How do you cope with the depression and suicidal thoughts fellow

>>35670188
Drugs here as well. What're you doing OP? Weed here.

Used to be drugs but now they won't prescribe me any of my medications.
So, nothing.
I'm probably going to kill myself.

>>35670188
I wrote a book where a minor character killed himself. There was an entire ceremony and the story just continued. It used to be drugs, but now I'm transitioning to shitty art.

>>35670188
>>35670381
Not OP but also drugs. Lots of booze, weed, and the occasional xanax.

Xanax and other pain meds take all the feeling out of this world and i love it

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>>35670574
For real anon, when I'm off a bar I literally feel like I don't give a fuck about anything, good or bad. I can see why people get addicted to it. It's pretty insidious because it doesn't make me feel super fucked up unless I take a lot of it; it just makes me feel fucking even-tempered, but I'm usually at such a low that being at an even temper feels amazing for me.

>>35670188
I don't
That's why I'm going to fucking kill myself

>>35670188
Intense daydreaming.

Also, dissociating myself from the world. Now my world looks like a 2d screen and pain has been severely lessened.

Feels good man.

Vidyas for days, makes me forget everything. I wanna try weed, but don't want to get addicted to it and waste The money's

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>>35670188
>>35670381
This, a fuck ton of weed and alot of jacking off

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>>35670708
How to do this?
I want to join your plane of existence desu

>>35670780
cleaning up, it makes me feel bad about using the gun, and I don't want to use anything else.

I also don't have a gun, or suicidal tendencies

>>35670833
Meditate on the emptiness in the room your in, and beyond. Become that emptiness.

It empties your being, and feels good too.

Warning: huge amount of existential dread before achieving total dissociation. Don't try in a room full of people. Trust me. Try it in an empty room with little things so there's no existential dread.

What will result is a wall between the world and your thoughts. You are thoughts viewing the world.

Well, I'm dissociated from the world, but my emotions still exist. I'm currently working on my emotions through "deciding" through my subconscious right now.

Emotions are a lot more intense. Try to relax at all times. But viewing anime is much more intense too.

>>35670967
Thanks anon, maybe I'll try this tonight

>>35670967
Don't worry, you can still talk and do things, but this will be your default sense of being for the rest of your life, so it's advised to work on your emotions next.

Basically, this exercise "expands" your attention to the entirety of space, which makes the world quasi-two-dimensional.

If you focus your attention, this state will be temporarily lost, but it will never be permanently gone.

Basically, the world and your thought become discrete. Instead of experiencing pain, you experience pain-touch and pain-thought, but since they've been separated, you won't feel stuff.

This is why emotions are more powerful. Since they only exist in thought-stuff. They are more vivid.

>>35671007
Important, don't just think it, assert it. Bend reality, make it feel like you are empty space. Don't just contemplate it.

>>35670188
Vidya, hurting myself, and sleeping.

>>35670708
I just imagine im a graphic novel character or something

My non primarily comic relief insanity keeps me satisfied when its too bad. I feel my character has interesting depth because of it.

Think uh, larry david, neil gaiman and mike mignola all doing a series about a schizophrenic

>>35670188
I don't.
I tried to kill myself a few months back by just heading into my favourite spot in the woods, drinking some vodka, taking some bloodthinners and slitting my wrists.
Some fucking cunt hiker decided to do his good deed for the day by 'rescuing' me like it wasb't perfectly obvious that this was what I was after.
Now I'm constantly surrounded by virtue-signaling assholes who 'check up' on me constantly to stop me from trying again, and they keep stealing any fucking meds I try to stock up on.

It makes me so fucking angry. None of them gave a shit before, now I tried to kill myself and they decide it's a whole new level of charity. No more giving things to people who want to live but can't: the time has come to FORCE PEOPLE TO FUCKING LIVE.

I can recommend slitting wrists in nature as a method though. I never felt as contented or peaceful as I did before and as everything faded to black.

Fuck, every time I think of those cunts it just makes me so angry.

>>35670780
I can't even get into vidya anymore it just doesn't captivate my attention like it used to.

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>>35670188
>How do you cope with the depression and suicidal thoughts fellow robots?
i dont

its bothering me right now and i feel restless

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Jacking off, used to smoke weed/drink, drown it out with vidya/good tv shows/movies. Nothing can completely make them go away though, and they always come flooding back to me at night when I have trouble sleeping and look back on shit.

>>35670188
I manipulate my food intake. The past fee months I have lost ~15 pounds from undereating. The past couple of days I have started to overeat like crazy. Looks like I am entering another cycle of binge eating

>>35672595

I understand this feel. I opened the artery in my neck with a steak knife. Blacked out, woke up in a hospital room, no idea how I got there. Got stuck in psych ward for two weeks, until I signed their stupid papers that said i agreed to go to counseling and all this other bullshit, otherwise would have been kept there indefinitely.

Nobody gave two fucks about me before, but suddenly all these strangers suddenly 'care' and won't leave me the fuck alone. Christ I wish there was a ghetto around here so I could get some gangbanger wannabes to murder me as some sort of right of passage.

I'll have to try the wrist thing in the woods though, will have to make it a couple hour hike just to make sure nobody finds me again.

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probably this year, tired of walking with a cane like a faggot old man and asking mommy to do things. I can never live alone or hold a baby. Tired of doing to physical therapy 5 days of week, waste of time because my life is shit. Fuck you faggots and your mental illnesses, you don't know what it's like when you can't take care of yourself

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>Early Teen years became depressed
>Played vidya to cope.
>Would play 6-8 hours a day
>Late teens it stopped working
>switched to lifting
>lifted 4 days a week
>Lifting stopped working when I turned 20
>Switched to music
>23 and it barely works now
>Now swap between reading and watching anime

I recently read Roy Baumeister's "Suicide as escape from self" and it describes me to the T. The desire to escape from harmful self-awareness is put of who I am.

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>>35670188
Drugs, to be more specific

>alcohol
>clonazepam
>tramadol
>weed
>weed edibles (lots of)
>acid
>MDMA
>2CB

Everything was fine since I started dropping acid, MDMA, weed, weed edibles + other random shit every weekend.

The MDMA and acid burns your brain to the point you go into a state of "everything is the worse it can be +1", until the "+1" becomes your new "normal", then it keeps going and going.

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Tell myself I'm a man and men don't need help or feel depressed

Meanwhile I'm dying inside but my misguided man pride won't let me tell anyone or ask for help

>>35675450
>>35675450
Gotta trick and corner yourself make your choice as A means to an end

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I distract myself and waste all my money on frivolous things like sex toys and vidya only to regret it later and tell myself not to do it again

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>>35672595
>the time has come to FORCE PEOPLE TO FUCKING LIVE.
Oh boy.
Iktf
Its a feel that taps things you didn't think yourself capable

>>35675490
Could you elaborate on that a bit?

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>he doesn't have a medical disease and is just depressed because his oneitis is fucking chad right now

>stay busy
>don't think about how I feel
>don't think about the past or future

The trick is disciplining yourself enough to avoid contemplation

>>35675598
Your man pride.
Who or what instilled it?

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>>35675608
>his pain is somehow less valid because you made an assumption

>>35675642
Id say my dad
Always told me not to act like a pussy

>>35675687
Any siblings?
Give me best and worst memories of father. No paraphrasing in your own words if you can.

Ill help with your reverse engineer but you gotta work with me.

>>35670188
I took Prozac for a couple months and that got rid of my suicidal thoughts completely. I stopped a couple weeks ago when I realized it made sex really boring and my suicidal thoughts haven't come back.

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>>35670188
I just want someone to hug me anons

>>35677835
R you a monster man?

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>tfw the girl I was talking to and that we were in love a few days ago told me to not talking to her anymore today

Why even live anons

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>>35670188
Lots of sex.

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>>35670188
>Develop a craft or a skill
>take on hobbies that condition your body and/or mind like physical fitness, reading, art, ect.
>start participating in groups that pertain to said crafts, skills, and hobbies to meet like minded people who aren't shallow
>donate your time working in a soup kitchen or with sick people to gain perspective on your life situation
>take lsd and play virtual reality waifu games

there you go, OP.

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>>35670188
I don't deal with depression, I just repress it

>>35677913
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE NORMIE GET OUT
oregino cemmento