What does /r9k/ when the existential thoughts and dreadful loneliness

>>35503856

get loaded.

Originally.

>>35503869
It only helps cloud them, anon. Not make them go away.

Take a bunch of pills and sleep

>>35503940
What pills? Very oregano

>>35503974
Seroquel. Knocks you out.

>>35503856
Start looking at porn and stroking my dick.

Smoke some weed, go for a walk or shitpost on here

>>35503856
Let it seep in until it seeps out

>>35503989
Are you better when you wake up, then?
>>35504028
I can only fap so many times a day
>>35504069
I should try walking more often
>>35504077
It seeps out?

>>35504097
No, every living moment is a nightmare so I usually just take them again when I wake up

>>35504197
So you spend life asleep? Don't you do anything else?

>>35504244
I do that the same. I love dreaming, escaping from everything.

>>35504244
checked
you're qt
what else is there to do?

>>35503856
I listen to some alan watts and do shrooms and deeply realize that I am inseparable from the rest of it all and by necessity eternal.

I don't really like the idea of existing forever in various forms, but it's infinitely better than being stuck in this particular one, for sure. Be grateful for death, OP.

>>35504279
How am I qt?
I dunno, something more stimulating. Listen to music that's the mood you would want to dream about.

>>35504301
Never got a hold of shrooms. Death is necessary, though. How do you think about death on shrooms and not freak the fuck out?

>>35504304
I dunno, I find hope pretty cute. It's everything that I will never be good enough to have.

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>>35503856

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYSrlygyhi4

music

>>35504380
Why don't you have any hope?

>>35504438
Music is always there for you.
Thanks for the mix~

>>35504444
experience? pessimism? wallowing in my eternal river of bullshit and regrets?
it's everything, it's nothing. I've been stuck in the same negative feedback loops since AOL 2.1 what fucking difference could it possibly make?

>>35504369
The only word I can think of to sum it all up when I'm on shrooms is a casual "Alright", as in "if that's how it's gonna be then that's how it's gonna be, I won't even bother trying to comprehend it or swim against the current in order to try and do so". It's the ultimate submission to the incomprehension of existence and it's indescribably releasing. It's like finally breathing out after holding your breath all your life.

I don't know where you live, but if there are any grass fields where animals regularly shit, there's a good chance shrooms grow there.

>>35504510
It doesn't make a difference. Just curious.
>>35504521
I assume you don't let people walk all over you, so where do you draw the line?

Around plenty of those, but how easy/sanitary is it to obtain/use?

I smoke weed and calm down

>>35504627
But it's never a panicking anxiety. It's only ever a slow creeping feeling of dread.
Weed helps, though, as long as my mind is occupied.

>>35503856
Listen to music, watch streams, sit here so i can pretend im talking to people. And im tryna get high rank in this one game so it takes my focus away.

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>>35504589
I don't believe there ever has been anything acceptable or unique about me, or really almost any human being. I think most people who tell others differently are manipulative sociopaths with an agenda. I can't view anyone at any pole but the extremes, generally these days with a heavy fog of disdain and paranoia.
I think that as animals, spiritual beings, mental constructs humanity is filth, born beyond redemption and I hate that I can't bring myself to end my own negligible part in the existence of said because of my stupid sense of self-preservation and my intense fear that I won't get eternal oblivion but different iterations of the same.
What would you hope for with this outlook?

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>>35504589
I don't let people completely walk over me, but I don't try too hard to stop them from doing so either.

Google "psilocybe semilanceata" and find a guide on how to pick them. Lots of good info out there.

>>35504707
Sounds like you have some problems that need to be solved first. In the grand scheme of things, one could argue nobody is truly ever unique, and that everything has been done by someone else before. But if you think people who don't agree with that are 'manipulative sociopaths with an agenda', then there is nothing to hope for, because by your own admission, you're alone and have no purpose, so why not just give up?

You've built a self-fulfilling prophecy.

>>35504831
I absolutely agree, I just have no real impetus to care. Wallowing in my own self pity and getting high until death seems like the path of least resistance which is the one I've always chosen. I have given up, I see no reason to die, death might just be more of the same (maybe in a different form) and if it really is eternal oblivion it won't matter how long I suffered or didn't anyway.

my apathy and low-level misery checks with my internal logic perfectly.

>>35504747
Interesting. You seem like you'd be a good friend. Especially with someone who wouldn't walk over you.

I'll have to look to see if these are actually near where I am.

>>35504904
Now that I fully understand, yeah, I agree as well. It is the past of least resistance. I'm treading down the same road. The only hope I have is for the uncertainty of what comes next. Sometimes you get lucky and something happens that makes you forget things are so bad, at least for a bit.

Drink, or vidya

>>35504906
Give this a listen. It's a good starting point.
https://thepiratebay.org/torrent/11469675/Waking_Up_--_Sam_Harris
then
https://thepiratebay.org/torrent/7154827/Alan_Watts-_Out_of_Your_Mind_(The_Essential_Lectures)

>>35505207
I will. The Alan Watts one seems pretty interesting.

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Know that the afterlife is there. When I get to heaven I will be free from burden and will be happy.

On earth unlike some I have family and their problems and the obligations that come with them. I have bills and government bullshit that helps fund white trash and ghetto culture and feminism that destroys national foundation.

In heaven I have freedom and get to be happy.

It is what I look forward to every day. The only other option for me is to get rich somehow and then I would live basically like a hermit enjoying what I enjoy and I would give my family enough to retire and not worry about them.

There ya go.

I sometime envy the people who have no one else to worry about because they are free to fucking off themselves.