>lied on another job application fuck employers robots. if

>>35324209
>make sure you actually are capable of working the job
This is the main problem for me though

lying about experience is one thing, but lying about having skills you don't have will probably put me into some deep shit

>>35324381

yeah, well, don't lie about being a doctor or anything, but stuff like customer service, etc is just common sense.

I do this alot, hell I've changed my title to something that sounds similar but has more responsibilities. It's gotten me interviews and offers

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>>35324209
And the reference checks will usually not even ask about the specifics of what you did just that you worked, if you are eligible for rehire. Lying is the way to go, fucking HR cucks have no idea how to write an ad for a position. Be NEET instead if you can.

>>35324532

exactly and if the HR people get nosy, just tell your reference to say that its company policy to not say anything other than that you worked there for the dates you had on your resume and eligible for rehire.

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>>35324209
>I'm a people person
They fucking hired me.
I didn't talk about anything that wasn't necessary business the whole time I was there.

>>35325491
>I'm a people person
does saying shit like this actually work, or did you have other things that exceeded the requirements?

>>35326149

people will take someone who is good to work with over someone who does good work but is a complete sperg

>>35326149
I was adequately qualified for the job.
Just had to "be myself"
Smile, shake their hand, head up, don't let your eyes fall below the horizon, look them in the eyes or at least stare at the bridge of their nose.

>>35324209
>told my employer I was one the youngest person on Earth
>am now regional manager

JUST

Wait so you're not scared of them asking or calling the place you claimed to have worked?

>>35326899
Not OP, but nope. Of the 3 places that hired me, only 1 of them bothered calling a reference. The reference I left was my old "boss", but really it was just me and a burner cell.

The lady who called me only asked basic questions, nothing at all related to job performance. But yeah if you have nobody to lie for you as a reference, just buy a burner and make up a name

>>35327008
I don't get this though can't they just look up the location you worked at and call the place? Please explain I really need a job and I'll lie for it I'll die for it nigga

>>35324532
Lmao half of places don't even follow up on references, and usually they don't care because by the time they're doing reference calls you've already got the job. Nobody at Walmart HR cares enough to deny you your cashier job because you got fired from your last job, they just want the position filled so they don't have staffing issues.

Mom and pop places and higher paying jobs at entry level might call references, but if it's a position they give to someone with Down's there's no way you can fuck it up.

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>>35327062
No worries man. If you're anything like I was (early 20's NEET with 0 work experience), you're straight up going to have to fictionalize that fucking resume. Make up a business you worked for, and tell the interviewer that they went out of business. Say you volunteered at some church group, any religion will do. Make a church up, there are 350,000 of them in the U.S. alone.

Hell, you can even say that you started your own business-from-home, such as freelance photography or general handyman stuff. The person on this resume should not sound a thing like the person who is writing it

I've had luck just completely fabricating a previous business, and if anyone asks just say they got shut down. No HR person is going to investigate that shit.

>>35324209
I love how people always worry about having "gaps in their resume". Nigga I have been NEET 3 times in 4 years, and not once did I include that in my resume. I always just extend how long it was I was employed at a company.

I quit in January? Hmm, lets push that forward to November

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Is it illegal to falsify your resume?

>>35324209
>wanting job interviews

lmaoing at wagies

>>35327283
No, but it is illegal to lie about having certain credentials, such as teaching credentials. Also, don't lie about your background before they do a background check.

>>35327321
You're going to need a job sooner or later babe

>>35327354
Why? I'm on a permanent disability and I'm an only child to both my parents so I'll have inheritance.

>>35327389
Is your body broken? What happened fambo

>5:00 pm
>have to go to work tomorrow
>becoming increasingly anxious
>constant sense of dread
>feel like I'm on the verge of having a panic attack
>almost start crying every now and then
>hands won't stop shaking
>can't eat
>feel like throwing up
>time feels like it's passing faster and faster
>know I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight

Happens every single Sunday night.

I can't do this for another 40 years.

>>35327399
How long have you been working for?

I had that for the first three weeks of working. Now I've adapted and its fine, no more anxiety.

>>35327397
My mind and body are both broken. Degenerative bone disease, can barely stand for 5 minutes, only gets worse with age, will be completely wheelchair bound soon, losing mobility in other joints too.

Besides that, i've been diagnosed as clinically insane in the past although i am more stable now, my mental issues are sort of bred from my declining physical state.

>>35327425
I've been at this job for 7 years.

>>35327427
Soon you'll have no connection with the material world. You lucky son of a bitch.

>>35327437
What's the job?

I cant believe it hasnt just normalised for you in that time period

>>35327399
Christ anon, is the job that bad? I get anxious a few hours before I have to clock in

>>35327445
I'll be taking my own life before I come completely wheelchair bound I imagine.

could I say I voluntarily helped in a kitchen for church? evn if they want to check I could give them a private number for reference

>>35327463
I'd probably do the same. I'd also make sure not to leave my inheritance to a son destined to die at a young age

>>35327480
They don't really have anybody else to leave it to, I'll probably die before they do, in saying that.

>>35327470
Sounds good, but if you're already going to lie, you're better off lying about a job you had. Volunteering is nice and all, but these people need to think that you're hireable

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>>35327427
>my mental issues are sort of bred from my declining physical state.
That's understandable. Better an hero before you're a vegetable.

>>35327399
>Work in an hour
>Get an upset stomach
>Get the shits
>It's getting closer to when I have to leave
>Keep needing to shit
>Need to leave really soon
>That makes me more anxious
>Makes me need to shit more
>Get to work and they're always understaffed
>Working the register
>Only one there
>The line of customers is out the door
>Can see their pissed off faces
>Need to shit more than ever
>Nobody to take over for me
Happens every shift.

>>35327452
>>35327450
I won't say exactly what my job is, but it's not that relevant, it's not the job itself.
I find the work somewhat enjoyable every now and then.

It's having to be around people, for the most part.
I just want peace and quiet.
I hate having to listen to the inane normie jabbering all day.
I feel like screaming when I get there in the morning and everybody has to say "Good morning!" to me.
I just want to scream at them and tell them to all shut up, to stop fucking smiling like that.
It feels like it takes a massive amount of effort to talk to them when they talk to me.
I'm utterly exhausted at the end of the day just from being around people.

I know I have to go there almost every day, I need the money to live.
Even if I got another job, it'd just be the same.

I can't keep doing this just to come home to my empty house every day.
It's not worth it.
I want to die.

>>35327540
>Happens every shift

You probably have IBS anon, theres a pill for that

>>35324209
considering that you're still interviewing, you don't seem to quite be able to work past point one of your plan
otherwise: yes. written applications work through
aggrandization of things you have done and LARPing things you've never done. (especially if the employer put out some bullshit teamwork/social qualifications on their notice - like there's a bloody diploma for it.)

How will they react when they look up my name and find out I don't have normiebook?

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>>35327563
Damn. I'm honestly surprised you haven't become accustomed to it yet. I work in the Healthcare industry, so I hate people now more then ever. That being said, whenever I walk in through the hospital doors, a switch goes on in my brain that makes me become charismatic and friendly. The first few weeks, I had to force that switch on, but now it just happens automatically.

Maybe kill a rat or something, get all of that anger out of you

>>35327628
Isn't there an option now on kikebook that you can check to say you don't want to appear on google or something ?
I think it's better to not have a kikebook and leave the doubt that you might have no social life than to have a kikebook that's completely empty and confirm that you are asocial.

>>35327651
>Damn. I'm honestly surprised you haven't become accustomed to it yet.
It's gotten worse.
The first few years were fine.

>>35327628
Say that you had one, but that it was too distracting and you found yourself wasting too much time behind the screen

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>>35327566
I was on IBS and anxiety meds, and doing CBT stuff. Didn't help.
I quit a year ago and I've been a neet since, I'm honestly pretty afraid of getting another job just because of those feelings. Didn't mind doing the labour, rationally told myself every time there's nothing to be anxious about. Couldn't do anything to stop the dread.

Might be getting permanent neetbux, that'll take the pressure off. Hopefully I can get a job in a warehouse or somewhere where I don't have to talk to people.

>>35327690
Become a night shift security guard. You're by yourself, you have loads of free time, and the pay is halfway decent. They'll hire damn near anyone so long as their record is clean

>tfw sent about 50 applications
>not a single interview
I'm gonna alter my resume and add as much as I legally can. Thank you guys!

>>35327750
Good luck man. If all else fails, go to a temp agency. Most assignments pay above minimum wage

>>35327062

Unlikely, that's why they ask you to provide the reference. If you get caught, you don't get the job and you're no worse off than you are now. Nothing to be lost, plenty to be gained. And don't feel bad about it. Most employers will fuck you over whenever it suits them, don't give them respect they don't deserve.

Also download the Fake Resume guide. It's on Scribd, it will help you work out how to best do it. You can download 3 things for free when you first make an account, but the guy sells it for like $60 on his website.