>tfw the worst part about depression is the boredom >tfw

>>35590013
Yeah i just lay in bed and maybe read wikipedia or something.

>>35590013
Move to Japan and become a rakugo.

>>35590060
I have actually considered that since rakugo has become one of the few things i'm interested in after the depression hit but i don't have the motivation to learn the language

bad advice but smoking hash or drinking beers helps, anything heavier than that fucks with my head too much

>>35590050

Not him, but what's the point? It's the saem as playing videogames. It makes me feel worse because I'm doing nothing.
The catch is, I don't want to do anything, but die in my sleep. I am going crazy I started hissing when my parents ask me question and muttering to myself kill me. They just ignore it, despite me doing it very audibly, almost screaming.

>>35590092
There is no point. I just do it because. I'm just waiting for tomorrow.

I hear you OP
I've tried all my old games and stuff that would keep me occupied for hours but I can barely spend 20 minutes on them now

The only thing I do now I sit on 4chan or waste time on youtube

Im in uni but I never get round to doing my work, particularly on my days off. I just wake up, waste time until the next day until I can do it all over again.

I don't feel suicidal like I used to in the past, so its just aimless boredom and depression now. Wat do?

>>35590194
this is terrifyingly like me

The worst part is being afraid that I'm going to lose my scholarships but having literally no motivation to do my work

>>35590221
I'm sorry you can identify with my post, its shit

Mhmm, I'm on the verge of being kicked out of uni and the thought terrifies me more than anything, but I can't bring myself to do the work now

>>35590013
Yeah, I've fallen for this meme, I have a reprieve at least.

I know this is pretty normie advice but try finding a hobby, it really worked for me and although most days i'm still depressed on the days I get to go out and engage in my only enjoyable pastime are the best days i've had it a long time.

Felt genuinely happy recently while I'm participating. When I'm at home I'm still depressed / bored 24/7 but all the same, I would recommend trying to find something new you can enjoy, I know it's hard but give it a go.

>>35590310
I'm glad you've found something that you enjoy, it's always good to hear that that kinda advice does actually work

>>35590013
lol just get over it like I did anon, you just need to bee yourself, man up.

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>>35590404
I wouldn't have any text in this but this is r9k

>>35590111

>waiting for tomorrow

It is incredibly hard if there is nothing you look forward too.
What seems to work for me is spending time looking up plane tickets online to visit a girl that I love. I literally sit there and keep looking on the same websites the same flies because it somehow calms me down, if only temporarily.

>>35590403
Yeah, shame I can't do it more often though, I get to participate like 3-4 times a week at least, other days are still rough.

>>35590439
the only thing im looking forward to these days is flying out to see my qt, i spent hours agonising over flights and shit, hours and hours

>>35590450
It's a start, at least. What stops you from doing it more often, or do you not want to give too many details?

It sounds like it's helping though, so I'm happy for you

>>35590477
No it's ok, I'll talk about it.

It's just playing poker, nightly tournaments and stuff, I won last week for a few hundred dollars. I'm still a NEET technically so my family bitches at me even though if I wasn't spending money on playing this (it's only like $20 for a buy in) i'd be spending it on alcohol / food and stuff.

I just really enjoy it and although i was super anxious at first I'm pretty comfortable being able to socialize with the people there now and I've made some friends / acquaintances.

>>35590503
damn that sounds like a lot of fun actually, and its definitely money much better spent than on alcohol etc

ok i'm way too autistic to go find a poker group but you've convinced me to at least try to find my own new hobby now

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>>35590461
>>35590439
>having any kind of relationship past friendship with a female

Why the fuck are you people here?

I mean, I'm not full /robot/, I had a girlfriend like three years ago, I had sex with her, but you can't really make too much of a case for true depression when you have someone here to support you.

I literally have no one who talks to me other than the people who live in the same "apartment" as I do (It's basically a big living room with a kitchen and 4 large bedrooms connected at the living room) and idle talk with other students at uni, but no one cares about me, they haven't for years.

>>35590461

Is it a long distance relationship? Do you also enjoy the anticipation before more tahn the actual thing?

I've only flown once in my life and that was when I went to see her. Everythign was new and hopeful. I stopped being my usual self. It was like I stepped out of my mind for a month. The only reason I could do it was because I knew it was temporary. If I had know that it was full-term and that I would have to deal with life, I wouldn't have been able to do it.

Now I sit here, reminisce about the times, which aren't even a month old, thinking about doing it one more time and how she will slowly get tired of me being like this and leave me, which is the reasoanble choice because I am a disgusting being.

>>35590548
Yeah, it's very fun and the potential to make money is always nice too, the bigger tournaments can go for 4-5 hours so you get a lot of time to enjoy yourself.

Have some banter and stuff.

Yeah, I always played poker / use to play online a lot and it happened by a chance I found out they were having a tournament hosted at some local venue I go to with my family a lot to eat, so I attended the next time it was on, I had to take a lot of valium to go and just associate with people, was super nervous but I managed to do it and had a lot of fun.

I can go now without taking any drugs or drinking before hand which is nice, that's great anon.

I'm sure you'll find something you enjoy.

>>35590081
Find an equivalent performance art in your native language. Have you tried reading a verse translation of the Iliad? I know it gets hard to pick up a book but it might be worth a shot.

>>35590550
>you can't really make too much of a case for true depression when you have someone here to support you

I get what you mean there, but another person can never be the cure. You can most certainly be depressed with a gf or whatever. Yes, I am glad that I met them and they do support me but especially since its long distance it hasn't changed a lot.

I'm sorry about your situation though, I wish I had some kind of suggestion to help out, I've been in a similar way and its so hard.

>>35590550

It's my first relationship ever. I was a KHV for 27 years, a NEET for 10 and given up on life for 6. I met her on the internet which was a wonder.

>support me
While she does, it's not the same over a distance. She is the loveliest girl I have ever met and too good for me. I keep constantly being insecure and telling her that. I am aware that she'll leave me because of the way I am and because of the distance. My desire to die is preventing me from changing my life or improving it which would allow me to keep her.

There is more to life than relationships. Why are people posting here? Because it's the only place where you can be honest and where you don't have to go through the hassle of signing up and logging in.

Why don't you try to make friends? You obviously desire it and it seems like you're in a good position (university).

>>35590568
yeah, we're only an hour and a halfs flight apart at least
I wouldn't say that we're 'together' just yet, we haven't even met properly yet but the way we've been talking tells me that once we do meet it'll get much more serious

Damn dude that's rough, I get what you mean about it feeling different when you first see it as being temporary. I'm also dreading seeing them realise that I really am a piece of shit, them being disappointed with me and then leaving me.

>>35590577
Cheers man, I'm glad you don't need to rely on meds to go do it now, that's great! Thanks, I'll find something

>>35590439
Fuck you don't you talk to me about depression. I have nothing to look forward to and am seriously just waiting for some cataclysmic event to change my life.

>>35590665
>just waiting for some cataclysmic event to change my life

r u me?

>>35590643

What does met properly mean? Are you living in the same country?
As someone else told me and common sense too, long distance relationships are horrible. The only reason to get involved in one is if one of the two is willing to move for the other one. Why don't you move to her place?

I would love (at first, until I realize and fall back to my default thinking after 10 seconds) to move to my GFs country, but the laws don't allow it. I can only visit her for 3 months yearly and I only have money for 1 more potential trip.

I just want to see her again, even if it's just to break up in person.

>>35590611
>>35590594
Yes, relationships can't cure depression, but at least you fucking have someone to TALK TO that cares about you. Do you have ANY idea what it feels like to carry this shit on your own shoulders, alone, for four fucking years?

>>35590611
>Why don't you try to make friends?

I literally hate most people on the face of the planet, for one. Not meme misanthrope shit, I literally despise most people to an almost Elliot level, because they can't understand what people like me go through, being completely alone and almost unfeeling, living day-to-day with no driving factor.

It's also because of my anxiety, and I can never start conversations, let alone coherently continue them without pasta falling out of my pockets.

It's also because of the fact that I most likely have autism, according to both online tests and a psych mentioning that it was possible so even if I do talk to someone and somehow get into conversation about something I'm interested in, I go way too far in enthusiasm and creep them out.

>>35590665
See, THIS fucker gets it.

>>35590665

It never comes. In the off chance that something resembling it comes, you won't jump on it anyway. You will let it slowly pass.

I read that playing video games is the neurological opposite of depression... so even if you are not enjoying it, maybe try to force yourself to play anyway. This could be a way to train your brain to think differently, and you might end up enjoying the game. Kind of like fake it until you make it

>>35590695
Oh I just mean we haven't met in person yet
I'd consider it if we're still close once we're done with our degrees. I've been in an LDR when I was much younger and it was awful, but then again it was an awful relationship in the first place

Damn thats shit, just make that trip worth it, whether you break up or not

>>35590699
Yeah I appreciate that. And yes, I do have an idea how that feels. I had nobody to talk to for four years AND on top of that everyone around me thought I was some vile monster that raped one of my friends. So, I think I understand at least a little bit how you feel right now.

>>35590699

>Do you have ANY idea what it feels like to carry this shit on your own shoulders, alone, for four fucking years?
Yes. Do you want me to be pathetic and try to one-up you by saying "six years"?

You sound really bitter and pretentious with the "they don't get me". We all have self-pity on here, that's why we post, but your arrogant behaviour makes you seem like an asshole.
If you care so much about a relationship and if everything else in your life is sorted out, you have no excuse for not trying. Sounds to me that you're not trying. You have the internet, there is no excuse.

Been out of uni for 3 years and unemployed for 6 months, i spend most days sleeping or drinking away my savings.....at this rate ill have to move back into my parents house, and they only ever made my depression worse. I cant muster up the effort to play vodya, clean, bathe, or even tall to my friends because i am starting to resent them all for doing better than i am. 28 years old and it seems like I'm destined to be a nasty old man working a shit job

>>35590776
>You have the internet, there is no excuse.
I'm sorry, I have no idea if you're implying meeting friends or going on Tinder, because I'd rather not have friends honestly, and if you mean Tinder, please fuck off, I use Tinder with only right swipes and only get bots, landwhales, and unholy abominations that look more eldritch than human. I'm ugly, no amount of "trying" is gonna change that.

>You sound really bitter and pretentious with the "they don't get me".
Well shit my dude, when the vast majority of the population is well adjusted and has no idea what it feels like to have anhedonia for so fucking long, and when everyone around you in real life tells you the same meme shit that they bait with in 4chan, yeah, you typically become an asshole. When people treat you like an idiot who isn't "trying" to fix yourself, you eventually do come to fucking hate them. It isn't being fucking "bitter and pretentious" when people presume to understand how you feel as their GIRLFRIEND IS IN THE FUCKING ROOM, AND THEY'RE GENUINELY SMILING.

I do fucking try, I've tried everything in the book, but no matter what I do, nothing helps, so why the fuck SHOULD I keep trying? I can't even fucking kill myself, I'm an atheist, the one thing that scares me now is trying to comprehend nonexistence, so I'm forced to try to stay alive as long as I can.

>>35590770
>everyone around me thought I was some vile monster that raped one of my friends.

I had something similar happen to me, but you seem to be a lot more well-adjusted than I am, so kudos to you man.

>>35590922
You need to stop searching for your own self esteem in other's approval. I know it's really hard, I'm still guilty of it but fuck even thinking of looking for a girl now, you need to focus on yourself first

I'm sorry for how you feel right now, it's truly the worst feeling this way but not even seeing suicide as an option. I hope things get better for you, but don't expect everything to fall into your lap all at once.

>>35590975
I'm sorry man, I don't know how it happened to you but the worst thing was that I was the one being tormented by them for years until they decided they were done with me and told the school, making everyone think i was this monster

Its years ago now, I'm almost glad it happened in school because it gave me the chance to start over with new people in uni and honestly i can barely identify with that part of my life anymore, though of course i know its affected me

>>35590922

You throw around words like anhedonia and it sounds like an excuse. Only attention-whoring, excuse seekers can shamelessly and baselessly throw around ridiculous self-diagnosis assumptions. If you want people to be your friends or at least tolerate you, try not to do it.

You also seem to be very superficial and obnoxious when you accuse others of being ugly while apparently being ugly yourself while also not having a tolerable character.

I want to die too, but at least I'm not blaming others or looking for excuses. I can admit that I'm an ungrateful little bitch. I am too cowardly to kill myself, so the only reasonable thing for me to do is to bear it and not complain. I try not to or if I have to complain I at least try not to blame others or delude myself.

You should try the same or at least get some self-awareness.

>>35591032
Personally, I was in high school and I got my first girlfriend, like a 5/10 but I was desperate, and she was a huge fucking slut apparently, and even though I tried taking it as slow as possible so I didn't ruin shit, she still wanted to do shit, but not to the point of sex. I was a teenager, hormones got the best of me, and I went along with it, to the point where even she was a bit put off by me.

One day out of nowhere she dumped me and I was surprisingly not really phased by it; probably because at that point she was just kind of a borderline onahole for me. She was 2 grades younger (I was a junior and she was a freshman) and people always looked at me weird in the first place.

Long story short, apparently she might have told her friends that I borderline forced myself on her (keep in mind, we never had sex, it was just kind of to the point of hand stuff) and it spread around quite a bit, so I became an outcast. Your situation sounds a decent bit worse than mine though, I never had any real friends to torment me.

>>35591098
>You throw around words like anhedonia and it sounds like an excuse. Only attention-whoring, excuse seekers can shamelessly and baselessly throw around ridiculous self-diagnosis assumptions.
>self-diagnosis
Probably should have mentioned it before, but the people I hate the most in the world are self-diagnosers, so no, I don't do that, both psychiatrists I've gone to for help said the same thing: MDD, Panic Disorder, and possible autism. I literally haven't felt happy in years, and anhedonia is a definition, not a diagnosis, so I have no fucking idea what you're talking about.

>You also seem to be very superficial and obnoxious when you accuse others of being ugly while apparently being ugly yourself while also not having a tolerable character.
>implying human beings aren't a superficial species
>implying you would willingly date some fucking beached whale or a butterface with no redeeming body traits

You're right my dude, I am superficial. You want to know why? I don't JUST have a brain! I have a dick too! I'm not fucking attracted to unattractive women! You sound like that one fucking cunt from tumblr who says if you aren't attracted to everyone you're being discriminatory.

>being ugly yourself and not having a tolerable character
I'm not actually fucking chris-chan level ugly, I'm like a 6 or a 7 depending who you ask, but when you're at uni, for every 6/7 there's a fucking 8-10 that girls would much rather.

As for character, I'm actually a very nice person when I talk, I don't like making things awkward, when people get mad at me I usually have fucking panic attacks for some reason, so I try to avoid being a dick when possible.

>I want to die too, but at least I'm not blaming others or looking for excuses.

I'm not blaming others you mong, I just don't fucking like people who fucking presume to know what I feel like and feel like they're qualified to give me some bullshit advice like "lol anon, why not just try smiling or getting a gf? ;)"

>>35590013

Fuck off.
The worst part about depression is having to deal with the rest of the world.
I want to be alone...

>>35591382
I would MUCH rather be forced to deal with other people if it meant that I could have any form of fun ever again.

>>35591169
That sounds shitty, I'm sorry that she did that to you

>>35591520
Nah dude, it's better now, what happened to you, if it's not too personal?

>>35591611
i'll keep it as short as I can, ever since I was 5 I had these 2 best friends. Then when we're 9 some outcast joins us. We obviously don't get along, but whatever, I fight back at first.

By 11 I give up fighting back, just accept that they hate me in order to stay with my other friends. Bullying turns into them making advances, threatening me. At first I just put up with it because otherwise they make my life hell and when I fight back they do some other shit, threaten to tell the school, blah blah

4 years of that for them to turn around and tell the school that I was molesting and threatening them. I can't speak up because at that point I'm so fucking broken and devasted, because as soon as they spoke up they believed it. The school always thought I was a bad kid because I didn't do work anyway, they believed them. My 2 best friends are of course, won over by them after this point and the whole school thinks I did this all.

>>35591711
Shit man, that's rough.

I never really had a real friend in my life other than my one real girlfriend (not the idiot one I replied about, the one after that) but the one "friend group" I was with pretty much hated me and I was the outcast in the group, so I kind of know what it feels like.

>>35591936
Yeah friendship is difficult, you can find yourself hanging out with people for years before realised where your 'place' is. I'm sorry that things are tough anon, you'll always have us anons (which is probably a bad hting but whatever, I like it)