who here /helpless/? >mommy and daddy been gone for 4 days

>>35516857
did they leave you some coloured paper before they left? thats called money.
Go to store. pick what you want. give money

mummy forgot to give me lunch money for uni today, quite fucking annoyed with the dumb bitch to be honest

There will eventually come a time when mommy and daddy will be dead, OP, and you will have to go to the store yourself.

>>35516857
Don't you have any eggs in a fridge? You can make lots of goods stuff out of them

>>35516903
why say such messed up things
>>>/x/

>>35516914
this post made me stop sobbing in my bed. i laughed. thank you

Op come back, you're not dead of starvation? Are you?

order piza

>>35516857
Go to the store you silly boy.

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>>35516912
I'm scared to cook them I dont want to get salmonella
>>35517092
I was looking for some more candy my mommy keeps mint candies in her room she hides them though
>>35517105
That's worse than going to the store

>>35516857

look, youre gonna have to recycle your poop. shape it into a doughnut and hold your nose when you gobble it down.

>>35517124
You won't get salmonella if you cook em big boy

>>35517124
Just put two or three eggs in a microwave oven and set it for 2 minutes!

How I wish this was bait

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>>35517172
what if they explode in the microwave? What if there is a little baby chicken in the egg? I'm just gonna wait for my parents to call me mommy said they would call to check up on me i'll ask them to send me some food or guide me on cooking

>>35517210
You're a smart boy! But there can't be a little chicken for sure.

>>35516857
>don't know how to buy anything

I understood the concept of exchanging goods for currency when I was like 5 years old

>>35517124
order pizza online
no one will notice

>>35517124
What's wrong with ordering food?

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>>35517284
I get the concept but it has many nuances that I make me nervous? What if I forget to give the person all the money? Then I go to jail? It's not worth it for me
>>35517300
I don't know my address so I don't know where to tell them to put the food. It's ok mommy is gonna call soon i texted her she'll know what to do

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>>35517425
hmmmm.....I understand veeri rusky these days with all those geo political socio economical issues these days good save
lucky you got that mommy for you those addresses these days are very complex to remember

>>35517425
If you forget to give all the money they just remind you, it's not scary at all

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I have to go watch TV now. Bye everyone I found some old top raemn I can eat in the small cupboard

>>35517518
Heh that's a very cute pepe

>>35517518
Bye! Please, tell us when you come back. I worry about you.

>>35517425
>tfw you had me going for a second

Autism roleplaying. I know this is nothing new for r9k, but still, we live in strange times.

it was believable at the start

>>35517563
really? do you find it happens that often?

>>35517518
I fucking hate it when friends leave me for tv. I can't even compete with regular friends how can I defeat that behemoth

>>35517582
Some suffer from crippling anxiety. Mix that with a lack of intelligence/education and a lack of proper self-awareness (being awkward doesn't count) and you get a helpless autist.

lmao this thread is fucking funny

>tfw cant peel a banana

i just dont understand how it works

>>35517644

so monkey outsmarts you? you need to kill monkey to get revenge.

>>35516890
Wow, imagine paying for food for fucks sake. Be grateful

>>35516888
> Paper of colour
FTFY