>fap >cum >need to shit >shit >don't need

>balls on the outside
>apendix can explode whenever it wants
>the sun gives you cancer if ur white
>the winter forces u to take suplements if youre black so you donk kill urself
>there are mental illneses that make you want to end your life thus ending millions of years of evolution

Whom the fuck designed us what the fuck

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>tfw self-aware
What evolutionary benefit does this even serve?

>finish taking a shower
>suddenly feel the urge to take a shit

Life is suffering

>>35303433

Stop jerking off so much!
When your masturbatory habits make your dick hurt it's time to cool it brah!!!

>>35304263
Evolution doesn't work based on benefits anon,
It's not that good things get rewarded, it's that shitty mutations get eliminated. Consciousness is a huge fucking misstep in evolution, and make no mistake it will get wiped out.

>>35304182
>>the winter forces u to take suplements if youre black so you donk kill urself
Is this why I want to kill myself
because I don't go outside more?

Shitpost #3

>>35303433
>Who designed this?

God did. Show some respect you little twerp.

>>35304415
I can do better.
>Expel waste through ass, both poopoo and peepee
>leaves dick to be for cumming only
>a lot of problems in life instantly solved

Can someone worship me enough to where I'm actually a god so I can make this happen please?

>>35304392
Actually, yes.
Not getting enough UV rays can lead to depression. Although you can just buy a blacklight and be fine

>almost never need to shit
>if I do, it's as I'm jerking off
>If I shit before jerking off, I have to deal with the shit smell and potentially shit dick
>If I jerk off, I have to take a shit, but the urge goes away after I finish

Thanks

>>35303433
Happens when you fap with an incomplete erection.

I get it frequently too. Can only get fully hard from top-tier degenerate stuff.

>>35303433
>shit
>anus starts to bleed again from straining
>wash up
>shitting caused discomfort and irritated bowel so feel like shitting constantly
>anus bleeds even more and does not heal up
>using hemorrhoid cream makes me feel like shitting more due to lubing up the bowels
>get internal anal prolapse out of all of it
>always feel like if I relax even a bit I might shit myself
>clear anal mucus discharge due to infection
>can't wipe at all and must use a shower to clean
>cleaning makes anus bleed even more and irritates it further

Make it stop, just make it all stop

>>35305373
Which again just leads me to wonder why

>>35305389
Gotta sew up the asshole and post day by day results

>>35305323
Try an anal plug while you jack it! Could be fun

>>35305459
If I remember correctly it's because lots of cum gets stuck in the lower regions of your tube causing discomfort.
Which is why you usally have an incomplete ejaculation when it happens.

>>35305548
What's the solution? Squeeze and wring your dick out like a tube of toothpaste?

>>35305570
No, just have a full erection before you go at it, instead of jerking it at half mast.
You cant really squeeze it out if it's barely past you ballsack.

>>35305615
But anon

I can't even remember the last time I was fully torqued

>>35305652
Are your main kinks illegal or something?

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>>35304850
>pee through anus
>solid dumps are now shit slush that sprays all over the toilet
from bad to hell

>>35305323
>masturbate on toilet while shitting
problems fixed

>>35305665
my main kink is illegal but I like some easy access stuff, I guess I'm just dysfunctional or something

>>35305681
Easy fix, I'll make assholes more funnel shaped so that the fecal mixture comes out like frosting

>>35304338
Stop fingering your asshole in the shower :^)

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>masturbate
>ejaculate
>ass suddenly hurts
Please tell me this isn't the result of some scary medical condition. It only happens quite rarely, maybe a few times a month.

And no I don't put things up my ass. I've never touched a dildo and I've never had gay (or non-gay) sex.