>parents just left >am going to be home alone for

>>35718285
Decorate the living room with pig innards to make it seem like you've killed yourself.

Edge for 13 days and release your load right before they get home.

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Install waterfilters

holy fuck same deal

I think ill spend a lot of time walking around the house naked and maybe rubbing my balls on some of moms things

>>35718285
Cum in your dad's underwear drawer.

>>35718285
Use this perfect opportunity to order dragon dildoes and invite your boyfriend home.

>>35718322

I'm tempted to walk around naked but I'm a germaphobe. I do not want too many germs on my skin

>>35718285
Stage a robbery with local organized crime syndicate, get a cut on the profit made plus insurance money, also have someone shoot you in a non-vital body part to avoid suspicion.

>>35718285
Vacuum the floor once every 3 days for 2 weeks and do the laundry once a week.

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>be 18yo friendless neet
>parents leaving for two weeks
>"anon, don't have any parties when we're gone ;)"

>>35718285
Start devising traps for when bungling robbers eventually try to break in.

>>35718285
Booby-trap the main passways and rig them with anti-tampering device, then accidentally trigger one yourself.

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>>35718285
why not have a house party?

>>35718455
Make it seems like there has been a party and have them find out that you did it to impress them.

>>35718285
rub your dick all over everything in the house

get an escort you dumbfuck

>>35718616

>Wow anon, who showed up to the party?
>u-u-hhh well... uh

>>35718616
but innevitably I'll fuck it up and they'll find out it was fake and then they'll decide to actually diagnose me with something

Invite your friends and throw a party dude

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Have a party with everyone in this thread and for bonus points fuck everything you see in the house OK op?

>>35718743
invite who exactly?

the closest thing I have to friends are IRC buddies and none of them are close

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straight up are there an socal robots who would wanna chill and smoke weed and reee about normies?

Listen to loud music and be naked.

Play lous porn and masturbate noisily

sng at the top of your lungs

>>35719543
neighbors might hear

"oh hey anonParent how are things"
"good!"
"oh cool...I was a bit worried, sounded like anon was going through a tought time"
"what?"
"YOUR SON IS AUTISTIC"