So have escorts ever laughed at you or a request you've

nobody here's been with an escort before?

>>35511525
bump for some advice from u bots

was thinking of hiring an escort but i pussied out since im too fucking awkward and keep thinking about how im gonna fuck it up

I don't think an escort would know how to teach you to please a woman. That sounds more like your own fantasy.

I have a hard time imagining literal whores are even capable of enjoying sex

>>35511425
she'll be fine with helping you if you're paying. she's the one being pleased. don't be such a pussy.

i've never had to hire an escort because i'm pretty but i know how money and pleasure work.

a chink hooker was jerking me off once and she moved her hand down to touch my asshole and gave me a look like she was really doing me a personal favour
not like my prostate area between the balls and asshole but my actual asshole
i did enjoy it but i was highly insulted that she just assumed i would
maybe she thought i was gay

>>35511946
>getting out of my job as a security guard
>walking on downtown at 9PM
>lots of hookers around the street
>pay no attention to them because autistic and tired as fuck
>one girl tells me to get close to her and says "you can do me for 10$ if you want"
>Do what?
>She gives me "that look" you know the one
>"Nevermind, it's nothing"
>okay
>Realize hours later
>feel like a retard

>>35512081
I've noticed a lot of people are starting to put the money sign after the number, is this some kind of hipster fad?

>>35511425
>20 year old
If I were you I'd shoot for one in their mid-twenties. Young enough to still be hot, but chances are they've been working long enough not to be too awkward or unsure of themselves.

Regardless, if you're visiting a decent-quality escort and not some street walker, she'd probably be fine with this request. It's easy, painless money.

>>35511910
If you visit hooker sites they all seem to like virgin/inexperienced johns.

>>35512147
The sign goes after the number in my country, so it's just habit now.

>>35511999
>i did enjoy it but i was highly insulted that she just assumed i would
wew lad

>>35511425
If an escort laughs, she needs to find a new job

t. actual escort

Getting a women to show you what to do will end badly. My mom used to give me relationship advice in school. I never was able to get a girlfriend and People made fun of me. It wasn't untill I started doing what I felt like untill I got some progress.

>>35512173
What country?
Here in the US we only put the cent sign behind numbers. Dollar always goes in front.

>>35511425
>What are the chances she'll laugh at me?
Very high, but she will also go through with it.
I've done goofy things while being with hookers and they laugh. It's ok.
I prefer it over being dead inside and giving no feedback.

>>35511425
Try to phrase it in a way that's less dramatic and cliched and she'll be less likely to laugh at you.

The nature of the relationship is such that you shouldn't really care if she does, but it can be a boner killer for some people so manage the interaction in whatever way works for you sexually and don't make yourself vulnerable if you're not good with vulnerability. glhf

>>35512307
>getting sex advice from an escort is equivalent to getting dating advice from your mother

>>35511425
you'll have better luck getting help with your request from an older escort.

>>35512904
how old should I go for? I was thinking maybe 40-50 year old escort would be a pro, but they'd also probably have at least 2 stds if they've been doing it for that long

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How do I find a fembot escort in Southern California?

>>35513050
try using backpage or craigslist if you want a quick fuck. but if you want the fresh raw barely legal meat just download some "hookup" apps like tinder and meetme

>>35513129
both of those took down their escort sections

tinder doesn't work because im ugly, that's why i'm seeking an escort

>>35513143
no on backpage look at the dating section under women for men. with the hook up apps it doesn't matter if your the ugliest guy in the world. The escorts will still message you asking if you want to have a good time

>>35513143
>tinder doesn't work because im ugly,
meirl.
The developers refuse to acknowledge the bug.

>>35513260
>The escorts will still message you asking if you want to have a good time

this never happened to me... i only got bots that wanted me to sign up using a referral url. i used to use tinder a shitload, only got obese blacks and bots.

Escorts are great anon. Look up "escort review sites" so you know you're getting a legit good escort.

Sadly, escorts aren't for me because I'm too paranoid. I saw 3 escorts, and for weeks after each one I was paranoid as fuck about getting some kind of STD. I never got any in the end, but I'd rather just fap to porn and save money than have some sex and be paranoid about STDs for weeks.

>>35513278
well fuck i guess even escorts have standards then

>>35512236
Please be my escort gf

>>35513329
>gf
I'm pretty sure it's a faggot. Are you new to this shithole?

>>35511999
>i did enjoy it but was highly insulted

Fucking kek'd

>>35511999
>not like my prostate area between the balls and asshole but my actual asshole

should look up some male anatomy.

>>35513005
i woulds say go for someone 30 to 40

>>35511425
If they laugh at me, I will simply give up on them and kick them out with out paying them.

I did not pay them to insult me.

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>>35513899
What if them insulting me turns me on?

>>35513931
lol you can find a dominatrix for that

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>>35513977
Those cost more though.

Also is it weird that I just want a girl that will emotionally (maybe sometimes even physically) abuse me and tell me exactly what to do at all times?

>>35514064
no not at all. I read an article a while ago that said it's actually the CEO and other people in high position's favorite kink because they lose all their power and don't have to make any decisions

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>>35513977
Also if its a dominatrix i feel like i'd still feel like im more in control because im paying for the service, but if its just an escort who's off the cuff humiliating me she would feel more in control then with a dominatrix.

>>35514064
>is it weird
no
>is it healthy
no
>is it normal
no
>is it common
no


>>35514111
they had power in the first place senpai, what about you? What are you even giving up.

>>35514153
what's not healthy about being bound, gagged, and humiliated by a woman?

>>35511425
If you have her donation and youre clean/ smell good, you'll be good to go. I have seen 5 or 6 escorts since June and haven't had any laugh at me.

>>35515230
what kind of stuff do you do with them? like do you make any weird requests?

>>35512236
>t. actual escort
hhhnnngggg

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Anyone got the tumblr of that infuriating prostitute/cartoonist ?

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>>35515508
get ready to rage
http://brothelgirl.tumblr.com/tagged/brothel-girl-comix

if i find a hooker would it be weird to stare into her eyes the whole time i'm fucking her?

>>35512350
Most, if not all, countries in europe.

>>35512155
>If you visit hooker sites they all seem to like virgin/inexperienced johns.
Less chance of STDs. Same reason they say "no black men"

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I called one off backpage and she laughed and asked how old I was and said that I sounded 12

I hung up and cried for 30 minutes

>>35515702
top kek this just made my day

>>35515558
Is this supposed to make me mad?

>WOW A PROSTITUTE DOESN'T ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT HER CLIENTELE

Would you get mad if the lady at McDonald's complained about customers?

>>35515733
I think she is not careless, but more thinks it is *cute*.

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>>35515733
Have you even opened the link?
She literally thinks she's better than her clients actively tries to make their experience as robotic and devoid of joy as possible and has a serious entitlement issue.
There's not caring about customers and then there's making fun of them.

>>35515558
What type of mental gymnastics does one have to go though to get to this point. Her entire value in life is her body. She justifies herself with her hobby of making fun of the equally broken people that actually pay for sex.

>>35515837
she doesn't, she's making fun of him. look at the other comics

>>35515854
i dont understand that one. anybody care to explain?

I want to fuck one of theses escorts but how do I know if it's a cop or not? That's really the only thing stopping me

>>35515907
Apparently you're "immature" if you don't want to pay for sex with a woman on her period.

I can't get laid but I think going to escort is giving up and accepting I'm broken failure

Also Im tall and good looking so that's double failure

>>35515940
I'm pretty sure cops aren't allowed to post ads as hookers because that would be entrapment. the undercover cops that pose as hookers on streets is different because it's literally just a woman standing by the street so that's not entrapment at all.

>>35515982
>Im tall and good looking
How can't you get laid? Have you ever tried to use tinder?

>>35516009
Yes I deleted my tinder after a week. I had like 20 matches and all of them ghosted me or didn't reply at all

>>35515987
Nice, thanks for the lesson anon. Good to know. Some of these girls are attractive girls are they usually like that or am I in for a nice surprise. If there ehh I don't mind

>>35516035
Fuck some escorts and use that time to focus on self

>>35515940
>>35515987
The idea that in 2017 two adults still can't consentually agree to partake in a mutually benefitial activity that doesn't hurt anyone, is truly mind boggling.
How is it that feminists who are supposedly all about womens bodily autonomy aren't fighting for this?

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>>35516035
Keep trying fag. I was a hkv and boom I fucked a 24 year old Mexican milfl on my konosuba blanket while watching konosuba I even yelled make America great again as I came.
Pic related is her wearing my maga hat.

>>35516041
well it really just depends on the quality of their photo. If their pic is grainy and looks like it was taken with a shitty phone then she's probably real. But it the pic looks professional porn shoot quality then she's definitely doesn't look like that at all

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>tfw Backpage escorts taken down for Florida

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>>35516090
like there's a 99% chance this one is fake

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>>35516090
and this one is most likely real. i pulled both of these from backpage btw

>>35516090
Oh shit nice,
>>35516131
>>35516122
Yea that looks fake as shit, so what's the price range on these girls, if you happen to know. I want to have some info before I start calling

>>35516163
there's no average. some of the girls ask for $100 for an hour and some $300 for half an hour. one wanted to charge me $600 for an hour just because I said she looked hot. so don't mention your interest in them or they'll hike up the price

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>>35515854
She has every right to think you're pathetic for purchasing sex. Also, pic related, how prostitutes see you.

>>35516295
Oh shit okay that's good to know. Thoughts on where to bang them? Thinking about bringing them to my place but not sure if safe?

>>35515940
Take a vacation in a country where it's legal. Basically anywhere but Burgerland. Mexico, Germany...

>>35516303
>to be that bitch

It's just sex why care what she thinks?

>>35516321
well i usually go to their place(they can't rob you or anything like that at their place because you know where they live) or rent out a motel room if they live in a shady neighborhood. i've never brought one home so sorry i can't help you there.

>>35516335
Going to Ecuador this summer heard it legal there with brothels and shit, pretty stoked

>>35516303
Yeah, that is exactly what I'm talking about. Wtf is her problem?
poor bait btw

>>35516303

Pic related is just the bitches buckling, they know they have to pay the pimp, they know there's no way back and they know their place. No matter how they paint us with shit, they will still be dirtier than all of us combined.

Count them dicks and pay them checks, then bitch.

>>35516356
Makes sense, thanks anon. I'm off!

>>35516361

She works in a brothel where she probably gets fucked 20+ times a day no matter what, I so there's no way she enjoys it and doesn't have to worry about guys coming back as there'll always be new guys coming in.

Seeing an independent is probably more fulfilling as they see less guys and therefore put more of an effort in to secure repeat customers.

>you will never have cocaine fueled BDSM sex with the escort who took your virginity again
JUST

>>35516383
btw make sure to ask them if they're clean and what will they not do

>>35516393
Sure, but there's a difference between not enjoying it and making an active effort to not enjoy it (which I would assume makes the whole thing less enjoyable for the client as well), no?
I agree on the independent point though.

>>35516402
Oh fuck that's right, I'm not into anything crazy. So I guess I'll be good in that aspect

>>35516393
>Seeing an independent is probably more fulfilling as they see less guys and therefore put more of an effort in to secure repeat customers.
How true is this?

>>35516393
this. i read a thread here a few years ago where an anon described how he fell in love with an escort and spent all his money on her because she treated him like they were in love and he was her boyfriend

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Alright /r9k/ third to reply to me decides who I txt and lose my virginity to.

>>35516449
That happened again not so long ago, like I said then I'll say it again the kid was an idiot

>>35516467
not any of the niggers
have some self respect

>>35516467
bottom left corner sexy latina mix

>>35516467
Blonde/blue eyes on top right
But in the middle of it call her a bitch

>>35516467
be a real man and lose your virginity to a threesome with the top right corner and top left corner

>>35516496
What do I txt her first? Literally have never sen't a msg to anyone besides family. Didn't have any friends at school so don't know how people talk.

>>35516542
talk to her about the weather
then smoothly direct the conversation where you want it to go
then tell her about the jews

>>35516542
Saw your ad and I'm interested? No need to be shy she wants the money

>>35516542
just send her a vague question like "how much for a good time?" or if you want to get straight to the point "how much for an hour?"

>>35516492
>not top of the left corner
Fucking pleb

>>35516569
>>35516574
>>35516578
I was going to txt her but then I noticed her disgusting tattoo's. As a virgin I have standards.

http://houston.backpage.com/WomenSeekMen/new-new-new-beautiful-barbie/48383232

>>35516617
I would hit that, tattoos are meaningless

>>35516601
Prove you're not a pleb

>>35516617
go for the top left, she has less tattoos

>>35512081
You made the right choice lad. It's not your autism, your unconscious mind knows better

>>35511425
Why would she? youre a paying customer. Stop being so insanely beta, its a whore she makes money fucking old men. if anyone should laugh its you.

man up and tell her what you want, shell handle it. shell most likely think its cute.

>>35512081
>>35516715
exactly,
a hooker that takes $10 is a major red flag. Best case, you get every std in the book - worst case, you end up in a red room snuff film.

>>35516617
keep us updated on how everything goes because now I wanna hire an escort too

>>35516828
lol, she just had a slow day and was desperate.

if I hire a hooker should I get completely naked? I personally don't really see the point in doing that since she's a hooker and it's not gonna be intimate in any way

>>35517056
every hooker i've seen just demands i get naked right away i don't know if that's normal though

>>35517083
this, sometimes I keep my boxers on but some of them don't appreciate it.

>>35517102
one time i saw one and it was raining so she stripped me off and got naked then we stood naked in front of the heater in a nonsexual way
it was super weird but she acted so casual it was impossible to feel awkward

>>35517083
>>35517102
ok thanks guys. should i shave my pubes and back hair before i hire a hooker?

>>35517126
if female yes if male no wtf lol why would you?

i usually only see cheap indie asian girls and they are so fucking dumb desu you gotta be mad picky to not get aids
their ads are poorly written and they don't seem to speak much english at all in person, and they seem to have no idea that sti's are a thing
they do cim, unprotected oral and i even saw a few that did rubberless fucking
it's legit retarded
maybe they're like rural people who don't have a modern education or they're just suicidal i don't know why anyone would take that risk in their right mind

>>35517126
Its a fucking hooker lmao they'd be happy if you even bothered to shower

>>35517140
because on all the porn i've seen guys pubic area is always clean shaven

>>35511425
None.

She will most likely be nice about it because believe it or not those girls are usually extremely fun to talk to and make really decent psychologists plus since she's getting paid about it she'll do anything you want.

i want to try and hire a hooker to do something really mundane like have a conversation or play video games or something
so many shitty comedy shows have done that for a bit but i'm sure they'd do it irl if you payed them enough

>>35517306
oh course they'll do it. shit i'd do that for $1

i got a hooker to squeeze my balls once at normal rate no extras and it was't awkward just grabbed her hand and showed her what to do and she did it

>>35517258
>porn is an accurate representation of real sex

Are you 14 years old? She's a whore, she doesn't care what you look like. If she was picky about fucking pubic hair, she wouldn't make very much money

>>35516467
new management "cherry"
>>35517126
If it's female, it would only be nice. Just make sure you get it clean, stubbly is neither nice for you nor her.
>>35516617
I that case, as a customer you have standards

Why would she laugh OP she is selling you something and the better she does that the more likely you'll come back for more. Just talk to her about what you want to do and if it is ok with her.
Also don't forget to bring some wellies before you play in the rain.

>>35511425
She might think it's cute desu

Not straight laughter to my face but o saw glimpse of disgust of hooker face when I ask if I can lick her feet.

>>35517487
lol did you ask her to shower first?

>>35517523
>not wanting the natural taste and scent of her feet
what are you a homo?

>>35515868
That's how humans work mate, there's always someone you look down on.

You know how in prisons rapits and pedophiles are always down on the pecking order? It's not because of the high morals of the gentlemen that inhabit the prisons.

I'd love to just pay an escort to worship her feet, I could fuck an average girl for free but I'm way too awkward about my fetishes

>>35511425
She'll likely think your using it as some excuse to get in good with her and get it cheap.

Just be up front and say you aren't trying to take advantage of her or anything, you just want to know. But also be on the look out for being taken advantage of at the same time.

Not only laugh at you but proceed to scam your fucking money by giving subpar service.

>>35512350
>What country?
All of Europe.

>>35516617
> Houston
Man don't fall for the bait.
The police regularly use BP to set up stings here.

>>35518164
can confirm
don't piss them off or they rip you off

Well i have a micropenis and the hooker laughed at me and called me baby in a condescending way
Maybe someone would get off to that but i didnt

>>35518778
you should've demanded to speak to her supervisor

>>35518778
i have an above average size penis and an asian whore laughed and said 'you have very big dick' to me in a condescending way
you can't win either way friend

>>35517126
See >>35517251.
Also don't shave the day before, higher chance of STDs.

>>35511525
They've laughed at me occasionally because I'm shy. One gave me a cigarette to calm my nerves.

>>35512147
US, it's supposed to go in front of the numbers, but I have a bad habit of doing it the other way. Easier to type the numbers then hit shift and $ then the other way for some reason.

100$
$100

I typed the first noticeably faster.

>>35519059
Obviously. You say 100 dollars, not dollars 100, so why wouldn't type it that way?

>>35513313
That's why I visit dominatrixes lol.

Escorts => too expensive to get a good one(young), worried about getting STD's, many don't do GFE(kissing) or reduce their rates enough for multi hour commitments...

Dominatrixes though? hnnng. World class dominatrix is max $400/hour, most even at the world class level are ~$300/hour, and there are some very decent options from $150-200/hour locally where I live. No worries about STD's, they caress you caringly in bondage and then allow you to do the things you feel too self concious to do otherwise, and they usually do reduce their rates for multi hours at a good enough clip.

>>35516467
Take the phone numbers, and make an account at The Erotic Review, or just google the phone numbers. Or look up their P411 accounts.

If they don't have either of those, they're skanks, LE, or ugghhh and I've never gone near that danger.

>>35512669
But his mom is a hooker, anon.

>>35519127
>200$/h
>multiple hours
>dropping a grand or more for an afternoon of mentally ill sex

You are the worst type of normie. If you can afford this than you literally choose to be retarded and miserably every day.

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Why would she laugh at you? Teaching is fun, especially when it's on the subject of sex and foreplay...aside from trial and error the only negative consequence is mild discomfort while the reward is and endless amount of pleasure, for both involved. The chance to mold a lover to your own specific standard and desire is a tempting venture not to mention the fact she is being paid for her time. I honestly applaud your efforts to learn and eagerness to please...aside from some unforseen negative factor, physical appearance or compatibility issues. this sounds intriguing and strays from the usual "chore" of the "work" but that being said she is a woman and understanding her emotional state which ways too heavily on the whole affair is beyond normal comprehensive standards she will probably laugh at you...


Good luck.

>>35519231
Many of them drop to $100 an hour after second or third hour.

I'm not rich, and I do it sparingly, but its a release that for me is better than escorts, due to mental hangups I have around STD's, and false intimacy. With a dom I am paying to be tied up safely, and stewarded on an experience. With a hooker/prostitute/escort, you're paying for a fuckhole, probably diseased, and false intimacy.

>>35511425
men are generally attracted to young pretty women. Women are attracted to power money and strength

>>35519285
Also, I've never spent more than $600(2h)[ or $600(5h)] on a session, and that was like I said, world class LA dom.

I enjoyed spending $500(2h) on a different domme in LA more. Looks/age are definitely less important to dominatrixes, and she wasn't too bad either.

>>35516335
it's legal in Germany

>>35519358
Assholes...don't forget assholes. Also, the unattainable, the gay she feels is perfect and can turn straight, the project guy she thinks can be perfect with some training...the mandingos(hello size queens)...the safe guy, a nice guy who provides a false sense of security who she feels would never betray her trust...the certified good fuck guy, word of mouth is everything and women have the loosest lips ever(bad yet appropriate pun)...the guy who she knows is 100% wrong for her because women gave up on logic ages ago(*winks at ignorant feminazis*)...the metrosexually effeminate male who secretly appeals to the closeted modern woman(gay or bi) before the eventual leap into lesbianism...the guy who is pretty much her father or older men because of lingering daddy issues from an incomplete and abjective childhood...the young lover who fulfills an aging womans desire for youth to replace hers, which is ever fading, also popular for married trophy wives as the wealthy love their toys...etc. etc.

if you don't have pride not to get a hooker

you probably shouldn't put on airs when you pathetically beg her to teach you