>teleports behind you >Only one of us leaves these woods

>>35594889
I CAN'T DEFEND MYSELF ROASTIE

>whips out dick
come at me, whore

>>35594889

YOU WILL NEVER GET MY MAGICAL SEMEN, ROASTIE I'M FOLLOWING NEWTONS (PBUH) FOOTSTEPS TO OBTAIN UNLIMITED WISDOM AND KNOWLEDGE ABOUT THIS WORLD ONLY A FOOL WOULD TRADE THIS FOR AN HOUR OF WETDICK IN A SHITTALKING MEATPIECE

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>>35595054
>oy vey nofap meme

you're a fucking idiot and an imbecile

>>35595048

>aims a direct sword slice at you.
>sword suddenly stops
>looks down and sees it stopped by your dick
>b-b-but....how??!!?
>stumbles backwards, struggling to get back into combat stance

>>35595102
>DICKUS BLOCKUS MOTHERFUCKER

*enter hyperbolic time chamber*
*nofap for 10 years*
*emerge in the present*

TAKE. THIS!!!!

*fap and drown you in a flood of backed up seminal fluid*

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>35595099

Only base creatures give their life a goal like "getting a girl to fuck me" and the few actual humans on this planet dont give into this pleasure seeking behaviour and try to understand why this misery is happening. Jokes on you, you're the idiot.

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>>35594889

Hmph, I knew that eventually this day would come...

*Unsheathes my birthright, places a strong foot forward*

>>35595132

>powerful semen blast flies through air
>so fast no time to block or dodge
>hits right between eyes
>body flops backwards dead, crashing to ground belly-up, jiggling all over
>a group of birds fly out of the nearby trees into the air
>reflected in the sword laying useless on the ground

*activates bulge*

You know the keys are around here somewhere what are you in such a hurry for?

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*unsheathes katana of the fedora lord*

the path of life ends here