>30 year old former neet >just got a job >was a neet

>>35484189

Clean yourself up, be chill, have a casual conversation with at least one person and when someone chats you up try to keep it going. Order whatever you want.

Order any cut of steak, medium rare. Don't talk if you can avoid it. Speak only if spoken to, and keep your responses short, vague, and boring. This will reduce the risk of people continuing to talk at you.

>>35484189
what tricks can you do?

>>35484331
we have a choice between the porterhouse and sirloin and ribeye have no clue what to get. I also like mine with a lot of a1 can I ask for that while they cook it?

>>35484359
I used to read up a lot of magic as a kid and did basic magician shit. Sounds autist but me and a kid in the neighborhood would do magic shows on the corner near the traffic heavy part of our street

>>35484367
It really doesn't matter which cut you choose, but personally I would go for the porterhouse. Don't ask for sauce if it isn't already on the table, making special requests will bring more attention to yourself.

>>35484447
I was thinking of showing up early and getting a round of shots at the bar set up when they walk in so the girls will think I have money and style.

>>35484367
I don't think the type of steak would matter. Just remember it needs to be medium rare or under or everybody will think you're a pussy. As the other anon said, keep responses short and make the other person unable to continue the conversation. There will likely be a bit of an awkward moment because they will be trying to think of things to say, but you can just continue eating and there will be no awkward moment

>>35484189
>do some tricks
Are you a fucking dog? Tell ONE joke if the moment's right.

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>>35484398
bring your magic gear it will be a hit, you might get a gf

>>35484398
No, play it safe. Just laugh at other people's stories and say shit like "haha that's crazy" and "nice, man" and you're golden.

>>35484525
probably doesnt fit and its somewhere in the attic.

>>35484331
Oh damn I didnt know doing
>Speak only if spoken to, and keep your responses short, vague, and boring.

would reduce in

>This will reduce the risk of people continuing to talk at you.

That explains my whole life lol

>>35484477
Don't do this, please. Don't try to impress anyone

>>35484189
as them why they are forcing you

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>>35484556
I knew and I did it anyway.

>>35484608
they think it will help me socially, and they said it would come off rude if i dont attend.

>>35484477
>think I have money
You just started a shitty retail job. Everyone knows that you have no money

>>35484477
No one would be impressed by that, and you shouldn't be trying to impress people. Just keep a low profile.

>30 y.o.
>Having a work dinner with teen co-workers

Why?

>>35484189
do not go, you will just waste your time on bullshit and humilate yourself.

>>35484189
Only talk if something comes up that you have an opinion on or if they ask you something directly. Laugh when other people laugh and don't talk about autistic shit

>>35484626
Great so everybody but me knows. Fuck this gay earff

>>35484653
because its shitty retail and they think its giving back to employees for good store performance

>>35484653
workplace morale. Gotta keep them goy wagies happy

>>35484632
tell them that this will not help you in any meaningfull way

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>>35484549
bring some playing cards or coins or napkins or whatever. get up in the middle of dinner and call attention to yourself, then do a couple insane tricks. your coworkers will worship you

>>35484698
They wont listen and I cant complain too much I only work 2 days a week and have all my bills paid for me

>>35484189
if you came, they will force you into more normalfag shit

>>35484720

stop being such a cuck and just go. Try to be nice when spoken and clean yourself up before going to. It's okay to be nervous, just see it as a way to get free food.

>>35484189
>30 year old
>parents are forcing me to go

I can understand them making you get a job or gtfo, but they can't force you to go to social functions.

if you really don't want to go, then just pretend to go and come back a couple hours later.

>>35484754
Could I just put some games on my phone and play on that and try not to get noticed and just exist? I wanted to bring a 3ds but know that wouldnt fly

>>35484189
jesus christ take control of your life ffs

>>35484783
It would probably look bad.

I can go ahead and tell you every social function that those minimum wage cuck jobs do nobody ever shows up. If you are really being forced to leave the house just go do anything else. Like look for an apartment to move into because your parents sound like assholes.

>>35484923
they are nice and pay for everything without me ever having to, and i was a neet for 7 years and they were ok with it, even now i only work 2 days a week

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>>35484783
>bingbing, 1UP, WAHOO!

Did you even read the fucking Quentin comics???

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>>35484189
>tfw 31 years young and NEET for 3 years now

good to know I'm not the only one senpai

>>35485085
Yea its not so bad is it lol

>>35484957

do you have a car? or access to a car?

just drive to walmart and sit in the parking lot. browse 4chan for a couple hours then come home.

>>35485105
I share a car with my mom.

>>35485133

okay so she'll let you drive to this dinner thing, right?

>>35485183
yes, but she will know if I didnt attend, because she knows someone who works there. and thats how i got the job with that huge gap in employment.

another one of those "4chan what do I do in ____ situation!?" threads where OP has an excuse for every single piece of advice and ignores all any kind of logical solution to his problem.

>anyone else getting tired of this shit?

>>35484754
fuck off normalfag.
not original as fuck as you can

>>35485209

Okay, just say "no, i'm not going"

just fucking be a man and say it. When I was living with my parents at age 25, they tried to get me to go to all kinds of shit because I "don't get out enough" and they would pressure the fuck out of me, but if I really didn't want to do something, I at least had the balls to say no. You're a grown man, so act like it.

>>35485251
a logical solution is NOT to go

>>35485309
but if they get pissed enough and i get kicked out i will have nothing, i have a pretty comfy life here

>>35484690
>workplace morale. Gotta keep them goy wagies happy
Yeah keep their morale high for that $9/h pay

>>35485327

no duh.

that's what I'm saying.

>>35485309
>anon you will go to this dinner or I'm taking away your PC until you get a gf

tricks what are going do? flips? magic tricks? card tricks? tarot card reading? are you even reading what you are writing,, if you are here and been neet for 7years you most likely have no talent. but sayin that your co hoards are most likely talantless as well. just turn up on time, drink in moderation order a food you comfortable with and be yourself, and by yourself i mean a person who has some pride in them selves and has some sort of empathy.

>>35485402
yea like card tricks, basic magician shit.

>>35484331
This guy knows what's up. 99.9% of the shit that comes out of normies mouths is uninteresting bullshit you don't want to hear about. When they're talking at you you have to listen so you can grunt at the correct time so they're essentially holding your mind hostage so they can insert their grubby little minds into yours. You should attempt to minimize the amount of this you have to endure.

>>35485209

Your parents are dicks if they kick you out over this.

come on man.

>>35485496
That is true they probably wouldn't but it would cause a few shitty days in the house of tension

Dress normal as fuck don't go looking like a retard. Shower, brush your teeth, wash your hair. Basic shit. Now, when you get there, say hi to the people YOU KNOW. Even if you talk to none of them, talk to the people you work closest too, but make sure to greet yourself to others. When you are about to sit, strategically make sure to reach the first corner seat, and someone will sit next to you which will make a group sit in that same area, those who sit by you, talk to them. Don't be that guy who talks far across the table either based on your personality it won't work. Now when you order your food just be quiet and focus on the menu, don't talk till your done looking at it unless someone says something to you first. Order your food, and when food arrives eat with basic manners and don't be a fast eater take your time. And while all this is going just go with the flow with whatever conversation arises, it's real easy when you're in a group believe me. Try not to be the guy who tells the awkward shitty jokes either, be NORMAL. Whatever comes out your mouth make sure your CONSCIOUS AS FUCK ABOUT IT. The man who does this best is the one who usually gets women's attention, I'm assuming you're straight, you do this well, your co workers and especially the female workers will appreciate you. DONT ACT LIKE A RETARD.

>>35485562
I dont have the best clothes basic neet shit, i was actually just going to wear my work uniform. a pair of dickies and the company "polo"

>>35485607
WORST FUCKING IDEA LMAO DONT WEAR YOUR GOD DAMN WORK UNIFORM. Wear a solid hoodie and some jeans or khaki pants. You don't have to wear something fancy like a collared shirt, as long as it looks normal to wear out in public, it's okay. But not your fucking work uniform lol.

>>35485677
Well I take that back, unless it was after work and everybody else was doing that, it would be okay at that point.

>>35485677
I only have one hoodie right now its a band hoodie though can I wear that?

>>35485724
I would go out and buy a solid jacket, Nike solid jackets are nice and comfortable. And wear those with blue jeans or khaki pants. Make sure the pants fit right too don't go in some baggy shit or pants that are too tight.

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>>35484189
Your parents don't actually care whether or not you go to this particular dinner. They want to see you making some kind of effort to become a normalfag, so you need to offer them something of this nature.

Here's what you do: tell your parents you can't go. When they ask way, say "I have a date" and look away to hide your embarassment. When they press further, tell them you met her online and you need the car for the night because you told your date you'd pick her up.

Your parents will believe this because they're desperate to see you become a normie, and they will credit themselves for getting you the job that flung the doors open to your brand new normie life.

>t. 8-year NEET

>>35485789
>wearing sports gear to dinner
Whose the bigger autist? You or the OP?

>>35484189
Pretend to go
Go to the movies or a cheaper eatery alone instead

>>35485802
my parents think im a faggot, im not but they assume I am. even though I have been with a girl and lost my virginity i never brought one home even in hs and im 30 now

>>35484189

1) Be Quiet.

2) Think before you open your mouth.

3) Wash and clean yourself. Get rid of odors.

4) Wear a pair of blue jeans and a white buttoned thin-blue-lined shirt. Do not wear trench coats or anything similar like a colourful scarf or paint your nails.

5) Do not talk about your hobbies if they are not the norm.

6) Take an interest in their hobbies (pretend, lie).

7) Do not tell them you live with your parents, avoid the question, if someone asks they will be asking because you fucked up the above 6 requirements.

Good luck dude!

>>35485562
Reference this as your tactics on the night.

CONSCIOUS AS FUCK ABOUT IT this is your maxim for those 4 hours.

thanks to everyone for advice i will consider it all

>>35485853
not "accidentally" leaving your browser open to vanilla heterosexual porn on occasion.
just kys, you didn't deserve to be a neet anyway.

>>35486360
what are u the neet authority now? fuck u

>>35484720
If your parents were always this controlling, it's no wonder you turned out the way you did

>>35484763
yeah exactly

>>35486558
but they also pay for everything

Every option is wrong, Anon. You know how "bee yourself" is a meme here? The truth is that no matter what you do, these people, these 'co-workers' are going to reject you. So you may as well go without any expectations, except of course, the one where no matter what you do you'll be rejected.

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>>35486643
im glad someone finally posted this.
OP, you're a fucking 30 year old neet sperg.
your coworkers are all probably young 20 something normies with silver platters
the point being, you are never and will never fit in with this group. They will never like you or accept you or even want to be around you; not even because of the age difference, but because you're a robot and they're normies. You two are fundamentally different from each other.

>>35486732
so should I just do what I want then?

>>35486732
This is an underlying assumption which carries one potential truth. But it is not the end all and conclusion for not making some kind of effort to not be "singled-out".

>>35487037
You will never fit in with this group, but you should be able to at least collaborate with that group.

Why wouldn't they want to be around you?
Age - true consideration
Fundamentals - no sexual or recreational fun can be derived from you - a minor consideration.

You and I both know the above are things which will stop you, truly, being apart of the group. But your not looking for acceptance, your only looking not to be singled out. You can exist on the fringes of the group but not be apart of it this is all I'm saying. The peasants lived in the grounds of the palace, while the peasants never really wanted the king to come to dinner because the king was too high maintenance etc etc etc.

Also, i really really really doubt the cohesiveness of this "group". Watch them tonight, you'll notice they all have their own weaknesses.

>>35487491
its not the age thing a lot are anywhere from 25 and older, some younger thrown in the mix. its more of they have nothing in common more then age.

>Outback Steakhouse
That place is fucking shit. Some Australian probably made that restaurant just to shitpost IRL. Maybe it's just my place near me that is always shitty.

>>35487575
its true Australian cuisine though