>walking up your stairs heading to bed >tumblr's deadliest

>>35348543
>Any last words, shitlord
Yes, once piece swimsuits are my fetish. Thank you very much for wearing one.

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*rolls behind and does a double-roundhouse kick to the back of her head

It was..my pleasure.

>>35348543
> "wait please!"
>"too late shit-lord"
> the trigger is pulled 3 times in quick succession
>I flinch and close my eyes towards the gun
> the gunshots sound out followed by a accompanying noise
> *Bang* *Thud* * Bang* * Thud* *Bang* *Thud*
>I open my eyes topen see that my shirt is in ruins but the bullets have bounced off my flesh turned to steel from excess of feels.
>"it is too late for me, the transforation is complete."
>"I am robot."
> *Proceed to brutally rape, murder, and then rape again the roastie who dared stand against me, like a grain of wheat stands against a flood of feels.

I would rape her in self defense

>>35348543
CHOKE SLAM BITCH

>>35348543
I'm the Scatman
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
(I'm the Scatman)
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub
Yo da dub dub
Ba-da-ba-da-ba-be bop bop bodda bope
Bop ba bodda bope
Be bop ba bodda bope
Bop ba bodda
Ba-da-ba-da-ba-be bop ba bodda bope
Bop ba bodda bope
Be bop ba bodda bope
Bop ba bodda bope
Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub

>>35348543
>All I'd ever wanted was to be loved

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>>35348739
Roasties on suicide watch

Original-llllsls

>>35348783
I'm surprised scatman is still original.

You guys really are young.

"For somebody from Tumblr, you're surprisingly normal looking. I was expecting someone like you but 300 pounds heavier, ugly tattoos, half your hair shaved off and the other half dyed an unnatural color, and dressed like random clothes from a thrift store attached themselves to your body."

>>35348543
*unsheathes katana with lightning speed*
Heh, this is getting fun.
*teleports behind her*

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>>35348543
>"Hello Mrs. Roastie. I have been expecting you"
>The camera zooms out to a shot of my house, what sounds like some sort of laser cannon can be heard powering up, until a short sudden blast accompanied by the roastie's screams reverberates through the house.
>The camera zooms back into my house. A pile of ash is sat on the stairs steaming where a womyn used to be.
>The camera then switches to a close up of my face.
>"Hmmm...feeling a little...bogged down? ahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAA!"
>mfw

"heh, check this out"
*jumps back, off the stairs and lands crouching*
"I have crippling obesity"
>watch her profusely apologize for thinking I was able bodied ableist

>>35348543
Yes
>Is that your phone down by your leg?
And then I make a break for it.

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Heh...so you came alone...you've underestimated me...

Let me show you just how big of a mistake you've made....HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

*dashes towards her at 10x the speed of light and does a frontflip over her*

*impales her from behind before she even realizes I've moved*

Hold her down and start smelling and licking her ass desu senpai

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N-Nani! I guess ill have to use "that" to get out of this.

>>35349867
>I have crippling obesity"
I keked heartily

I'd scream "the wage gap is a myth" and die a hero.

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*unsheathes both penis and katana at the same time.

You fucked up this time, cunt. I'm a level 47755z Soul Reaper, and I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.

>>35348543
*fart violently*

>>35348842
you realise the robot nly checks the archive and not every post ever?

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TIME FOR THE STACY-ROASTER KAAAAAMEEEEEEHAAAAAMEEEEEEHAAAAAAAA

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>>35349783
>mfw they are really our last hope

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>>35348543
Wrong house.

...Id rape the corpse. After exsanguinating it and showering it to make it clean.

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>>35350476
La Pucelle could easily kill the Bogdandovs.

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>>35350491
she will be destroyed. completely bogged.

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>>35348543
>Hello roastie. Time to get physically removed, so to speak

>>35348646
I don't remember this lesson in CQC!

>>35348543
SJWs make great material for dystopian cyberpunk world settings

*unzips fly*

>SPROING!

A massive hardon pops out,slamming her into the wall. Gushes of cum drown her. Surf down the stairway on the sperm river on her lifeless corpse waving arms in a double V for victory.

The only winning move with these people is to ghost them.

Half the reason they're like this is because it gets them attention from guys trying to defend themselves. Just walk away.

>>35348543
>*unleashes katana
>nothin personnel skank, but your roast stinks badly, lemme cut it!!