Humblebrag thread? Post the greatest parts about your life and

>>35665233
And you screech at people like a fucking autist. You're weird, not funny

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>>35665233
>have a gf
>have a job
>have friends

>>35665233
>>35665436
You two can fuck off now thank you

>>35665416
Seems like you're experiencing some serious projection, anon. Care to share what went so wrong with your life?

I had sex in my life.

>Parents were smart enough to buy cheap property years ago
>Those properties have now duplicated their worth >Can live off rents comfortably without working a day in my life
Suck that wagecucks

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>>35665416
>>35665449
>Not even five posts in and two neckbeard robots are already flipping out
This is too good

I hugged a cute girl once when my father died

>>35665488
REEEEEEE FUCKING NORMIE THIS IS OUR BOARD. LEAVE NOW

no not really faggot you're not an epic troll or anything you're just an annoying faggot. Kill yourself

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>>35665539
We're hitting rage levels that shouldn't even be possible

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>>35665539
Are you mad you pathetic faggot? I fuck more girls in a year than you will in your whole life.

>>35665598
This isn't even humble bragging you're just an asshole who doesn't belong here

>>35665630
>He's an asshole because he fucks more girls than you
I don't think that's how it works, bud.

>I have a job lined up at for the rest of my life
>If I stay with UPS for another 39 years I can retire at 50
>If I wasn't a robot I would be able to support a family of nine like my dad

>>tfw about to inherit 200k from my grandparents
>tfw not poorfag enough to think this is a big deal
>tfw I have more than that in liquid savings and too lazy to even invest them properly

>>35665649
Any anons feeling generous ?I have my first interview for a big company, currently I live with 200euros a month because my country sucks ass and I can't afford a cheap suit so I can make a good impression. I can't go wearing a tshirt. My friends don't have either and it's expensive as hell to rent one, I'm better just buying a shitty one

>>35665580
The fact that I'm typing in lowercase should signify that I'm not mad at all. Stupid AND fail troll. How shameful.
>>35665598
No you wont

>>35665649
>Straw man
He's an asshole because he brags about it

>>35665703
Then what the fuck are YOU doing in this thread? Oh right, you're here to get pissed off and for us to laugh at you. Stay mad.

>>35665680
>n- no you won't!! B-b-baka!
Nice response you fucking punk. I can't wait to cuck you and make you raise my kids.

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i took a sick day and TWO (2) coworkers texted me to ask if I had killed myself
people really DO care

>>35665649
Here, you dropped this. Try and stay calm and make a thoughtful argument next time

Im 6'7 and about to inherit $201k from my grandparents. Eat shit op

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>>35665743
Forgot pic. Now I made myself look like an autistic.

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>>35665743
>>35665789
But he is better than that other guy though.

>6'4
>went on a date with my oneitis that went really well
>got a new job at 120k/yr

things are starting to look up

Pros:
>6 foot 4 inches.
>Deep voice.
>Bright blue eyes.

End.

Cons:
>I drink on a very regular basis, history of alcoholism and early heart disease in the family. I will die young.
>Bipolar.
>Obese.
>Constant back pain and a god awful posture (might just be the obesity).
>I don't understand how to hold onto a friendship.
>Constantly having suicidal thoughts.

And many more.

>>35665869
Nobody cares about your personal problems, faggot.

>>35665727
>>35665649
>>35665721
The samefagging is strong, why do you feel the need to comment your own thread so often?

>>35665853
Objectively better. If more women sleep with you, it means you are a superior human being.

>>35665927
This. There's a reason why virginity is such a detriment for guys. It signals that no woman wants to be with you.

>>35665233
>6'1"
>7" penis
>stay at home dad
>wife makes $125k/year
>also has DD tits

I literally just make dinner every day and clean for like 20 minutes and then play vidya the rest of the day.

>>35666267
How does it feel to be the bitch of the relationship?

>6'2
>7.75" x 5.8" cack
>very intelligent
>nice skin
>great immune system

Life is pretty decent

Pros:
>Skinny and getting muscular now I am lifting
>Own a 1/3 of my house (50k) and have other wealthy relatives
>Love every part of my life apart from one aspect (Crippling loneliness)

Cons:
>No friends apart from my brother and cousin mostly due to choice
>No GF and not much opportunity since no friends
>Job is easy but low paying

>>35666299
Checked
Also, he has it made. Whats there not to envy.

>>35665436

What do you do when you have achieved what you want i.e. getting gf, Good Job etc?

Getting a gf seems like the end goal for me, it seems so unachievable it seems like a life goal. If I do actually get a gf it might break me and I find that even getting a gf won't make me happy and content.

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>>35665233
That's not a humblebrag. That's just a brag

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>>35665233
>100% Italian

Feels good. Ideally finding a guy who is the same so we can have little Italian children would be nice, but in this generation it's hard. Everyone is mixed with something. As long as they're white I don't care.

>>35666492
>tfw no gf who wants to preserve her racial purity
Now even I'm envious

>>35666492
Glad you think like that and care.

>>35666920
>tfw can't be gay on a faggy/robot board without some idiot assuming you're female

>>35666941
Anon, you can't have children if you're gay.

>female
>not fat
>attractive enough that when I go out with my bf, drunk men yell things that imply they think I'm too good for him
>excellent grades in a STEM program
>good relations with friends, family, bosses and professors
>financially competent
>honest and a great communicator
>blonde hair and blue eyes
>have a sweet, genuine face that makes most stranger instantly favorable of me
>cute enough that I don't have to waste any time putting make up on
>boyfriend is amazing
>generous lover
>knows me like he knows himself and vice versa
>we often don't have to finish sentences because we know exactly what the other will say
>loves when I cook for him, I love cooking for him
>he's masculine and hard working and assertive
>play video games and watch anime together every day
>working on moving out and talk of marriage

life is good for a humble roastie like me.

>>35667263
Christ, how the hell did you find your way here? That's like the dream life.

>perfect male height (6'1/186cm)
>perfect denture
>handsome face
>but fat and autistic

>>35665233
>tfw 6'3
>tfw about to inherit 136k from grandparents
I'm you, but weaker

send me like 15 OP, its all I need to start my fortune

bad:
no friends
no gf
everyone ghosts me for no reason
poor even though i work full-time
27 in community college
virgin

good:
6'3'
white
handsome
talented artist

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>Live at home with parents
>Currently going uni to get loan money, they don't care if i fail but want me to try and stay in so i get more loan money so i have a few years easy not working 24/7
>Pay 25 rent a week
>Rest goes on pub and weeb stuff
>Currently planning a trip to Tokyo for a week, paid for by uni loan money, will also be able to do this every 3-4 months when i get paid more loan money
>Work part time every Saturday getting 80 for the day
>Saturday work pays for my bus to uni rent and pub for the week
>Only go 2 days to uni as that's what's scheduled and leave half way through the day or first lesson

>5'7" 55kg somewhat trap tier body
>Long hair
>Got mistaken for a girl everyday at school through highschool and still so sometimes today
>People look at me funny when i go in public toilets
>Kind of nice knowing i could probably trap if i wanted but not gay so don't care

I have a lot of free time just watching anime, playing the odd game and going to the pub and laughing and joking with a bunch of 40+ year old men about tech, their youth and science

Shits pretty comfy atm and I've got another 3 years of it until i leave uni and get a full time job hopefully

>>35667686
Also

>On good terms with my parents and they aren't dicks so it's not that bad at home

>>35667339
my parents have constantly fought with each other and are emotionally abusive towards me since as long as I can remember so it fucked me up a bit and I've wanted to kill myself since I was 12. I hate people, especially women, including myself, I hate society, I hate normie interests and memes and behaviour. I'm a recluse for the most part due to my own choice. I don't enjoy anything.
I don't know how to fix it because my life is "perfect", so how can I improve it?

short answer: I found my way here because I'm crazy like all women

>>35666299
Lol. Is that grape jelly?

Nice, i killed another thread

I have a lot of friends IRL
I am a very decent vocalist of a very decent metal band
Very handsome (9/10)
Can't remember a girl that I desired (wich are a lot) that I haven't at least kissed
Use cocaine but not addicted
Everyone says I'm funny

Those are the good things, now for bad... I can say I'm poor, I don't do well with my family, Have big issues with self-esteem, and a lot of other things that are not the point of the thread, so I won't list them.

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>>35665233
>tfw cute caring Christian gf for almost three years now
>tfw women are nice to me in Uni

>>35665233
>6'2"
>grandparents lowkey rich
>uncle with no kids lowkey rich
>have a decent paying job
>have friends at uni and back home
>/fit/
>blond, blue eyes
>intelligent

I just get nervous talking to girls sometimes, you guys understand that!

>>35667822
Fair enough.
>oregon