>You're jerking off to Mass Effect sfm in your basement

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>>35643998
Slap his mother's deceased grandson

>>35643998
Wonder when I got a girlfriend.

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Shed a single tear as I continue to jack off. Proceed to repeat every day for 24 years.

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>>35643998
>Be me
>jacking off to Mass effect sfm
>About to cum
>Suddenly feel the cries of a lady 1,500 miles away
>Get up and waddle through piss jugs
>Reach for my limited edition, MLP Friendship is magic fedora
>Pick up my phone and call for the autism initiative
>Autistic screeching begins from the neighbors basement to the alleyways of Detroit.
>Fellow autists gather and storm club Normie
>Stand in the corner for an hour, too anxious to make a move
>Finally I see the lady is screaming for help, by uttering the words, "Wanna go to my place"
>With a victorious REEEEEEE we storm the horde of chads
>Even though we outnumber them, 1000 to 1 we are too scrawny or fat
>In minutes they beat the living shit out of all of us
>With my final breaths, I tip my fedora summoning my piss jugs from the depths of atheist hell.
>All the chads become covered in my peepee juice
>Those that do not drown try to escape
>Before i leave i see the floating body of the rescued lady
>She doesn't thank me
>Bitch must be sleeping
>Before I leave, I tip my fedora, my words reverberating across the room
>M'Lady. The walls start to collapse but bounce off my healthy 600 pound body
>After rolling back to my basement with everyones eyes on me, probably due to my now heroic status, I struggle to fit through the front door and then roll down the stairs
>I return to my basement and continue jacking off to mass effect sfm

>>35644988
quality posting anon

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>>35644988
I don't know who's more autistic, the cartoon version of you in this story, or the real you, who spent far too long writing the gayest shit I've seen all day.