Hey /r9k/. Just an edgy high school faggot here. I honestly

-Part 2: Electric Boogaloo-

However, while someone might think this is something good about me, it's really not. I try to hide my feelings with this ironic shield. In fact, most of my jokes are about me, and my life in general. It can vary from, "Happy Birthday to me. I HAVE A SPLIT FAMILY!"(My parents actually got a divorce on my birthday 'n'), to just a joke about Parkinson's. Sometimes, everything is funny to me. I'm probably thinking to myself, "HAHA 9/11 IS HILARIOUS CONSIDERING MANY PEOPLE DIED ON THAT DAY." The fact that I'm such an insecure piece of shit, I'll just find hilarious. I can be a huge asshole during these moments, neglecting my friends just so I can be everyone's favorite fucking comedian, that no one actually cares about, in any other way then a short laugh.

Speaking of neglecting friends, most of the time at school, I just like to sit by myself, when I'm not really in the mood to make anyone. When I'm not in the mood, I don't even talk to anybody. Maybe if they say, "Hi!", I'll probably do my "hilarious and original", "Aaaaaaay!", in a deep voice. If they don't do that, I'll just generally try to avoid eye-contact, and walk by fast, and hope they don't notice I'm avoiding them. By the way, I just love how easily I could just go from being a "hilarious" attention-whore, to just being a depressing bitter person, who wants to be alone. I definitely feel a great contrast between these two parts of me, at times, where it feels like the two views clash when I'm thinking.

-Part 3: Stardust Crusaders-
I honestly don't know why I'm posting this, but I feel it's better to just let out all of my stress on this thread, rather than just spending a night crying myself to sleep like the pussy I am. By the way, I don't care if this is turned into a meme, because to be honest, I'd be laughing more if I knew that everyone was laughing at me, and not to the point where it feels like I'm going to be scarred by someone who I'm close with. In fact, I most likely will respect you more, unless you are planning to kill me or some shit like that. If you are planning to kill me, we are officially best friends.

P.S.: I don't believe in any of Elliot Rodger's ideals, and certainly don't want to hurt anyone I know, but I'd certainly want him to be my daddy.

TL;DR:
I'm an beta-male faggot who likes to blow things out of proportion and should probably get off of 4Chan, and back onto Tumblr, like the absolute sub-human garbage I am.

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>>35582326
I spent highschool alone as well. Personally I just put in ear buds and didn't say that word, everyone just let me be. Talking will just get you laughed at, good luck robot

>>35582326
High School Robot reporting in, I feel sympathy for you. I hope that one day we can finally normalize. Until then, we suffer.

Underage faggot REEEEEEE

YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE?!

>>35582326
Well hey buddy, at least you have friends and talk to people, even if you mess up sometimes. In high school I had no friends and was just the invisible kid who never said anything at all.
You're not that bad OP, you probably don't belong here. I know it can feel good to just let it all out though, so good job on doing that.

How about instead of this pointless pity party that leads nowhere you read a book and try to better yourself

Marcus Aurelius Meditations is a good start on how to keep yourself grounded and in touch with reality. I'm sure other robots have good suggestions to help

>>35582412
Hey I recognize a lot of Ur feels especially the going back and forth between being an attention whore to being a bitter introvert. You might have bpd. Cos that's what a few doctors said about me. I don't wanna harass you too much but you do honestly sound a bit adorable.

>>35582326
Say 5 nice things about yourself every time you look in the mirror. Break the cycle of swlf bitty and slowly grow some confidence. Then you'll be primes to trust people enough to form relationships with them.

>>35583321
>just start with the biggest meme philosophy in existence, stoicism

>>35582412
Things get a little weirder out of high school man.

I respect your feels, that feeling of not knowing who you are combined with crippling depression and loneliness, you're putting on an act for an audience that might not even be there. Just know this: in college or whatever the fuck you're doing after this, the complete lack of actual structure/perceived freedom you get BECAUSE of said lack of structure is gonna change you. You'll find out who you actually are when you aren't doing the exact same thing every single day. Who you were in high school won't define who you are afterwards.

Also if you are going to college, STAY ON CAMPUS. I can't stress that enough, I wish I'd done it in my freshman year.

Also also: Nice Jojo's Reference pham

Thanks for everything guys. I really appreciate everything. I mean, at this point, I can't respect all of you enough with the honesty from you guys. I'll definitely take every bit of advice, because it really is helpful, no matter how blunt you are.

Even the person who said I might suffer from bipolar depression, because in my dad's side of the family there was a known history of bipolar depression. Thanks for the compliment btw.

As for the people offering advice on how I should improve myself, from starting to reading more philosophical books, and something just as simple as complimenting myself in the mirror.

>>35583212
Though, the one person I'll have to thank the most is definitely the person who said that even though sometimes I do screw up, I'm fortunate to have the friends I have with me. I'm sorry that going through High School, you didn't have many friends, but in a way, you have proven to be a really good friend to me. The part about not belonging here might be something I'll have to disagree about, since I'd to belong in a community like this, even if I'm looked down upon as normie-scum.

In fact, all of you guys have been great friends to me, and I would not mind having you guys as friends in real life. However, since this is 4Chan and all, everything is kept anonymous, so chances of meeting anyone on this board is very low, but I hope sincerely that I will come across you guys again, no matter the probability.

Just a final sentence, from the bottom of my heart, thanks for every bit of advice that you guys have given me, and thanks for any reply, even if it wasn't 100% serious, I love all of you, and no matter what happens, I'm happy to have all of you with me.

>>35582326
>>35583099

F-Friends? It would be nice to have a discord room for high school robots (of course there will be 30 years old NEET LARPers).

Are you from Europe? I'm in the same situation.

>>35582412
You're not beta if you are bitter and don't talk to anyone. You are gamma if you don't give any credits to females.

Also, let me give you a tip, it always works. When I am at school, I wear a watch and everytime I pass by a group of people I "check" the time.

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>>35582326
>>35582392
>>35582412
It think the best advice anyone here can give to you is leave this board as fast as you can and never come back until you're at least 22. This place will suck you in and never let go.
Remember you're here forever now faggot.

Thanks for everything you guys, here's my new discord. Sorry if the name sounds too much like something on /m/, but I guess it will work for now. My internet is not that good, so I might have some problems with some stuff, and I'm from Hamburger-Land(The US), so I'm sorry for all of you guys that live in Europe, or anywhere else.
https://discord.gg/Rap4aXx

>>35584836
Where exactly do you live in the US (if you don't want to tell the state, tell your timezone)?

>>35585121
I live in New Jersey currently.

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Check out book in pic related. You might be a Highly Sensitive Person.

>>35582326
>>35582392
>>35582412
Enjoy high school while you can. Things only get worse as you get older.

High school was honestly the greatest time of my life.

>>35582326
High school was shit for me as well. I was also the quiet kid and I was really unhappy mos tof the time back then. But since I entered college, everyhting got better: more friends, social life, more popular, less quiet, ...

Just hold on, I know it's tough but don't give up.

>>35582326
Robot Highschooler here dude,
My best advice, from someone who was in a similar spot, is find a hobby. Seriously. Here, maybe if I greentext my story it'll make more sense.

>be me
>16
>Freshly sophmore
>spent Freshman year as a edgy loud memefag
>nobody liked me
>weeb gf left me for edgy "best friend"
>feel like complete shit rest of Freshman
>never talk and just spend time on here and youtube
>actually was sent to office because people were telling teachers I could be a possible school shooter.
>start talking to guide counselor
>tell him about how life only seems like school work and betrayal
>he asks what type of genre I like
>hard to explain I like Japanese Superheroes (Kamen Rider)
>"I'm intrested in vehicles"
>recommends I build model kits
>buy one off of ebay
>Suzuki RGV-I in 1/12th scale
>get the different paints and glue
>start building
>Get excited seeing this myself create something
>Buy another
>rinse and repeat
>Become happiest motherfucker in school
>Grades skyrocket
>Mom and stepdad are just excited my grades are up
>dad is happy that I'm not depressed anymore.
>fast foward to now
>17
>buidling kits of cars, trucks, bikes, everything
>Saves up enough money to buy a 1991 Kawasaki KX80 on Craigslist
>Work on it on my own time
>Sold it for almost triple for what I paid for it

TL;DR
Just find a productive hobby and it will make you feel so much better. I have faith in you, anon.