>tfw people tell me im either schizophrenic or a troll >Not

>>35341581
mayb ur just a cunt lol
just kidding my dude hope you feel betta :)

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WHY DO PEOPLE TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE SCHIZOPHRENIC? ORIGINALLY..

>>35341581
That kind of comes with the territory. No one wants to admit they're schizophrenic and have insane delusions and thoughts. It's embarrassing. However the medication does help if you've gotten to that paranoid stage. If not then youre just self diagnosis in which case you're probably meme core mental illness

>>35341581
They probs are just looking for excuses to not take u seriously
You know who u r so u do u fuck the haters

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>>35341806
Holy sjit thats lirtetallt me.
How wonderful

>>35341806
Also because I post with my
Not my heart or mind.

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>>35341749
>>35341891

are you guys fucking serious right now? type like someone with brain cells. i remember when shit like this wasn't tolerated on any internet forum, let alone 4chan. I'm sick. reeeeeeeeeeeeee etc.

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>>35342127
>Reply

EVERYONE TELLS ME IM A NORMIE OR FROM RED IT EVEN THOUGH I'VE BEEN FESTERING SCUM HERE FOR 2002 OR 2001 I DO NOT.

EVERYONE TELLS ME I DO NOT CARE ABOUT HOW THEY FEEL EVEN THOUGH THAT IS NOT TRUE

EVERYONE SAYS I AM TRYING TO MANIPULATE THEM WHEN I AM BEING AS HONEST AS POSSIBLE

No one gets me.
I say this with doubt.

Im a crazy person most likely.
But im so good at hiding it. And it makes me MORE crazy.

But i'm cool.
I look and appear to be exactly who or what I am trying to be.
But the mask is so goddamn thin.

>Like a pinata.
>Its so cool.
>So col you want to keep it. Not break it.

>But one day you break it by accident.
>There is cooked rice inside.
>It looks like maggots for a split second and youre disgusted as all hell.
>But your senses return.
>It is indeed rice.
>Perhaps the absurdity caused a hallucination.
>Still.
>Wtf? Why was there rice?
>You throw the pinata out, its still cool, but the rice

This... Metaphor? Is indicative of a few things. A latent narcissism is one of them.
But im not sure about a lot of the rest.

I am the pinata

>>35342266
...
Do you... Remember me from someplace?
Is this your idea of taking the piss perhaps?

I empathize, and I have been here long as well. Though not quite as long as you.

You almost regurgitated something I tried to explain once.

>>35342177
Ouch, that venom
They're just trying to help

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>>35342344

NO SORRY TO HAVE BROUGHT YOU HOPE IN CONNECTION TO SOMEONE YOU MIGHT HAVE KNOWN. IF YOU HAVE BEEN HERE LONG YOU KNOW ME IN 'SPIRIT'. ANONYMOUS BUT NEVER REALLY. WE ALL HAVE PART OF OURSELVES TO IMPART ON THE WHOLE.

>>35342468
I guess
It's

>>35342289
Idk maybe the rice means you eat too much grains? Like wtf when does a pinata have rice in it? Usually candy

>>35342524
>Like wtf when does a pinata have rice in it? Usually candy
Exactly.

Why does my body have me in it?
Its usually

>>35342289
I like the maggots/rice. Could see it quite clearly in my mind's eye. Very nice.

>>35341581
Hang yourself. "Schizophrenia" is a meme illness you absolute fucking retard

>>35343128
I saw it in ghost ship.
The idea that things that have no dichotomy can exist on a polarity of disinterest and disgust is I dont know.

It supports itsself.

>>35343356
Thajnk you.

>>35343382
Why do you say you're schizophrenic?

Why do you think you're schizophrenic? Is the universe sending you messages?

>>35343477
I don't.
I believe it would suck if I did.

However, the frequent consensus by what could be peoples without credibility, is I may have serious mental illness. Most commonly specified as a form of schizophrenia.

This is after they realize i'm not on drugs or trolling for "poo poo pee pee" tier attention.

>>35343513
The universe has sweet fuck all to do with me.
I just acknowledge things publicly and vaguely here in ways people see as annoying.

I feel like i am disliked like the anti buddha

>>35343533
Well, what are they reacting to in your behavior, to make them say that? Do you know or does it come out of nowhere seemingly.

>>35343571
I see.

Original

>>35343571
Do you do it with a purpose or are you just picking up on things intuitively and processing it by making a thread?

>>35343597
Typically how you are now.


I'm really sorry.
I apologize.

>>35343654
It's ok. Like asking questions or what?

>>35343649
Sometimes I make long winded detailed investigations about peculiarities when I feel a clarity about them.

No one necessarily has to listen.
I just post it because I thought it.

I feel like there's the cathartic beauty in anonymous posting on why I startedlurking this board years ago.

When it was mostly this
What I am doing now.
Before pee
Before gf
Before shootings.

It gets lonely when I feel like what im doing is archaic.

>>35343705
Pretty much.
I apologized because this is is tiring me out kind of.

I never really post in my threads becaus of this
I like to make discussions and observe them.
Being a part of them is selfish and tiring.

>>35343730
Peculiarities of what? What are you picking up on and then investgating?

>>35343766
Ok. Nice talking to you. Kinda actually curious about my last question if you're not too drained to answer.

>>35343879
Let me be clear.
I have a shit ton of time to think.
More than I need.
To the point of whether or not I am smart enough to brain up anything of worth is probably irrelevant.

I think.
I think about why I think those thoughts to a fair try at ad infinitum.

I'm jobless, friendless, and homeless.
I think about why this came to be, but it doesn't effect my thought process as much as it supplies me to do what I do.

Which is just exist.
I eat, I sleep, I see the sun come up and try to sleep some more.

I get called a crazy cunt for not articulating what I really feel or mean. It comes out garbled, self important, faux intellectual. When all i'm doing is logging everything that confuses me.

I exist and so do you.
But when something makes me want to add "probably", I feel like I have to run down the hall of thought as carefully as possible.
Its at this point I erase this whole post and post something less.

Muddled. I think I only posted because of this last part explaining how it almost wasn't posted.

I don't really expect you to understand a lot of this. It doesn't make much sense.

>>35343901
Could you elaborate on what it was?

>>35344266
I think I understand. If it's good content, people won't mind you processing things creatively, surely. Thank-you for making one last post 'over the mark.' It's good to self-censor a bit but it was nice explanation rather than overkill, imo.

>>35344279
You've answered it, above. Was curious what confuses you, if there's a pattern to what interests you or starts a train of thought.

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>>35343766

the same. i thought i was the only one who did this. i've been here for fuck knows how long and i almost never post, or ever have. even on 4chan, my internet dad, i am an observer.

>>35343382
>the idea that things that have no dichotomy can exist on a polarity of disinterest and disgust

What? What things "don't have a dichotomy", and how do these things "exist on a polarity" of emotional reactions?

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Judging from the way you talk, you seem more like a maniac than a schizo. Schizo is different. You just seem to have a weird inspiration, "madness", which has you waxing philosophical and such. You're fine, anon. Just don't be surprised when normies look at you funny if you start telling them that you're the pinata and whatever.

>>35342289

I see coworkers at my workplace that no longer work there

I have intense arguments with people that don't exist

I hear clues on the radio for things that are about to happen

I have an invisible demon gf

I know the schizophrenia feels

>>35345948
Example
Life and death.
They by majority vote, have a dichotomy.
They are the poles of a spectrum we dont understand 100%.
They contrast and compliment one another to a certain degree.

Rice and maggots however do not.
They are comepletely unrelated. Outside a possible vague passing visual resemblance to eachother. There is no dichotomy.

But.
I made an observation.
Created one.
Maggots are disgusting
Rice is boring/disinteresting.

Yet the objects look the same.
things that are similar by abnormal logic.

I know this is a lot of detail to go into given the absurdity of our exchange.
I have another way of attempting to explain if this isnt too useless annoying and long winded.

Though I don't want to waste your time

>>35346263
This isnt how I talk at all.
This is what I think in my brain 24/8.
Its an inner narrative I try to see if anyone gets.

Mostly also because bix nooding to avoid the pod people normal fags contrasts too much with this

>>35346329
>I hear clues on the radio for things that are about to happen
Damn schizophrenia is back on the table..

>>35341581
I've been locked up a couple times for drug induced psychosis. I've never been the same. Having your freedom taken from you and being treated like an animal and seeing the look of pity and fascination on the nurses face as he injects you with something that immediately causes you to loose conciousness is a horror that I would never wish on anyone.

>>35344816
But I do post when the water is nice.
But sometimes theres too much.
And there isn't any point in geting in.

>>35346490
I know i'm not doing much with my freedom.
But I'll be damned before I let themhave it over.."this".

I don't know what to say to you.
There isn't anything to apologize about.

Too many of my connections are gestated on negativity.

would it be autistic to just, create my own word to say to you?

Something that indicates I comisserate with the fear, and hope you overcame it. But not in a patronizing way.

>>35346263
>waxing philosophical
Ive had run ins with that deconstruction before.

I always perceive it negatively.
To wax philosophical to me is the same as pretending to be smarter than you are.
To wear lenseless frames.

I'm not pretending to be anything.
These are my unfiltered thoughts, mediocre as I believe they are.
As I always wish I could express them better, more genuinely, more simply without being told I'm waxing philosophy by throwing around big words because I can't find smaller ones to get my point across.

Whenever I start to feel too "inside my head" I start doing something physical, push-ups, organizing things, etc.

Something that forces me to interact with the physical world instead of agonizing over my thoughts. The goal is to try and silence all the verbal thinking for a few minutes.

Words are a slimy mode of thinking and combined with too much meta cognition I think they can exacerbate the effects of mental illness. Usually what happens to me is I start over analogizing, seeing symbolic relations that aren't really there, or are tenuous at best. And constantly having to listen to the crazy parables my imagination is cooking up gets to be pretty annoying.

I hope this helps you, or someone reading.

>>35347154
Im always reading.
Overanalyzing is what I do best.
Exercise not so much.

Im a buck 30 soaking wet

>>35347154
>Words are a slimy mode of thinking
Also well said.

>>35346648
I'm doing much better now. I kind of learned my lesson, but I still eat LSD, I've cut back with taking drugs in general and I do feel wiser having felt what I felt and seen what I've seen but holy shit it just hurts sometimes. I feel like I'm 50 already and I've barely turned 24. I appreciate what you are saying and I think I get it. Life is about being thankful. I'm so thankful I'm not in that padded room anymore. Letting go of the demons really is the key I think. They can only torment you while you let them run around your mind. Forcing them out with mantras or positive stuff works well. Gotta make new patterns that are deeper and stronger and happier than the old ones.