ITT: who damages you anons. Let it out, talk about whats

Mostly, myself.
I am the constant factor in all my failings.

File: sullen.jpg (33KB, 645x773px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 645x773px

>>35585871

I'm tired of living, OP. I'm driving on empty now. I eat and drink not because I want to continue living but because of hunger and thirst, respectively.

Can I just die in my sleep? It's not wrong to die.

>>35585871
I'm tired of failing at life. Everybody is achieving stuff except for me.

>>35585959
What making you feel like this anon? If you dont mind me asking?

>>35585871
Well I was gonna say my former oneitis, but someone just called me out on posting about her too many times so I'm realizing that my limit's reached and I can stop giving a shit about her! It's become unhealthy!

>>35586395
Anon from personal experience, oneituses are generally not worth it because its only ome way usually.
You have a lot that you cpuld get done in your life without your oneitis, they arent stopping you from doing these things, your own doubts are
Stay strong anon

File: 1489736555985.jpg (38KB, 657x527px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 657x527px

>girl i connected w/ really well just all of a sudden becomes incredibly distant

this is the last time i ever get emotionally invested in women

>>35586441
"Former" is the operative word here.

>>35586479
Ah sorry anon, either way i hope youre okay

File: noose pepe.jpg (5KB, 160x160px) Image search: [Google]

5KB, 160x160px

>>35585871
Been damaged since I remember, but if I have to choose one particular person it will be this one grill. It's always those fucking grills man... She was absolutely perfect and she actually liked me. Not liked, like REAAALLY liked liked. But of course I kind of fucked up and she moved on to another dude. It's been 3 years but I still think about her every fucking day

>>35586499
I'm feeling a lot better aside from some slight heartburn which is unrelated.

I'm going to a friend's birthday so I'll have some time to get over it.

>>35585871
My girl seems distant, I don't talk she don't talks...

File: IMG_1714.png (519KB, 600x566px) Image search: [Google]

519KB, 600x566px

>>35586554
> my girl

I'll just take the bait in case no one else will

NORMIE GET FUCKING OUT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, YOU'RE PROBABLY A NIGGER AS WELL

>>35586361

I'm a failure, anon. No one should be forced to be me.

Oh yeah, a bunch of other stuff like anxiety and depression, but who cares about that.

>>35586649
>referencing worst JoJo OP
Get the fuck out.

File: IMG_1717.jpg (81KB, 494x366px) Image search: [Google]

81KB, 494x366px

>>35586709
>worst

Great days> chase > crazy noisy bizarre town

Fight me

>>35586677
Sounds like a longshot but try some online mindfulness training anon. It sounds silly but it does make you feel a bit better

>>35586709
>>35586760
>watching the anime at all
Caught an episode on AS and it's literally a motion comic. Just read the fucking manga you retards

File: IMG_6346.jpg (146KB, 720x632px) Image search: [Google]

146KB, 720x632px

>>35586760
>not appreciating funk
Crazy Noisy Bizarre Town took a second to grow on me but when it did...hoo boy.

CNBT>Great Days>LITERAL DOG SHIT> Chase

Visually though you could make an argument for Chase.

File: 1381289226025.jpg (169KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

169KB, 1920x1080px

>end 3 yr relationship because unhappy
>become significantly more happy in following months
>ex spams me on every social media account about how i created a living hell for them
>initially block them but decide that was shitty since if i were in their position i might act the same
>ex spams me telling me i abused them and lied to them
>mfw all i did was end the relationship when i began to feel unhappy, thereby avoiding any detrimental acts towards them
>begin to feel shitty again because i made someone else feel shitty
>was just trying to be happy myself and set them free
>can't be happy even when trying to do the right thing

>>35586789
The animation steadily gets better with each part. DiU is fantastic because David Productions actually got a fucking budget.

>>35586818
READ
THE
MANGA
>faster to read than watch
>no localization horseshit
>no ugly colors fucking things up, just Araki's pure art
>Superior artstyle, the anime does not do it justice at all, it doesn't have the definition of Araki's style, nor the texture
>fights are pages, sometimes issues long instead of minutes or seconds
>no characters can be ruined by voice acting
>no censors
>no parts have shit animation, don't have to be stockholm syndrom'd into watching till part fucking 4 to get to good animation (which is probably just bullshit bluster in the first place)
>3+ extra parts
Animecucks are pathetic. Can't read a medium literally used to teach illiterate children.

File: IMG_6512.jpg (100KB, 960x503px) Image search: [Google]

100KB, 960x503px

>>35586884
I'll give it a fucking shot at some point, geez.

Though I will say the colors are actually what really sell the anime for me. It's flamboyant and stupid but so is all that fucking posing.

>>35586814
It will fade away anon, just wait and forget her, you did what you could to ease the breakeup and not hurt her, relax friend

Manipulative old manager who claimed to be my mentor. He destroyed my employment history and then convinced my ex gf (who he originally guided me to leave ) to sue the fuck out of out

Im human trash. A colection of genetic failings that all got stuffed in one singular human being. Im lazy, stupid, hideous, cowardly and I've not a speck of ambition any longer.

But everything will change tomorrow.

>>35585918
this
i was borned with everything set for me, surrounded by the best conditions imaginable
I still managed to fuck everything up and I'll end up hangig myself the day I turn a wizard (3 years and a few months left)

>>35587025
Did you try some spiritual searchings? There is much more to life then a bunch of genetic things.

Every time I thought of someone who's hurt me it rounds back into me hating my godfather or myself even more.
I just wish I could remember what it was like before I was ruined. Why can't I remember it that well?

>>35587025
>But everything will change tomorrow.
This is a little ominous

>>35586918
eh the weird washed out colors for posing were kinda cool, but then again that kinda shit is only supposed to happen for stand effects so it turned me off a bit. It was also way overused.

File: image.jpg (140KB, 541x960px) Image search: [Google]

140KB, 541x960px

My two bosses micromanaging me every day because they simply don't like me. I'm a brainlet that tries his best. Also a bit different. I stay at my job out of spite some days. But it really rattles your psyche being treated like shit day in day out by the people who essentially decide whether you're able to make rent and eat.

I'm pretty sure it's mostly George Soros.

>>35586508
STOP.
That shit will kill you, man. Start fucking prostitutes, pick up an addiction... I mean, probably don't do those things; definitely stop thinking about that roastie, though.

Verbally abused by my step mother throughout my childhood.

I think that caused me to have low confidence.

I don't really want to talk about who damaged me, since I've spent so many hours longposting about that person, and I think I've finally worked it out.

> seriously thanks so much to those nice anons
> i saved the comments on my computer they helped me pull through when I had to spend a weekend with this person and their SO for work.

What I've been obsessing over is my health ( jaw and shoulder pain, paranoid delusions about my hearing), my absentism from class this week ( I'm very ashamed), some financial woes, and this guy I like.

I'm starting to think I project a lot of my other issues like housing or school into tfw no bf because it sort of exemplifies the state of being unworthy and unloveable, but I'm not really sure how to approach this except trying to focus on what I have to do very pragmatically.

Basically this guy I liked. Total weeb loser robot 24 yr virgin like me. He seemed pretty into me ( skype calls for hours, calling my selfie nice, wanting to play vidya together, saying girls with curly hair like me were his type, buying me a snack so I could take my meds, etc.), then he moves into an apartment in another city with his cousin and suddenly he doesn't talk to me anymore. I always start the conversations, and I have to constantly plan to keep them going. His cousin is more interested in talking to me.

>>35586395
Dude, same, people would fucking recognise parts of my story and life. It was so revealing.

But I think you should longpost as you need, this site basically functions as discount therapy sessions, and sometimes you just need to process a memory until it's good and worn.

>>35586475
Yep.

> someone is nice to me
> start to fall for them
> act weird and drive them away

>>35586508
How'd you fuck it up?

>>35586992
Sounds like a greentext masterpiece.
>>35586130
Yep.

My university went on this thing about accepting a 14 yr old girl into STEM who's also a star athlete. Wanted to die.

>>35587499
>sometimes you just need to process a memory until it's good and worn.
You're damn right. I was surprised it took so long seeing as I'd been updating the story since fucking January.

But yeah, I remember it took me a LONG fucking time to work through my ex leaving. I think it was like 4 years or something, and my former oneitis helped me get past that by having me not be alone on Valentines for the first time in a while.

>>35587541
Yeah, like, sometimes you just feel better having to articulate and process what happened.

Just by writing out what happened between me and my ~*~ damaging person ~*~ over and over again I started to see trends in their behaviour that totally revealed what a piece of shit were and how blind I was.

If you are worried about being found out ( i'm not since no one in my town goes on any chan) you could always change minor details but keep the general story intact. Hell, trying to find equatable scenarios to keep the tone the dame might help you place your situation in different contexts.

>>35587580
I've stopped giving a fuck, sometimes I'll even post their face. I've only gotten caught like twice doing that, same girl both times.

Could have fucked her too, damn.

>>35587640
Seriously? That's fucked. Did she message you about it?

>>35587671
Oh, it wasn't the girl that found me out.

Some other dude recognized her and pointed me out about it. The opportunity to fuck her had long past by that point.

That was poorly phrased in retrospect.

File: tumblr_mxnwk4xfR61rk6jiao1_500.gif (184KB, 496x332px) Image search: [Google]

184KB, 496x332px

>>35586971
thanks anon, you didn't have to reply but ya did

>>35586508
>having girls like you
YOU DO NOT FUCKING BELONG HERE, UNDERSTAND?

My relationship is in a slow death spiral and there is nothing I can do to stop it. I have done as much as I can and it's up to her to pull us out of this and she won't because she is comfortable and complacent.

File: 1370998251162.jpg (270KB, 1920x1200px) Image search: [Google]

270KB, 1920x1200px

>>35587732
how is it in a death spiral and what have you and her done to lead up to this?

just curious if i can give advice, but need more info. if advice not wanted, pls ignore.

>>35587686
That trips me out. Probably would have cried.

> years ago
> i make a post about my trip to Columbus , Ohio
> guy responds to me with L O N D O N in spoilers
> this was when that meme first became popular, I didn't know about it
> thought they were mentioning my hometown of London, Ohio
> ie they knew me

Anyway so I freak out and immediately assume it was this guy I knew who was weirdly fixated on me because he was literally the only person I knew from my hometown who went on 4chan, and I call him up and ask why he's trying to scare me.

> he calmly explains that it's a meme
>hangs up

Anyway, in the five seconds before I got BTFO I was freaked out at the idea of being recognised, and I never post pics as a result.

>>35585871
myself, no one else gives a fuck about me to damage me.

OP here. Sorry i havnt being giving (yous) out much i was in a lecture.

To all the anons in this thread, we are here to help if you want it. I dont want to see someone helpless today, even if it is on a shitty meme board we are here to help at least provide an ear to listen

>>35587853
OP is a nice person and I'm curious about their lecture.

File: 20170317_104845-min.jpg (846KB, 2320x4128px) Image search: [Google]

846KB, 2320x4128px

>>35587898
It was a clinical Psychology lecture anon. It sounds silly but i actually want to help people with their mental health
Im currently doing an essay on Dahmer though

Heres a picture as proof>>35587898
>>35587898

She might as well have said to me:

>When I looked you in the eye, smiled and told you I loved you, I lied

>You're second, and it can't work "right now."

>Stay a beta orbiter pls

>>35585871
Ima post my story now.
>be 8
>moms got heart issues and brain damage
>takes years to recover
>try my hardest to skip school to be with her because she was often lonely but i got over it after a while
>some time later
>they check me out at a psychologist because i was behaved bad in class
>turns out i had an iq of 145+
>can skip a year
>the class i got into was really great but i was young as fuck
>go to high school
>go to a class for people like me (dunno the name for an iq thats 135+ or something)
>the class is a fucking mess, autists spergs attention disorder agression disorder and more
>next 2 years are fucking hell because every day something goes wrong and im easily thrown off by that
>then comes the years that really fucked me up
>best friend becomes a drug addict
>constantly in and out of rehab
>my grades start to suffer because im constantly worried sick
>then comes the day that turned me to an empty shell of a human for the next year
>go to the bus like usual in the morning
>at the station i see my best friend, the addict
>she lives 14 km away from there and has no reason to be there
>turns out she walked away from home
The rest is a bit foggy due to therapy and my own mind closing it off
>be at the trainstation now
>she threatens to jump for a train or run away
>literally scream for help
>no one does
>finally the police show up, take her away and fucking leave me there
>go home
>talk to no one about it for weeks, my parents know what happened from the girls mom
>stay away from school for a long time
>one day have a talk with my dad
>he used to be on beach watch or whatever its called
his story:
>drunk german goes to swim during a code yellow (swim with caution)
>he drowns
>dad goes to save him
>his skin is already slimey and no heartbeat etc.
>he's not capable of taking him back
>goes to the shore
>everyone is mad at him, yelling etc. not seeming to understand he did everything he could.
Almost at wordcap, cont?

File: 1487327213888.jpg (18KB, 253x229px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 253x229px

I'm not damaged.

>>35586709
That isn't jonathan anon

File: crying_pepe.jpg (17KB, 480x380px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 480x380px

It used to be my dad. Then my sister who nurtured me while my dad abused me killed herself. Then my dad died. Now I'm the only one who abuses myself.

>>35588126
Pls do
origgggg

>>35588126
>inb4 tree fiddy

Continue please

File: 1488707560737.jpg (40KB, 550x512px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 550x512px

There's a girl I'm still in love with. We were almost in a serious relationship then she backpedaled and hit me with the "I'm just not ready for a relationship". She got into a serious relationship with someone else the next day. It kills me to see them everyday anons, and I'm still so in love with her knowing I'm only a rebound for her before she dates other guys. I've tried to see other girls but none I love as much as I ever loved her. And everytime we're in a rebound period I feel like it's going to be for real this time. But it never is.

Elizabeth, if you're reading this just know I have and always will love you.

>>35588208
>>35588229
shit only gets worse from here
>therapy doesnt help
>im never at school, only at home playing vidya
>when im at school i skip class and lock myself up in the bathroom
>i felt empty and emotionless, never shed a single tear even though i wanted to so hard
>my grades are beyond recovery now
>then came the new year vacation
>dads brain got fucked up, blood cells swelled up
>have no idea what to expect, dont know if i could even recognise him when i came to the hospital
>his short term memory was all fucked up, luckily nothing else changed
>still fucked me up good
>during the vacation my dog got really sick
>has to be in the hospital
>nothing works
>he dies the next day
>turns out he ate some cotton or something
>fucked up his digestive system
Not chronoligical but a neighbors friend with the exact same breed of dog died due to the same thing and lived nearby
I swear to god some asshole fed that to him but i was never sure
>am depressed beyond limits now
The rest is foggy again.
Sorry if its a bit unclear but it fucking hurts to recall it all.
>be now
>finally have the right therapy
>still feel like a worthless fuck
The future is looking brighter then before but i have no idea what the gods have in store for me
/end

File: 2889356.jpg (101KB, 550x550px) Image search: [Google]

101KB, 550x550px

insane narcissistic abusive mother

dyfunctional family members

I would have been far more normal and healthier if I wasn't raised with "love and obey your parents and family" bullshit. they have diminished me as a person. I would've gone farther without their baggage and stupidity

Mom:
>Alcoholic
>Literally bought beer instead of food at times
>Left me alone constantly to the point of giving me bad separation anxiety
>Has told me to my face that I should have been a girl, and even then I was a mistake
>Cared more about her "boyfriends" than me
>Never paid rent, made us worry about if we're gonna be able to have a roof over our heads
>Blamed me for "being so expensive"

Dad:
>Never wanted to have me so he left us

Brother's father:
>Abusive
>Never let me eat when I was hungry
>Never let me leave the house except for school
>Wouldn't give me money for school lunch
>Can't bring one from home because I didn't buy any of the food
>Wouldn't let me get a job
>Threatened to kill me
>Had to lock my door so he wouldn't come in and destroy what little things he let me have
>His fiancee sided with him completely

Brother:
>Alcoholic, though not nearly as bad as my mom
>Outshines me in every way
>Was horrid to me growing up
>He's the standard that people hold me to
>Didn't want me to be born

Friends:
>They've all stopped talking to me
>I try to actually strike up a conversation
>Ignored or blocked
>Visible disgust on their faces when I talked to them before school ended
>Girlfriends all cheated on me
>Too ugly or annoying for them, I'm told

I'm diagnosed with severe depression, moderate separation anxiety, and an inferiority complex.

I just wanna be held and told everything's gonna be alright, my dudes

>>35588365
Some day you'll find a place in this fucked world, it may be caused by something small but if i've learned anything: when you hold tight to the small things you love, you'll be able to hold on longer. Try to find help, therapists are risky but can give good results. Other help can be small escapes like drawing, music, vidya. You'll be okay.

>>35588412
Thanks, Anon.
I'm bad at words, I really appreciate the kind words though

>>35587047

You're not alone, buddy. I would also want to die, but hanging isn't easy.

>>35588365
Everything's going to be alright, friendo

Bumping for the only actal good thrrad on r9k at the moment.
Keep it going lads

Dad hit the physical side and my mum the emotional.
He had major anger issues and would come and destroy my room and chuck me about. He would drive a knuckle into pressure points so it didn't leave a mark.
Its really hard to be around other men. They put me on edge.

To be honest, I haven't had a friend since 2008.
Haven't had a conversation with anyone in 3+ years.
Never had anyone i could talk to so i rarely do these days.

I always followed the rules and did what i was told religiously. When it came for me to be independent, i couldn't think for myself.

24 now, living alone and over the depression hump. Trying to find balance in life and what direction to go in.

File: 1488600405127.png (62KB, 382x395px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 382x395px

My mom and my step dad kinda fucked me up. My mom used to hit me when she was drunk so I just hid in my room and played computer games. One time I accidentally hurt my little brother playing with him and my step dad grabbed my arm and pushed me on the couch. He thought I did it on purpose. I said what the fuck dude. I was pretty surprised because he was like my best friend. When he knew it was an accident he calmed down.

He never drank but when he did he did funny stupid stuff. But I miss them all including my mom even though I moved out when I was 13. I use motivation from trying to make them proud when I workout.

I heard my grandma cry for help in the middle of the night so I told my parents call the ambulance. And the same day she died. It broke me down watching her getting pulled out of the stretcher out of the house. Even more now than ever.

My step mom now annoys the fuck out of me. If my dad said the same things I wouldn't be as annoyed and I have no idea why

I fucking hate this world, everyone are fucking cunts that will leave and make fun of you because u are too tired of trying to be happy, I just want to cry all the time but I can't. I feel like slowly everything is becoming gray. I don't care about anything except for bullies and my loneliness. I hate myself for being similar to my dad, not trying anymore and being such a fag that fucks up everything. I just want to die so badly.

>>35589994
My dad fucked me up, I hate him. He is in prison now. And I noticed that I'm slowly becoming more and more like him. I hate it

>>35585918

I feel you on that, it isn't anyone else causing me pain or making me fail, its all my fault.

File: 1486256175454.png (607KB, 640x591px) Image search: [Google]

607KB, 640x591px

>>35588365
Jesus, I'm sorry you had to experience all of that Anon.
Everything's gonna be alright.
I probably never had it as rough as you but regardless I still can relate to some of the events.
My parents were extremely neglectful of me.
Almost died once because my father thought I was faking a sickness.

File: 1488927695417.jpg (41KB, 468x510px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 468x510px

My mother seriously fucked me up. I still experience long periods of panic and paranoia. When I first told my therapist about some of the things she did his jaw dropped. My dad thinks I may have PTSD. The really scary thing is that I'm forgetting things she did. Sometimes I have to be reminded by family members. I still blame myself at times for everything that happened. She had diagnosed borderline personality disorder, abused prescription drugs and was an alcoholic. I know she used to make up stories about how awful me, my siblings and my dad were to her. Some of my teachers in primary school hated my dad because of it, but years later they reconciled when they realized how they had been misled by her. I don't know how many people out there still believe whatever lies she might have told about us. Her behavior would usually become so erratic that she couldn't keep up the deception. She used to make friends with different religious or social groups, who she would then alienate with her behavior. We often had to call ambulances for her when she overdosed. This was something I had become accustomed to by the time I was 16. She acted as if all of this was normal and would become indignant if you took issue with her behavior. That's what really warped my sense of reality. I still don't really know what normal is. I feel constantly under threat.

>>35585918
Exactly I had plenty of opportunities, and I squandered them all. I'm still bitter about the mistakes I made when I was younger and fantasize about future actions that would make up for them.

File: stormy wojack.png (1MB, 1111x1193px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1111x1193px

This girl from my high school that legitimately hated me is at the same university as me and is in a very similar major. It's been surprisingly easy avoiding her without hassle, but now and then we end up near each other and it brings back memories of a pretty shitty part of my life.

File: 85tffg2.png (165KB, 700x500px) Image search: [Google]

165KB, 700x500px

I lost my girlfriend due to my drug habits long time ago (when I was 19 now im 24), I was somehow a normie , went every single day out , have a lot of friends, few jobs here and there. After that everything went downhill, left the first year of university due to culpability,recluse myself for years in my house playing shitty games that I hated till I met her.

FeelsBadMan.

File: comment_Mhbi2Xl4E6CvkUeKHKzqp1BcztlOZPGz,w400.jpg (17KB, 400x285px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 400x285px

My parents made me subhuman. My father is a feeder, that means that he only cares about making his relatives fat, he is also a neet living with his mother. At the age of 50. And my mom is simply catholic retard, also lazy and dumb as fuck. I hope my family will die when I'll move on my own.

File: 1485247502309.jpg (23KB, 338x430px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 338x430px

>>35585871
>who damages you anons
Mostly myself but my parents somehow as well
But i don't want to say they do this with purpose
My father suffers from a hip injurie he got in his 20s and has bad diabetes and high blood pressure
Every time i visit him it kills me when he still tries to pick me up at the train station but has problems to walk back home
He is using crutches now because his hip is getting worse
And my mother has deep depression about my brother taking drugs and her job

My parents do all for me and i'm very grateful but i'm an empathetic person and i feel their pain
In the last time i realized i somehow distanced myself from them becasue it makes me down
Then i think i'm a selfish asshole because i don't care about my parents

>whats been on your mind
Also i got a huge crush on a girl from my university
>10/10
>tall
>blonde
>fit
>blue eyes
We both study the same major but i know i'm out of her league
Also she could have a bf and this would end me