Let's post something embarassing about ourselves, because

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>>35720961
This is pretty damn embarrassing.

>>35720961
mine too. Well maybe not 14 but 11/12

I was in special classes during the ninth grade because I was an apathetic cunt and made my previous teachers believe that I was just super autistic and couldn't use my brain.

>>35721874
Well...did he suck it?

>>35720961
>humored pillows as first form of masterbation, it ruined my sex life as an adult, can't cum without full clit stimulation the whole time, also meat curtains from scrubbing them on pillows
>saw two dogs mating once, tried to hump the family poopdle-I'm a girl. Mom caught me and I wasn't allowed around the dog for a while
>was so fucking annoying to a dude in highschool I was crushi ng on that he got his dad to leave me a voicemail saying he would kill me if I ever went near his kid again. I was 13.
>like in mountains, one time pretended to be a bigfoot bymyself, in broad daylight. I'm basically walking around pretending to be a twig eating monkey, grandma pulls up the drive right as I'm crouching down to sniff the dirt. She tells my parents.
>one time my mom accused me of stealing her vibrator. I didnt, the only other person who could have taken it was my dad. Most painful argument of my life.
>got called 'radio' on highschool, thought it was a cool nickname in reference to my wide music taste. It wasnt, it was a reference to the retarded nigger in the actual movie radio.

>>35721928
Humped* live* sorry I typed that really fast

I started wearing my moms clothes when I was 11. Wearing clothes when she wasnt home wasnt enough so I started wearing her underwear under my clothes sometimes. One time my mom was watching tv and I went in her room to get some panties to wear while I went to sleep. When I was leaving she came to her room and I thought she was going to ask what I was doing but instead asked if I wanted to sleep in bed with her. So I went to sleep in my mom's bed secretly wearing her panties and I was having a nigh panic attack, I still feel like shit from it. I saved up and bought my own girl stuff after that.

>>35722000
Why tho
For what purpose

>>35722062
It made me feel calmer and more comfortable. I didnt start masturbating until I was 16 and never got turned on by girls clothes. My therapist said it was early signs of trannyness basically

>>35721928
You sound like a super qt I wish I knew a girl like you

I lived for a year by myself once without cleaning the apartment once

>be me
>be in coffee shop reading /r9k/
>girl walks up, are you reading 4chan wtf?
>are you a fucking sad bastard ???
>I smile and say, well yes I am, but also I'm a journalist doing a story on depressed school shooters
>she is like, "really!?"
>Yes I actually work for buzzfeed, hold my hand out to shake as introduction
>instantly cum in my pants as our hands touch
>ask her if she wants to get me a tissue to mop cummies
>she says ewww no
>I open my laptop
>spaghetti everywhere
>well that's great but NORMIES GET OUT!!!
>REEEEEEEEEEEEE as I walk out the door
>she is speechless with laughter

>>35722219
put me in the screencap reddit

dorais edinburgh

My roommate caught me masturbating Freshman year of college. It fed directly into my unwanted humiliation fetish and made it much worse.

spycammed my sister in the shower and got caught

>>35720961
the one time i almost lost my virginity the girl puked on my dick and ran away crying

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>>35722166
Huehue freak

>>35721928
You don't get meat curtains from scrubbing them. I have a asymmetrical half innie half curtain, since before I've ever masturbated. Sure as hell haven't been rubbing one side only either

>>35722325
You can't make fun of me I got dubs

But seriously I wish I knew a girl that was fun and did fun stuff and listened to cool music instead of being a boring normie. If I could find an irl fembot that wasn't an SJW and I worked up the courage to talk to her I would ask her to be my gf

>>35722267
What was her reaction to this?

>>35722361
Well I didn't have them started fucking a pillow for two years, and wham there they were.
Not everyone is the same, you're genetics made you a roastie, I worked for mine.

>>35722398
Wanna be daddy bigfoot?

>>35722505
Haha I wouldn't mind going camping and pretending to be ghosts or monsters whenever there are normies around

What music do you like?

Im 20 and i still shit myself

>>35722548
Uh well, right off my head
Wutang
Weezer
Tribe called quest
Earth wind and fire
Tallest man on earth
Uh
My chemical romance
Johnny cash
Dr dog
And getter.

>>35722614
Old weezer, i like the home recordings. I have them in vynl. Newer weezer, I liked make belive VERY MUCH

>>35722614
The only one I've listened to out of those is Dr Dog and I've only listened to a bit of his stuff

>tfw no neutral milk hotel, Radiohead, pixies, David Bowie, AJJ loving gf

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Up to about the age of 10 I used to strip naked to take a shit, because I didn't want to get poop on my clothes. I only did it once or twice in public; I usually just held it until I got home. Also, I am bulimic/binge eater (mainly the latter, I only purge when my binges are huge.) this is embarrassing because eating disorders are retarded to have. I still can't stop though. Also, I'm relatively skinny at this point in my life, so I tend to have a big pot belly from bloating. It won't be long before I get fat though, I'm an artificial skelly (I have to restrict my calories in order to remain skinny)
>tfw no skelly metabolism
I will never be happy. It's the one thing that I would do anything for

>>35722700
Start lifting dude. Seriously, it'll give you a reason to eat more and give you something to do with those excess calories, plus it won't look bad if you have some fat on top of muscle

>>35722683
Dude, I love NMH, I fogot it
My faverite is king of carrot flowers and I know all the words to that one, two headed boy and of course THE ONLY GIRL IVE EVERRR LOOOVEEED

>>35722683
I don't like the pixies tho, and I only really like life on Mars and changes when it comes to bowie :p

>>35722725
My fave is Oh Comely

GOLDALINE MY DEAR, WE WILL FOLD AND FREEZE TOGETHER

My Skype is snnd100 if you wanna add me and just talk for tonight... I'm trying to get to bed early but I can't fall asleep easy

I don't want an online gf or anything but having a friend is nice

>>35722759
I don't have Skype my friend.
But I'm here, always on the other side of the screen. Cruising the void, cold.

>>35720961
>>>35722759
>I don't have Skype my friend.
>But I'm here, always on the other side of the screen. Cruising the void, cold.

thats deep my freind...

>>35722847
Aww alright... well I'm gonna try and sleep now then

Check out The Glow Pt. 2 by The Microphones, it's a really comfy folkish album (there is no part 1 lel)

>>35720961
i learned how to wipe my own ass when i was 9 because my mom was sleeping and didnt want to get up.

>Be 11
>3 friends are spending the night at my house, two blacks and one white friend
>night falls and we start playing truth or dare
>start with normal truths/dares
>White friends dares one of the nigger kids to suck my dick. He does.
>escalates into all 4 of us in a circle trying to fuck each other in the ass
>end up cumming on one of the black kids back

I'm not gay. I don't talk to any of them anymore. The two blacks ended up growing up to be all hard and gangster, it's funny to think that I fucked them.

Had shit all down the back of my karate outfit because I couldn't get it off in time when I was in the toilet. Didn't know until my dad came to collect me and made an excuse so I could leave. Never went back and we still laugh to this day

>>35720961
i was on azithromycin which makes you have to poop at the wrong time and i took a mean dump in my college. i didnt wipe my ass with water because theres no fountains in stalls, so i sat in the bus smelling like shit and sick as hell.

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>mom made me a blanket in 2nd grade
>loved it
>would lick it and sniff the spots when it dries up
>slept with the blanket
>became dependent on blanket for sleep
>found it very difficult/impossible to sleep without it
I've completely outgrown the licking it part, but I definitely still use it.

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>>35720961
When I was a kid I went down a slide on my stomach facing forward, but I never made it because my ass got stuck in the tube at the very beginning and all the kids were pushing my ass trying to get me to slide down while I was crying the entire time. Teacher took the top part of the slide apart to free me.

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>tfw couldn't tie my shoes until I was 12 years old
>I always walked around with untied shoes and whenever someone noticed I always had to make an excuse to leave so that they wouldn't find out

>>35720961
When I was in eighth grade, I showed all the kids in my guitar class that I could suck my own dick.

>>35722700
I stripped naked to take shits up until like 18 yrs old, and I never use public bathrooms for shitting.

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>>35720961
>Let's post something embarassing about ourselves, because i need some laughing in my shit life.
I didn't cry at my mothers funeral because she was an abusive garbage hoarder who valued broken glass more than her own child, but I didn't have the heart to tell the family gathered there that I was glad she died, all of them treated me like shit because I refused to show any sympathy or emotion during my trip there, glad I won't be going back and have cut off all contact with them.

>>35723040
I had to tie my ex boyfriends shoe for fucking ever until I taught him how.
Also had to teach him to read, it was fun until we got into the more complex stuff (6th grade level) then I had to rat him out to the school.
Apprantly where he's from (some island) they do very little actual writing/reading.
I just couldnt get through to him after a while.

>>35723116
That's not embarrassing, that's just sad.

>>35722700
>>35723112
I still shit naked. It's comfortable, and nobody is going to see me, so why not? It probably helps that I don't eat much, I'm a consistent 53kg, so I don't need to shit very often. Once a day is usually enough.

>>35723040
I still can't tie my shoes, no one mentions though because no one talks to me

>>35723116
Same. Didn't show emotion to anyone. Mostly because my mom abandoned me and my dad to go live with my uncle, who had two new babies.
She decided to die taking care of babies who will never remeber her and I'm bitter about it.

>>35720961
I think I was about 12 when I stopped using a pacifier. It was incredibly hard to stop. I referred to it as my 'dodie.'

>>35723167
oh i also can't ride a bike or drive a car. i occasionally piss the bed as well. interestingly despite all these factors i'm not a NEET and am in a relationship.

I took a shit on a girl in pre-K

>>35720961
I have hemorrhoids, type 3. I had a banding procedure, but it hasn't done anything, so I'm likely going to have hemorrhoid surgery sometime soon.

And I think I have a pyloidal cyst. This one makes my butt wet and oozes some kind of foul liquid (maybe pus?), some times bloody that stinks very badly. I don't know if people can smell it even through my underpants and pants, but if they did, it would be awful

>>35723234
My bf pisses the bed, it'd not that wierd. I just change the sheets while he showers.

>>35720961
My only sexual experiences have been with a guy. I'm not even gay, I just had really, really low self esteem at the time.

>>35723252
more details please
oregano

>>35723280
they can smell it

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>too anxious to get haircuts
>haven't had a real haircut in 4 years
>the last time i didn't know what to say and she gave me the autism special and i looked like an idiot for months
>didn't want to admit i hated it so i let it grow out before cutting it myself

>can't drive a car because my attention span is that fucked

>am 20 and still have a hard time tying my shoes

>>35723324
Not that much to say
>little girl was a teachers pet
>always kicked me pinched me stupid shit
>teacher never believes me because I too was a little fucker at the time
>at nap time teachers all go in the break room for circle jerk
>get fed up with this girl
>impeccable 4 y/o decision making skills tell me this is a good idea
>drop pants
>shit on head
>run to the bathroom
>she starts screaming and stuff
>the teacher comes back in
>my friend tells the teacher I was in the bathroom the whole time
> they have no real evidence it was me
>???

>>35723119
>I just couldn't get through to him after a while

Holy fucking ouch.

>>35723411
what's the autism special?

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>>35722989
Same desu. My grandmother made me these two blankie things and I've had them ever since I was little and slept with them almost every nice for as long as I can remember. I still have them and hug them when I go to sleep. Now I'm so used to cuddling something when I'm going to sleep I feel uncomfortable when I don't have something to hug: it doesn't have to be the blankies, but I need *something.*

>>35723283
>guys who piss the bed have gfs

>>35723479
she left my bangs long and straight

looked like Jim Carey in Dumb&Dumber

>>35723415
that's what all roasties deserve

>>35723404
Very likely. Worst part is: I can't. So I don't know when it's acting up until I feel my ass is wet

>>35720961
I went to a music-oriented middle/jr/high school where we had to take music every semester up until our last year.

Anyways, on our first day of school, the teacher tells us to pick an instrument and that's what we'll be playing for years to come.

My mom told me to play the fucking flute since she had one at home, so being the good autistic mama's boy I went and picked the flute.


As we all took seats in our sections and settled down, the flute section was all girls except for me and a chubby asian kid. I thought hey that's not so bad, then chubby asian kid took one good look at me and said OH GREAT I'M THE ONLY GUY IN FLUTE SECTION.

I almost burst out crying right there and then. I was so sheltered I had no concept of banter, he ended up being all right but always busting my balls with top bantz.


Anyways the most embarrassing thing there was when I was like in grade 10. Chubby Asian kid was home sick or something and I never talked to any of the girl in my flute section. One of the hottest Staceys had forgotten her sheet music and she asked to follow along with me. Trying not to fart, I moved over a bit and stuttered something autistic.

We were playing along, and as I took a breath through my nose, a booger dropped down my nasal passage and down my throat. I could fight the gag reflex and immediately coughed into my flute that made a FOOOO-EEEEEEE sound. The booger somehow magically flew right onto my music sheet. She saw, there's no way she didn't see. She didn't speak a single word to me for the rest of the class or the rest of our school days ever.

>>35723525
I think it's cute? When he wakes up all ashamed and upset I just get up, help him take his cloths off, give him a towel and clean cloths for his shower then just throw the sheets in the first load. It makes me feel like a mommy and I secretly get kinda bummed when he goes weeks without an accident.

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>>35723531
lmao
I unironically had this cut when I was like 4

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>be me
>back in 5-6th grade.
>sometimes get bored in class while there is some other noise in class.
>would make some shit beat boxing sounds.
>would slightly wisper outloud "i should dub that"
>mfw back then I meant "make into dubstep" when I said "dub"
>mfw other people heard me say it at least once or twice.
Mfw (pic related) I realize what I did back then and how bad it was.

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>>35723679
that last line anon, kek.

>>35720961
Our older sister made my brother and I dress up in her bathing suit and underwear, do "funny" sexy poses, and she took a bunch of pictures. We were like 10 years old.


Thank Christ and Allah and Buddha that I'm old as shit and this was before smart phones and even digital cameras and the internet so there was only the single polaroids. My brother and I found them one day when we were like 17/19 and we burned them in the backyard.

>>35723816
my older sister used to make me play with her dolls with her and make them have sex with my action men. she's nine years older than me.

>>35722291
In Korea right?

>>35720961
Me too, technically my mom used to give me bath until i was 12

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>>35723816
>>35723874
>Used to have really long hair when I was a kid
>People used to think I was a girl
>Sister used to dress me up in girl's clothes
>Sister used to want to put make up and pretty clothes on me all the time for photography projects
>Used to fucking hate it
>Ten years or so later and now I want nothing more than to be a cute shota trap but I've turned into a gross hunk of man
Why didn't younger me appreciate what he had

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>>35723679
Here.
Have a (You).

You deserve it.

>>35723874
what da fugg :DDDD

how old were you two?

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>Couldn't order my own food at restaurants, talk with people on the phone, or do ANYTHING without being with my parents until I was 17.
They had to do literally everything for me.

>>35720961
This but only until 9 or 10

>>35720961
I'm 32 years old, still live at home, and my mom wouldn't let me do my laundry until I was about 28 or 29.

My father and I used to share the same bed, and once I figured out how to masturbate, I'd masturbate next to him. One time he even woke up, looked at me, and told me to go to sleep.

I had very little awareness of things I shouldn't have been doing when I was younger.

>>35723148

53 KG?? You must be super short to weight that little?