Do you ever look in the mirror and realize that everything is

>>35721392
that's really fucked up anon, you definitely have problems. i'm sorry you have to deal with being like this, but have you ever tried to get help?
if you did try to get help and it didn't work, maybe you can just live in the middle of nowhere or lock yourself in your house or something so you can't be around other people.

>>35721392
It wouldn't be so bad either, if I didn't feel such a thrill from doing it. I look back on that memory and honestly smile, I jerk off to the memory occasionally as well. I don't know why I'm like this, I had a normal childhood and I should be by all accounts Chad.

>extremely attractive
>wealthy
>tall
>white
>have multiple gfs all the time

But yet, I can't imagine ever having sex with them. I use them, abuse them and then throw them away when I get them extremely attached to me. I love seeing them cry, both in person and online. I'm still a KHV, I'm 23. I could lose it right now though, which should make me a Chad by all accounts. I just couldn't maintain an erection having 'normal' sex with any of these, hitting them wouldn't work either it's only seeing them in psychological pain that'd do it for me. Sorry for the rant anons, maybe somebody knows this feeling or perhaps I'm just a unique piece of shit.

>>35721474
I'm on meds for psychosis, BPD and a few others but my therapist just says the same old repeated lines. I've heard them a million times, he doesn't know what's wrong with me and can't fix me. I've tried fixing myself but I can't do it, it's literally impossible. I've done everything and followed everyone's advice, but I'll get in these episodes where I'll have to see someone in pain. Always emotional, never physical. It'd be so much easier if it was the latter.

>>35721392
You're a piece of my shit my man. That's all I can say.

>>35721539
>I'll get in these episodes where I'll have to see someone in pain
couldn't you just watch a video of someone in emotional pain or something? or just fuck with your sister or whatever once and just keep watching the video over and over to get your fix. kind of sounds like a dumb idea but could it work?

>>35721587
I've tried it before, it's not the same. As I said earlier, my sister killed herself in August but I used to mess with her when I had my episodes. That's probably one of the biggest reasons she did it to be frank, I messed with her very often. The thing I have found to work well is to get a long list of gays and girls online and get in a relationship with them, and then when I have an episode get on Skype or something similar and watch them break down. I tried saving videos of it, but it's not the same. It's the feeling of knowing they're breaking down right this instant because of me that feels so good. I stopped doing it IRL after this dumb whore tried to kill me, I still have a scar from it. She was probably right to try though

>>35721653
What exactly would you do to your sister?

>>35721653
i really don't know then anon. maybe you could just try and find some really mean jerks and fuck with them instead so it's at least somewhat justified i guess. or just find a way to cut contact with people and just live in isolation somehow so you can't hurt anyone.

>>35721392

Reported to the FBI, CIA, NSA, MI5, Navy Seals AND the SAS.

You're fucked mate.

>>35721667
I'd build up her self-esteem and then break it down, when she reached her lowest points then it was mocking her and messing with her. I'd make sure she couldn't sleep at night, one day she snapped at work and got in a fight and lost her job because she was 'tired' so it worked out well. She tried moving out for a while but I made sure she was financially incapable of running away, I slashed her tires and made sure she got fired from her other job. She was forced to come back and live with me out of necessity soon after. I forgot to mention this, but I'm not a NEET and do have my own house. She didn't really have anyone else to rely on, so it was fairly easy.

>>35721699
I've tried living in isolation, I was a shut-in for 3 years. My parents died and the rest of my family hates me now though, so I'm forced to live surrounded with other humans. I could get on NEETbux, but I've proven myself to be capable at making decent money (I get paid $19/hr working as a carpenter) so they'll probably reject my claim.

>>35721791
Oh. It sounds like you're a textbook abuser man. There's nothing you can do to fix yourself. You don't even want to, either. Just delete the thread.

>>35721916
I realize I can't fix myself. I didn't mean to rant about my life experiences in this thread, simply to find other people. I've been browsing r9k for several years now and I doubt there's others like me, or I would've found them by now.

>>35721961
Well, you're talking to a person who comes from a family like that. that's why I was interested.

You don't deserve sympathy. The world would be better off if you killed yourself to be honest with you.

>>35722022
I don't think people enjoy abusing others generally however, it's usually them venting or something to that effect. I don't think I'm like your family.

>>35722064
I think the world would be better off if a lot of people killed themselves anon, I'm just one little fucked up pebble in a rockbed. I do agree with the sentiment, but I do enjoy life in my own way when I'm not drugged up so it probably won't happen.

>>35721475

>KHV
>Thinks he's a Chad

HAHAHAH

>>35721392
Man be honest as fuck with me. Do you take yourself for real? You're just fucked up on some kind of drug addiction - get clean and your life won't feel wired anymore. And make it up to your sister for fuck sake , she deserves a better brother than you. Don't think you can play the victim either and continue to say you're wired to do these things, You're high as shit or something

>>35722099
I've had women naked before me, I attempted to have sex with one and she tried blowing me. I couldn't get it up though, and I told her I wasn't feeling good and left. From what I've gotten (anal/blowjob) it's fairly disgusting and hyped up. I prefer jerking off by far.

Why don't you kill yourself as soon as possible? Maybe give all of your remaining wealth and possessions away so you can feel like you redeemed yourself just a scrap as you die

>>35722169

Sorry brah, you're beta as fuck.

I'm not buying it. OP, mind posting a pic of the scar you have from the chick that tried to kill you? Much appreciated.

>>35721392
Assuming this is true and you're not making up retarded stories, your 34 year old pedophile acquaintance is right and you should follow in your sister's footsteps.

>>35721475
>extremely attractive
post face u monster

>>35721392
wow nice edgy post ANON, but honestly you aren't doing anything wrong! If she killed herself out of her own volition, that's on her. It's like they say, all crimes are legal as long as you don't get caught. You might hate yourself for it, but isn't it better to hate someone for who they are instead of loving them for who they are not? Please tell us some of your other exploits.

>>35722473
>deletes it

shiggy

>>35721392
all the retards in this thread not realizing this is b8

lmaoooooooooo


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