I'm sad as hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore

>>35562083
>here is a man who couldn't take it anymore
>here is a man who stood up against the scum, the dogs, the filth, the shit
>here is a man who stood up
>here is...

>>35562083
I dare you to go on a suicide vacation. They're fun. Ended up in a psych ward with nice people.

>>35562123
fuck that nonsense, harris, klebold, roof, that asian kid whatever the fuck his name was, that other asian kid from vtech, didn't make no fucking difference, fuck them, they just helped push the opposing agenda, i have no political motivation, I just want out

>>35562155
is that going out of the country to have someone else off me? again, that takes too much time, if I buy a gun, worst case scenario I get scared for a few days, and then come back to my senses and then shoot myself when I realize what kind of life I have ahead of me.

>>35562177
>i am not a fool
>i will no longer fool myself
>i will no longer let myself fall apart
>become a joke and object of ridicule
>i know there is no longer any hope
>i cannot continue this hollow, empty fight
>i mustn't sleep
>what hope is there for me?

>>35562212
I don't need a mantra, I need a gun

>>35562083
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1PmCooOqWHQ

>>35562083
if you think this is true then it's better you're dead

> hurr im 21 and my life is over IM SO SADDD

why blow your brains out like some sad cunt when you could go do some drugs, fuck some whores, and then drink yourself to death? dying any other way is just confirming that you let yourself be miserable. you have so much time to not be human trash, but it's obviously wasted on you.

>>35562155
This is surprisingly sensible advice. Get yourself voluntarily committed to a (reputable, well-reviewed) mental institution. I'd not recommend that to an American, since the debt would presumably be crippling, but as a Kanuck you've no excuse.

Feeling that you have no positive prospects in life whatsoever is very probably untrue for a guy in the first world. You have an illness that you'd be stupid not to treat.

>>35562287
It's more than I can put into a reply. I get it, I shouldn't do it, and I appreciate you trying to see about helping me, but let's be real- you have to try otherwise you'd feel bad about not attempting to intervene. You're a good person.

Some people just aren't meant to live a full life, people look at me and they don't see a person, I bet they see me as a monolith, a grey block- there's a reason why I've never had any friends, there's more to it but

What I'm doing right now isn't a life anyway, it hasn't changed, it won't

Just because if I talk about it, I might not want to do it, doesn't mean I shouldn't do it.

I don't want to say much more/explain because I might hurt someone reading. Just me.

>>35562343

Yeah no kidding guy, I don't want to do drugs, I don't want to fuck whores, and I don't want to poison myself, it sounds like it's all fun and games, but not for everyone. A lot has been wasted on me, I wouldn't even waste a bullet if I could just cease to exist.

>>35562177
No it's leaving and putting your troubles away by going to a completely new place and having fun

>>35562536
>go travel dude xD
>go see places dude xD

>>35562472
I don't want a mental institution, the idea isn't to fool myself into thinking I can "get better" or to "see things another way", there is only one way of seeing my existence, it's bleak and empty and everyone I know knows it, sometimes they don't want to admit it to me, but one person said a couple things that made me see things clearer. As cliche as it sounds, there's really no hope, I can go into psychoanalysis and be "convinced" otherwise for the rest of my life, only to come to the realization a day after every appointment when the verbal medication wears off, but at the end of the day, the truth is revealed.

How can it be that every life is worth living? Maybe a majority, but I feel I can look at my life objectively and say "Yeah, sure there's some good stuff going on, and you have a lot of opportunities" but there's more to life than work and school.

I wanted some normalcy, friends and loved ones, but it's obvious something doesn't want me to experience that.

>>35562343
>drink yourself to death
Because a headshot is less painful and faster than fucking up your liver and slowly dying from it?
What's wrong with you faggot, do you want OP to suffer a lot?

>>35562083
GIVE YOURSELF A SHOTGUN BLAST TO THE BRAIN AND MAYBE YOU'LL WAKE UP IN ANOTHER DIMENSION AS A LITTLE CHINESE KID

BUT PROBABLY JUST A WORM HOTEL ON PLANET EARTH, THAT'S ALL YOU FUCKING ARE, CUMMED OUT BY DAD AND SHOTGUNNED DOWN BY THE CUM'S OWN SEVERED HAND

DON'T PANIC OR CHICKEN OUT, SIMPLY DINE ON CHICKEN IN A PANIC, BRING THE SHOTGUN STRAIGHT TO THE RESTAURANT AND YOU CAN HAVE SOME COPS PULL THEIR TRIGGERS INSTEAD WHILE HAVING A TASTY TREAT OF DEAD ANIMAL MEAT, IT'S A BLAST YOUR LIFE IS LIKE FRUIT WITHOUT THE PUNCH, YOU FUCKING WATERMELON, I IMAGINE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SPEAK BRAILLE, ALL THE SKATER KIDS ARE SPEAKING IT DOWNTOWN KRUSTY KRAB

THE FACT YOU DON'T WANT TO THINK TWICE ABOUT PULLING THAT TRIGGER AND THE PAIN AND POSSIBILITIES THAT WILL FOLLOW SHOWS THAT YOU LACK RESOLUTION, YOU'RE JUST A LONELY SAD SOUL, I WILL LEND YOU MY BREAST AND YOU MAY SUCK OUT THE MOOSE MILK, I WILL PLAY THE HARP AND PAT YOUR TUMMY UNTIL YOU VOMIT OUT ALL THOSE HAIRBALLS YOUR RAT FACED MUMMY FED YOU AS A CHILD, YOU POUR CUMMIES MAN, JUST NEED SOME TENDIES FOR YOUR SOUL

YOU DON'T WANT TO HURT ANYONE? THE FACT YOU HAVE TO IMPLY THAT MEANS YOU GOTTA KILL THEM ALL JOHNNY, THE THOUGHT PASSED YOUR MIND, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM JOHNNY SO TAKE THAT SHOTGUN EAT SOME CHICKEN AND MOW THE HUMANS DOWN AND OUT LIKE WELL KEPT GRASS AT A LAWNMOWER CONVENTION,, HAVE YOURSELF A FRUIT PUNCH PARADE AND THE STARS WILL COME FALLING DOWN, GOD'S GONNA ROLL OUT THE RED CARPET JUST FOR YOU JOHNNY, YOUR LIFE IS ONE BIG PLAY AND WE'RE ALL IN ON IT, THE LITTLE SPIDER PEOPLE IN YOUR BRAIN ARE LAUGHING SO HARD THEIR WEBS ARE SHOOTING ALL OVER YOUR PLEASURE RECEPTORS AS WE SPEAK

JOHNNY I GOTTA TELL YOU, WHEN YOU'RE DEAD I WON'T REMEMBER, YOU PROBABLY DON'T CARE, BUT IF I KNEW YOU JOHNNY I WOULD GIVE YOU A BOWL OF SCRAMBLED EGGS, A SHOT OF MOM'S OLD "DIRTY RUSSIAN ASS" RECIPE OF VINEGAR VODKA, AND WE'D DINE ON THE FINEST CHICKEN

HAVE YOURSELF A QUICK DEATH YOU FUCKING LEAF

>>35562472
>go to a (((mental institution))) bro
>let them pump you up with jew drugs dude, totally worth it xD
Maybe OPs life is really not worth living and death is just the best solution you fucking normalfags.
I wouldn't like to encourage him to anhero but I won't be trying to kid myself or anyone and say the typical normie line "suicide is a oermanent solution to a temporary problem".

>>35562536
The things I consider fun aren't things I'll find on adventures.

I wanted someone to love, I wanted someone to love me, some friends who appreciate me and care, but I realize that's not possible,

My therapist said "People can wake up one day and just simply not love you anymore" so why should I bother putting myself through that pain over and over again? How will I ever know for sure, I'm not the type who finds ignoring something like that to be blissful

And friends can't be trusted, I've never had any real friends, probably for the same reason why nobody truly loved me, I'm unlovable and despite me wanting to change that, I just can't.

There's only one answer, the only place that (I hope) I can find peace is in death, but even if not, it can't be much worse than being here.

Travel to usa, go to a pawn shop

>>35562480
http://vocaroo.com/i/s048WVTuUhTT

I'm not a moralizing faggot, Anon. I don't want you to not kill yourself because of guilt or some other such none sense. I don't pity you, I look down at you, I see a boy on the cusp of manhood who might one day do something worthwhile and I see him willing to throw it all away./ It's pathetic. You can give it a listen if you want, I go a bit into detail on my own burdens and my own shit. I'm not saying everyone has to be as strong as me, but I'm also not going to try and help you out of pity or misguided guilt. I'm doing it because I want to. Because I know what it's like to be a boy in this world, what its like to feel so fucking alone in the face of it all. Because I can help. If you don't want me help, say so, I'll walk away and never think of you again. If you want the help, all you need do is ask.

>>35562586
wow strange

>>35562573
Samefag as before. You kind of almost get it, I think. The "something" that doesn't want you to be happy is very likely a chemical imbalance in your brain. I know that sounds naff but a lot of people in this world have had similarly fucked up brains and gone on to live long and fulfilling lives.

I've had depression for years and I know that hopelessness is an overwhelming certitude that feels more convincing that any rational argument or sentimental appeal. I can only tell you that these feelings are not based in fact and that if you really plan on ending it all, you have nothing to lose with going to therapy and taking drugs (no decent shrink would just talk to you with the strength of your suicidal ideations, imo).

>>35562624
Oh, do fuck off. This isn't /pol/

>>35562687
This medicine they give you just fucks you up you idiot.
Maybe it helps you the first times but eventually you get addicted to that shit and then when you quit that shit cold turkey because you are sick of chemical drugs, you will have the "time of your life" if you catch my drift.

>>35562627
I found all of those things and more. I got a one way airplane ticket rental car and slept in it. It was tons of fun you should try it

>>35562704
Thanks for the Church of Scientology talking points, friend. Do you have a leaflet I could take home?

>>35562724

Is it really that unbelievable that shit that fucks with your brain chemistry could have deliterious effects? Or are you being wilfully asinine.

>>35562724
>Thanks for the Church of Scientology talking points
That doesn't even make any fucking sense you faggot. You might as well just admit that you don't have any argument.

>>35562641
I feel like I've heard your voice before, but if you're from QC, I don't know who you are. As far as death being the ultimate 0, I don't know if I agree, I know suicide is a sin, therefore I want to minimize the amount of sins I commit in hopes that if there is a heaven, I am accepted into it. I'm not really sure what else to say in response to everything else, but I think it's nice that you care enough to talk to me about yourself.

>>35562669
That's pretty cool, I kind of humanize this "stopping power" in my life, but it could be this imbalance, but the imbalance would be all in my head, the things I experience happen outside of it, so there's gotta be something else involved here. Believe it or not, the shrink kind of made me want to kill myself more. He more or less said "You're right, you're just placing blame when you shouldn't be" which I don't agree with. I can't stop what's going on around me, I can opt out though.

>>35562637
That's actually a really good idea

>>35562641
>mother is a coal burner
>half cast
I know a half cast guy myself and mentally he is a fucking abomination. Only difference is, it's his father who drilled the oil.
Sometimes he can act civilized but sometimes his nigger side takes over. This is why race mixing is wrong.

>>35562759
>>35562762

These are literally CoS talking points, though? There are obviously a fuckload of psychotropic medicines, many of which are non-addictive and generally fairly benign. Considering anything that crosses the brain-blood barrier affects your brain chemistry, including coffee, nicotine and alcohol, I'd say you're a damn sight safer taking a controlled amount of something that's been thoroughly tested in double-blind studies that drinking a bottle of bub.

>>35562785
So I got stoned and apparently I'm way more fucking positive when I'm high. Seriously, it's like night and fucking day.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0VjuKenTDa1

>>35562816
>This is why race mixing is wrong.

n=1 today boys

>>35562759
You're right comrade. I took Venlafaxine for a year and a half and while I was on it, I struggled with my sex drive, musical inspiration (towards the end of my period of use), and I gained a shocking amount of weight. I am now free of the meds

>>35562887
Are you the OP?

////
Original

>>35562785
Samefag again. I mean, obviously, depression affects the quality and quantity of the relationships in your life, so you're going to get to a situation where your illness isolates you and gives you more-or-less objective reasons to feel depressed, but I think at this point any plan to fix that starts with you rather than your environment, if that makes any sense.

>>35562862
>These are literally CoS talking points, though?

We have a poisoning the well going on here folks.

>There are obviously a fuckload of psychotropic medicines, many of which are non-addictive and generally fairly benign.

Another logical fallacy, weasel wording. "Obviously" presents the assumption that you are correct and frames the discussion around that. You're presenting it as factual without presenting evidence in support.

>Considering anything that crosses the brain-blood barrier affects your brain chemistry, including coffee, nicotine and alcohol, I'd say you're a damn sight safer taking a controlled amount of something that's been thoroughly tested in double-blind studies that drinking a bottle of bub.

Here we have an acceptable argument, albeit a bit more opinionated than I'd like.

Absolutely, certain substances will help, that is undeniable. I'm sitting here high as a kite and let me tell you, it's making it a lot easier to have a rational discussion with an idiot who opens his offense by poisning the well like a little bitch.

However, to not present any concerns about that dynamic is foolhardy and presents itself as naivety of the highest order. To blindly trust anything is foolish, no matter what "authority" presents it to you.

As for your original point

>"These are like, literally X"

Nazi germany like, literally created the lunch break and shit. But it's literally a Hitler idea so we literally shouldn't use that as a talking point because they were literal nazis.

Fuck off, that's how you sound, you retard. Never initiate a debate with poisoning the well, its very easily debunked and makes you look like a first grader.

>>35562915
I am not, I am the dude replying in vocaroos because I feel like talking to people.

>>35562893
I mean, with the stronger medications (and Venlafaxine is strong as shit iirc), it's a trade-off of side-effects vs. clear and present risk to yourself, but that's still preferable to offing yourself.

>>35562962
I going to ignore all the sophomoric aggression here (no offense) and say that it's why I advised in my original post to find a reputable, well-reviewed mental institution. Besides, outside of the US, over-prescription of psychotropics is much less prevalent, so I think advising a guy who has a date planned for his suicide already to get a more effective therapy+drug regimen isn't particularly irresponsible.

>>35562083
Taking your own life instead of being charitable is deeply self-centered.
Eternal torment most certainly awaits you.

>>35563037
> going to ignore all the sophomoric aggression here (no offense)

I get political when i'm high, and philosophical, and weirdly aggressive sexually. It's coo'

>irresponsible

It absolutely isn't, I'm just speaking from a place of annecdotal knowledge. I've dealt with a handful of therapists throughout my life, I don't like them. I don't mind sitting down and talking to them as people, but I abhor therapists, they aren't very helpful to me. Each and every one of them has told me I'm fine in some form or another and offered no assistance for my underlying issues. I just have an earned mistrust for them simply put.

>>35563076
My existence is far from charitable, what else am I supposed to do?

>>35563100
Like I said, Anon. Existence precedes Essence. You can literally choose to be happy despite everything. It isn't easy, but it's how I get by.

>>35563077
Ha, glad we de-escalated this. Honestly, my experience with mental health people hasn't been all hunky dory either, but well, urgent situations sometimes require urgent means.

>>35563135

I agree, I just disagree with your approach, though as I mentioned, those are my own biases on the subject. Of course for everyone of me, you could find one who got the help they needed and are better for it.

I'm just not big on giving away my freedom, which is why I responded to OP in the first place. It's a weird mental thing with me, I tend to fall into a position of leadership, but I can't imagine giving freedom to someone else. It boggles my mind how people are willing to do that, some going so far as to demanding people like me do the same.

Sorry, got a bit off course there.

>>35562887
Sorry to be so bold, but just telling what I see. You two would probably go along fine although you'd probably kill eachother at some point for stupid reasons.
>So I got stoned
Dude weed, eh. Used to smoke that crap myself with said half cast guy. He was a fucking junkie and couldn't handle a day without some green. I'm glad I stopped that shit and he stopped too because my quitting motivated him.

>>35563127
>I get political when i'm high
Let me guess
>dude like, fuck borders n laws n shit amirite? xD
>you choose to be happy
No, you don't. This is just another variation of the just-world hypothesis

>>35563127
Sorry, was supposed to reply to this:
>>35563077

File: 1488752339122.jpg (758KB, 1106x1012px) Image search: [Google]

758KB, 1106x1012px

>>35562083

Do you live in Vancouver familiar?

I have 0 friends here and non judgmental, have the same thoughts but not for a whilst as things picked up.

Either go through the pretty long process of getting a licence or just order one of the d33p w3b

>>35563537
Nah, I'm not that far down the libertarian rabbit hole. I believe in the need for a state, I just don't think it should be as large as it is. Borders need to exist so we have some semblance of order and society.

But if you'd prefer I can just dudelmao for a while instead.

>No, you don't.

Yes, you do. If we have to accept that we are in control of our own actions, then we are responsible for our own happiness. You have to choose to be happy, not that weird nebulous bullshit of always smiling or whatever, but happy, content with the present, content within your own chambers.

>>35563568
I'm gonna be near vancouver this summer :^)

I'll be on a terminal illness treatment tho

Before you go op. Can you tell us how to overcome the survival instinct in order to join you?

>>35562586
i kinda liked this diarrhoea post