>30 year old former neet >just got a job >was a neet

>>35478265
You'll scream artistically when they don't laugh at your joke

>>35479046
Fuck autistically

>>35478265
Order a steak, have friendly conversation with coworkers, don't try to be funny or show off you'll just fuck it up like the autist you are.

go, order whatever, be dead silent the entire time unless someone asks you something, leave as soon as possible. that's how I do it.

>>35478265
>work now
>not doing whatever you want
Don't go retard. What the fuck.

>>35478265
Can't you just pretend to be normal, sperggie? Don't try to tell jokes... let alone doing tricks. Really. Just don't.

>go there
>eat
>try to engage in a conversation if the opportunity presents itself
>go back home.

You got this.

Practice some Tech Deck Fingerboard tricks and show your coworkers how to ollie and kickflip on the restaurant table.

Honest advice, op, don't say much about yourself, and just keep asking questions.

This is the key for robots like me who can't hold a conversation and have nothing to really talk about or add to the discussion.

Just ask the normies questions, they'll gladly tell you all about their worthless uninteresting lives.

File: bane 4u.jpg (39KB, 960x535px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 960x535px

>>35479065
I think artistic screaming would be pretty entertaining desu.

File: 612x.jpg (41KB, 512x379px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 512x379px

>>35478265
>I'm 30 and my parents are forcing me to go to my work's dinner

>>35478265

Sit next to the least offensive person you can see, talk about menu items, tell them what you think you might order, ask them what they're looking at, order a maximum of 2 beers or other alcoholic beverages of choice but no more, drink them slowly, always order water on the side, talk about TV shows that everyone watches (brooklyn 99, GoT, breaking bad, etc) don't try to talk about music because chances are your tastes are too obscure, movies are okay, I'm guessing you might be into marvel movies, stick to common taste movies, be the second to third person to leave that night, go home, rejoice at the fact you managed to hide your powerlevel.

>>35478265

Let other people talk about themselves and pretend to be interested, or, ideally, actually be interested. Don't say nothing about yourself, but don't say much either. Bam, everybody likes you.

Just order a steak, eat it, listen to other people, don't look like Asperger King and speak ONLY when asked, but think twice about things you say.

DO NOT tell jokes (too risky, might be inappropriate and/or unfunnny for others) and for the love of god, DO NOT do any tricks

The probable topic you're gonna have to talk about are hobbies. Movies are safest bet, you can either go with classics like Godfather or LotR (howewer kinos like Apocalypse Now or Taxi Driver might be a bit over their head, so you should play it safe for the time being) or flavour of the month capeshit and stuff "internet" like, both fine. Just don't go full retard and start rating Werner Herzog's films from most to least patrician and you'll be fine and you might even make a friend. Music is fine too, pick something between top 40 and /mu/'s entry level hipster chart, Radiohead is fine. DO NOT talk about videogames or anything japanese in general. If you have any actual interesting hobby, you can talk about it, BUT as I said, think twice about what you say, since your colleagues are most probably 100% normies. So, do you write? Great! Do you write Harry PotterX50 Shades crossover fanfic? Yeah, not so great. Do you write mango and yaoi doujins? Just shut up you sick fuck.

Also, for any personal questions, don't show your whole powerlevel, for questions like "do you live with your parents", say "yeah, for now before I save up for some nice apartment", or for the obvious "are you married, of do you have girlfriend?", don't say "I'm wizard you pathetic mortal worm", but rather "not at the moment, no" or "I've been is some relationships, but nothing serious yet"

I hate this shit when strangers ask about the most mundane shit, I work in office for almost 3 years and everybody thinks I'm their friend and they know me well, while I feed them lies just to shut them up, since they're shallow retards, but hey, I gotta work with them

>>35479163
My parents are making me attend.

>>35479539
Good call on the music part, my tastes are probably different then what they listen to.