Exact same here senpai. Nobody truly understands my pain because

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>>35593891
>because I can't properly express it.
Closest and most realistic I can do is
>I wanna sleep
>a lot
>more
>more sleep
>lazy? No. I am tired verytired.
>so obviously I must sleep.
>why deny me this?

They can't even digest that.
Maybe i'm expecting too much.
Reading between the lines cant be so hard

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>>35594046
In general, no one really cares if someone is depressed or not. They just throw in some half assed words to virtue signal and because they feel obligated.

No one cares about us.

>>35593844
Hey man, Im a 30 year old. Living with mom and I had to get back to school (college) to finish my degree. Now I have to study with a bunch of 21 year old chad/stacies for a whole semester. Hooray! Fuck

>>35594156
Its such an abstract feel.
You'd think if someone truly didn't care they would leave you alone and expect nothing from you.

But it doesn't work like that.

I laugh about it because it's ridiculous.
Then I get pissed.

Song?
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9muzyOd4Lh8

>>35594371
Yeah. Being ghosted is a bit better than having someone keep you around at arms reach.

They sit there and act like they care, or they postpone meeting up again every time.

They keep you around so they can call in favors or have someone else they can fall back on, but when it comes down to it you're not worth a damn.

And it's not even a sociopathic thing, it's just how people work.

Or maybe I'm projecting my experiences?

But it doesn't matter. I moved across the country and have gone into recluse mode. I never had anyone to begin with and now I don't have anyone to bother me.

>>35593844
ive been to therapy 3 times in highschool
overrated desu

>>35594325
My condolences. I can't relate but I commiserate, mate.

>>35594471
>I never had anyone to begin with and now I don't have anyone to bother me.

I had a family and very few friends.
I just kind of walked out of my own life because of the counteractions between feeling like shit and knowing I or anyone else didn't understand why.

I live with strangers now.
People I regret learning names with.
People I regret are now less than strangers.

They know nothing about me yet feel comfortable enough to rib at me for being so inactive.

I do not like unbroken humans sometimes.

>>35594601
I got a job as a truck driver. I drive alone, work alone in the truck, and come back to my house alone.

I bring enough supplies to where I don't have to go into the truck stops and buy anything. I only really talk to the people are the warehouses, and that's purely work related.

I don't know how long I can keep this up, the nagging feeling of being so isolated is slightly present. It only rears it's ugly head when I'm bored, so maybe I can keep my sanity as long as I keep myself occupied.

>>35594773
I don't get it though personally

>>35594856
The nagging feeling?

>>35594871
Succumbing to it.

>>35594947
I haven't succumbed. It's just that I'm not sure if I'll be able to remain content with my isolation as I grow older.

But then again, I might be able to keep going on my own throughout the years. I'll just be a productive ghost in the eyes of the world.

>>35593844
>Hey there smoothskin, what ya never seen a ghoul before?

>>35595092
>remain content with my isolation as I grow older.
I remember seeing something a few years ago.

Remembering it has been years makes it worse.
It was a clip from "louie".
The clip where his friend explains what happens when "the want goes away".
It was an objectively sad and tragic clip.
But the wording of his confession cracked me up every time I watched.
The way he says "im fortyshit years old".
The nonchalant slovenly way that he as an obvious regular joe with no interest in being smarter than exactly as he is, the way he simply and beautifully explained his personal hell.
It was new and interesting.
Not quite contradicting but it was an odd mix of emotion.
I would constantly quote it with the one friend I could really talk about donnie darko like shit and have him reciprocate without losing me.
Only friend to this day.

My dread was babby tier because of how funny I thought it was then.
Its still entertaining because its accurate.

But less funny now that I understand.

I don't want to grow older.
I don't want a job to support a life to ALLOW myself to grow older.

Basic wants like wanting something to eat or to get up and piss are not even really wants.
They're impulses.

I'm hardpressed to think of anything I want that is not means to the end of me being dead or wistfully speaking, non existent.

>>35595092
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6X2dCkOI6LY
Okay well the beginning still makes me smirk.
Im dun
Im cashin in.

Then it happens

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>>35593844
wtf is happening in that pic?

I've heard of horribly injured people having a final cigarette, even after being cut in half by a train, but this guyg appears to be standing and looks pretty smug.

Is it makeup?

>>35595880
Its a screengrab from deadpool 2: poolecric poolgaloo

>>35593844
Yo I hate gore but that image is fucking lit

>>35593844
wtf is that pic real?

>>35595880
>I've heard of horribly injured people having a final cigarette, even after being cut in half by a train
Link?

>>35596436
No links, I heard about it IRL. Could be bullshit, but I generally trust the guy who told me not to bullshit about this kind of thing.

>>35596385
Kek ikr?
Im burnt nigga so what?