>memory fuzzy at best >constantly 'waking up'

Bump sounds like me

Mind fog.

Also, you've probably been depressed for a very long time.

>>35555487
depersonalization/derealization maybe?

File: y7YqMwt.jpg (198KB, 1200x675px) Image search: [Google]

198KB, 1200x675px

>>35555928
>>35555901
i'll look into these, thank you for your help

>>35555858
also i know it doesn't help but i hope you're okay

>>35555487
Thats phase 3 in the sequence of doom and enlightenment.
Disintegration continues until the soul dies or is reborn.

1.Become reserved, Become depressed.
2.Stop obligations, lie in bed or sit staring often
3.Brain fog (What you have)
4.Suicide. Suicide can be replaced with love, if you find it.
Instead of number 4, you could take the dabrowski path to option 5, which is full positive disintegration, full enlightenment, and full power.
The alternative to #4 can only be a few things though, the more the better.
1.Military combat
2.Traveling alone
3.Imprisonment
4. Acquisition of physical or mental strength/ abilities.


Individuals that come to mind when thinking of positive disintegration theory:
Genghis Khan
Adolph Hitler
Umar

The most rapid expansions in all history were always completed by those that life had crushed, but fought in spite of it.

File: 1488495159471.jpg (467KB, 1280x1114px) Image search: [Google]

467KB, 1280x1114px

>>35556091
which is all fair enough, but i don't aspire to historical rapid expansion, or any of the others.

i don't particularly believe in redemption of condition or salvation, i just want to get a name to a face figuratively speaking.

that said, appreciate the perspective

>>35555997
depersonalization and derealization are induced by anxiety and depression, they aren't a standalone condition. please don't look this up too much, the more you read into it, the more you'll convince yourself it's incurable, which will make you anxious and depressed, thus continuing the cycle and fueling the depersonalization.

work on your anxiety and depression, and the depersonalization will disappear. i use to have this, and im fine now.

>>35556181
>multimillionaire
>still uses shitty apple earbuds

god t.swift is a fucking pleb

>>35555997
>>35556819
just to add on, depersonalization is like safe mode for your brain, shielding you from having to actually experience things. it's an automatic coping mechanism that can get stuck for a while sometimes, if you have a traumatic experience or long term depression/anxiety. eventually it goes away once you work on those things. most of all, don't be anxious or worry about your condition, because it's completely natural and normal and will go away on its own. nothing is wrong with you.

>>35556819
>i use to have this

see >>35556181

i can't lose my job to some insanity that i caved into long ago. i'm not looking for treatment, thanks anyway.

>>35555487
I have your first and third point but not your second

I call it brain fog, doesn't seem to be an officially medically recognized condition

No medical expert so this is useless speculation, but I think it can be caused by or linked to depression, diabetes, alcoholism, poor diet, and frequent herpes outbreaks

In my case I was NEET for three years and started drinking every day. It doesn't seem to be crippling (yet), I am getting through an accounting program at a fairly good university and there's a lot to remember, but it is definitely annoying to the point where it's borderline infuriating.

You should watch out if you start mumbling or slurring, whispering or mixing up words - my friend had that and developed schizophrenia. He was mixed race, smoked weed every day, NEET for 2 years, not sure if any of those are related.

Some people say you'll go crazy if you do nothing all day and I believe it.

>>35557025
seems like a symptom not a problem, which is what i've thought. i also know your feel. sometimes i wonder if the lost neet years impaired my brain for good.

>go crazy if you do nothing all day
i always wonder about this.

File: 1482455014528.jpg (40KB, 431x415px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 431x415px

>>35557025
also involuntary speech is something that almost seems to happen but either passes as not happening or is generally ignored.

am i disabled

>>35557287
>involuntary speech
is this a thing? When I'm alone there's a few phrases I will literally say out loud several times a day, not if I'm consciously trying not to, but when I'm focused on something else. This is a recent development from about five years ago. When I was a teenager, I didn't even "think" in words or language most of the time, now I think in words and rarely say them out loud

I can always keep quiet around other people though, so I don't think it's something like Tourette's syndrome (involuntary tics, even in public)

maybe the alcoholic -> rambling hobo progression is real

>>35555487
I kinda have these symptoms too, OP.
>>35555555

I used to get this a lot as a kid, like the whole world dropped out from underneath me for a moment and I wasn't sure of who I was. My suggestion would be to look into Alan Watts recordings and realize that this feeling is more real than anything else and it's hiding something more incredible than you could imagine.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5M27v1C3bE