Who else /ruinedtheirbrain/ here? I used to be much smarter,

Me too man. When I was young I was doing meth, pills, cough syrup, computer duster, for the first time in months I haven't been high and I'm going fucking crazy. I mostly stick to weed now that I'm 18 in school.

>>35727448
I am pretty sure you were /alwaysretarded/

Alcohol has completely messed up the way I react to situations that make me anxious. The physical feeling is disproportionately huge in comparison to the emotion itself. I'll get full blown panic attacks from the most innocuous shit. Feels bad man.

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>Be ~23.
>Programmer, making dosh.
>Always the guy they call when nobody can figure out shit.
>Worked on a project with Google once
>Qt 3.14 GF.
>Actively try to better myself
>Speak 3 languages, 2 fluently.

>Existential depression hits like a brick.
>Can't stop thinking about how I'll die and how utterly massive the universe is.
>Go out of my way to meet a few philosophers.
>Feel better for a day or two until I debunk what I was told.
>Spiraling depression.

>November 19, 2007.
>Driving to work.
>Panic starts setting in.
>Drive to bank instead.
>Cash out.
>Destroy phone and pager
>Skip town
>Skip state

And ever since then I've been buying a steady stream of meth to destroy my mind and retired from any kind of work you can't swing a hammer at so I'm not stimulated. I have not spoken with anyone from before I left so no clue as to what happened, but I'm happy now, no longer have any panic attacks, and go to church.

i was already dumb and then i ruined my brain

>>35727587
>computer duster
You mean the compressed air that you spray to clean your keyboard and shit? How do I get high off this?

>>35727448
I have some pretty noticeable brain fog a

I dont know if its fatigue and the fact that my diet is literally fucking garbage along with constant dehydration or if its because of my heavy psychedelic usage

>>35728650
dont its fucking retarded and it will make you fucking retarded

>>35728627
I'm confused, so do you only work in jobs where you swing hammers to stay mentally stimulated? Also, why give up the programmer money!?

>>35728627
jesus christ, do you have some sort of mental illness? or did you have a spiritual awakening? What the fuck made you drop it all?

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>>35728650
>Put can straw up nose.
>Breath in through nose and spray (don't hold can upside down).
>Do this ~3 times.
>Get instant high that fades in about a minute.
>Feel sick after 10 times.

>Never do it again because you want to vomit even thinking about it.

Also never try the sucking method, where you suck on the can as you blow. That can easily make you pass out as you try to go one step further each intake. Nose method allows a steady supply of air is in your lungs.

>>35728707
"Can swing a hammer at" is a common saying in my area. I mean I don't do anything that requires too much thought. I used to make and then animate my own backgrounds for my workstation but I don't do that now.

>>35728729
I was scared before, now I live in bliss.

Do you still program?

>>35727448
i ruined it for not studying and not sleeping well for 10 years

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>>35728846
nope

Last time I touched a computer for anything other than r9k/9gag/pornhub was to check my banking a couple weeks back.

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>>35727448
Moved to a place with a shitty private well for the neighborhood water source, Fuckers knew there was arsenic in the water and took YEARS before they released the warning. Now I spend all my free time posting cartoon frog pictures and jerking off to dudes that look like chicks.

>>35728627
Like you don't speak to your family and friends at all? Do you think they think your dead?

>>35729128
I don't know what happened to them. I do hope I didn't cause any damage.

Hopefully aderal doesn't mess me up too bad later on in life

>>35729273
Hmm the opposite is for me I take it and it chills me out I can actually think and concentrate Idk y I hear all my class mates speak about how it makes them super hyper.

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>>35727448
>always been a good boy
>never partook in the devil's nectar
>still ended up slow with a poor memory

>>35727587

If you were doing all that shit and now you're just barely 18... Then you're fucked and the damage is pretty much permanent. Might as well try heroin now at least, it's supposed to be the best shit ever.