>feel suicidal >start planning things >write suicide

>>35623348
If you want to die, do so heroically. Use the fact that you are not afraid of death in advantage of helping someone else

>>35623348
yeah, thing is, if you'd wanted to do it, you'd already had. all this, this is just attention seeking.

>>35623508
But I hate people. And I am not afraid of being dead, but I am afraid of dying. So if I have any control over my death, I'm gonna choose a quick method.

>>35623577
The attention seeking might even be subconcious tho

>>35623577
>IF YOU BUY A SHOTGUN AND PLAN TO KILL YOURSELF, THEN YOU'RE JUST ATTENTION SEEKING BECAUSE YOU WOULD HAVE DONE IT BEFORE NOW IF YOU REALLY WANTED TO DIE :(
What sorta dumbfuck logic is that?

OP is getting a shotgun. He plans to kill himself. He has everything ready so he can die.

How can you say "WELL IF YOU REALLY WANTED TO DIE YOU WOULD HAVE DONE IT BY NOW" when OP is in the process of doing it?

"hey man i can see you have a gun in your mouth but you know what? I think you're attention seeking because if you really wanted to die, you would have done it some time before now"

fucking idiot. you should be the one killing yourself. idiot

>>35623577
dude has a complete fucking plan and you say he is attention seeker, rly

>>35623803
>>35623818
I dont see him acting out his plan, just telling anons how he is "going to end it". Thats what they all say.

>>35623932
>everyone who has made a suicidal gesture has said they're "going to end it"
>everyone who has actually committed suicide has also said they're "going to end it"
>therefore because OP said he's "going to end it", he must be a fibbing faggot who is merely pretending
Nice 1

>>35623348
OP, do you know how a body looks after a shotgun blast?


I knew a dude had attempted to off himself with a shotgun, when the mergency services were called 10 minutes later he was still twitching and gurgling in pain. He is still alive but looks like a Dr Seuss character.

>>35624056
>OP, do you know how a body looks after a shotgun blast?
Yeah seen loads.

>He is still alive but looks like a Dr Seuss character.
Must have done it wrong, then. If you use buckshot/slugs and put the barrel in your mouth and aim up, there is nothing that can go wrong.

If you use birdshot or aim at your jaw, then you can fuck it up.

>>35624002
you tell me what the point of telling us "I'll kill myself, and have an idea of how I'll do it" is then. not to be remembered, thats for sure, then he'd post something personal. does he have the gun yet? "I've applied for a license". No. Is is gonna happen on webcam for morbid anons entertainment? Post link.

>>35624129
>HE NEEDS TO HAVE A CLEAR, IDENTIFIABLE REASON THAT WOULD BENEFIT HIM TO POSTING WHY HE IS GOING TO KILL HIMSELF
Why are you so in denial that OP may very well be legitimately intending to kill himself? Why does OP need to tell you why he is posting on here?

People make threads on this board and the entire post is ">tfw no belly gf". I don't see you in those threads saying "OP WHY DID YOU MAKE THIS THREAD? FOR WHAT PURPOSE? TELL ME!" yet OP tells us his story about his plans to commit suicide, and you jump on him and act like he's a faggot who's just lying and leading us on a ruse cruise?

Suicide is the leading cause of death for males in their 20s. OP most likely fits that. This shitty board is also correlated with depressed people. OP has a plan, a suicide note, and a highly lethal method. Everything would point to this being a legit poster. If he said "omg im so sad im gonna overdose on vitamin tablets ;'(" then yeah, that's just attention-seeking. But he isn't saying that.

Fact of the matter is that I can bet your ass that at least 99% of people who commit suicide tell at least one person about their plans before doing so. I guarantee it. Maybe OP has no one to tell, but feels the need to tell at least someone? Maybe he wants to see what the people here think? You want to know what he benefits from posting his "genuine" suicidal thoughts here, but lemmie ask you: what does he benefit from attention-seeking? Your silly little fallacy goes both ways you fucking idiot.

I don't know his reason. But saying "well if you ever say you are going to kill yourself, then you are just lying" is some no true scotsman shit right there.

>>35624338
>Maybe he wants to see what the people here think?
and I told him. and now you're giving me shit, and being all high and mighty about it.

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>>35624531
>YOU'RE AN IDIOT WHO ISNT GOING TO KILL HIMSELF STOP POSTING HERE AND STOP LYING. EXPLAIN WHY YOU MADE THAT POST!
Hey man what's your problem? He's just posting on r9k
>LOL IM JUST TELLING HIM WHAT I THOUGHT MAN! YOU CANT STOP ME! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT! I DONT NEED TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO YOU!

Whoah all right little man. You sound a bit triggered. Did mommy burn your tendies? Go cry about it in a thread where someone gives a fuck.

>>35624621
see, if you make up what I'm saying, it totally makes sense. you keep at it. maybe one day you bein a white knight will pay off.

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>>35624684
>y-you're wrong! you are m-making things u-up! h-here's a list of examples where you made stuff up:
>
>
>

>>35623348
how old are you? got family?
have you tried religion?

>>35624724
it's allright, anon, you can have the last word, I know it means a lot to you.

>>35624752
I'm 27.

I live far away from what family I have left. I haven't spoken to any of them in years. My mom died last year.

I'm not religious at all.

>>35624780
FAG NIGGER FAG NIGGER FAG NIGGER FAG NIGGER FAG NIGGGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

>>35623348
I'd advise you to not fucking kill yourself but if you are actually thinking about suicide your life must be pretty fucked. I'd recommend that you at least OD on heroin not only will it feel fucking amazing it will be painless and you can have an open casket.

Hey op, sorry everyone is shitting up your thread. But we can't have nice things unless we earn them for our self with our own hands, even then, we must protect what is special to us by ourselves first. It's only natural that what includes other people turns to shit when we are seeking the answers among others who are also lost, who the majority have never gone much further than you. Forget about everything, if you've never found peace among yourself I gotta recommend trying at least once. Be prepared, but travel lightly, just worry about what the day brings as it does, not the horrors of an unknown tomorrow. Make a change, whatever you can tolerate, but blowing your brains out to find out what's next is quite a gamble I'd say.

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i am a crisis counselor at a suicide prevention hotline in the US.

the fact that you're coming here to talk about your plan suggests ambivalence towards living.

maybe my time on as a counselor has left me jaded but sometimes i really wonder what you and other people are hoping to accomplish by telling me that you're going to kill yourself.

it's a little on the counter-intuitive side to reach out to someone to discuss killing yourself, only to turn it into a "i don't need any help, etc." thing.

i'm not going to convince you one way or the other. if you truly feel that this is your best option, then that's your choice. I will say that a large percentage of people who have chosen less immediate means of killing themselves (jumping is slower than gunshot because of fall-time) immediately regretted it upon beginning the action.

my advice would be to do something exhilarating and then ask yourself if you're still suicidal (riding a bike downhill, running, speeding when driving, etc.).

>>35623348
Do it Infront of allot of people.

>>35624944
My Uncle killed himself and sent notes out to his family.
My mom was never the same after that.
She completely broke as a person.

>>35624944
also, just to pick your brain before the cops do, I wanna ask what's the immediacy in killing yourself?

it's not like it's a time-based method, like a train. by having a shotgun you have an express pass to death, which you can use at any time.

is there something you're avoiding in the future that you'd rather be dead for when the time comes? court date, break-up anniversary, homework, etc.?

if there's no sort of impending doom, what's the harm in sticking around for a little while longer?

>>35625098
it sounds like the note-sending was after the event took place. if the notes were read after the fact, then he went out in silence, and didn't grandstand before killing himself.

>>35624870
I've been up and down that type of thinking. It has its pros and cons. But it doesn't really work that well for me. I don't mind being dead. I imagine it as being very similar to what life was like before I was born. A whole lot of nothing.

>>35624944
Yeah of course I want to live. No one truly wants to die. It's a tough decision and what awaits me during and after my final moments is uncertain. It's quite scary. But I know that death is the only way out of feeling like this, so I have to grow a pair and accept that I'm gonna have to off myself.

I made this thread because I'm sitting here, bored. I've got suicide on the mind as always, so I thought I'd make a thread about it. I guess by having to write my thoughts it helps me arrange them in my head. I dunno. Maybe I want someone to acknowledge me before I kill myself. I'm really not sure. I just opened up r9k and started typing and here we are. I can't pinpoint an exact rhyme or reason as to why I am on here.

Of course people who attempt suicide by falling are going to regret their decision. When you off yourself by jumping, you are either falling, or you are not. It's binary. You are either on your way down to the ground, or you are at the ledge. There is no middle-ground gradient. As soon as you jump, your first thought would be "oh shit I'm still not sure about this. I wish I could go back in time a few seconds and change my mind". The grass is greener on the other side, and being forced into your decisions makes even the most suicidal person change their mind. It's human nature.

It won't matter for me, anyway. I'll be dead before I even know I've pulled the trigger.

>my advice would be to do something exhilarating and then ask yourself if you're still suicidal (riding a bike downhill, running, speeding when driving, etc.).
Been there, done that. I drive recklessly. I always hoped I died. Never did, though.

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>is physically capable of doing things
>doesn't join the military do die a hero's death

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>>35625326
>killing civilians to protect capitalistic interests
>"a hero's death"
Ah, the American military indoctrination system. It's working perfectly :)

>>35625386
America: we put the "oops" in "troops".

>>35625160
>I wanna ask what's the immediacy in killing yourself?
No hurry. I have felt this way for long enough. It's been a gradual process. I've passed the threshold where being dead has become at least marginally preferable.

>it's not like it's a time-based method, like a train. by having a shotgun you have an express pass to death, which you can use at any time
Well, when I get drunk, I think about suicide. And then I think of something I am not looking forward to. It'll normally be just inconvenient. Maybe it'll be that I need to make a phone call or something. And I'll think, "it'd just be a lot easier if I could just kill myself. I wouldn't have to make a phone call that I really can't be bothered to do". The problem is that I can't kill myself quick enough with the methods I have available to me, hence the shotgun license application.

>break-up anniversary
I wish.

>if there's no sort of impending doom, what's the harm in sticking around for a little while longer?
Putting a shotgun in my mouth and pulling the trigger is easier than almost all day-to-day errands. When I am not bothered if I live or die, why would I not opt for the easiest choice?

You're right, though. What's the harm in sticking around for a little while longer? But on the other hand, what's the harm in just getting it over with? I'm not much for procrastinating. I've felt suicidal since my mid-teens. That's over half of my life! It ain't changing any time soon. If I don't kill myself one day, I'll want to kill myself the day after.

>>35625326
I couldn't get in the military. Even if I could, why would I? I want to die, not just throw my life away. There is a difference. I want to cease living. Joining the military would not immediately end my life. I would still be here.

>>35623348
Just work through your issues. Life can be worth it. Don't be a lazy quitter. You'll be dead long enough

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>tfw been planning to buy a ticket to Minnesota so I can allow myself to freeze to death
>No longer feel depressed anymore, just a tired acceptance than I need to do myself in soon

It's weird. I went from being depressed to being numb to feeling some weird sense of dread. Like, my life is a home in the path of some natural disaster and I need to exit soon.

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>don't have any easy means to committing suicide
>have handgun replica
>sometimes stick the barrel in my mouth and pull the trigger fantasizing about it being real

>>35625326
>psych evaluations

He couldn't get in even if he wanted to

>>35625504
>Just work through your issues.
I have tried working through my issues. I'm as unhappy as ever. My best efforts throughout the prime of my life has left me in a worse state than before I started.

If I cannot be happy even when giving it my all, what chance do I have now that I am lethargic and ready to die?

>Life can be worth it
I'm sure it can. But not for me. I'm not going to carry on enduring this shit for the 1/1,000,000 chance that things may turn out okay.

>Don't be a lazy quitter
I already wish I had killed myself long ago. I'm not gonna carry on for another ten years so that I can wish I had killed myself now. And then carry on for another ten years so that I can wish I had killed myself ten years earlier.

>You'll be dead long enough
Many billions of years have past before the time I was born. And in that time I did not feel suicidal once. I did not wake up and wish I were dead. I did not feel hated for myself. The last 28 years of the 14,000,000,000 years that the universe has existed has been horrible. I want to return to what things were like 29 years ago. An infinite nothingness is surely preferable to finite suffering, right?

>>35625036
yes
let them know
send a message

>>35623348
Sure thing
I'm sure planning your suicide and telling yourself this is it isn't your coping mechanism to deal with shit
I'm sure suicidal people often come up with 13 step plans after two months of planning

>>35625428
counselor here, sorry, i was in the shower.

it certainly sounds like you're aware about what it is that you're feeling which is a lot more than others can say for themselves. it also sounds like you've been dealing with these thoughts for quite some time.

when we're faced with a crisis, we can behave in uncharacteristic ways. at some point when you were younger, you probably experienced a crisis of some sort that made you have suicidal thoughts. that crisis probably wasn't resolved in the best of ways, and instead of moving out of the crisis, you might have internalized the situation as well as any possible resolution (suicide) into your character.

and so, when you say that you've been having suicidal thoughts every day, that's probably because that's who you are now.

if it's any consolation, there's nothing wrong with thinking about suicide. the action is even understandable under many conditions. the percentage of people who kill themselves for sport is incredibly low - most people kill themselves to escape some sort of psychological pain - pain that usually can be resolved in other ways.

you may want to ask yourself what is this pain that you're going through. you may also want to ask yourself, if you could have life your way, what would it look like. try to be realistic when thinking this way too - not everyone gets to live like Drake.

like i said, i'm not trying to persuade you one way or another. i think by you reaching out to discuss this, part of you is looking for insight that you may not have had up until this point. i've thought about suicide too, but i can't stand cliffhangers and so not knowing how my life could have panned out sounds worse than ending it before i had a chance to explore some avenues.

>>35625907
cont.

at any rate, what you're feeling is understandable. in a world where so much is out of our control, the one thing we can control is our exit. now that you have the ticket to that exit, take a look around and see if there's anything worth staying for, no matter how fleeting.

i have to go get ready to start my shift. it was nice being able to talk with you. i'll check back in on this thread once i get to work.

if you're not there, i do hope you arrive at peace, one way or another.

>>35623803
Kek
Two months planning for something that takes five minutes to accomplish
As soon as I get my shotgun and I notarize my will and reconnect with my long lost cousin and organize every single tiny m&m in an industrial size box by colour I'm totally doing it you guyz

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>>35625863
>IF YOU HAVE A PLAN TO KILL YOURSELF, THEN YOU ARE NOT ACTUALLY SUICIDAL YOU ARE JUST DOING "COPING MECHANISMS" TO DEAL WITH SHIT
>LOL COME ON NOW. THERE IS NO WAY PEOPLE WHO COMMIT SUICIDE HAVE A PLAN, RIGHT? NO WAY! HAHA NO WAY! ANYONE WHO HAS A PLAN IS CLEARLY NOT SUICIDAL!
Welcome back, faggot shitposter mcgee.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zzSqL--d_I

>>35625929
Maybe if you get even more defensive about it I will believe you op
There are probably around twenty things around you could use to commit suicide right now

>>35625907
>>35625924
Thanks for trying to help, but it ain't gonna work man.

I've tried fixing shit. I didn't get anywhere. As I said, "My best efforts throughout the prime of my life has left me in a worse state than before I started.".

There's no coming back from this. At best I could hope for a marginal reduction to feeling unhappy, but it still wouldn't be substantial to get me out of this rut.

I'm gonna go to bed now. See ya

>>35625506
The countryside here is really beautiful, but I'd recommend getting some kind of method to kill yourself. You think you could handle the cold until you've until you've actually experienced the windchill here. You'd probably be running around wildly trying to find somewhere warm until you passed out and died and that wouldn't be very poetic or dignified at all. Also, it's a little late in the year to try and freeze to death now, try to do that only when we get into the sub-zero temps, around late Oct. to Feb. Nonetheless just take happiness in the fact that you'll die somewhere very peaceful and quiet, surrounded by beauty and breathing some of the most pure, crisp air you've ever experienced.

>>35626008
>IF YOU DONT KILL YOURSELF RIGHT NOW THAT MEANS YOU ARE LYING!

Hey man are you straight? Probably not.

Are you gay? Definitely. If you don't suck your own dick within 10 seconds that means you are not gay.

THIS IS IRREFUTABLE! I HAVE GIVEN YOU AN ULTIMATUM! HAHA YOU EITHER DO WHAT I SAY OR YOU GET PROVEN WRONG!

CHECK AND MATE AETHEISTS

wew lad these logical phallacies

>>35626055
>Are you straight
I'm totally gay, a complete homo man. I couldn't even dream about getting a cool dude such as yourself tho
>If you don't suck your own dick
Please, everyone knows real gay men are unable to get erections

Anyways either actually do it or stop posting about it, there is enough of this shit on Facebook already so I don't go to Facebook, I come here to avoid that shit

Stop being such a basic bitch, at least teenage girls cut

>>35626055
>logical phallacies

>confusing some random anon with me, while I'm still lurking
>bringing ad hominem "arguments"
>more like ad homonem
>this triggered.
why not trigger a slug into your forehead instead?

>>35625233
>I'll be dead before I even know I've pulled the trigger.
False.
You have to pull the trigger before actually dying. And even though you believe it's a nearly instantaneous thing, you have no idea how times stretches when you're near death. Survival instincts and shit.

https://youtu.be/Z0tbA9ksWcM

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>found the suicide note i wrote a year ago
>cringe a bit
>decide to add to it
>becomes my suicide journal that i add to whenever i get major feels

>>35626355
Why was the point of posting that video?
Young adult men commit suicide in record amounts now days and nobody gives a shit until it happens to their son or brother
You don't get to make life hell and then expect anyone to stick around

>>35626355
False.
When you pull the trigger the pin strikes the primer. The slug then starts moving.

A shotgun slug moves at about 2000 feet per second. Nerve signals move at about 390 feet per second. That slug moves 5x faster than your nerve signals. The slug could pass through your brain faster than your brain can tell itself that it's being destroyed.

The only way you could feel the trigger feedback is if the pin and initial velocity of the slug were slower than 200mph for any more than a tenth of a second. Meaning AT BEST you could feel the trigger release the pin and nothing more. At worst, you're dead before you even know you've fired the gun.

>>35623348

Hey OP. I once survived a (legit) attempt. I don't know exactly how you feel, but I know how I felt, and it was fucking terrible. I was ready to die. I was pissed when I didn't.

I'm not saying that things will get better, because there's still a chance that they'll get worse. But as shit as life can be- you just get one. When you think about how short 28 years is compared to the age of the universe... it's a split second. All we get is a split second... and even if it really fucking sucks the entire time... it might be worth seeing it through.

I don't know, man. I'm glad I didn't die, now. I'm not happy to be alive. Some days I wish I was dead. I don't have the answers, but I just wanted to say that I feel you.

I hope you find peace, in whatever form it comes to you.

>>35626031

I plan to drink a ton of vodka and douse myself with water. that will hopefully expedite the process

>>35625929
that hipster was doing so well until he called "gone home" a video game

>>35624752
>have you tried religion
Mate, really, tring to convert people to "the holy way" so when they blow their brains out they can realized that all the money they donated to church was just going to the person spewing bullshit so they can spew more bullshit and make more money.
>TFW religion is actually just a person who reised they could profit off of gullible people

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>>35627373
hahahaha


hahahablox

Klll your self OP

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>>35627415
come on, what better way to find a terrorist than converting a suicudal dude to radical islam?

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>>35623348
have you tried skiing. its a lot of fun, and it can give you the opportunity that you are looking for. if you get going as fast as you can and go into a tree, it' ll be like a shot gun. you can even go off a cliff and it'll be like jumping. I've also come to the same conclusion you have, the only thing that really keeps me going any more is knowing that being relatively young there is more to life. Can you remember the first time you felt the depression kick in. It was fucking annoying as shit. a voice in your head that said you were shit and everything you do is shit. feels bad man, feels bad. the worst part is wanting to say something and just reliseing your an attention fag

>>35624944
>i really wonder what you and other people are hoping to accomplish by telling me that you're going to kill yourself.
people like to reach out and find other like-minded individuals, it's completely instinctual

i'm in a similar boat as OP and i enjoy reading stuff like his post, it makes me feel less alone

>>35623348
>applied for a shotgun license
>SHOTGUN LICENSE

FUCKING LEAF detected

>>35623577
fucking know it all teenager shut your mouth

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Just kill as many as you can then commit suicide

.God luck

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>>35623348
Dude, learn to laugh at life, bro. Here, I'll laugh for you. See, don't you feel better? I know I do.