>this is your captain speaking, we've lost power to all

Fucking find something sharp to stab into my brain as soon as possible as this is my worst goddamn fear

>>35629002
I flew twice today and I couldnt stop thinking about plane crashes :^)

> Run to the back of the plane
> Post in the first r9k thread asking to rate my situation.

>relax
>the suffering will finally end

Ask all the girls for sex before death, they will still say no though

Beat the fuck out of the captain for fucking up, while simultaneously raping an air hostess. Then, I will simply find an American passenger, rip their quadruple extra large t-shirt off their back and use it as a makeshift chute there by allowing me to land safely, and with an extra notch on my bed post and entry into the mile high club.

It's a win win for me.

Jump to safety just before the plane hits the water.

>>35629160
>AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH THE PLANE IS GOING DOWN
>RIOTTTTTT
>FUCCCCCCCCCCK
>I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
>*NNNEEEEEEEOOOOOOOWWWWWW*
>meanwhile anon is somehow relaxing

>>35629180
Sounds like the best choice tbqh.

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>>35629180
sixth post ichiban

>Remove the flotation device from beneath my seat and equip it
>Brace myself against the seat in front of me
Going down over the ocean honestly wouldn't be too bad crash-wise provided the wing flaps that increase drag still functioned.

>>35629002
enjoy the panic around me. Resign myself to death. Probably get annoyed at all the panic after about 10 seconds.

>>35629187
Im not an expert on the topic but im sure that hitting the water at that speed of fall would kill you inmediately

>>35629002
>over and out

This pisses me off so much

OVER is when you're done talking on a radio and you expect a reply from whoever you were talking to.

OUT is when you're done talking on a radio and you don't expect a reply from whoever you were talking to

So as you can see, over and out is meaningless and is never said except by idiots.

>>35629002
I've never been on an airplane before, but I've worked at an airport.

I'd probably follow all water-landing procedures.

>>35629002
Begin furiously masturbating

>>35629002
Get up, whip off pants, and start doing the helicopter. Maybe scream something about allah for max panic points.

Show my Nintendo Switch to the next passenger and say he caused the infetterence. Hopefully they will rescue me.

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>>35629002
Kill myself before gravity can kill me. Only faggots die to gravity.

>>35629002
Grab onto Bane.

>>35629002
Honestly crash landing on water is a better chance of survival assuming the Captain does his job correctly. The problem is surviving after the crash. You will need some debris to hang onto.

Why don't they just give everyone parachutes and have them jump out?

>>35631346
Most planes have life jackets under your seat. The worry isn't hanging on to debris, its the time it takes for rescue to arrive.

>>35629002
Accept death as quickly as possible and try to relax. That or scream and cry like a bitch.

>>35631374
>>give everyone parachutes and have them jump out?
>we are over the atlantic

start singing that bright eyes song about this exact situation

>>35631374
9/10 people don't know how to use a parachute also
>>35631425

>>35631425
parachutes that helps you float in water

>>35629002
Hope I die immediately on impact.

>>35629002
>atlantic

That's a medium body plane. They don't fly those over the Atlantic. You have never been on a plane, have you?

>>35629195
that's what earphones are for, anon

>>35629002
Jack off until we crash.

I would rape a qt before we all die

Heck, I would imagine there would be an instant orgy in that situation, since it would be the last fuck they will ever have

Announce to the whole plane that I do not want to die a virgin and ask for help

>>35631175
Maybe don't get on a plane with an idiot pilot and you wouldn't have died then, faggot.

>Put on headphones
>put on something
>shill for plane wifi and make an FB post telling them I'm about to die and let everyone know I love them, and I've forgiven those who've hurt me, and ask those who I've hurt to forgive me if they can
>smile, realize i finally get to see what death is like after 4 suicide attempts, and there's a slight chance I might survive.

I guess I'd be really pissed off about all the video games I'll never get to play, other than that not particularly care

>>35629002
more like
>cabin and crew, prepare for emergency landing

Life isn't a movie you flaming faggot

>>35631690
This. The plane won't drop from the sky just because the engines fail.

>>35631706
Then why don't they just turn the fucking engines off on every flight to save fuel? Fucking retard.

>>35631722
This.
Planes can come in any shape, because they don't glide.
It's the engines that make them fly!
:^)

>>35631722
The plane will fall gradually you mong

>>35630134

No, you jump right before the plane hits the ocean.

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>>35631273
>he doesn't know
Sad. Many such cases.

>>35629002

Start humming the theme to Curb Your Enthusiasm.

i would probably just have one last fap in the bathroom of the plane

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>>35629002
>mfw very smug smile on face
>go to emergency door and open it
>no survivors

here's something relevant to this stupid thread

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Air_Transat_Flight_236

this plane literally lost all engines while flying over the atlantic

it landed safely at an airport in the azores because the crew knew what they were doing (the pilot was a glider pilot in his spare time)

there's also this older plane thing where a plane ran out of fuel mid-flight and had to glide to a safe landing on an empty racetrack
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gimli_Glider

here's another: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scandinavian_Airlines_Flight_751
in this one the engines iced over, then the ice broke off and fucked the internals of the engine up

fun fact: wikipedia has incredibly detailed articles on literally every plane crash and has lots of pages that exist exclusively to organize the rest of the plane crash section

>>35631425
>>35631456
doesn't matter at all. you'd be going so fast you would die as soon as you step out the door. nobody understands how slow a plane needs to go for a safe jump to be made

>>35631722
>>35631743
>Planes can come in any shape,
Yeah, they come in any shape: that's why some are box shaped and some are saucer shaped, you also have the cat shaped ones. Not like they are all sharpened cylinders with wings attached.

> because they don't glide.
Any plane with engines off is still a glider.
Aerodynamic, control surfaces you can actuate even without engine power (via APU power or manual control) = glider.

An average commercial airplane at 10k will be able to glide for 100-200km. It can still perform a controlled landing.

>>35629286

the plane will crumple like your skull hitting concrete

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>>35631935
CongratuIations!
You win the retarded autist award for outstanding shitposting!

>>35631878
>go to emergency door and open it
Not possible while in flight.

>>35631910
>>35631910
>you'd be going so fast you would die as soon as you step out the door.
Not saying it isn't a retarded idea: but if the plane had parachutes for every passenger it could slow down to a reasonable jump speed on flaps.

If that became a standard practice (which of course would be retarded:) During the cold war lots of Russian civilian air-liners had special devices - basically long semi-rigid tubes, that allowed them to be used to air-drop troops in case of war even at relatively high speed from the side doors.

>>35631973
>not memes, or trolling = autism
kys you mongoloid

>>35632025
Not understand jokes makes you autistic

>>35629002
Rape the first semi attractive girl I see nearest to me

I WILL NOT die a virgin

>>35632064
>A white knight defends her honor until you're all dead
GG

>>35632035
>Not understand jokes makes you autistic
I've come across so many retarded posts that turned out to be honest, that the line becomes kind of blurry.

>>35632075
this, that would instantly turn into a bigger problem than the fact that you're all about to die.

>>35631973
But he's the one making the most sense here