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I honestly, really like girls. I have been in love with two. I fap to girls, they turn me on, I wish I could have sex. But, aside from girls, I also liked a guy at school. He was very beautiful, tall, had blue eyes and dark hair. I thought to myself, If he kissed me, I wouldn't mind. Or hug me or cuddle. But I didn't want anything sexual, like to suck his dick or him sucking my dick. Especially not anything to do with gay fucking, I find anal disgusting.
So what the fuck was that? To this day, I don't understand. I tried watching gay porn. It does nothing for me. I haven't been attracted to any men since. Just that one guy. Would I go full gay for him? No. But, if he really wanted it, I guess we could jerk each other off.
My god, while remembering those feelings and typing this I just realized I'm definitely not 100% straight. But I don't feel gay or bisexual either, it's way more complicated. What is this?
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>>35469042
no worries anon
I sucked 5 dicks before I realized that i'm straight
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>>35469042
you mind was trying to hint that you should give up on women cause even it knows you arent getting any
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>>35469054
But I don't want to suck dicks!
Or get fucked in the ass.
I just wanted to kiss him, hug him, cuddle with him. I just don't know anymore.
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>>35469152
you should try sucking one it's unironically really fun
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>>35469042
>obligatory joke answer
Haha you're totally gay dude
>real answer
You liked him romantically. You probably clicked on a level you never had before, but aren't gay.
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>>35469042
Homoerotic love is arguably more pure since it doesn't stem from instincts telling you to mate for the sake of mating, and not out of love
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>>35469254
>You probably clicked on a level you never had before, but aren't gay.
Sadly no.
I didn't know him as a person.
It was all physical attraction.
I guess I'm part faggot, at least a bit.
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>>35469288
The ideas of sexuality are a spook. Libido is real, but when you're being told on where you should focus this is where it begins to be a social construct. I do not think you should be ashamed of that.
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>>35469312
people can lie about their sexuality or even lack self awareness or repress their sexuality
to call people gay or straight is just a useful abstraction to describe what people are willing to admit about their sexuality or what you have observed from them
it's not a scientific concrete concept but it's better than nothing
calling it a spook and a social construct is kind of melodramatic don't you think?
modern language is mostly like this to be honest
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>>35469152
That's kinda just how burgeoning sexuality starts.
It's not like your love of girls started with eating pussy right away either.
Everyone starts just wanting to cuddle.
Then they explore more and enjoy themselves.
Not saying you have to, by any means, just saying that this is why your having this weird disconnect between wanting to snuggle a guy but not fuck him - because the feelings are new.
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