Any bots encounter a drug test in their life? How'd it go?

Do not walk away. That's about as black mark as it gets. Alcohol does not come up on drug tests, since it's too common in food and metabolized too well, and not even illegal. As for weed, dude, just stop until after you get hired. Stop being a fucking degenerate.

Or you can just tell them that you smoke weed. Most places don't care anymore these days and would rather you be honest and just tell them. If you don't tell them and fail it you won't get the job. If you tell them and fail it you might get the job.

>>35531441
You piss in a bottle then shit lights up on some chemistry thing.
>>35531513
How was your last random drug test?

I've been drug tested 3 time and never had to worry because I don't do drugs like a fucking normie retard.

Here's how I beat my drug test. It wasn't a quality test, obviously. Though, I did smoke every day including the day of the test.

The piss you put in the cup shouldn't be your first piss of the day. I had gone to the bathroom twice that day before taking my test. Urine that's been sitting in your body overnight will contain more traces of bad, nasty chemicals.

Fill the cup on mid stream. I peed in the urinal some, then filled the cup, then finished in the urinal. There's reasons, but they're obscure and arguable.

No exercise. The chemicals in weed that they test for are stored largely in your fat cells. You don't want to burn fat as it will release those chemicals into your bloodstream and thusly, your piss.

I drank Pepsi and Coke. I chose dark drinks because If my pee were too clear, they would've made me retake the test, suspecting something shady. Also, the caffeine and diuretic effects of those drinks meant they would pass quickly through my body, meaning less chance of them lingering to absorb chemicals.

Stay hydrated. More water in your body means more dilution of your urine. It also means your urine will be comprised of water which hadn't been in your body as long.

None of these things will keep your urine from containing chemicals that will blow your test for you. That's not the point. The point is to dilute your urine enough to keep the levels of these chemicals below the testable threshold. You need a certain amount of any given chemical for it to register on any test. Some tests are more sensitive than others. Mine were those cheap Wal-Mart type tests, so the threshold was relatively high.

I also took a ton of Echinacea & Goldenseal before and leading up to my test, but labs frequently test for those now. Labs also test for Niacin and other various chemicals niggers will tell you to use.

These methods aren't your best bet, but they help many with cheap tests, such as myself.

dont fall for the fake piss meme, those shits make you wait sooo damn long your piss goes cold no matter what heating pack bs you have

>>35531441
dont ask if youll be tested. youre supposed to act like you never do drugs and a test will be no problem. youll never get a job if you ask about drugs, cause any normal person will assume you are from that point on.

It'll take about three months max for your piss to naturally be clean. Less if you're not a super heavy smoker.

If you're gonna dilute your piss, take some vitamin b supplements to make it yellow so you look less shady. If you have the time to detox, exercise up until a few days before the test to speed up the process. Eat mad healthy metabolism boosting shit. Basically the more effort you put into getting clean the better. I was a pretty heavy smoker with only a few weeks to get clean and did it with every trick you'll find online.

Lots of water and diuretics will likely help, but it hasn't been proven. Better to err on the side of caution though. I took those pills ladies use to prevent period bloating, because it pulls the water from your fat cells. That's where THC byproducts are stored.

The best shit to do is test yourself with home test kits. They sell them pretty much everywhere. They're definitely not as precise as your employer will be, but a lot of them let you send samples to their lab for more thorough (and confidential) testing. Take advantage of that. It'll only cost around $15 total.

In the future, get a weed prescription if you can. That way it's legal, even if you lie to get it. Good luck anon.

>>35531441
I got tested when I enlisted for the Marines at MEPS and when I got a job at a grocery store before that; I know some places don't even test. Try a pizza delivery joint, some of them don't test.

So how are you paying for weed and alcohol if you don't have a job? Mommy and daddy's cash?

>>35531441

Pissed
In
A
Fucking
Condom
And
Tie
It
To
Your
Leg.

What the fuck is wrong with you? If you take drugs you will fail a drug test, no am9uny of passing mid stream (actually good advice btw) will cover up THC in your system. 30 days is how long it can take to be purged from your system

>>35531441
>drug test
>min wage places
the fuck?.

>>35533075

Instructions : fill a condom with piss and tie it to your inner thigh. When you go to take the test, go into the bathroom and untie the condom, pour the piss into the cup, and flush the condom.

i've taken a drug test

here is the exact process

>you walk into some depressing office looking place
>you sign in at the desk
>once you give them your ID they will look you up and see your employer wants a drug screen
>you will sit in a waiting room
>notice all the signs about parole/probation (lots of people are there to get tested as part of a prison release thing)
>eventually a dude calls you back
>gives you a cup
>says "go pee in this cup"
>sends you to a bathroom next to his door (so he can listen, seriously)
>guy says "when the door closes, the water will turn off, so DO NOT FLUSH THE TOILET
>this is so you can't dilute the sample cup with water
>pee in cup
>tell him you're finished
>he lets you out
>toilet flushes
>you get to wash your hands
>guy stares at the cup for a little bit
>he is looking for the temperature indicator (on the cup) to register where it should be
>obviously if it's not the right temp for urine then your sample is disqualified
>once the temp clears the guy says thanks and you leave
>you never hear the results
>your job eventually tells you to come in for the next part of the process

i smoke weed but i knew pretty far in advance so i cut it out for over a month and i was obviously fine for the test
they will not screen or look for alcohol, even if you are a minor. they only do that for people who can't drink as part of a dui program or stuff like that.

weed usually flushes out of your system within a month, depending on frequency of use and metabolism
you can check with at-home tests at walgreens

i know a guy who successfully smuggled clean urine in using a ziploc bag of pee wrapped up in hand-warmers taped to his ballsack. that worked, somehow. i know another guy who tried a similar technique and failed. best bet is to actually just stop smoking and do it for real

File: 1438967773525.jpg (73KB, 619x573px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 619x573px

>quit all drugs a couple months ago
>had to take a test before starting my new job
>spent the entire wait in full PANIC mode
At least it came back clean through some miracle.

>>35533215
I think weed is the drug that lasts in your system the longest, they say about a month. I failed a drug test because of weed after being 25 days clean, but before then I'd smoked every single night for a while.

>>35533462
I was never really into weed unless my dealer offered it. I guess I didn't really need to worry.

drug tests are easy. more like how does one deal with being fired before

>>35533075
>>35533110
Instead of jumping through all these hoops, why don't you just quit for a while?