts, and it's also a gross misrepresentation of human relationships and mating behaviors and so on and so on, but I have zero problem fapping to it. I can't seem to stop enjoying junk food either because learning of its undesirable nutritional qualities has done little to change its interaction with my tastebuds.

If you're serious, I recommend you stay the fuck away from particle physics because serious contemplation will literally kill you.

More likely you're just going through a depressive phase. It happens to almost everyone, and I'm sorry to say your anhedonia doesn't have very much to do with your intelligence.

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>>35731951
>If you're serious, I recommend you stay the fuck away from particle physics because serious contemplation will literally kill you.
Its funny you would say that because I had a physics teacher in high school that introduced me to particle physics, and I have not been able to stop thinking about it to this day.

>I'm sorry to say your anhedonia doesn't have very much to do with your intelligence.
Everything I listed was gradual over the last year so maybe. I was going to work on my second book today and I though, it won't sell, and if it does I won't care so why bother.
Any time I do or think about anything it always comes back to, "it does not matter".

>>35731952
>I have not been able to stop thinking about it to this day.
Eh, who knows, maybe "insight porn" is the one thing that will keep you going now?
Go read this then, and check if it furthers your depression or if it actually conjures up some excitement:
http://lesswrong.com/lw/pm/identity_isnt_in_specific_atoms/

>>35731953
It's to late for long reading, thanks anon I will look at this in the morning.

My personal learning routes is to simply understand the basic principle, the core function of how a system (as a subject) works and then apply it on a grand scale. I've been doing that unconsciously for a decade or so now. You learn things at a distance by minor observations as a result.

The downside to this method is, it takes away all the uniqueness of things and the awe and wonder of things. While people around me are fascinated by the mundane I am unable to express that mundane appreciation without realizing the true nature of those things. However what I lose in mundane appreciation I gain in core appreciation. The understanding that simple core functions allow for such diversity amongst larger bodies.

I have even understood the basic principle of nihilism and your angst. Its simply faulty understanding of the nature of self. As some may call it, a cognitive dissonance. At some point you'd realize the things that apply to other systems would apply the same to your self-construction.

The real beauty is when you connect all those things together into a unified series understanding of reality. From science to entertainment to philosophy to mundane, connecting all these require broad understanding in many fields. This ofcourse takes long time to come together, but thats what the pursuit of truth/knowledge carries people to.

>>35731949
how can you not enjoy food tho. you obviously have something wrong with your tastebuds. i mean FUCKING FOOD man. how can you not like it

But honestly the only way I deal with the existential numbness is by pretending it's not there. This results in actually caring about things that I'm useless at, so I'm not really sure if it really is the best strategy.

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Reminder: /sci/ is for discussing topics pertaining to science and mathematics, not for helping you with your homework or helping you figure out your career path.

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Thinking that the human endeavor is pointless because it ultimately ends is like saying that eating dinner is pointless because you're going to be hungry again tomorrow whether you eat dinner today or not. The things in your brain telling you that it's all futile or that life is depressing are the same animal instincts and biological necessities that you think you've risen above, but really haven't.

Deconstructing something doesn't necessarily remove the meaning from it either. Pain still hurts even if you know it's only electrochemical signals in your nervous system. A good video game should still be fun even after you understand the game mechanics and the metagame perfectly.