>age 9 me and mom going to her friends house >mom lets

should i just not care?
im so used to ignoring the fact that this happened that it seems like some normie ass problem.

File: IMG_0883.gif (1MB, 680x680px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 680x680px

Photo with time stamps.

>>35368178
It's not your fault that it happened. Tell your mother, even if she blames herself nothing will get better unless you talk about it and make sure the people that did it to you get punished.

File: 1488527569601.jpg (55KB, 400x399px) Image search: [Google]

55KB, 400x399px

>>35368178
Honestly op sounds like your kind of a mans man so I would suggest to just bottle that shit up and throw it in the ocean never to be seen or talked about.
Just live with it, you seem aware enough to know it wasnt by your own accord so there you have it.
Dont be another victim just learn to live with it and get on with your life.
No need to let this shit drag you down all your life, that aint livin.

Neways just
> fuk it man

Dude, you sucked a dick, big shit. Deal with it.

>>35368450
Tht what im saying

>>35368554
Do you want them to pay for what they did to you?

>>35368409
i want to.
i know she knows something went wrong somewhere and she has asked about abuse as a child before.

>>35368426
p much spent the past 11 years thinking like this to be honest. feels like shit is only getting worse.

>>35368450
>>35368554
>the abuse worsens and continues until im 15
implying i want to explain how he fucked me with his girthy uncut 5 inch chode of a dick. mmm.

File: 1427709083323.jpg (78KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

78KB, 500x500px

>>35368178
>oldest son calls me into bathroom and forces me to suck him
>still remember the taste. the feeling
HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG
WHY COULDNT THIS HAVE HAPPEND TO ME GOD FUCKING DAMNIT

>>35368178
Are you a guy or a roastie

>>35368835
This. If you're a guy, that sucks but you're gay now so hey.
If you're a roastie then stop whining bitch, you enjoyed it. You only think you didn't because you don't want to admit to yourself that you're a whore.

>>35368788
honestly one of the main things keeping me from having a relationship with a guy. feel like i would get Vietnam flashbacks and try cutting someone if it became sexual.

>>35368178
Oh shut up you fucking fag. You sucked a dick, who cares. Do you want them to each give you $10 or something? Probably wasn't even worth that

>>35368888
>it's a roastie
fuck off to reddit no one here cares, what's a two more dicks to the dozens you'll suck in your lifetime

Ever stop and think your mom should blame herself for not having had a child with a man with whom she's married after being with him enough to know he's a stable, godly, loving man who will work hard and support her while she's taking care of the kids and thus wouldn't have had to toss you to the wolves in day care?

Gee. It almost seems like following the Bible will prevent a lot of this kind of stuff.

Your mom should feel bad.

>>35368925
>>35368872
>>35368835

im guy famm

File: 1459183501065.jpg (45KB, 630x473px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 630x473px

>>35368906
careful with that edge boy

comment is original

>>35368426
Me

>>35368644
I can only imagine honestly.
Like you said what are you guna d.. bring it out to light, make your mum feel bad for the rest of her life, goin through the memory of the events that occurred for court purposes. Retelling the tail over and over.

I say just me here a southern mayn.
Find the butt fuggin molester confront him and beat the shit outa him.
there ya go some good ol home grown street justice.
Theres no answers that you need the why and the becuase are already known.
Like i said if your more of a emotional creature then by all means talk it out.

But if you been raised with that tough love I say you live with it and tough it, its an experience bad or good but it made you who you are today.

>>35368974
>sucking a dick turned him gay
Kek did you at least become a trap

>>35368178

You've told someone now, that's good. I'm glad honest

Take your time. It may be hard to tell others, and each new person or group you tell will be a new struggle but trust that you will grow a little from each experience.

I'm not implying or assuming you're suicidal, but I would call a suicide hotline simply because they have practice listening without judging and it can also be anonymous if you chose to. When you're ready, please tell someone else, anyone.

There's beauty in vulnerability. I'm sorry you went through this.

>>35368974
Tell your mom, she'd feel worse if you kept it hidden from her to protect her. She honestly probably blames herself for bad parenting when she shes you have whatever problems you have, that's why she asked if you were abused. She knows something happened.

>>35368971

dad was murdered via false identity around the age of three
>bible
fucking gross REEEEEE

>>35369005
i know what you mean man. i feel you anon. i feel you.

>>35369069
>>35369071
yeah... i feel like explaining what happened to the ones that matter will make them understand why im such an autistic idiot.

>mfw I realize my neurological condition of memory loss saved me from remembering anything bad from my childhood.

>>35368178
See a therapist if you can. They'll be nonjudgmental and confidential, and can coach you in opening up about it to others.

ayy lmao

>>35368178
How old are you now? If I were you I would consider some kind of therapy. It doesn't have to be crazy expensive or anything and you don't neccesarily have to go at a regular interval but having someone to talk to is vital and the anonymity might help you. You may be able to work down the price a bit by saying you can't afford it. Talking to a regular physician can get you the kind of therapy that fits your needs and price range as well. If you're still underage or need financial help I would talk to your mother as hard as it will be. Just know that if she knew she would have stopped it but the initial trauma is over and now the healing can begin.

OP if it makes you feel any better I was butt ravaged by my cousin when I was like a 7 years old boy and here I am 18 years later realizing that I have trust issues and still can't find a way to stop passing out or throwing up whenever I have sex.

Even handjobs make me nauseous desu.

>>35369212
The OP is atleast 26
>stopped at 15
>suppressed memories for 11 years

File: Hahahahahahaha.jpg (33KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

33KB, 400x400px

>>35369219
>>35368178
This stuff is pretty hot to think about keep up the OC

File: 1488442531956.png (498KB, 1280x853px)

498KB, 1280x853px

>>35369005
Me
>>35369103
Be strong anon chan

" you will not believe what you can achieve when you push and fight back"

>tfw don't remember almost anything memory that isn't practiced stuff from before a few hours
Getting a concussion was the best thing that happened to me

>>35369206
>>35369212
26
ive tried on multiple occasions because its the normal thing to do.. its excruciatingly stressful and hard to put words together in that situation (as if im not already socially inept)

>>35369353
Go to therapy like I did.
Of course it's different for everyone but hey, there's nothing wrong with trying.

>>35369353
Can you green the experience in as much detail as you can rember from him makeing you suck him?
Come on OP I need this

>>35369200
>>35369219

Something about you two makes me feel this is a very sincere
>what fucked you up?
thread

I know mine isn't as traumatic, but I used to live near a sewage canal. "developing" country, have since immigrated Upstream drug traffickers(?) and gangs would dump bodies into it. It wasn't uncommon to see unmarked government vehicles near one of the bottlenecks, recovering a body.

I saw quite a few bodies floating through that canal, but the one I remember most vividly is a girl that got caught on some garbage near the edge. She was there for two days, her face pale and gray surprisingly clean for a body that was floating in sewage.

First I saw her I was startled, and ran away. I had a hard time sleeping that night, went to see if her body was still there the next day. It was. It was later that evening I would tell my aunt, who would tell the neighbors that called to have it removed.

To this day I still have nightmares and trouble sleeping. White women with pale faces and no blemishes creep me out. I think it's also led to a hero complex and a soft spot for crying women and girls. R9K's misogyny really rustles my jimmies sometimes.

Thanks for reading. Fortunately, this isn't my first time telling anyone, but I do feel understood. Even if just for a minute

>>35369496
>not fucking the body
You had a good opportunity for something great and you trashed it

>>35368178
Tell your mom if you have the guts for it, but either way get a psychiatrists and till him/her. Have your mom help you if you don't know how to get ahold of one, even if you don't tell her what happened.

I doubt telling /r9k/ is enough of an outlet for that kind of thing, can't go in depth enough and won't be any real long term help.

File: 1487432333962.jpg (27KB, 397x360px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 397x360px

>>35369557
Thats my r9k

>dont you ever change on me you dogg ;)

>>35369200
sounds like a gift and a curse.

>>35369219
ive severely suppressed the memory of him fucking me. to the point where most of it seems like a blur. aside form a few things that really stick out and i know would trigger the shit out of me if i put myself in that situation.

>>35368178
hey, I am sorry and I understand. you want to tell somebody, but you also feel like it will be the end of the world? you maybe feel like if you don't tell anybody, then it will magically have not happened? you'll start telling people and it will just feel worse and you'll regret it? I completely understand. I am so, so sorry. I really wish you the best.

in my experience, therapy doesn't help. also, I would straight up recommend NOT going to a suicide or crisis hotline. I've tried and they're mostly about talking people down from the ledge. even if you wish you were dead every waking second, all they'll do is recommend someone to call and try to get you off the line asap. I understand, but eh. it's still disappointing. it's like nothing will ever help.

File: 1481327214752.jpg (11KB, 326x315px)

11KB, 326x315px

>>35369655
>still hasn't said whether he's a trap or not

>>35369655
Do you have nice boipussy?

>>35369400
can you explain exactly what you did in therapy that helped? it felt exactly like throwing my money away

>>35369557

I was around five, asshole thanks for reminding me this was 4chan, faggot

It was close enough to be clearly visible but too deep in to be pulled out without help. Only her head and a part of her shoulder was above water. She really was beautiful, if eerie.

I do get off to necrophilia now though, but only translated manga (Not weeb enough to know the term for it) and involving grown women.

>>35369655
Eh, it's kind of the same for me.
Trying to remember everything in full detail just doesn't work.
Therapy and drinking didn't help either.
Either way it's better to know what happened to help get over it.

>>35368178
only path to redemption is through killing him.

>>35368255
just file report to popos

>>35369655
Can you put your fingers in your mouth and tell me how it feels please op i need this
>>35369718
>not fucking the face
You disappointment

>>35369705
Just realizing that I didn't have to hide behind layers of bullshit anymore helped.
It didn't really matter too much because I forced myself to stop being so mad about it. It kinda helped that I went through some other stressful shit that didn't even compare to all that guilt and self-loathing that occurred through puberty.

That and I found other hobbies to distract myself with so I didn't dwell on the past as often. Also I only went to like 2 sessions and didn't get anti-depressants because I'm not so torn up about it...

>>35369789
Op can you suck your own dick? Have you ever tried?

File: 1399774438237.jpg (19KB, 255x223px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 255x223px

>>35369831
I'm not OP, and I'm not flexible enough to do that.
Besides, I'd rather dickslap you instead.

>>35369789
thanks for replying. followup questions: how do you not have to hide behind layers of bullshit? do you mean you feel free to talk about it with other people? how did you force yourself to stop being mad? I am mad and humiliated constantly. thank you thank you.

>>35369669
im not sure. a little bit of all of that and feeling like i owe the ones i care about an explanation on why ive always been an introvert, depressed, etc.

and yeah ive gone to multiple and it just never seems to work out for reasons ive said in previous posts.

>>35369776
>>35369778
if. only.

>>35369856
>implying i don't want my dick slapped by op while he has rape ptsd

File: 1478749647132.jpg (86KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

86KB, 600x600px

>>35369856
>tfw no qt bf to dickslap and degrade me while I suck his dick

>>35369870
Op the only reasonable thing to do is ambush the guy and take his butthole virginity to show your dominance and become the alpha beta

>>35369789
thats cool that it helped you.

one of the main things keeping me from not losing it is probably my hobbies and becoming overly infatuated with them.

>>35369831
nah lul

>>35368178
>>wake up today realizing a lot of my problems stem from this and i need to tell someone.
you mean you woke up and realized you have something convenient to pin all your shortcomings on. i know that feeling, pham, probably everyone does it to an extent

>>35369870
oh man. exactly, exactly. I started telling family members because I felt like I owed them an explanation for why I was such a failure and a weirdo, and then I ended up feeling like I made things worse every time and just burdened them with shit for no reason and didn't clarify anything anyway. fuck

>>35369869
>How do you not hide behind layers of bullshit
After taking years to get over it, I forced myself to look at it from another point of view which helped soften the blow. From there it's realizing there's other things to define you.

I make jokes about it from time to time. That and only a handful of family members and friends know. I gotta stop drinking around them, honestly...

I forced myself to stop being mad by confronting my cousin (that buttfucked me) about it. From there it was realizing that I didn't need to let something like that ruin my life. Sure I mean family conversations get awkward sometimes but it's not like they use it against me for leverage.

I was mad about it for a long, long time. I was a very, very angry child and only recently figured out why. To this day I still have anger issues but I've learned to conceal it extremely well. But I got to ruin my cousin's life in the process, so I say it worked out evenly.

>>35370025
Can I butt fuck you and rp as your cousin?

>>35370025
I see. thanks for sharing. I'm so fucking glad you got to destroy your cousin's life.

>>35369976
not sure if bait

>>35369990
yes.. yesss..... yessssssssssssss.

>>35370025
i wish that there was some sort of sweet revenge, but its highly unlikely and probably unhealthy lul

>>35370115
>I wish there was some sort of sweet revenge
Faggot I told you already >>35369940

>>35370058
Sure, you can RP as a homeless bum that's a highschool drop out.
>>35370108
I wouldn't say destroyed. But I was able to "inadvertently" spread rumors about him as a result. It caused him to start backpeddaling and try to take me to court for blackmail.
The sick part is he tried to initiate it years later when I was just starting to piece everything together, but not old enough to call him out on his shit.

>>35370175
>highschool dropout
Check
>bum
Neet
I want that boipussy anon

>>35370115
Sadly, there wasn't.
When I attempted to explain what happened, it was met with "Uh, are you sure?" "He wouldn't do that, he's your cousin for fuck's sake" and "Uh okay, yeah but I still love [Cousin], you need to get over it :^)"

It wasn't until a year or so later that I saw the guilt catch up to him after I confronted him about it. That alone was enough for me. I was able to give him just a taste of the guilt and self-loathing I experienced for roughly 10 years.

And now he's literally homeless after he burned through his inheritance on drugs and hookers, totaled a car, and got in a fuck ton of debt.

>thread is still getting replies and he hasn't even posted boipussy
Stop giving attention whores attention

>>35370148
shietttt. its on my bucket list.

>>35370175
>>35370241
destroyed or not. that sounds very satisfying, anon.

>>35370241
>feeling bad
Your cousin is a dumbass

>>35370219
We're not quite there yet.
Are you a barely functioning alcoholic that can't hold a job?
And even then it's not like I remember everything in vivid detail, I repressed this shit for roughly eight years, and it happened 18 years ago, roughly speaking

File: dsknefwu389feelsbadman.jpg (56KB, 300x360px) Image search: [Google]

56KB, 300x360px

>>35368178
>still remember the taste.
Hits too close to home, fuck man.

>>35370241
sorry you couldn't torture him to death but I'm glad you got to see him suffer. living the dream for the rest of us.

I can't even imagine what it's like to have a relative involved. all the added complexity.

>>35370256
You can hide the thread if you're so asshurt about it, anon.
>>35370268
Yeah, it is pretty nice.
>>35370285
Yup, dude's a total freak too. He used to start fires and apparently raped some little girl at a school. It was supposedly some huge scandal they kept under wraps. His rich as fuck father was able to bribe the parents though.

Fucker literally got everything handed to him in life, and now it's all gone. Apparently he's trying to get back to school or so I've heard.

>>35370295
>hold a job
No
>acholocic
Yes
>barley functioning
Depends on what you consider functioning

>>35370304
not OP but I'm sorry man

>>35370348
>Fucker literally got everything handed to him in life, and now it's all gone.
owns

>>35370348
And you can fuck off to reddit if you want attention now post boipussy or get out.

>>35370348
>you will never rape a little girl and get away with it
This is not a feel I want to feel

>>35370337
Shit's gotten real awkward real fast.

I've had to explicitly state that I don't want him around whenever I visit. I've banned him from birthday parties and dinners I go to. Whenever I even catch wind of him trying to drop in and ruin my plans, I cancel them entirely. He's just not worth my time or the hair on my balls for that matter.

I've only told a select few of my family, however. They're all surprised that I'm not an alcoholic, given everything that happened. I mean the childhood shit was pretty bad but I got a lot of respect for handling it so well amongst other things.

>>35370423
Show us your boy pussy Anon

>>35370386
I don't remember asking (You) for your opinion.
I'm just answering questions and explaining my side of things.
Once again. Hide the thread.
>>35370413
If you say so.
And by scandal I mean like, the parents were getting ready to go public with that shit, and get him registered as a sex offender even though he was like 14 years old or so at the time.

Pretty sure he raped a 6 year old girl. I haven't dug up enough dirt to get the full details.

>>35370481
>Once again. Hide the thread.
Once again reddit or boipussy

>>35370304
Describe the taste was it musky?

File: 1449613614450.jpg (37KB, 600x360px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 600x360px

>>35370478
But this is a Christian imageboard, Anon.
For you.

>>35370481
>6 years old
Your cousin has good taste in little girls anon

>>35370481

Which state was this in?

>parents were getting ready to go public with that shit, and get him registered as a sex offender even though he was like 14 years old or so at the time.

Sounds familiar

>>35370555
>actually liking loli
That's some shit taste, my friend.

MILFS > Children

>>35370520
>tfw rape victim won't show me their boy pussy
Sad times we live in

>>35370588
>implying he's even a victim and not just and erping attention whore

>>35370587
Jokes on you faggot i like both
>>35370603
Very true

File: 1487574237876.png (98KB, 600x500px) Image search: [Google]

98KB, 600x500px

>>35370588
Anon, I mean, if you're so hellbent on looking at assholes, you can check out >>>/hm/ or >>>/soc/

>>35370612
I need assholes of rape victims for examination you are the perfect specimen

File: 1435771887296.jpg (45KB, 545x511px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 545x511px

>>35370588
>>35370603
>1 minute appart
>Poster count hasn't gone up

That's not suspicious at all.

>>35370610
Sure doesn't sound like it.
It's okay to be in denial.

>>35370612
They're not attentionwhoring like you are though

File: 1452149825607.jpg (27KB, 465x364px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 465x364px

>>35370636
Well when you're done baiting for replies or being uniroinically edgy, I'll consider it. Not everyone on /r9k/ is a jaded asshole, you know. Go ahead and call me a "normie" I don't give a fuck.

>>35370657
>57:52
>58:44
Less than a minute you've got an audience now so post it faggot

>>35370657
>samefag
Second time I have been called this today second time they are wrong
>in denial
Belive it or not the only age i can't get off to is elderly

File: 1400436062673.jpg (11KB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 250x250px

>>35370660
I'm not the one wasting my time trying to look at buttholes on 4chan.

Sounds kinda pathetic if you ask me.

>>35370690
I don't want to call you a normie I want pics of your boipussy please

>>35370725
>I'm not the one wasting my time trying to look at buttholes on 4chan.
You're wasting you're time erping instead

File: vlcsnap-2014-03-18-12h15m40s162.png (549KB, 1286x536px) Image search: [Google]

549KB, 1286x536px

OP here.
not used to sharing shit like this on the internet or at all to be honest.
i really didn't expect to get so many replies.

i sincerely appreciate the replies, advice, positivity, bait, and sharing of similar stories.
i will tell my mother and try my best to figure it out from there.

really.. thank you.

File: PicsArt_03-08-01.02.06.jpg (121KB, 1080x697px) Image search: [Google]

121KB, 1080x697px

>>35370725
>not looking at buttholes on 4chan
What are you a faggot?

File: 1407894329980.jpg (57KB, 740x740px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 740x740px

>>35370715
I never said anything about samefagging, Anon.
You're just jumping to conclusions now.

I don't have the time or energy to deal with that level of mental gymnastics now. I got more important things to worry about. Your bait could use a little work. It's not believable enough.

>>35370745
Can we have a pic of your mouth for a reward?

File: PicsArt_03-08-01.08.55.jpg (42KB, 598x349px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 598x349px

>>35370781
>I never saied anything about samefaggin
Did taking that dick up your ass cause memory loss?

File: 1424638475028.jpg (71KB, 640x654px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 640x654px

>>35370815
You get a 3/10 for effort.

Who knows, maybe if you tried a little harder you wouldn't have to spend all your time here.

>>35370745
I hope you can find a way to feel better someday. good luck with the discussion.

File: 1457244004554.png (307KB, 437x418px)

307KB, 437x418px

>>35370815
Holy fuck you sound more asshurt than the guy that was raped as a kid.

File: 1487825367408.jpg (137KB, 1012x872px) Image search: [Google]

137KB, 1012x872px

>>35370844
Simply pointing out a factual flaw friend have a good rest

File: 1488583293477.png (162KB, 500x690px) Image search: [Google]

162KB, 500x690px

>muh rape
lol kys you INFP emotionalet. Trivializing real problems and putting huge weight on "muh rape" is the dumbest shit ever.

Please shoot yourself you double trouble melon-munching nigger-faggot. Hope you get raped again.

>>35370241
>not keeping you memories a secret so when you enact vigilate justice nobody suspects you
Fucking shame that is

File: PicsArt_02-18-02.17.43.jpg (46KB, 727x609px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 727x609px

>>35370891
4chan never ceases to make me laugh stay gold ponyboy