this is a thread for the very lonely. im talking no friends to

I haven't had a friend since 2009. I've forgotten how to make any new ones a long time ago.

I lost all my friends since I was too depressed to ever leave the house or do anything. I would never message them or anything because I thought they hated me, and I was always a bummer to be around when out. Since losing them I only became more depressed. Now I go weeks without having a human interaction with someone who aren't my parents. I don't talk to anyone in my classes, I feel like I've actually become socially retarded. The other day someone sat next to me in a full class and tried to initiate small talk. I must have come across as an asshole because I stayed quiet and gave one word answers, but really I was panicking on the inside and I really wanted to come across as normal and kind. But I just don't know what to say to people, my mind blanks.

I really wish I had someone to talk to and open up in real life, but I can't trust people and no one cares for me because I'm ugly and an asshole.

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>>35561183
>what have you done to try to achieve a being to want to be in your presence?
I can't tell if im too drunk or this made no sense

>how do you make friends?
idk, I've literally not had a friend since i was 9. My only close social interactions come from my brother, sister and cousins

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>>35561183
>what have you done to try to achieve a being to want to be in your presence?

I meticulously scrutinized every aspect of my personality searching for what makes me unlikable, pulling out every weed I could find only to realize all I had left was a barren field that only grows anxieties. Even if I was magically cured of my insecurities tomorrow it would take years if not decades to rebuild myself to something acceptable by the public.

only friend moved to the city. now i just have the weed connect i got from him

guess you can say i have given up

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>>35561183
my entire life friendless. recently i bought magic and yugioh cards so i can try to interact. also got a job at a casino. maybe i can make friends, but im unsure. im used to it by now if i never get friends. im used to being sheltered and isolated. at least i have trustfund and will never become homeless or poor.