>be me >Fat, 23, unemployed, slowly congealing into a

Yes, I want to know if she's cute or not.

>>35628910

No, kys. Fucking subhuman piece of shit

>>35628979
Ask and ye shall receive
>Wait for about half an hour
> She shows up
> 8/10 brunette
> Wearing simple red dress
>Allofmyspaghetti.webm
>She walks over to me
>"Hi, you must be anon,right?"
>Y-yeah
>"Hi nice to meet you, your mom told me all about you"
> She sits down and we talk(mostly her while I'm sweating bullets over in my overstrained seat)
>Shes a nice girl she teaches yoga and shit like that
>Pretty soon the waiter comes over and gives us our menus
> Scan through menu
>Don't see anything equating to chicken tenders or pizza
>Ask waiter what he recommends
>Says that the best thing would be would be the beef tongue.
>Without thinking I say that fine.
Contd

>>35629246
I know this isn't real but so far funny, continue.

>>35629246
More.


Orgy in my anus till it prolapses

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I have no idea why I would want to hear more of this mundane LARP but keep going I guess, gonna be reaalll disappointed if the Fresh Prince or some equally unsatisfactory ending occurs.

>>35629246
> Just ordeed food
> Go back to conversation
> "So anon what do you do"
>Ohfuck.psd
>make up some bullshit job
>" O-Oh I'm just a IT supervisor that's all"
>Ramble on about all the important shit I do
>"Wow anon your job seems pretty hectic"
>Being to feel a little better about self
>Yeah it's pretty important"
>Food comes around
> Big slab of meat on my plate
>Ohfuckyeah.gif
>Take a bite
> Pretty good
>Ask waiter what slice of meat this is
>Beef tongue
> Realize what I'm eating
>Spit it out all over the table
>Even more realization
> Gag reflex kicks into high gear
>I throw up all over the table.
>Apology chunks of chips ahoy and beef jerky litter the table
> The dusts ettles and everyone is staring at me
>Date looks over
>Visible shock
>She starts to gag as well
> Throws up on ground beside table
>So publicly humiliated, that I run home to mom
>Get call the next morning
>"Anon you have a voicemail"
>It's date from last night asking if I'd like to join a yoga class
Tfw my mom was trying to get me into a fucking yoga class
Tfw I'm still not done

>>35629571
>he has a problem with exotic meats
Fucking pleb.

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>>35629571
HOLY FUCKING KEK.
I havn't laughed like this in weeks anon.
Kek bless.
Thank you for this glorious post.

>>35629670
>beef tongue
>exotic

fucking americlap.

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>>35629571
>free meal and attempt to sign you up for 10 class private training package
fucking roasties man

>>35629571
>A few weeks pass and I still haven't responded to her yet.
>Just still I'm my cozy basement dwelling
>Mom comes down to talk to me
>"Anon there's someone at the door for you"
>Come up to see who it is
>It's her
>"Hey anon how are you"
>Kneesweakarmsspagehetti.wav
>"Umm good"
>We talk for a few minutes
>"So anon... I still teach my yoga classes and the deal is still on the table"
>Umm okay.
>So I join her class the next morning
>Lots and lots of staceys and a couple of chads there
>Start sweating again
> "Hey anon it's great to see you!"
>I nod akwardly and get a couple of sideways glances
>"Well your just in time"
>Do yoga
>Holyfuckinghell.exe
>This is the hardest shit ever
>I sweat so profusely that I slide straight off the mat
>Repeatedly
>Get to a resting position
>Think we're done
>"Alright that was a great warm-up"
>Shit

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HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH YOGA KYS LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>35629858
>Finished the class
>Literally feel like I am about to die
>Go to the vending machine to get a Pepsi
>"So anon what did you think of class?"
>Told her I felt like I was going to die
>"Well this was our advanced session anon"
>fuck
>"We have a beginner's session on a different day of you'd like"
>That sounds good
>Go to it a couple days later
>Pregnant mom's as far as the eye can see
Tfw I'm equivalent to pregnant women
>Do the beginners class
>Still hard but not nearly as nut-wrenching
>Go to a couple more classes
>Feelsgoodman
>She comes up
>"So are you gonna stick to the classes?"
>Why not
Contd

Finish the story you walking talking Twinkie, does it end with you losing weight? I hope so

Why am I keeping this thread updated and checking back on it even though I can easily know the story is fake? Why?

FINISH THE FUCKING STORY COCK SUCKER

>>35630034
Please continue.

Preemptive whoriginal.

>>35630034
>A few months go by still in yoga
>Lost about 25 lbs.
>Still beginner's class though
>At the end of class one day she comes up to me
>"Hey anon I see you are looking better"
>Ohfuckyeah.png
>"That being said, I need some help"
>"To run this place takes a lot of money and I need some help"
>Obvious bait
>Baittaken.mp4
>Sure how much you need?
>About 1000 dollars she says
>Go home
>Sell my rig
>Give her money next day
>Thanks anon your the best
Tfw I almost became a normalfag there

no one in the world is this nice or helpful

>>35630184
>And then I got sucked into a wormhole

>>35630222
Oh go fuck yourself, atleast make the story seem somewhat real

>>35630222
What? Is that the end?

>>35630222
>More time passes
>Lost even more weight
>Around the 270 mark
>Moved out of mom's apartment
>Got a job as a bagger at Kroger
>Feeling alot better
>Doingood.bat
>Come in the next day
>Come in everybody is waiting
>Wait for her
>3 hours pass
> She didn't show up
>FF a couple of weeks
>Still no sign of her
> Watching TV one day
> Shes on TV
> Says she convicted of fraud and put in jail
>Suddenly the phone rings
>It's her in jail
>"H-hey anon-"
>Hang up
>Hoped on my phone's just to tell this story
>I bid you adieu
Tfw you sat through this for nothing

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>>35629571

its all your mom's fault

>>35630450
6/10 story fell off at the end

>>35630450
Atleast you lost weight, keep doing that.

>>35628910
>putting this much effort into made up bullshit


Kill yourself, subhuman shit pile

>>35630450
fake and gay not original

>>35630450

here's a (You) for your troubles, I guess

all in all it was p bad, you lacked the detail to get your reader engaged

it felt more like you were doing it because you had to rather than because you wanted to, which doesn't make any sense because the story is fiction

for the next time, you need to spend more time developing the girl's character, your relationship with her, and your character

you need to make it sting when she disappears, and I would personally have had some other person in the yoga class that you can use to reinforce the shock of her disappearance

the pacing was bad too, you had the climax and the resolution in the same post. you need to wallow in that shit for a good few posts before you wrap it up, or end it on walking the dinosaur

2/10, not good

>>35630450
Can you even call people from prison?