>those days where you try to make friends with people and

>tfw go to tutorials for first time
>meet classmates
>start thinking 'shit you were sperging out'
>change tutorials when I get home

i'll tell you what's worse
>mustering up all your willpower to suppress your autism for a minute, using up every trick you know to make a good first impression and buckling under the pressure of having to keep that pretense up whenever you're around those people until your performance anxiety gets so bad that you cut all ties with them and disappear from their life rather than letting them see your true self

>>35328333
>when you stop auto-blinking while trying to appear normal and not look at the ground while walking down the street

>>35328306
>that first speech in uni speech class
really set the tone for the next 4 years...

File: 1478915425643.jpg (125KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

125KB, 600x600px

>>35328306
>giving a fuck

I'm done trying to impress normies who don't care about me anyway. I don't act like an asshole slob but I don't fucking care if some fag I'm never going to interact with thinks I'm strange or whatever.

I'm just gonna bee myself

>>35328383
i tried the 'fake it till you make it' approach in college and fortunately there was a group of people not much more normal than me so it actually worked and i felt relatively ok and relaxed around them after some time. now college is over, everyone moved on and i'm 100% fucked. if your first interaction is bad, it really sets the way people perceive you and the way you behave around those people. you're fucked on both ends if you don't get it right.

>>35328359
>when you consciously control your body language at all times around people until your muscles start to hurt from correcting your posture and gait and have to excuse yourself to the bathroom where you sit with your head in your hands, crying silently until you feel you're ready to regain your composure and use vasoconstricting eyedrops so people can't tell you've been crying
I want to fucking kill myself. I'll never be a normie. why do I even bother with this charade. people can tell anyway, I'm sure.