Is the concept of the 'friend zone' actually a thing

>>35704695
Friendzone describes the position of being attracted to a girl but having her only want to be friends, it seems rather interesting as a social phenomena.

>>35704695
It's actually a thing wherein a girl uses a male friend's affection to get him to do things for her (in exchange for false hope that they'll one day date).

It is real but everyone has different definitions of what it entails. For many girls the idea of the friend zone is when a guy who actually wants to fuck or date her just pretends to be her friend and then reveal that he actually views her romantically instead.

For many guys the idea of the friend zone is when a girl knowingly takes advantage of a guy's attraction to her and leads him on in the vague promise that they may date: either keeping him as a backup relationship or simply as a means of getting attention.

Ultimately I would say the friend zone does exist that it's mostly a relationship perpetuated by women. We can observe this in how men and women interact romantically. it's generally men who initiate romantic interest in a potential partners. What many girls don't understand is that if a man isn't attracted to them and they can't help in in some way then he's not going to go out of his way to talk to them at all. Friendship? He probably has male friends and if he doesn't then he's more likely to share common interests with men anyway. So if a man has gone out of his way to talk to a woman he hasn't met before and who he doesn't stand to benefit from then it doesn't take a whole lot of brainpower to suppose that he's most likely attracted to her/ The idea that the friend zone doesn't exist is just a collective delusion by women who believe themselves to be so interesting that random guys want to be around them for their company alone.

Now all of this isn't to say that men and women can't be friends. They can but in every case where a man and woman are friends it's always as an offshoot of another relationship. Say one of the is dating the other's friend. Men and women are biologically designed to find the other sexually attractive. If a man strikes up a conversation with a woman knowing nothing about her than how she looks then he almost certainly attracted to her and too many women ignore this fact.

>>35704695
It's real but if you're not a cunt about it you won't think about it much.

If you haven't been in a relationship before it's hard to gauge whether or not a girl is into you. If they do like you, their demeanor changes and it's pretty obvious that they are interested in you. If you don't have experience any sort of attention from a girl will look like interest. That's where guys get "friendzoned".

>>35705270
This guy gets it
>>35705380
You're assuming that only guys with no relationship experience get friendzoned, which is obviously false

>>35704695
It's real but it doesn't mean that it can't be overcome. Most of the beta fags on this board give up right away which is why they'll be virgins forever. face the fact that you aren't chad and work for it you cunts.

The friend zone actually is a thing but only betas allow themselves to be friendzoned.

>>35704805
>>35705270

The beta-bullshit-faggot part of all of this is that it is completely and totally the guy's fault.
A girl can only abuse the guy's affection so long as he's still hanging around. It's a man's responsibility to make his intentions known, without ambiguity, and either choose to kick rocks and keep it moving (ALWAYS THE RIGHT ANSWER, BY THE WAY) or accept her offer of friendship in good faith, and deal with the consequences of HIS OWN DECISION to remain platonic friends with no promise of a deeper relationship, in a rational and mature way.
It's not the girl's fault, the guys do it to themselves. It's hard to watch, my heart goes out for them, I want to grab them by the shoulders and shake them until they get some wits about them. But they make their decisions, you can't make them for them.

>>35705410
Do not listen to this anon. Beta-orbiting a girl in the hopes of getting out of the friendzone NEVER works. If you're there, you're there for life. Break it off and move on before life passes you by.

>>35705461
>It's ok to manipulate people because they really do it to themselves
t. Sociopathic roastie

File: bgfbe.png (397KB, 687x476px) Image search: [Google]

397KB, 687x476px

>>35705410
>face the fact that you aren't chad and work for it you cunts.

What an evil, toxic, cold-hearted lie to spread.
How dare you.
Do you have any idea how much pain is caused by this mistaken belief?

>>35705498
Fucking this. Relationships aren't fucking rocket science. Either you're good together or you're not. Constantly having to "work" for a girl means she's not your girl. Move. The. Fuck. On.

>>35705489

Not even fucking that
>it's ok to manipulate people because they let you do it

>>35705489
(generally speaking:)
You can get any specific kind of relationship you want, so long as you don't care who it's with.
You can get some kind of relationship with any person you want, so long as you don't care what kind of a relationship it is

But if you want a SPECIFIC KIND of relationship with a SPECIFIC PERSON, that's left up to fate. And if it's not to be, it's your responsibility to walk. This is a lesson to be taught to fellow men. Don't be an orbiter, make your intentions known, and if you face rejection, keep it moving, on to the next one. The other direction is only pain.

Also if you really hate women that much, just be respectful when you turn down their offer of "but we can still be friends", it'll hurt them. Men saying they were only interested in a romantic/sexual relationship and don't want their friendship, then leaving when they don't get it, is literally the female equivalent of being friendzoned.

>>35705489
>>35705566

It's not "okay" to manipulate people, but also, we're just men. We can't literally make them feel differently. The only actions, the only thoughts, the only emotions we control are our own.
You can't make women not be manipulative, you can only see that they're manipulative and refuse to have them in your life, and teach your fellow man to SEE their manipulation, and act accordingly, and leave.

The only other option is to willingly submit to being manipulated.

>>35705578
>It's your responsibility to walk
Fuck you. That doesn't justify women being shitty and manipulative. Yes, maybe men should walk away, but you cannot dismiss the fact that friendzoning is a tremendously damaging and awful thing to do to another human being.

>>35705619
My problem is how that anon absolutely refuses to hold women accountable when they're clearly part of the problem. You wouldn't blame a woman whose husband smacks her around because she stays with him, would you?

Yeah I'm stuck in it. Been almost 3 years, 2 since I asked if she wanted to date. She said thanks but not right now. See her probably every day which isn't good because I also think about her all the time. She always makes little jokes and remarks about us being together like when we walked through a park she said something about 'our kids'. She definitely uses me and I've said before we should hang out less because it fuck with me but nothing came of that.

In most scenarios, the guy just needs to start ignoring the girl and move on. My buddy had this happen to him. The girl was telling people she was into him. Word got back to him. he asks her out. She says she just wants to be friends. Then she flirts with him all the time afterwards. He smartly cuts her off and finds another girl. You're only in it if you want to be.
Young men need to be cold with their hearts. Too many of us are willing to give them to women who have no intention of reciprocating. Try not to get emotionally attached to girls before going out on a date. If it does happen where you have feelings and she's wishy washy, drop all contact.

>>35705746
I need to drop her from my life but it just isn't possible at the moment due to friend groups and situations. Maybe when I move city's it can change and I can be free.

>>35705627
I'd argue that the majority of "friendzoning" incidents are not nearly so machiavellian as you're imagining. It gets a lot worse than friendzoning, when you consider the damage they can do to a good man while INSIDE a relationship, histrionics and whatnot. Most friendzoning is just girls being oblivious to a guy's feelings, and the fact that women have a hard time making friendships specifically BECAUSE everyone is trying to fuck them, not be their friends. There are worse examples, but most people aren't THAT evil.

>>35705651
I wouldn't "blame" a woman for that, but I would say it's important for women to be educated on the telltale signs of an abusive partner, and to be given support (both emotional and otherwise) to avoid potentially abusive situations and get out of them if they've mistakenly gotten in too deep.
Which is really the equivalent of what I'm promoting for men. Both men and women do get caught in abusive situations, and that's tragic, but this is harm-reduction. Settle down.

File: IMG_3183.jpg (62KB, 599x393px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 599x393px

>>35705785
>Girls being oblivious to guys' feelings
>People aren't THAT evil
Oh my poor child you have so much to learn

>>35705785
I wouldn't place all the blame on my oneitis, but I made all my intentions clear and I was rejected. Not the end of the world but I have trouble getting over the delusion that one day she'll change her mind.

>>35705578
It's not always that clear cut. Sometimes I realize I've fallen for a girl only after months of honest friendhship. And then it's too late to "make your intentions known".
>>35705270
Good semantic analysis, thank you.
But
>If a man strikes up a conversation with a woman knowing nothing about her than how she looks then he almost certainly attracted to her and too many women ignore this fact.
That's not necessaliry true. I strike up conversations with women and men in the same way and I happen to be around women most of the time so most of my friends are girls.

>>35705817
>Add femanon
>Talk to her in hopes she'll develop feelings for her
>End up becoming her emotional tpon
>Repeat

L-life is good

>>35705838
Didn't mean to quote, etc etc.

>>35705719
Honestly mate you shouldn't see her that much anymore. It's really holding you back and you know this. Make an effort to try new things and meet new friends if you can.
>If a man strikes up a conversation with a woman knowing nothing about her than how she looks then he almost certainly attracted to her and too many women ignore this fact.
Don't just say it. Don't invite her to stuff and when she invites you give bullshit excuses half of the time. It's a language women understand.
Or if you're determined just cut contact.

>>35705838
Sort of like that, got really close to a girl, for the first time in my life, we did cute shit like staying round each others houses and falling asleep in each other arms. Fuck me for thinking that we were getting into a relationship right?

>>35705882
Hell, I'd even be happy cuddling. All the girls I talk to live a thousand miles away.

>>35705817
You have oneitis, yes, but are you still orbiting her? Is she still in your life? I understand getting hung up on someone but at very least you've put some distance between you and her, yes?

>>35705831
It's never really too late to make your intentions known. And the choice to either do so or not is ultimately your own. Either you choose to put your feelings out there and deal with the consequences (and I'd argue that this is the more honest way to be, I think it'd be dishonest to harbor feelings for someone and hide that from them, and lead to bad things in the end) or to genuinely accept that the friendship is truly worth not "risking it for something more", and to deal with those consequences of your decision. It is your decision either way, the consequences are yours to deal with.

>>35705882
Shit like this is why posts like >>35705461 are delusional. Women deliberately make you think you're developing a relationship, so what's the point of declaring your feelings explicitly? You're sleeping together already. That would just ruin the mood. The idea that men can know when they're being manipulated before it's too late is retarded.

>>35705907
We hide our feelings because we hope she'll eventually give some clear indication that she likes is back. When you only have one bullet, it's best to wait until the target is in your sights.

>>35705916
Yeah we had that 'what are we conversation' and she said just friends. That really hurt me to hear but it's supposed to isn't it? I probably stayed hung up on her for way too long after. First and only girl that's actually made me feel anything nice, doesn't matter it's just a matter of time till the next.

>>35705897
Yeah bro it was pretty fun.

>>35705916
You know it does go both ways, right? Casually seeing a girl without a defined relationship in place, one time after you're done having sex, she asks "so what are we doing here?", you have the "defining the relationship talk", and things go from there? Leading people on for the sake of getting what you want is not a distinctly female trait.

The idea that men CAN'T know that they're being manipulated before "it's too late" is idiotic. Too many men fall for it, that's why I'm trying to educate!

>>35705869
Definitely, just hard to do what with friend groups ect and living situations, I plan to move away and start University. So maybe then I'll cut them from my life.

>>35706022
>The idea that men CAN'T know that they're being manipulated before "it's too late" is idiotic
Lol so should we just assume every time a woman treats us with affection we're being manipulated? K.
Also casually hooking up with someone has very different undertones than falling asleep in someone's arms. Having relationships solely based on casual sex is commonplace nowadays. If a woman thinks every dude who fucks her wants to date her, that's her own damn fault.

>>35705942

There's a skill to be learned in knowing when and how to ask, but even at that, you're overthinking it. She likes you or she doesn't, and girls know within a few minutes of talking to someone whether or not they'd fuck them. You don't need to be a sniper, you just need to be able to hit the broad side of a barn. And if that shot doesn't work, your bullet was never big enough in the first place.

But what you say is also a GREAT excuse that men tell themselves, to put off taking the shot, and losing their shot. Careful your "one bullet" doesn't end up the same way as your 99 health potions you never used by the end of the game, for fear of "really needing them for some other time down the line"

>>35706064
Jesus Christ are you literally mentally incapable of reading social cues? I'm not that great at it myself, but being lead on is something that happens, it's not a gender-specific trait, learn to look out for the warning signs and learn to make a break when the outlook isn't good. Are you completely blind to the hypocrisy?
I'd say that in my initial post, saying that it's "entirely" the man's fault is not fully true, but the idea that men are helpless children who are left at the mercy of the teeming hordes of manipulative women is insulting and, ironically, childish. Men can't know when they're being manipulated? Are you an idiot?
You got lead-on. It happens. To everyone. We all (men and women) have our time occasionally wasted by people who are leading us on for their own benefit without offering much in return. Say a prayer for all the guys who got used as a shoulder to cry on in the hopes of catching some rebound, and spare a tear for all the girls who gave it up too early because they thought it might make the guy stick around. Men and women are not THAT different.

>>35704695
It's a beta nice guy excuse for dudes who approach a girl with romantic or sexual intentions but use friendship habits to get her guard down. It's mostly an unhanded tactic used by dudes who don't know any better or don't know how to do better.

>i got manipulated
>all women are manipulating liars
>i can't help that i was used and manipulated, i'm only

This reasoning where one takes the circumstances and skews them to seem most favorable to himself is how the "friendzone" is created.

>>35706202
I'm awkward around girls until I've known them for months, so showing romantic interest in one right off the bat would result in zero success.