I honestly can't tell if I'm a Chad or not. "Cyborg"

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I honestly can't tell if I'm a Chad or not. "Cyborg" doesn't seem to cut it. I want an explanation from /r9k/.

>actually, literally autistic, mild speech impediment, serious sensory processing issues, stimming, ADHD, autism tiptoe walk, etc.
>5'8" and 108 lbs.
>actually use piss bottles sometimes, clothes frumpy and dirty most of the time, pick nose and spit loogies in public, smell like cigs and weed 24/7, often wear ratty New Balance sneakers falling apart at the seams, get food all over myself when I eat and don't notice for hours, smoke butts off the ground and out of ashtrays in plain view
>weeaboo with a huge /co/ streak; primary media diet is children's cartoons; musical taste often compared to a woman's
>daily 4channer for like a decade at this point, slob, floppy, awkward, etc.
>burp loudly in public

>somehow a pussy magnet on par with a harem protag since day 1; got a blonde ballerina gf on the first day of pre-k
>girls are nothing but nice to me and always have been; fucking showered with kindness and flirtation and support from these wonderful creatures my whole life for nothing in return and often at a cost to them
>free rides, copied homework, money, food, free drugs and cigs, etc.
>they go out of their way to accomodate my sensory issues and apologize without being asked if they make a loud noise or something instead of picking on me
>apparently I'm "cute" and flat-out get called an alpha

I know Chad can get away with anything, but I can't actually be Chad if I have every robot trait except virginity.

Explain this shit. Not even trying to humblebrag; this flies in the face of what I know from /r9k/ and is genuinely confusing to me. Apparently I'm hot shit or something. Is there a robo-chad?